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Sat May 1, 2021, 01:58 AM

Contender for the worlds worst relationship

His name was Gregario

I was an extremely closeted when I graduated from college. My orientation was known to me much earlier than this, I knew I was gay. My first orgasm occurred in grandma’s bathtub, thinking about sex with a member of my sex.

I had two groups of friends, one weekday and one weekend. My parents sent my brother and I onto my mother’s parents every weekend. It was great, mom’s parents spoiled us silly. Having friends Frankie (home) and Jeff (Weekends at grandma’s) was good, we both eventually began exploring our sexuality.

Jeff got married to Candi (female), I was his best man.

Frankie moved to Arkansas.

This all happened before college. Year 1982. AIDS/HIV hit. I totally freaked out, no sex for the next four years. Imagine that, celebrate through your college years, that was me.

After graduating, finally moved to my own place. I finally decided to go to a gay bar. Ended up meeting Gregario, I fell head over heels. He was a very good looking young Hispanic man, I was “truly in love”, sex was beyond belief.

So Gregario soon ended up living with me. He pledged his commitment to our relationship. I was warned by others that he was less than faithful, but I choose not to believe them. I was smitten, and would hear no criticism.

Things got worse. He would leave for the weekend claiming he had a job being a waiter in a one for away restaurant for a high end restaurant, I went along believing.

I was told the his mom and fiancée were coming up from Texas, and needed a place to stay. It turned out mom and fiancé were 15 folks that needed a home, they ended up in our apartment.

After I got everybody moved out, which included my paying security deposits for their apartments, things settled down.

I always had to travel for work. A project in Minneapolis had me gone the for the week, got home about 7:00 pm Friday. At about 8:00 pm, there was a knock on the door. POLICE, we have a warrant to search your apartment. I looked it over, sure enough they did. It turns out my beloved Gregario had “allegedly” had sex with a minor in my apartment while I was away. Of course he denied everything after he got home that evening.

Nothing ever did come from the pedo sex.

Gregario’s health deteriorated. AIDS was diagnosed.

Gregario did die from AIDS, his body laid in state in my house (long story). I was an emotional wreck.

Interesting Gregario was previously diagnosed with HIV. He knew he was positive before I met him, I found papers of him dealing with agents that could help with his HIV. Proof positive he knew he was HIV positive before I met him. Oh well.

After his death, I went through a many emotions. Grief, soon replaced with rage and hate. I imagine I am still dealing with this.





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Arrow 7 replies Author Time Post
Reply Contender for the worlds worst relationship (Original post)
Retired Engineer Bob May 1 OP
dawg day May 1 #1
abqtommy May 1 #2
Retired Engineer Bob May 1 #3
NNadir May 1 #4
Retired Engineer Bob May 1 #5
NNadir May 1 #6
Retired Engineer Bob May 1 #7

Response to Retired Engineer Bob (Original post)

Sat May 1, 2021, 07:38 AM

1. AIDS was so devastating in the 90s

Took so many vibrant young lives. Gregario sounds irresistible and trouble... a bad boy, but charming. I wish you could say something like, and now he's conning old rich guys in Miami Beach, that reprobate.

I'm glad you didn't also have to suffer that illness. I think many of us have forgotten that last epidemic.

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Response to Retired Engineer Bob (Original post)

Sat May 1, 2021, 10:24 AM

2. Grief is a personal thing. Somtimes it lasts a short time and sometimes it lasts as long

as we live. The best we can do is get to the final level of acceptance as fast as we can.

It appears that it's human nature that relationships are a difficult thing for everyone.

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Response to Retired Engineer Bob (Original post)

Sat May 1, 2021, 10:43 AM

3. AIDS was and is a tragedy

Although I tested negative once Gregario was diagnosed, a few years later I was tested again once my current husband tested positive. I too was positive. This was back in ‘96. I recall the conversation with my doctor about the new medications that had just been developed. He asked if I was interested in trying them. Hell yes was my reaction, we have both been on the meds ever since. We are both healthy to this day. Talk about cutting it close, had I been diagnosed just two or three years earlier I would not be posting this message.

I was going through Gregario’s things after he passed. I found literature that proved he had tested positive before we met. He never bothered to tell me. Oh well.

I am hopeful that the new mRNA vaccine technology will lead to a vaccine for HIV.

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Response to Retired Engineer Bob (Original post)

Sat May 1, 2021, 12:11 PM

4. You have my sympathy Bob. That really stinks.

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Response to NNadir (Reply #4)

Sat May 1, 2021, 12:36 PM

5. Thanks

Not really looking for sympathy, just kinda pointing out a low point in my life. Things are so much better for me now. My current hubby is fantastic, he’s working full time and his insurance covers us both. One reason I decided to jump off the rat race at age 56.

Gregario’s family was a piece of work as well. He was in the ICU (first of several visits). He asked me to go find his mother. She was dealing coke at one of several shady bars in a bad area of town. I found her at the fourth or fifth place I checked. Had to convince several patrons I was not a cop. I explained to her that her son was in the hospital and wanted her to visit. She couldn’t be bothered, it was no fun going back and explaining to him that she wouldn’t visit. Just one of several examples showing what great people they were.

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Response to Retired Engineer Bob (Reply #5)

Sat May 1, 2021, 12:51 PM

6. Wow. I thought I had trouble with my in-laws...

Early on my relationship with them was painful, but nothing on that order. I do think it would have been far worse than it was were it a gay relationship, but it happens that I'm heterosexual but it was tough out of the box. My wife's family eventually grew to love me, and I them, but they weren't dealing drugs in bars, that's for sure.

By the way, I was involved in the scale up of the protease inhibitors, which is on my mind quite a bit in the age of the vaccine scale ups. I know what people are going through in the labs and in the manufacturing plants, where even the slightest mistake can lead to a tragedy.

I want you to know that we in the pharmaceutical industry really did care about our brothers in the gay community in the early days of AIDS.

Professionally, I think that was the high point in my life, knowing that I was helping to manage that terrible disease.

I'm very pleased that you have survived the infection because of the work we did; and I'm happy for you that you found love again after what must have been a very traumatic experience in your previous relationship, which you have correctly described as one of the worst imaginable.

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Response to NNadir (Reply #6)

Sat May 1, 2021, 01:06 PM

7. My turn for a wow

I was fortunate enough to be an early taker of the PIs. As I said, when my doctor told me about them and asked if I was interested I carefully considered my answer for about 1/2 second. I was terrified of my prospects, AIDS is a terrible way to die.

As much as folks like to bitch and moan about the pharmaceutical companies, I am forever grateful I got my life back. So you and folks like you get my most severe thanks, bless you all.

PS: Get your Covid jabs everyone, we can beat this terrible disease as well. Had my second Pfizer three weeks ago, went to dinner with my also vaccinated “Friday Night Cronies” last night.

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