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Related: Culture Forums, Support Forumsi had a difficult dad.
ok, so, for starters, i'm my father's daughter in ways big and small.
someday i'll write my story, but i long ago wrote the 1st line-
to my mother's everlasting chagrin, my father infected me at an early age w the ability to believe in dreams.
i was 17 when he died, and if you had asked, i'd have told you i hated his guts. the grief that hit me, shocked me. i had no idea where the tears came from.
i walked in that haze into and out of my 1st marriage.
i credited him for the gifts he gave me, sure. i can tell a story or a joke. i can sell everything but myself.
and as long as i dont drink as much as he did, i'm good.
other than that, i didnt give him a lot of thought.
until i started my farm.
i had to admit that i had him to thank for the skill set that was everything i needed to build this. i had been his garden buddy. he did the heavy stuff, like dig holes. i did the stoop work, planting tiny seeds and little plants.
i carried that with me all my life.
but it wasnt until José Agustín Donoso made this little film as a grad school project that i finally got on the path of reconciling it all. i thought i was talking about dirt and chickens and heirloom veggies, but he heard the story of my da.
i did a bit too much navel gazing in 2020.
for complicated reasons a lot of old memories surfaced. many of him. like me, knee high, standing on a chair next to the stove, burner on, and he's explaining atomic absorption spectra. he put coins on the burners and tossed salt and baking soda in the fire to show my how those thing all have a different color glow.
and his hugs when he came in from a sales trip- smelling of cigarettes and booze and sweat, rubbing his 3 day stubble on my cheek.
and the stories of his pet squirrels.
and like i say in the film, i wish you were here to sit in my garden w me, da.
https://vimeo.com/328992710/c970477ceb?fbclid=IwAR2ifAXYuXINDFW5ITfOhGOMmStjhJmT8eQQ6s-qMlfXYM7_UfKpEAbP06o
elleng
(130,757 posts)babylonsister
(171,035 posts)this is a damn fine tribute all by itself.
bikeboy
(124 posts)I'd love to meet her, salt of the earth... As a dad, it brings a tear to eye. Gardens are powerful teachers and partners for life.
mopinko
(70,023 posts)i try to extend that grace to others in hopes of receiving it myself.
and if you're ever in chicago, i'm always happy to give the nickel tour.
I'll most definitely look you up, I would love the nickle tour!
tell me about your butcher arrangement? are you trading for meat? or what do you pay for processing? how cool to have that option - in an urban environment, no less! I have a couple of large animal processors around but nothing for poultry that I know of. I have done turkeys and chickens on a small scale but generally not worth it to me. I just buy them at the store and keep the live hens for eggs (and food waste recycling).
mopinko
(70,023 posts)it's $3 a bird and takes about 10 minutes. it's halal, yet.
there are a few live poultry places here, but most wont do outside birds. this place is a hike from me, but it's a great hood to visit. usually hit the taco place next door while they do them.
i've done my own, esp roosters, as the pelts are worth a few bucks. one of these days imma start stuffing them. so far i havent found the right forms, and i'm too lazy to make my own.
Kali
(55,004 posts)long time) I like the skin too much, I think, but that sure would be easier than hand plucking!
and i hear ya, but yeah, no. plucked one once. done.
Gidney N Cloyd
(19,824 posts)2naSalit
(86,335 posts)The garden is so beautiful and that STOVE!!! OMG, I would die for that stove! It would take up half my apartment but, oh!
mopinko
(70,023 posts)it's an old, double oven, 6 burner w a flat top vulcan.
kitchen is in the bsmt, built by me and an old friend.
it was kinda fun to see the garden here. that was 4 yrs ago, and much has changed.
2naSalit
(86,335 posts)A couple stoves like that, they were gas or propane. Up here in Jellystone country the old lodges and ranches had some of the most glorious old cook stoves, some of which have been purchased by restaurateurs for whom I have worked. I was not a cook when I moved here but I became one soon after I arrived. It's a surefire survival job, especially in winter, you'll never starve.
Now I'm retired and have no garden space. I have a porch so that's getting planted today, not the same but I have to grow something... that the deer and rabbits won't eat.
erronis
(15,185 posts)mopinko
(70,023 posts)it was chosen to be shown in several of the chicago movies in the parks.
they show a hollywood movie, but they show local shorts, too.
he did a great job. i'm close to both northwestern and loyola and have attracted my share of student writers. this guy was the best. we talked for hours and hours and hours.
cilla4progress
(24,718 posts)Sounds like must watch /read!
tblue37
(65,227 posts)larger white dog.)
And is that your family, or a group of friends?
I love your garden. It makes me crave freshly picked produce. My dad was also an avid gardner. Mom, too, but not as avid as Dad.
mopinko
(70,023 posts)side note- biff is named after a boxer i had as a kid.
he was the only dog my da ever had, despite his love of animals. he belonged to a business associate of da's who took a job in manhattan, and couldnt take the dog. this made zero sense to da, but it was the hook he needed to talk mom into it.
he had a mantle full of trophies, starting as a pup. 120 lbs of breed standard perfection. and a trouble making clown. the exact right temperament.
he was 4 when we got him. sadly got cancer only 2 yrs later. i cried for months.
biff is a victorian bulldogge, a cross of english and german bred boxers. best dog ever.
tblue37
(65,227 posts)Wild blueberry
(6,617 posts)Thank you very much for sharing this with us.
Joinfortmill
(14,395 posts)Hekate
(90,564 posts)ReluctanceTango
(219 posts)You didn't have a difficult dad. You had an imperfect dad. A human dad. But a dad.
A lot of us out here would have loved to have had your dad. We didn't. We had dads who did nothing but cause pain for us, every day of our lives. We have dads that we hate to the day they die, to the day we will die, and that we will even hate after we're dead.
They were that awful of people. Some of them, they weren't even human. They were complete monsters.
You were spared that. Be grateful you were.
mopinko
(70,023 posts)mahina
(17,622 posts)Aloha 🤙🏼🤙🏼🌸😊
druidity33
(6,445 posts)The excerpt was delightful. I am trying to work my own little homestead... i unashamedly watch gardening videos and cooking videos just for enjoyment! Sometimes i even learn things too!
K&R
mopinko
(70,023 posts)on my fb page there's a half hour video of a lecture i gave on soil building.
vid starts part way in.
there's more vids too. few this informative, tho.
https://www.facebook.com/MoahsArk/videos/1556981467656860
highplainsdem
(48,918 posts)I love what you wrote about your dad -- so poignant and insightful!
mopinko
(70,023 posts)he always used to say that when he was 16, he thought his da was the dumbest guy on earth. but after a year or 2 of college, he realized how wise he had been.
ppl tell you that, but til you get to be old, you dont believe it.
i do love the film.
Ziggysmom
(3,399 posts)Michigan, Southern end of Milwaukee County. In my mind's eye I return to that farm each night before I fall asleep. I was missing my dad very much this Fathers Day; he passed in 1998. He was an imperfect man who drank & gambled too much, but now I mostly remember the good times and all he taught me. I remember the days having a good time out mushroom picking, and riding horses or baling hay. Your post brought back many very happy memories of Dad, our farm and my fav critters, the chickens. Loved the video, too!
Thank You