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[mvd]

This message was self-deleted by its author (mvd) on Sun Sep 18, 2022, 01:15 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Joinfortmill]

1. So sorry.

[Dorian Gray]

304. This reply

I work in the not for profit sector, and this post has a lot of red flags. My job is FUNDING organizations and campaigns, and I would stay far far away from this.

If the OP's situation is exactly how he describes, I am sorry that he is suffering anxiety about food insecurity. But there still is a reluctance to use resources (food pantries etc.) that exist to help in this situation. Red Flag #1.

Every question is met with an explanation or insistence of reaching goal. Red Flag #2

The poster has repeatedly asked for money in an emergency situation. Red Flag #3


DU should consider limiting Go Fund Me requests per poster. Make a rule about the number they are allowed to post every year/quarter whatever.

I would encourage people NOT to donate to this request unless they have a way to verify the identity of the poster.

[demtenjeep]

2. nooooo

please research

[demtenjeep]

3. aw

This fundraiser is continuing due to food insecurity and having no money for the month. Your generosity would be hugely appreciated at this time






ut haven’t seen any for Medicare yet. Still looking. Thinking about food pantries but want to avoid if possible. Social worker is in our plans, too.

[ForgedCrank]

12. You

called it, it's just a day behind schedule is all.

[2naSalit]

17. +1

DU seems to have become a regular income source.

[demtenjeep]

30. I knew it

I tried to warn but as "he" says-if people want to give the money why shouldn't he take it?





My next suggestion will be to go stand with a huge cardboard box or a big sack on a get on a busy intersection and hold your sign up



I hear on can raise a few thousands a day sometimes and I live in a little city.

[XanaDUer2]

47. GFM is much easier

[mvd]

4. Thank you so much to those who have donated and rec'd the thread

It really gives me and my mom some relief in what has seemed like hell. I really wanted to list what I have done because my donors deserve that.

[GPV]

5. Kick

[mvd]

6. Thank you!

[a kennedy]

7. Just gave.....sure hope you can find some relief. ♥️

[mvd]

9. Thank you very much!

It is very appreciated

[XanaDUer2]

8. You need to contact local places of worship

And see if any members can volunteer to drive you to a food pantry. Lots of retirees love to help. Why not utilize food pantries?

[mvd]

10. They do seem to be the best

Have talked to them, used them and will definitely continue to.

[XanaDUer2]

11. Pantries also have paper products nt

[mvd]

13. Good to know

I was looking them up today and there are a few nearby..

[LisaL]

46. What is your objection to using food pantries?

If you claim that you have no money for food, why do you want to avoid using food pantries?

[demtenjeep]

48. GFM is easier

“And if friends want to donate why turn it down”

[mvd]

65. No objection really

But having NO money is a big problem.

[Gaugamela]

14. ...

[Hekate]

15. Have you tried Area Agency on Aging yet? Have you looked into Meals on Wheels for mom?

Have you checked the local food pantry?

I hope any of these can help. People here are on your side.

[mvd]

16. All good ideas, Hekate

I want to explore these as well as all the ones I mentioned. Mom doesn’t like cooking anymore and I can only cook basic stuff.

I will check back tomorrow. Getting closer to my goal..

[Hekate]

206. And? How did it go when you called?

[demtenjeep]

211. hahaha

surely you jest

[Hekate]

214. Just checking

[mvd]

223. They helped with

applying for benefits we haven't gotten yet and recommendations for social work. The transportation has been harder to find. Have lots of ideas now.

[mvd]

18. Friday kick

It is so important that this does well because the stability keeps mom better. It is obvious that fear and having no money are at the root of her problems. Some lingering grief, too. But money is the biggest. Thanks so much.

[mvd]

19. If I reach at least the goal, combined with my planning..

I should finally have my mom and me in better position. So grateful for any help I can get.

The goal could have been bigger but I like to start out on the lower side.

[Tree-Hugger]

20. My resources list

I'm going to drop a link to the resources I listed in a prior thread. This includes transportation, food pantries, local organizations, etc. I realize it's hard to dig through old posts, so here is that list again:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=16974326

[mvd]

22. Thanks again!

I can definitely still use it.. one of the most helpful posts I have seen.

[Hekate]

216. Have you called anyone or any entity on that list? It was incredibly detailed, and...

…if it were me, I’d print it out and start a 3-ring binder to keep track of who I was calling and what they said, and then what I did to obtain the benefits I was asking for.

That’s just the kind of thing I did as a secretary to keep track of stuff I was doing.

And earlier in life, when I was new in town, I filled a spiral notebook with cut-out want-ads from the newspaper, and notes where I called every single one asking not only about the duties of the job but about salary and benefits — because I had two toddlers to feed and rent to pay and I didn’t have time to muck about. I was terrified every day. And that’s the story of how I became a secretary at the University, which didn’t pay wonderfully, but which had very good benefits.

I wish you all the best, but eventually you too will find that you don’t have any more time to muck about. People here have been very generous with their time and their expertise and their money — but some of us have begun to wonder if it is only the latter you are willing to utilize.

[mvd]

219. It is wonderful and yes I have

I have called about utilities, social services, subsidized housing, transportation, home health services - still sorting out what to use but no doubt it is helping. People do have the right to know after all this what I am doing to help mom and me.

[XanaDUer2]

21. Why won't you use a food pantry

If you have no food?

[mvd]

23. I got some donations to shop for now

The problem is I need more money for the rest of the month. Food pantries are definitely still an option if I have to.

[XanaDUer2]

24. If you don't have food or money for food

Then it's not an option. I checked, and there are tons of food pantries near you.

There are, literally, places that can give you free groceries. It's not Instacart, but it's food.

[mvd]

25. I am not disputing that

But of course I would only use when needed. It is great that they are around. I looked into them also. There is one in Collegeville, one at a local Parish and one in Spring City. Without them there would be more hunger for sure.

[WDLAL]

27. I'm sorry you are in this position.

I’ve read that you have autism, so this all must be especially difficult for you. I think the idea of using the food pantry is that the money that you would have spent on food can be used for bills or other things.

[mvd]

28. Thank you very much

Yes, it is especially difficult for us. My biggest problem is being out of money for so long. I agree that those kinds of decisions must be made. It is such an adjustment from the middle class life I had and adjustments are harder for autistic people.

[ForgedCrank]

26. Something tells me

there is a super critical dietary restriction in there somewhere that won't allow for it.
But it's a great idea that he'll think about, he just has to hit the goal first.

[mvd]

29. Once again I would appreciate the help so much

I don’t want to overdraft, mom and I need things besides food like medication and some transportation, and mom can’t handle that long without money. It is especially hard to do the effort of changing, but I have definitely made progress as stated. It got to the point this has to be the last call for help. So before I leave this thread for the night, keep this all in mind. I understand what everyone has said but couldn’t avoid this situation.

[photokath]

31. New low income internet help

I just read about this https://www.fcc.gov/acp

[mvd]

32. Thank you

I had it on Tracfone but that terrible company just dropped it out of the blue. Customer service doesn’t know what I am talking about. Maybe I can get a free $30 plan from Xfinity..

[Tree-Hugger]

36. This is not TracFone

The link you were given is for a credit from the government that goes to the company you use for phone/internet....in your case, that sounds like Xfinity. You can easily apply online.

Xfinity also has Internet Essentials, which offers low cost internet service and equipment.

Xfinity mobile has an option for "by the gig" phone plans. 1 GB per month is $15 dollars. However, they offer unlimited data for $45/mo for one phone line.

Lifeline is another option for folks who receive medicaid.

[mvd]

50. What I meant was I used Tracfone for my mobile phone

And had the government program there. I am not sure why it just ended. Yes, I prefer going to a different company now.

[radicalleft]

38. Thank you

The OP is a never ending drama case...

[Mad_Dem_X]

34. Just donated

Wishing you and your mom all the best.

[mvd]

52. Thank you so much!

I am now even closer to my goal. Just a few small donations would bring me to it. Anything helps.

[Firehawk]

37. I'm not sure I understand

I’m going to donate, but there are some things that just don’t add up here.

You say you are “deaf,” but then are able to have phone conversations with service providers. You say you can’t get a job because you are always asking “what?” How do you have phone conversations?

In your post you say that this GFM is because you have no food. But now you are refusing to use a food pantry? That makes no sense.

You say you are “autistic,” but then admit you’ve never actually been diagnosed. I don’t get why neither of your parents or you ever thought to get diagnosed. It would boost your disability claim.

You say your dad worked for govt, but there’s no pension?

I’m not trying to be difficult or give you a hard time here. I’m legitimately trying to understand. These questions keep popping up in my head.

Anyways, anything you can do to shed light on this would be helpful.

Nonetheless it sounds like you do need help so I’m going to donate. I’ll also donate to the GFMs you’ll have up in Oct and Nov.

[radicalleft]

39. Don't do it...

[XanaDUer2]

41. One thing that was odd on a previous GFM thread

Last edited Sat Sep 10, 2022, 10:29 AM - Edit history (1)

And that roiled some, was him not using his Medicaid dentist. The food-pantry shit blows my mind, but I'm just a disabled former librarian who never had a middle-class lifestyle.

[LisaL]

45. He is still using the same GFM where

he has to pay for his dental issues, where he is using a dentist that won't take his insurance. The description is in the GFM.
If you don't have enough money for food, I would suggest not to use a dentist that doesn't take your insurance.
I am just saying...

[mvd]

54. I was told it wouldn't be good to use a new one

As for the dentist, I had to put off my dental cleaning due to my current situation. I am looking into options for when I can pay for it.

I am happy to answer questions.

[tblue37]

44. I am severely hearing impaired, to the degree that I call myself "deaf," but I can

use the phone, though it's hard, sometimes impossible, to understand some people.

Even with both hearing aids, I struggle in face-to-face conversation with one person, and with more than one person it's hopeless.

Here's an article in which I explain the nuances of hearing impairment:

http://deafnotdumb.homestead.com/deafnuances.html

"Just the Other Day I Was Talking to My Deaf Mother on the Phone . . ."

[Tree-Hugger]

53. That was a good read

I am hearing impaired. I can't afford hearing aids and, as you know, insurance coverage for hearing services is low/non-existant. People do not understand that hearing is very nuanced. There are times I can't hear you if you're next to me, but I may be able to hear a whisper across the room. Frequencies matter. For me, I have a lot of eustacian dysfunction and that will vary my hearing abilities greatly throughout the day. I also have tinnitus 24/7, which is made worse by a variety of factors. People assume you are either deaf or you can hear well. They don't pick up on the gray areas.

Don't get me started on healthcare for hearing loss in adults.

[tblue37]

57. Furthermore, they assume hearing aids are like glasses, providing 100% correction in most cases.

They're not. My hearing aids help me hear about as well as Grandma's walker helps her run races.

[mvd]

60. Yeah I have them but they are old

It seems Medicaid doesn’t cover new ones. I still often hear sounds but can’t make out the voices.

[tblue37]

61. Contact the Lion's Club. They refurbish glasses, and some also refurbish hearing aids,

to give to low-income people.

[mvd]

62. Thank you

That would be a help especially for the one. I think CostCo will be out of warranty for even routine maintenance soon.

[tblue37]

58. Before I got hearing aids in 1992, thanks to a bit of money from my dad's life insurance,

I used a small sound amplifier from Radio Shack. It was the size of a portable radio, and I used one earbud rather than two, because my left ear hears pretty nearly nothing, so I wanted all the sound to go into my right ear.

It did help. Maybe you can use something inexpensive like that to get some help.

[demtenjeep]

49. I'm gonna put one up

Thanks in advance for the donation

[mvd]

51. Thank you. I will answer the questions

I am not completely deaf but my hearing doctor said it was severe enough to be considered legal. I can hear but it is very impaired. Oh the phone the voice goes right into my ear.

It is not that I am refusing. If I ever had to, my friend would take me to the food pantry. But if I can avoid it, I would.

Not all autistic people get tested. My past doctor wrote that I was autistic in her notes. I may need a test for disability. I thought the doctor would be enough.

My dad used up all his pension and everything else after he lost his job. All that remained was his social security.

I really hope to have no more GFM.

[Firehawk]

63. Wait a second here ---

You wrote…

“It is not that I am refusing. If I ever had to, my friend would take me to the food pantry. But if I can avoid it, I would.”

The “if I ever had to….” Makes no sense. Either you need food or you don’t.

I know people (including myself) who’ve used food pantries. You can get name brand products there.

I’m starting to get the impression it’s not that you don’t have things, but you don’t have things you want.

You need a dentist, but it can’t be the Medicaid dentist. You need food but you are too good for a food bank.

I’m glad I asked questions before donating.

[mvd]

64. I feel you have the wrong impression

I don’t feel too good for anything. It has been a big adjustment for me, that is all. I have transportation problems and can’t even always get to a food pantry. It is not that I have never made mistakes - we all have - but I don’t think that way.

As far as the dentist, I have seen horror stories about the Medicaid ones in my area. I have seen the results of bad dentistry with my mom.

No bad motives here. Just adjustment and fear and lack of money at all.

[XanaDUer2]

66. Name-brand stuff

TP, potatoes, rice, beans. He's in a mind-blowingly charity-and-resource-rich area. I was a defacto social worker at my last job, and my job and patrons' lives would have been so much easier to have those many resources. The state even cut Legal Aid.

There were 2 food pantries, one of which was far away from downtown and a truck handout with long lines. Very depressing and disheartening, many staff had burnout from the frustration of trying to help with limited resources. We even had a sanitary-napkin drive for homeless. Just donations. I was in charge of it.

[mvd]

67. The only thing about my area is it's sprawling and..

not always centralized. Philly suburbs are that way. It certainly beats living in a lot of areas, though. I think you bring up a lot of good options and I am thankful.

[demtenjeep]

187. WAWA is less than a mile from you

I walk that far every night in this big ole scary city when I walk my puppy

I would love to shop at a Wawa or a Sheetz

[XanaDUer2]

190. There must be services for the homebound

Who need food and paper products from food pantries. Lots of poor people don't have cars.

Maybe there's delivery for the elderly and disabled. Won't hurt to call and find out.

Off topic, but WAWA is such a silly name.

[mvd]

68. Also, welcome to DU

I appreciate your donation and hope I made you feel better. The problem is having no money for so long, not food banks. I should have been to them before. I feel I and my mom made some mistakes, but the key is to learn from them.

I have learned so much from these DU threads and will keep up my progress.

[tblue37]

59. Here's another article about how some deaf (i.e. severely hearing impaired) people can sometimes

function on a telephone, if certain conditions are met:

http://deafnotdumb.homestead.com/cellphones.html

[Maraya1969]

123. He is lying and this is a grift. I just reported him to Gofundme and to DU. I've asked for my

donation back.

On DU I am usually trusting and give money a lot more freely but this guy has obviously taken advantage of our good natures here

[Hekate]

207. I remember the previous thread, and it is beyond belief to me that this still goes on

[demtenjeep]

213. and that people give

goodness gracious.

the goal posts move every post

[hamsterjill]

286. Didn't any fundraising have to be approved by the moderators in times past?

I’m an old timer DU and I seem to remember that was a requirement at one time. I think it needs to be reinstated.

[Tree-Hugger]

40. Mental health resources

You note your own autism and your mom's mental health decline.

Your county's Mobile Crisis unit is available 24/7. They can help you access autism support and mental health support resources and they are pretty good at pinpointing needs. I've used them before.

https://www.accessservices.org/services/mobile-crisis/

The county also has programming for folks with autism.

https://www.montcopa.org/1332/How-to-Access-Services

Merakey is one of the biggest - if not the biggest - mental health provider in the county. They are for folks for Medicaid.

This is their adult behavioral office line: 215-362-7955
This is another: 215-716-9001

Their autism services: 215-716-9001

Pennsylvania Aging and Disability resource helpline:

1-800-753-8827


Use the food pantries. That is what they are there for.

[mvd]

55. Thank you so much

[tblue37]

43. K&R for visibility. nt

[mvd]

56. Thank you

[mvd]

69. Kick for visibility

[PennRalphie]

70. An idea

Hi mvd. I have been reading DU for a long time and finally decided to officially join because of the midterms. It’s important that we get Fetterman into office. Your posts always intrigued me since it showcases the mess the GOP has made of PA. People like you and your mother, who both need help, are unable to get that help.

I sense a hesitation among the good people here to donate any further and it “could” be that you’ve never explained what you did with the money already donated. Just saying it went for overdraft doesn’t really make sense. Anyhow, I have an idea. Hear me out.

Nobody wants to see you and your mother without food. In the past few days, your GFM has received $325. What if you asked for gift cards to whatever grocery store offering delivery. You can use some of the $325 for the delivery fee. I really think 10 people would offer you a $5 gift card each. That’s $50 and with that you can feed your mother and yourself for a week! Most places deliver with a charge of $10-$20. You have that much and more. This way, people who really want to help will know their money went towards food and you and your mother would be able to eat.

You would just need an email address and you can make a free one so it doesn’t further identify you. The e gift cards would be sent to that email. You can then order the food online, using the e gift cards, and pay for the delivery out of the $325 you recently collected. I know I would be more than willing to participate in something like this.

I hope you think it’s a good idea. I really think you would be surprised at the generosity of people if they’re absolutely sure they know where their money is going.

[mvd]

71. Hi!

Welcome to DU! You are so right about Fetterman. The midterms in PA are so important that they scare me even though Fetterman and Shapiro are ahead. The legislature has indeed blocked a lot of good stuff. For example, Wolf wants to send a $2,000 check out to people but the Republicans won’t let it pass. Looking forward to your posts.

People here have been great with giving but maybe you are right. I try to explain and I will attempt more. I bought food and necessities with the donations. I got a lot in one GoFundMe that I put towards the electric bill. It is after that I got a lot of medical expenses and repairs that I could not handle. Lots of bills. I have made changes in the budget but it is still hard to work with what we had. I admit to having overdraft problems but that isn’t all my fault. Part of this GoFundMe is to keep from doing it again. It is a terrible cycle.

If anyone has ideas other than donations I would like to hear them and be open. But the donations are the most direct way.

I want to get past this and back to regular posting. I unfortunately don’t have many places to reach out to.

[mvd]

72. Another thing was the emergency room visits when..

we had no way to get there other than spend. If it wasn’t for mom, I wouldn’t be going through all of this fundraising. I love her so much. She has been driven even older than her 73 years. A job would be easier to look for if she had others in her life.

[XanaDUer2]

73. I thought you were moving forward on ssdi?

You have to not be able to work.

[mvd]

74. Yes

I will be appealing using the hearing and autism again. May have to get tested for autism. My eyesight also isn’t good (and have old glasses) but haven’t gotten it tested. Also have osteoarthritis and back problems.

[demtenjeep]

93. oh new disabilities

wow

haven't heard these new ones.

Do tell?



Did you know my hubby is legally blind? No really-he is.

but went to college and has worked years with ADAPTATIONS

[Hekate]

208. My gods, this guy is making a good living, isn't he?

[demtenjeep]

212. I hope he has filled out his 1099-K IRS form

they don't take too kindly not paying taxes

[question everything]

229. How many DUers are still out there that are willing to give money, never bothering

to read comments that shed the light on this scam?

Started last September

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215909861

In October he reached his goal

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215946390

Not yet, new year now in January

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216254697

And in April

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181653807

And in May

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216659843

And so it goes.

No, I did not donate. By the time I found one of the earlier one I read all the comments about suggestions that go no where and, yes, a list of the never ending GFM.

Oh, on edit, he reached his goal in July

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181683562

and so it goes

[betsuni]

233. +1

[demtenjeep]

264. I agree

Why I try to enlighten

[Hekate]

291. +1

[PennRalphie]

79. Why ER cost?

Your mother is on Medicare. Why are you getting bills for the ER? Surely you’ve helped her get a no cost supplement by now.

[mvd]

81. It's the Uber to get there and back

I still haven’t found reliable transportation. Yes, the actual visits continue to be covered as far as I know. But there have been a lot of them. I don’t like that she’s on Medicare Advantage.

[PennRalphie]

88. You can work from home

There are a ton of jobs, especially since COVID that are strictly work from home. Lots and lots of customer service jobs that involve only typing, no actual calling. You can get one of those jobs and still be home to care for your mother.

On the Uber to and from the ER, just how far are you from the closest ER? Even if it’s a $30 Uber fare each way, you had many thousands donated.

[mvd]

89. Donated at different times

This is the particular situation now. It seems now you are just trying to find anything I do wrong. I am already so stressed and don’t want to do that all night. Need some positivity.

As for jobs, taking care of mom is one though not paid. But yes I am open to anything that would work for me.

[PennRalphie]

90. Sorry

I didn’t meant to stress you. I want to help you and your mother with food. I really thought I offered a great suggestion with the grocery store gift card.

Don’t stress.

[mvd]

91. That's fine

And thank you. I like the idea also if they want to do it instead of donating.

[demtenjeep]

188. being stressed is the defense when questions can't be answered

or the truth is pointed out

[PennRalphie]

75. Hi

Shapiro and Fetterman will both win by double digits.

Do you like my gift card idea? This thread started with you saying you had no food for you and your mother. It’s a way to get you food, immediately, and everyone who donated will know exactly where their money went.

[mvd]

76. I agree they will - just nervous

Yes I do. I just don’t quite understand how it works exactly. If others want to do it I would agree. I still think donations are more direct.

[mvd]

77. My main e-mail is [email protected]

Gift cards could be sent there if that is what people want. They can definitely be useful.

[PennRalphie]

84. Internet provider

Surely you’re not paying the outrageously high internet pricing for Verizon, are you?

[mvd]

85. No, stuck with Xfinity for now

Just didn’t change my e-mail. I am calling them to see if I can further lower things. I dropped channels but it is still too much.

[PennRalphie]

86. ?

You can change your internet service to the absolute basics. You can’t afford anything else. Xfinity Comcast has very basic plans that don’t cost much at all. In your precarious financial situation, you can’t afford streaming channels or anything other than basic basic basic cable.

[mvd]

87. Yep, already lowered

Still though I wonder if I can do better with YouTube TV.

[demtenjeep]

136. when we had NO MONEY 0$$$ we did not have cable or phone or internet

those are not necessities

the local libraries have internet for job applications and paperwork

[XanaDUer2]

78. Trips to a food pantry

Would be less nerve-inducing. But giftcards would, at least, help donors know that you and your mother are buying food.

Good idea!

[mvd]

80. It is

Any way people want to help - donations, gift cards, etc. - would be great.

[PennRalphie]

82. Grocery store?

What grocery store in your area delivers? I really think you would get a quicker response asking for grocery store gift cards rather than cash that can’t be accounted for.

[mvd]

83. Giant delivers but delivery services like Instacart are very useful

Any way people want to help. I think I explained the donations but yes I put my e-mail for gift cards if people want to do that.

[mvd]

92. Good night all

Again I am so close to my goal. Would be a big help to meet it. But I like PennRalphie’s idea of gift cards if you want to do that instead. E-mail again is [email protected].

[demtenjeep]

94. HEY all If I send you an email addy will you send wallyworld cards so I can buy things

for my classroom and TP and paper towels

so I don't have to buy stuff

[Rhiannon12866]

95. Kicking for visibility!

And I donated the other day, too! Best of luck to you and Mom! hi:

[mvd]

96. Thank you so much!

We appreciate it a ton.

[mvd]

97. Added a list of what funds will be used for

Just for more clarity..

[PennRalphie]

100. Confusing

Mvd, when I first read all of your threads, I really felt Sorry for you. You’ve presented yourself as someone unable to work because of disabilities. You present your mother as someone unable to eat because there is no money. Your many GFMs have resulted in thousands and thousands of dollars of donations.

But here you are, claiming there has been zero progress changing your financial situation. I took the time to read through the many GREAT suggestions on social service agencies for you to contact. The good people here went to a lot of trouble to find those names and give them to you. Your response to suggestions is to thank them and then ask for more money.

I thought my grocery gift card idea would be welcomed by you with open arms. While you’ll accept gift cards, you would rather have cash.

Now, you’ve said you need $2,000. Don’t we all!! I was thinking $50 in grocery store gift cards would keep you and your mother from hunger.

I love to help people. Most people love helping others. People who make an honest effort to improve their situation will always gain the most from others.

I’m understanding the skepticism others have for your pleas. I’m sorry to feel this way, but reading all of your threads, contradicting each other, leads me to this conclusion. Good luck.

[mvd]

107. I don't quite understand what is contradicting

I did welcome the gift card idea. I put my e-mail down. I have listed steps I have taken. I have stated how it is particularly hard for us. I wish I could get a break from you.

Again, I do not know what I am expected to do to satisfy you. Unfortunately I can not just wave a wand and change everything in an instant.

[XanaDUer2]

98. Your mom goes to the hospital due to stress

Of not having money. How is she going to go through this every month? You admit this GFM is just to get through this month. Then what?

This is hard... I was close to my mother...but would she have better quality of life in a home?

Is it fair on her, this cyclic stress, every month...going in and out of the hospital because of money troubles? Some facilities take government funds. Can you talk to a social worker about this? She could be in a stable environment, at least. You said she almost fell down the stairs in your home because of the broken toilet going upstairs.

What about her quality of life? You said something about your dad's pension. At 73, your mom sure as heck earned some peace of mind, other than this living-on-the-edge-of-disaster life constantly, having no food, huge water bills, on and on.

It's untenable

[mvd]

99. You ask good questions. I want it to change for us so badly

A big GoFundMe would be great, but I don’t know if DU is the place for that. I am getting what I can.

I also have been trying to change things. She is resistant to change at her age and that happens. But I have made some progress. We want to avoid assisted living but I don’t think this house is the answer either.

It is posts like yours that are why I am so worried. There are no easy answers but we’ve got to try. I have a social worker coming. It is all heartbreaking.

[XanaDUer2]

101. A social worker should have been engaged months ago

You've got a 73-year-old, living in a house no longer affordable or maintainable, with dangerous stairs, AND NO FOOD.

And this is causing her multiple hospitalizations. I'm surprised no one at the hospital engaged a social worker with her during one of her visits. Mr X gets screened for any elder abuse whenever he sees a doctor. I get screened for domestic abuse at my gynecologist.

[PennRalphie]

102. Great point

Also, since Mom is on Medicare, after an ER Visit you must follow up with your primary care doctor. Medicare’s rules.

[XanaDUer2]

103. All my bills are badly timed

Wtaf?!

[PennRalphie]

104. Sorry meant to reply to OP.

I meant that mvd mother would be required to see a dr after er visit.

[XanaDUer2]

105. Absolutely

She needs followup. Someone asking what is going on at home causing these hospital visits. And questioned alone.

[demtenjeep]

185. as a madated reporter

I did my job!

[XanaDUer2]

186. Wow, I didn't even think about mandated reporting

We were not in our roles.

[demtenjeep]

191. I feel a mandated reporter is for both young and elderly

don't you think so?


If you are a reporter-you should too

[mvd]

106. They just send her home every time

Yes she follows up with the doctor. Often she has food but we had a problem this month. Caring people are the best for us. I haven’t said this much but mom has been hard to get to be receptive to change. But I think I am getting through.

[XanaDUer2]

110. Then maybe you should be honest with them

But your mother needs to tell a social worker, doctor, and psychiatrists that you all are sitting around with rumbling tummies because someone is dropping the ball. I know, I know,, donations.

Caring people?

You've gotten almost 11k ! But still there are serious problems persisting. You are avoiding food pantries. Great.

I'm embarrassed I, who is on a limited income, donated to you, like, five GFMs ago. I feel complicit in some sketchy shit.

[mvd]

111. I'm very sorry you feel that way

It doesn’t need to be this way. I have tried to explain. I feel for your situation and hope we both improve. I know it took a while but I didn’t even know where to start. I feel the advice has been extremely important. DU has been wonderful.

Food is usually not a problem but it was this month.

[PennRalphie]

116. Let's have an honest discussion.

When you visit an ER, they always ask the patient about their safety in their home. As you know, because of COVID protocols, visitors are often not permitted in the ER treatment rooms. If they are, the patient is always seen alone before inviting family members into the room. You said your Mother visits the ER because of stress from having no money. The ER would never release her without a social worker visiting her room, and signing her up for needed services. Please don’t try to claim the ER you visit doesn’t do this. They wouldn’t just give you a website to visit, they would have a plan in place. The fact that your Mother often visits ER’s would alert them to a potential serious situation at home. Then, the doctor she sees after each ER visit would also be aware of her stress from no money and sometimes no food.

The minute the ER heard she has no food, they would have a social worker set up a meals on wheels or similar program. Please don’t say that the ER your mother goes to is the only one in the US ignoring the needs of a hungry senior citizen.

So what’s really going on?

[XanaDUer2]

118. It took one call to the Senior resource center

To set up a MoW for Mr X. And now they deliver on weekends, thank God. I'm looking to maybe start myself so I have more than my daily peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich to eat. Cereal for dinner! It took, like 15 mins of questions for a daily meal.

Why, after all this time, is this not a thing? Why?!

[mvd]

119. That's actually not what happens with ours

We use Phoenixville Hospital. I have been allowed to visit and come in the room. The only thing is mask requirement. They check her out and mostly give advice on when to see the doctor and checking with her anxiety medication. They are not detailed in their notes. I could post a copy but that would be private info. They one time suggested a psychiatrist, who mom has tried.

[PennRalphie]

122. ?

She sees the triage nurse first. What does she say is the reason for the ER visit? Stress because of no money? Mvd, the ER staff is required to determine if your mother is safe at home. They’re not asking you. They have to ask her. You wouldn’t be in the room when they ask that.

Something isn’t adding up.

[WDLAL]

183. My elderly mother passed recently.

She had several ER visits before going on hospice. I always went into the rooms with her. The only times I wasn’t with her were the times that she was taken from her room for a test. I was present when they asked her if she felt safe at home. They asked me if her needs were being met, not her. They asked if we wanted to speak with a social worker. They never just came to the room.

People with Autism can be very high functioning. I don’t know any more about Matt’s situation than what I’ve read here, but fixation on a certain course of action is common.

I tend to think that Matt is being truthful. Obviously, he and his mother badly need the services of a social worker. If his parents have taken care of him his whole life, this seems a likely outcome of him now being in the role of caretaker.

[demtenjeep]

192. then there is this

Here are the previous GFMs you've posted.

There are discrepancies that have caught my and others' eye.

You offered to give hearts away to folks right after saying the electricity was going to be cut off, and now the water is going to be cut off.

Maybe put money like that toward your utilities?

Here are the previous GFMs for anyone interested:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215909861

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215946390

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216254697

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216659843

And then there is this month's GFM. As another poster pointed out, you still have a couple of the previous ones open.

[demtenjeep]

256. hope the IRS gets their cut

but I doubt it


what an income

[Hekate]

217. You are asking intelligent questions

It never adds up

[XanaDUer2]

127. My psychiatrist and I went through many sessions

To discern why I needed a daily tranquilizer for my anxiety. Lots of back and forth, my holistic situation to discern why I needed them. Along with mood stabilizers. He wasn't like Oh here's some alprazolam! Good luck! It's controlled and I had damn good reasons for it.

[demtenjeep]

120. it is just easy to get donors to give

and "if they want to give why not"

[PennRalphie]

125. It almost worked with me

I wanted to give him a food. gift card. I thought his elderly mother had no food! I thought, well five bucks
Won’t kill me.

Glad I took the time to read everything.

[ForgedCrank]

113. There is an answer,

and it is something you should have done many years ago.
I'm trying to be as nice as I can when I say these things while still relaying the unpleasant realities.
The disabilities you claim are not an excuse, you should have a bicycle or moped and a job by now as there are plenty of companies who hire persons with disabilities, even severe disabilities. One blind lady I help out makes 14 dollars an hour counting and bundling clothes hangers for packaging. She does the job and is able to get to work on time every single day on her own. In fact, she absolutely insists on doing it herself, not unlike all the the others I assist. The jobs are out there if one is willing to work and support themselves. That along with your mothers SS would cover your living expenses without issue.
Theres no other way to put this. You've done little to better your situation since you first posted GFM drives here a very long time ago. You have to understand, it's very difficult for anyone to believe you have communication issues so severe that you cannot work when you seem capable of communicating with anyone and everyone, except of course when it relates to getting a job.
I'm guessing if you were willing to work, there are probably DU members here who would personally get involved and help you navigate the process, but you ignore any and all such suggestions.
It isn't a matter of not caring as you have suggested on several occasions. Even in the face of all of the red flags here, DU members are still donating free cash to you in hopes that you turn a corner and fix this. Sadly, the cash is not helping you, it is only enabling you to continue this destructive path.

[dalton99a]

108. Dude, your mom seems to be a troublemaker. It is time for tough love. Give her an ultimatum

"Do what I say, or I'll kick you out of the house and I'll find myself a job!"

[mvd]

109. I actually like that

I love her so much and she has been a great mom but yeah it can be hard to get her to understand.

[Texasgal]

257. I don't know about you..

but if my Mom was hungry and I had NO money I would CRAWL to a food bank.

It also seems strange to me that you have not utilized all the info you have received here for utilities and other bills. Why haven't you done that?

DU is a great place, but it's not the place to pay your bills. I'm sorry. I hope you get some help, but this is not the place.

[demtenjeep]

258. this

+10000000000000000%

[mvd]

259. Well DU can decide to donate or not

I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t a cause that I felt needed help.

I have utilized the info. but sometimes it takes a while to get answers.

[Texasgal]

260. I did a GFM on DU once.

In the pet forum. I rescue and foster dogs. I had a beautiful old lab that desperately needed surgery in her hip. I raised 600.00 dollars of the 1200.00 that I had already found from private donations and city programs.

I was incredibly grateful. However, I would never continue to try and raise money for my rescues. It was a one-time situation for me. in the end this precious old girl lab was able to live to 17 years without pain.

I couldn't thank DU/Pets forum members enough for their generosity.

In your case I feel like you have no sense of DU's generosity, as you keep on with your fundraising. While a GFM can help someone who's on the edge, this is not a place to raise money consistently for your bills.

I implore you to look into other options that have been presented to you.

[LisaL]

133. I am pretty sure it mom's house.

NT

[demtenjeep]

137. maybe we should call mother and ask if she knows and condones of this stuff?

and maybe call elder care to make sure she is not being exploited?

[Scrivener7]

112. Would you tell us the total of DUs donations to your GFMs in the past 18 months?

[mvd]

114. It's over $10,000

Of course I know. I wish I did one big one. That is a regret I have.

[Scrivener7]

115. Can you tell us the actual amount?

[Maraya1969]

117. I have reported you to Gofundme and asked for my money back.

I've found out from others here, from PM's and on this thread that you do this a lot and that you do not have autism.

It's called fraud and you had better stop.

[mvd]

121. Huh, I don't know who you were asking

They have no idea if I have autism or not. There is nothing fraud about this and I would be willing to prove it.

[mvd]

128. I'm sorry but you are wrong

I have already responded to GoFundMe and will get this sorted out.

[demtenjeep]

129. huh?

questions.........

[demtenjeep]

130. pretty quick on the uptake that one.....

people with autism really wouldn't be that quick right?

[demtenjeep]

126. oh honey

these posts are all the details we need

[Para722]

131. Torch the Witch

This whole thread reminds me of the Torch the Witch debacle from years past. I’ve been a long time reader and this finally made me post.
If anyone remembers the Torch the Witch saga it will tell you how long I been reading, just not big on commenting

[XanaDUer2]

132. Ah yes, TTW

someone gave her a house to rent, IIRC. no good deed...

[Hekate]

231. We've been down this road before, haven't we?

[betsuni]

234. +1

[demtenjeep]

134. oh I remember that

GFM should not be a scam

they need to make it so not everyone can just do them over and over and over

[XanaDUer2]

135. I'd buy you some gift cards if I could

[demtenjeep]

138. oh you don't need to do that!

but thank you for the thought~

[betsuni]

194. Oh, forgot about The Tale of Torch the Witch.

That was sadly entertaining fiction.

[demtenjeep]

139. maybe it is time for this

https://www.aging.pa.gov/aging-services/Pages/Report-Elder-Abuse.aspx



Report Elder Abuse
24 Hour Hotline - 1-800-490-8505Opens In A New Window
Abuse reports can be made on behalf of an older adult whether the person lives in their home or in a care facility such as a nursing facility, personal care home, hospital, etc. The reporters may remain anonymous and have legal protection from retaliation, discrimination and civil or criminal prosecution.

Common signs and symptoms of abuse may include:

Isolation
Weight loss
Bruises or broken bones
Increased confusion
Unusual withdrawals from any account
Signing over one’s home to another

[demtenjeep]

142. it is very easy

and anonymous

the people are very friendly and really interested in protecting the elderly.

[mvd]

140. From Matthew's mother

I should have posted before this, as I feel my son has been harassed by people on here. You know nothing about him nor me and have caused him much stress with your misinformed judgments. Matthew is the sweetest most innocent person and I am livid that he has to go through this. Since my husband died, I take care of him because he is on the spectrum. I think I know more than some anonymous posters on here. I hate to have to dignify this but I felt this needed a response. Now someone has contacted GoFundMe, a completely uninformed person who knows nothing about us and we now have to clear this up. My son does not deserve this extra stress. My son has been a member for over 20 years and is a good standing member of DU. My son has responded to GoFundMe and so have I, and I would ask for an apology from the person who complained. Again I am sorry that my son has had to dignify this. I told him to ignore it but he felt the need to explain. I am sure GoFundMe will clear this up.

Donna DuBois

[demtenjeep]

141. Matt matt matt

we know this isn't your mom .


it's okay to get scared when the game is up

[Firehawk]

143. Are you effing kidding us

Your mom writes a lot like you. Same syntax and everything.

And, in the remote chance this is your mom, then you have absolutely no shame.

Looks like the grift is up.

[mvd]

150. She doesn't type well on the iPad

These are her thoughts that I put helped down. There is no grift, I repeat.

[MissB]

153. Hopefully social services will reach out directly to her

And get this straightened out and provide her with the help she needs. I won’t be surprised if it results in her needing to go to a care home for her own protection and support. Since several folks have already called social services, I’d expect the social worker to start looking into things this week. Usually a case is assigned pretty quickly if there are immediate needs like she seems to have.

At this point, I don’t think your go fund me is going to be successful here. You need a lot more help in your lives than some cash from a go fund me can provide.

[demtenjeep]

155. :)

wow

[mvd]

151. This was written by my mom and I rewrote it for her

Because she can’t type. Simple.

[demtenjeep]

204. hey matt's mommy do you know he is getting rid of your stuff? when things start missing it's

not good -usually for nefarious reasons



Quote
mvd (64,316 posts)

20. No kidding

It has taken forever.

I don’t feel bad about the Uber friend. I have given him more than I can afford for next month. Plus a free vacuum, freezer, smart watch and my old iPad.

[MissB]

144. Someone could call adult protective services for his mother

It doesn’t have to be him. It could be anyone in this thread that has figured out enough info to call adult protective services and notes that this woman is not in a good position and needs extra help.

[demtenjeep]

145. done

it is very easy

[MissB]

146. Well done

I hope she gets the help she needs. Clearly intervention by social services may be needed here.

[ForgedCrank]

149. This really is

all a shame.
I really wanted to help him, but I'm pretty sure since I suggested working, he has me on ignore.
I don't think he's scamming, I think he's just afraid to step out on his own and get started. He did say he was on his 40's and has never worked, it's probably a bit scary and he needs help getting over that hump. It is, however, his only viable path.
I'd really like to be able to assist the guy, but he appears to be allergic to help.

[XanaDUer2]

152. It's a shame he wasn't officially diagnosed

Years ago. That would help enormously with a disability claim, so there's some income coming in for him alone.

[LisaL]

163. If he has autism, it's clearly

not severe, since he is obviously verbal and can write well. I am not sure how it would qualify someone for a disability.
Supposedly even Einstein was on the spectrum.

[XanaDUer2]

166. Definitely time for a free consultation

With an ssdi expert to sort this all out. They won't take cases they deem unwinnable. Maybe meet with a couple of them for a broader set of opinions.

If that's not viable, then job training. He seems super smart.

[LisaL]

158. Living off gofundme donations doesn't appear to be a viable plan.

What happens when mother dies? Right now they seemed to be living on mother's Social Security.
Which doesn't appear to be enough for the two of them, but it doesn't appear they are able to manage the money well, so how much is going to be enough?

[XanaDUer2]

167. I thought he said the dad had a pension.

Either way, it would all stop with the mom. Mr X has one, I'm the beneficiary, but once I kick it, I cannot pass it on like a legacy.

[LisaL]

169. Yep. If dad had a pension, it's not going to be transferred to son if mother dies.

As far as I can tell.

[XanaDUer2]

170. Yeah

When I start my eternal dirt nap, it's over.

Its a defined-benefit, too, thank God

[XanaDUer2]

147. Not having food

Is a big deal. Wth kind of health staff are not probing into multiple ER visits in a short time.?

Boggling. I've worked in several hospitals, with many social workers, and this was their job with the frail and elderly

[likesmountains 52]

181. Exactly.

[Sympthsical]

195. As someone who once worked in social services

And who also offered advice that was ignored. I have an inkling and a guess on how a case worker visit will go. Just a sense that I've been getting:

The mother has no idea any of this is going on, and someone arriving at the door with all of this would be a total shock to her. Which is why all the potential solutions are getting batted down.

I'd lay an even $5 on it, having read the saga (it's weirdly addictive).

However, if there is veracity in these claims - three hospital visits in a month, no food, declining health - I'm with you. 1. I'm surprised a hospital social worker isn't poking around and 2. a home visit by a case worker would be warranted.

Even if everything is 100% true, a call to adult and aging services would be warranted just to have an outside party there to sort everything out and provide paths to resources. We can give all the advice and links to resources in the world, but that advice and guidance is being filtered through a family member who is adversarial to following through on them. I have some doubt that the mother is aware of even a tenth of the resources others have suggested. If the son has no intention of utilizing them, why would he tell the mother about them?

If this is all true - big if - we may be seeing a situation where the son is prohibiting the mother from receiving proper care, resources, and guidance for her situation.

And that would warrant a call to social services.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

148. 🦆🦆🦆🟰🦆

[LuckyCharms]

154. Rough crowd.

My personal philosophy on stuff like this is as follows:

If I want to donate, then I donate. If I don't want to donate, then I don't donate.

I sometimes don't succeed at his, but I try not to get wrapped up in someone else's shit if I think they may be a scammer. Because...I may be wrong, no matter how right I *think* I am.

The way I handle that is to not donate, and simply move onto the next thing.

Not saying anyone else has to have this philosophy, just stating my own opinion here.

[MissB]

156. It unfortunately appears to have crossed a line

Last edited Sun Sep 11, 2022, 06:27 PM - Edit history (1)

I agree that folks can donate or not, for sure.

So many GFMs started from the same poster, with zero attempt to accept help that may actually result in an improved situation.

Now there is concern that the OP’s mother may not be getting the help that she needs.

The admins should really shut this one down.

[demtenjeep]

180. aw sorry-this isn't directed at MissB

Last edited Sun Sep 11, 2022, 07:12 PM - Edit history (1)

not directed at MissB



24. Here are the previous GFMs you've posted.

There are discrepancies that have caught my and others' eye.

You offered to give hearts away to folks right after saying the electricity was going to be cut off, and now the water is going to be cut off.

Maybe put money like that toward your utilities?

Here are the previous GFMs for anyone interested:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215909861

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215946390

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216254697

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216659843

And then there is this month's GFM. As another poster pointed out, you still have a couple of the previous ones open.

[LisaL]

157. I feel like the administration of the site should do vetting before allowing

people to start multiple gofundsme.
Posters here usually can't vet, and if they donate, I presume it's because they believe the situation to be as described by the posters.

[LuckyCharms]

161. I understand and appreciate your opinion, but my opinion is that

it seems that the admins have made a decision to allow GFMs on this site, and it is up to site members to decide whether the GFM is legit.

I think it would be unreasonable to ask the administration of this site to vet and perform due diligence on every single GFM. That's up to the person who may or may not want to donate.

I think some assumptions are being made about this particular GFM that may be true, or may not be true.

If you start calling regulatory agencies on an assumption you have made, and on the off chance you are wrong, you could put a serious hurt on someone unnecessarily.

I prefer to default to staying away from accusations, and just move on if something doesn't feel right to me.

[LisaL]

164. It's not really an assumption since OP claims that his mother,

a sickly old woman, has no money for food-if you believe the OP.
Seems like that should be enough for a call to regulatory agencies, no?

[Sympthsical]

196. Involving a case worker is not a bad idea

Taking the totality of the situation, it has grown to start pinging my own sense of NQR (not quite right). I'm not there, I don't know these people, I am loathe to say anything with certainty about strangers from afar.

However.

The poster is offering information that has reached a point where a wellness check by an adult and aging case worker seems warranted. Multiple hospital visits in a month, no food, poor health. Remove the son from the scenario. If my mother was going through this and I wasn't involved for whatever reason, I'd want someone to come ensure she was at least eating.

A case worker wouldn't arrive, take someone away, put the mother in a home, etc. It's not like child services where they'd disrupt their lives. They'd do an evaluation and then lay out the different assistance programs she would qualify for and help her through the process of applying for and accessing them. There are organizations that will either deliver food or provide transportation for food. Further, that worker would speak to the mother away from the son in order to get the story from her without his interference and input. Right now, we have this middle man who is filtering her situation through his own. There is concern in my mind from what is written (assuming true) that the son is actively preventing assistance from occurring.

I don't think this would be an idle, frivolous intervention out of malice. If this story is true - if - then I think an older citizen is being neglected. It's practically being advertised at this point, and it's sitting less and less well with me that its being laid out there so cavalierly.

I promise if a story like this had crossed my path when I was still working in social services, I would have made calls by now and set up a visit to provide resources. A 73 year old with no food and ill health deserves assistance. It is what social services are designed to provide.

The refusing to work fortysomething is a different matter I leave up to the judgement of others.

[LuckyCharms]

199. Fair point. However...

If internet posters are really and truly that concerned about this situation, or if they are wondering if this is a scam, perhaps a private message to the OP would be in order, asking for his phone number, and maybe even asking to personally to speak to his mother in order to better assess this situation.

At that point, the person who has decided to get involved here could make a better assessment, offer suggestions, and follow up vocally with the OP and his mom every day or so, before taking the step of getting them involved in the social or legal system.

All of this should be done in a more thoughtful and quiet manner, UNTIL the people impotently chewing on this online are willing to get their own skin involved and either:

a) Call social services without stating that they have done so on a public message board, or

b) Be willing to file a police report and perhaps help authorities with providing evidence to a potential scam.

Instead, what we have here, is people riding this guy's ass six ways to Sunday, on a public message board. While that criticism may be warranted, it also may not be warranted.

If people want to play internet super hero, there's ways of doing that quietly, somberly, and with the respect that this matter deserves.

[Sympthsical]

201. That's why I personally would do nothing

I don't know these people, I'm not personally involved. I have enough going on without someone's internet mess. However, I get the idea others are more knowledgeable about everything. I just wanted to make it clear that in my (formerly) professional opinion, a case worker could be contacted in good conscience to ensure the mother's health and well-being. If someone does have means to speak with the mother to ensure her safety and support, I recommend it.

The only reason I'm piping up is because I noticed these threads through the sheer size of them and it piqued my interest as a former social services person who has experience in these issues. Outside of that, nope. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I already gave advice once about available services and was rebuffed/obfuscated. These latest descriptions of the situation are concerning. After months of advice, resource seeking, and cash infusions, if the mother is still going to the hospital and going to bed hungry, I feel like an outside party is better positioned to ensure her welfare.

It's the NQR thing. Something's off about the repeated refusal for help via social and other services. People don't willingly go to bed hungry when there are people and resources within reach. If I were in the local office and in the position, I'd remove the son from the equation and deal directly with the mother's welfare. I highly suspect she would have food that day.

The fact that that's (allegedly) not been happening for months is why I decided to say something. But, this is probably the end of my bit about it.

[mvd]

159. Exactly

There is a genuine need and I can’t force people to donate. I know DU has been hurt before but I am not lying about my situation. If they don’t like it, that’s one thing, but these accusations are terrible.

[LisaL]

160. Last time you said the water was going to be shut off?

Did that happen?

[mvd]

162. No, I paid it with the GoFundMe funds

They went to the purposes I said.

[demmiblue]

165. Amen, LuckyCharms.

There are a few who are downright gleeful in their attacks (and using right-wing tropes), including one who has solicited for donations on DU previously. Imagine posting to this thread all day and into the wee hours of the night because they simply can't.let.it.go.

[mvd]

168. My mom was just feeling better when this happened

It is really a shame.

[Hekate]

294. Guilt is deployed

Whoosh

[mvd]

295. Those feelings were real

Even if people don’t want to donate due to how much I have asked, they can at least sympathize. It is NOT easy to change our situation. So far the steps have helped more with managing the situation more than changing it. But I am thinking positively. I am going in the right direction. I can’t put into words how wonderful DU has been. The storm here doesn’t change that fact.

[Hekate]

296. I know a guilt trip when I see it

[Marthe48]

172. I came across a post from O.P. last month

I opted not to donate, or comment.

[Pathwalker]

171. I still remember Andy Stephenson and what happened to him.

Just saying. This thread makes my stomach hurt.

[LisaL]

173. What happened to Andy Stephenson and how is it connected to this thread?

NT

[demtenjeep]

174. no connection at all

andy Stephenson had a real need

[Para722]

175. Stephenson

Back before Gofundme he was doxxed for fraud, the only problem and big difference with this case was he had multiple people who were involved with him personally to verify that his cancer was real. If my memory serves me he had surgery at John Hopkins and his cancer took him shortly after. I may be wrong trying to shake out cobwebs

[LisaL]

177. I googled.

He got surgery but died some time later from complications from it. Pancreatic cancer is hard to beat.

"It was a remarkable achievement and a real testament to the power of Stephenson’s activism. Johns Hopkins professor of surgery Dr. Charles Yeo says he performed a Whipple procedure—sometimes called the “Olympics” of surgery because of its duration and difficulty—for treatment of Stephenson’s pancreatic cancer at Johns Hopkins Hospital on Thursday, May 26. The surgeon removed a “golf-ball-sized tumor” from Stephenson’s pancreas, according to Johnson. Stephenson came back to Seattle to recover and prepare for his oncology treatment. Says Johnson, “He needs chemo and radiation probably.”"

https://www.seattleweekly.com/news/cancerous-campaign/

[Pathwalker]

182. His surgery was delayed for months because of those accusations.

Taking time he did not have. Bev Harris was his accuser and a lot of DUers believed her at the time.

[LisaL]

184. It couldn't have been delayed for months.

He had surgery less than a month after fundraiser started.
https://www.seattleweekly.com/news/cancerous-campaign/

[XanaDUer2]

176. Which reminds me

Have you learned what your SSDI payment amount will be yet? I'd definitely talk to someone soon. You'll need to plan.

[LisaL]

178. He didn't get SSDI.

NT

[XanaDUer2]

179. no, mvd and I've discussed this before

After he consults, for free, with a (some) SSDI attorneys, they may take his case. But he needs to know what amount he'll receive monthly, if he wins, so he has enough for, hopefully, low-rent housing, utilities, etc. I don't know the payment for someone without a work history. We're without a robust social-safety net, so it might be low.

I got statements from SS with my amount, so I and Mr X could plan a budget.

[mvd]

189. Per mom's advice, not responding as much

But I am upset that mom felt better than she has in a while before this lie happened. I still love DU. Most care and understand. Will post again tomorrow.

[demtenjeep]

193. what lie happened?

please clarify?

[XanaDUer2]

200. It's illustrative why your mom's

Mental-and-physical health should not be contingent on something as capricious as Go Fund Mes.

Now she's upset. What if this leads to another ER visit?

[mvd]

197. GoFundMe is so slow

I put in my request but they don’t work on the weekends and hopefully today I get this straightened out. It is ridiculous and caused us much unneeded stress.

[demtenjeep]

198. But you said you talked to them yesterday

Questions?

[demtenjeep]

210. have you filled out your 1099-K form? The IRS will want to know this

Gofundme taxable
The crowdfunding website or its payment processor may be required to report distributions of money raised if the amount distributed meets certain reporting thresholds by filing Form 1099-K, Payment Card and Third Party Network Transactions, with the IRS

[Scrivener7]

202. Can you tell us if you've gotten a case worker for your mom? They can make sure her needs are met.

[demtenjeep]

203. good evening. How is everyone tonight?

just checking in

[demmiblue]

215. ...

[mvd]

205. Everything was cleared up with GoFundMe and..

the one donor got her refund, so everything is good. I am closer to my goal, but someone sent a wonderful gift card for food, and I can’t stress how great an idea that was. It helps equally.

[demtenjeep]

209. ....

how much was the gift card?



We've received your claim
One of our team members will review your claim within the next two business days and reply to the email address you included. Thanks so much for your patience.

[demtenjeep]

220. have you filled out your 1099-k form

The IRS doesn't take kindly to getting stiffed on their money

[PennRalphie]

218. How's your mother?

I think many are worried about her. Did she have a good nutritious dinner today?

[mvd]

221. Yes and thank you!

She is doing better again and thanks to your gift card idea we won't be worried about food. I can focus more on bills and medicine and other things now.

[PennRalphie]

222. I didn't send you anything

At first I thought about sending you a gift card. But after reading the previous posts of yours, I decided I would be wrong to send you anything

Your mother obviously needs help. You keep taking her to the ER because you don’t have money or food.

Or so you say.

I’m doubting everything you say

I know for a fact you have just lied. I did not send you anything.

I really hope the social worker you claimed was coming to visit your mother makes it to her.

[mvd]

224. I meant someone did send one

And that is thanks to your idea. You misunderstood. You in fact did not send anything. The social worker is scheduled as said.

[PennRalphie]

226. My musinderstanding

You did say my idea not my gift card.

So. With the new gift card, what did your mother have for dinner?

The people here are WORRIED about her. She’s elderly and not getting enough food, causing you to Uber her to the ER.

[mvd]

228. We got the card tonight and have a nice order for tomorrow coming

At least this is not a worry now.

[demtenjeep]

242. Instacart

Again?

What did you order

[XanaDUer2]

243. Instacart is expensive as hell

We finally had to break down and use it when we had COVID. too much money.

[ForgedCrank]

244. I have to

say, as someone living on a relatively tight budget, I have to go through extra efforts to stretch every single penny as far as it will reach. Using something like a food shopping service would reduce the buying power of each dollar dramatically. This wanton waste and inefficiency is almost making my eye twitch. All I can think of is the extra food that could have been bought with that wasted service fee. It's downright astounding watching this all unfold in real-time with little or no self-awareness or effort to correct for it.

[XanaDUer2]

245. My stomach hurt when I saw the surcharges

Back to el cheapo Food Lion products double masked.

[highplainsdem]

247. It isn't just the delivery cost. Each item's cost is higher than the store cost. I

read that it's typically 15-20% higher per item. Instacart says the stores set that price, but whoever sets it, that's more money lost using Instacart.

[XanaDUer2]

248. Oh shit

Well, a better-off relative was paying for our grocery deliveries, thank God. They said not to worry.. I hated Instacart. Busy interface, windows popping up, 'sponsored' products listed first...there was one online coupon. Big woo.

[PennRalphie]

225. What did your mother have for dinner?

[mvd]

227. Eggs and toast tonight

Me, too. Eggs are always nutritious and handy.

[PennRalphie]

230. What about her food stamps?

In one of your earlier threads, you told everyone that your mother receives food stamps. Did you use all of that funding before you started this thread? You needed money urgently because of food insecurity.

Thanks to demtenjeep, who posted those previous threads, I took the time to read through them.

You’ve said a lot of things that maybe you forgot you’ve said.

[mvd]

232. The EBT was late this month

And we can use those also but food prices still make us struggle. Which makes the gift card a good idea.

That is all for tonight. Night all

[demtenjeep]

236. EBT is never late

Last edited Tue Sep 13, 2022, 11:01 AM - Edit history (1)

Ever

All these stories do not make sense

When lies can’t be kept straight it’s an issue

[XanaDUer2]

238. It's never late is right

[Para722]

240. EBT

It’s clockwork, every month on time. Some states are still doing Covid bumps to peoples amounts.
It can’t be late it’s a card. Only way that happens if whole state has an oops and that news level issues.

[demtenjeep]

241. Food prices are a struggle

For everyone

[XanaDUer2]

237. Are you telling your mom about all these resources?

She really needs social workers.

[PennRalphie]

239. There is no news story about PA EBT late this month.

How late was it? You should contact the local news stations. They would investigate why EBT was late this month.

When is the social worker scheduled? They will assist your mother with her immediate needs, such as food and medicine.

[mvd]

246. The 13th

It came today. That will also help. Social worker coming later this week and she’ll be happy about the food. Perhaps another thread would be better for my daily life though.

There is a second $95 EBT payment later this month..

[demtenjeep]

249. I just don't believe all this

You said last time you asked for $$$ a social worker was coming

Please just tell us the truth

[mvd]

250. I would just close this now but reality want to meet the goal

So leaving open for a little bit. Next month will hopefully be different but even if still problems, there will be no GoFundMe. I reused this one now because thought a new one would make things worse. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t have other plans going. Be back tonight as I want to do my other posting here at DU as I always did before these times of need.

[XanaDUer2]

251. DO you have other plans going?

I don't understand 😕

[demtenjeep]

252. Done dried up

.

[mvd]

261. Night all

The food insecurity is gone now and we have needs like paper and some pharmaceuticals. For those wondering, food insecurity is rare for us but it happened this time. It is still a long time until mom’s social security and we have doctors visits and I have a broken CPAP mask (I have severe sleep apnea) that could be useless at any moment - and I keep putting off even more dental work that would cost something even with a Medicaid dentist. I assure you after I reach the goal I will close the fundraiser and will continue more with all the ideas presented.

[XanaDUer2]

262. Your mom does not look well in the pictures you've

Put up. Are you really getting a social worker?

Get your paper products from a pantry. You're minting money here.

I have dental work I'm putting off. I don't have Medicaid.

When I reach the goal, the goal, the goal...

[MissB]

263. I highly recommend that you forget about the "fundraiser"

And concentrate on the ideas presented instead.

Find other options to Uber and Instacart and you’ll be able to use *your* cash for things like a CPAP mask and whatever dentist you choose. *Your* money, not your mom’s social security. You are an adult and her social security should be used for her needs.

Whether you “reach the goal” or not, additional fundraisers on this site are likely to end up with hundreds of posts pointing out the $10k plus cash already provided to you in previous Go Fund Me attempts. It doesn’t matter if you use an old GFM or a new GFM; you’ve very likely burned down the GFM bridge here.

But you’ve been given a great deal of advice and links to local resources. It’s now on you to make things happen for you by using those local resources. I’m sure the social worker will make sure that your mother does not experience food insecurity.

[question everything]

266. Previous threads were full of specific advices

Links, phone numbers, scans of assistance- all located in his state. Yet he ignored all and continues to come here and, apparently has been successful.

[Ocelot II]

270. I did the same thing, and most of the results weren't for Matthew -

they listed everyone with the same surname. The one with the rocket doesn't even look like the same guy. I agree that this whole business seems sketchy but I really doubt he's behind 63 Gofundme appeals.

[XanaDUer2]

271. Yeah, that's like Bond-villian

Conspiracy stuff.

I've come to believe this one is sketchy.

[demtenjeep]

275. what am I missing?

I don't see it

[XanaDUer2]

276. Self-deleted by author nt

[Niagara]

272. There is a separate Matthew Dubois living in

Leavenworth, Kansas or in that general area. Not the same person at all.




:https://fox4kc.com/news/leavenworth-men-reunite-storm-chaser-with-rocket-launched-into-tornado/|

[Ptah]

274. It would be helpful if you deleted this.

[demmiblue]

277. The obsession is really off the charts.

Especially by the tag team.

[Ptah]

278. Best train wreck / soap opera / mosh pit in years.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

280. We are now entering "Olive Garden", "corn flake fried chicken", "shopping cart coral" territory!

Like kudzu, we’re going places!

[Ptah]

281. Door buzzard!

[Floyd R. Turbo]

282. 😁

[Scrivener7]

285. Except there's an unwell woman not getting food in this one, and nothing has

changed that situation in 18 months of GFM threads.

I'm glad to read the report that the social worker has finally entered the picture.

[Hekate]

288. But do we have confirmation of anything? At some point some concerned DUer is going to...

….attempt a meeting to deliver aid and comfort in person. They will do this in all sincerity. They should probably take a friend along.

I cannot predict the outcome — but there is a sad history at DU of certain persons taking advantage of the good-heartedness of the community, right up until it all falls apart. One involved attempted delivery of a laptop so the person could communicate with the world more effectively. One involved an attempt to shelter someone’s dear darling doggie for awhile so the owner could get on their feet — an animal that turned out to be huge and vicious. I mean, these were long, long sagas. And the sympathy and donations continued right up until someone attempted to intervene in real life.

Yes, I am concerned. Am I a “concern troll”? No, I am a 20-year member of DU.

All the best to everyone. I mean it.

[Scrivener7]

289. No. We don't. But that makes it even less humorous.

[XanaDUer2]

293. Life can show us many amusing things

This ain't one of them

[mvd]

279. I got the social worker over today

She was happy about the food. Concerned about our ability to take care of each other. Like me, worried about mom’s stress level. She is going to do more check ins and see what else is available for us. Even getting to my goal would make a big difference this month.

[Hekate]

284. You need to set different goals. Do you understand that? GFM is not sustainable; it's not forever.nt

[mvd]

287. I understand that

I am just trying to reach this goal which I feel is important. The whole idea of having people like the social worker is trying to end this cycle. Even if I did have more trouble, after all of this there is no way another GFM would be doable. Plus, I wouldn’t put one anyway.

[MissB]

290. You are 95% to your goal

And that’s likely as good as it gets.

[Hekate]

292. Again and again and again, the goal is reached. See history...

From this thread

229. How many DUers are still out there that are willing to give money, never bothering

to read comments that shed the light on this scam?

Started last September

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215909861

In October he reached his goal

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215946390

Not yet, new year now in January

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216254697

And in April

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181653807

And in May

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216659843

And so it goes.

No, I did not donate. By the time I found one of the earlier one I read all the comments about suggestions that go no where and, yes, a list of the never ending GFM.

Oh, on edit, he reached his goal in July

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181683562

and so it goes

**************************

[Floyd R. Turbo]

300. 🍭🍭🍭🍭❗️

[mvd]

283. Kick for the night

[mvd]

297. Why the goal is important

- temporary transportation to an important doctor’s appointment for my mom Monday and transportation until the 28th

- haven’t made much progress on rides yet. But trying

- Uber and Lyft gift cards are also useful at this time

I want to close this but feel these matters are important.

[MissB]

298. Reach out to the social worker that came by and see about transportation

The $105 that you’re short isn’t going to get you there, frankly.

Use the previous resources on your previous thread for local transportation options. I think you’ve gotten as much as you will get from your various Go Fund Me appeals, because no matter what the need seems to be, folks are realizing it isn’t enough. It just never is.

And it’ll never be. You simply have to shift over to other resources and stop asking for cash. Folks are generous, but they seem to be done giving.

[XanaDUer2]

299. Did you reach out to local places of worship

For volunteer rides? Our local Episcopalian Church has retirees who will drive people to doctors' appointments.

[mvd]

301. I'm leaving this open just a few more days, unless I reach my goal

If goal met, would just close the thread. We still really could use that little extra to help get through.

[Omaha Steve]

305. I hope you have enough food for the weekend?

I'm not sure you do.

[mvd]

306. Hi OS

Yes, no worries about food at least. One of my big donors from the past sent a wonderful gift card to help.

[Kaleva]

302. IMHO, your mother needs a responsible adult to care for her

Reading all the threads you've started on this matter leads me to believe you may not be up to the task, despite your best efforts.

[mvd]

308. The social worker was worried and so am I

Our friends can’t make up for it. You are right that we need more people.

[Dorian Gray]

303. I work in the Non-Profit sector

this post has a lot of red flags.

If your situation is exactly how you describe, I am sorry that you are suffering anxiety about food insecurity. But there still is a reluctance to use resources (food pantries etc.) that exist to help in this situation. Red Flag #1.

Every question is met with an explanation or insistence of reaching goal. Red Flag #2

The poster has repeatedly asked for money in an emergency situation. Red Flag #3


DU should consider limiting Go Fund Me requests per poster. Make a rule about the number they are allowed to post every year/quarter whatever.

[mvd]

307. I have answered questions

I am staying out of the drama because it just isn’t helpful to me right now.

All of them are emergencies - no dishonesty. If people don’t like the number of times that is one thing, but there has been sincere need.

I have been losing the reluctance but I don’t think the food insecurity I had will be happening again. If it does, I will go. I had food and a multitude of other problems this month.

[mvd]

309. Before I get off

I am not exaggerating when I say how important it is that mom has transportation right now - to get to the doctor, to get her necessary anxiety medication, etc. It is the only reason I am keeping this thread up. The goal isn’t just some thing I am using - and a few small donations could get me there.

[ForgedCrank]

310. You've been

pointed to resources already (multiple times) for free rides in your area for medical visits. I believe almost a week ago in this latest thread. Based on your newest post, I'm guessing you made zero calls to set that up, am I right?
You can also get setup and have medications mailed to your mother, no 30 dollar uber ride required for that either.
Doing these things is how you help your mother.

[Para722]

311. Logisticare

If your mom has Medicaid she qualifies for Logisticare
It’s a free transport service covered by Medicaid that handles transport to and from doctors offices and even brings people home from ER visits.
I’m sure the social worker can tell you how to enroll it’s easy. It does involve patience in waiting to be picked up and also may involve leaving early to make apppointmemt times

[mvd]

312. Weekend kick

Trying to remain positive about our hard situation.

[mvd]

313. Keeping this open at least one more day

I thank everyone tremendously for all the help and we still are in need. Mom’s still having a very rough time but I don’t want people to think I am playing on their emotions. It is just true unfortunately.

[mvd]

314. I'm closing the thread now

Someone so very nicely sent an Uber gift card which solved our main problem. So very grateful for everything.