HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » The DU Lounge (Forum) » What MASH character said ...

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 03:58 AM

What MASH character said it?

In the vein of Red Dog's movie quote threads, this one is movie and TV quotes...but they're all from either the movie MASH or the TV show MASH. You just have to name the character who said it.

1. "With any luck, he'll forget the whole damned war."

2. "I have a deeply personal question...what is your name?"

3. "You wore your soldier hat!"

4. "I am damned cute!"

5. "I may not know all the medicine in the world, but I can read an X-ray with my eyes closed."

6. "What's a beach party without a beach?"

7. "I must have lost my punch. I never expected the son-of-a-bitch to get up!"

8. "His ringer spotted our ringer."

9. "It's the job that counts, not the rank."

10. "I'm going to sandbag you, General."

11. "Why don't you save that rapier-like wit for the clamdiggers back home, Hawkeye?"

12. "I didn't see which way they went. I'm just glad they're gone."

13. "Anyone who buys this crummy ring deserves a break."

14. "Have you ever heard of the Malaysian chest implosion torture?"

15. "I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party."

16. "You're a skilled, talented, drunken surgeon. Maybe you could work door-to-door."

17. "Frank Burns has no lips."

18. "You're a tough act to follow, John Francis."

19. "Baby needs...a lawyer."

20. "We're not asking for a jukebox or a pizza oven." "Those I can let you have."

20 replies, 573 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 20 replies Author Time Post
Reply What MASH character said it? (Original post)
jmowreader Jul 10 OP
Amy-Strange Jul 10 #1
lastlib Jul 10 #3
Amy-Strange Jul 10 #4
lastlib Jul 10 #6
Amy-Strange Jul 10 #7
CTyankee Jul 10 #2
lastlib Jul 10 #5
jmowreader Jul 11 #12
yewberry Jul 10 #8
jmowreader Jul 10 #9
yewberry Jul 10 #10
Angleae Jul 11 #11
Iggo Jul 11 #13
jmowreader Jul 11 #14
Iggo Jul 11 #15
wnylib Jul 11 #16
jmowreader Jul 12 #18
jmowreader Jul 12 #19
SamIam715 Jul 12 #17
jmowreader Jul 12 #20

Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 04:22 PM

1. Here's the best I can do, and...

-

that ain't much:

#8 was from Radar

#15 was from Hawkeye

and the first part of #20 was from Hawkeye, and the second part was from Colonel Blake.
==========

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Amy-Strange (Reply #1)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 05:53 PM

3. (second part of #20 was from a supply captain (whose name escapes me).....)

Hawkeye & BJ were trying to wrangle an incubator, IIRC

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to lastlib (Reply #3)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 06:00 PM

4. Damn, you're right, and...

-

I just finished watching that episode on Hulu too, but I can't remember the supply captain's name either.

It was for an incubator, and they wanted it to grow cultures, but I can't remember exactly what kind they were.
=========

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Amy-Strange (Reply #4)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 06:03 PM

6. Welcome to DU!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to lastlib (Reply #6)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 06:09 PM

7. Thank you, but I've been here since 2002...

-

as AmyStrange (w/o the dash).
=========


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 05:50 PM

2. # 17 is Margaret Houlihan?

#4 is Radar?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 06:02 PM

5. #2 was Winchester

He had a drunken fling with a lady in Tokyo, got "married", and she came to the camp to see him--he couldn't remember her name.

#10 was Hawkeye--the general was ragging on him for not operating on a patient, who Hawkeye determined wasn't ready for surgery; when they did the operation, he was patiently explaining to the general the steps, then asked him what was next.

#15 was Hawkeye
#18 was a Cardinal visiting the camp--Father Mulcahy was freaking out about not showing him the camp's best face; then he went to comfort a soldier and forgot about a sermon he was supposed to give in front of his eminence.

#14 was Col. Flagg
#16 (guessing) was Sidney Freedman
#1 was Col. Potter.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to lastlib (Reply #5)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 02:56 AM

12. No on 16. The rest are good.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 07:02 PM

8. #4--I want it to be Nurse Kelly

but what she actually said was "I'm cute as Hell." That always stuck with me.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to yewberry (Reply #8)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 07:04 PM

9. 4 is Nurse Kelly

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Reply #9)

Fri Jul 10, 2020, 07:09 PM

10. Well then!

Pretty sure she said I'm cute as Hell!

I loved that character, she was so great!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 02:18 AM

11. I think #3 is BJ

In his drunken stupor hiding in the colonels office after slugging Hawkeye.

#13 is a korean merchant (name escapes me), the one who made the vascular clamp for Hawkeye & BJ

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 10:50 AM

13. Number 8.

Radar, in the movie, at the game.

Here's one, best line of the movie: "God damn Army!"

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Iggo (Reply #13)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 11:32 AM

14. That was said by "Sergeant Gorman"

I had to look that up because I knew the actor but not the part...the actor was jazz singer Bobby Troup, in his only movie role that didn’t involve him being a musician or bandleader. Two years later, Jack Webb cast him as one of the doctors on the TV show “Emergency!”

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Reply #14)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 03:34 PM

15. I didn't realize that was a named character.

To this day that's one of my favorite lines in any movie. (Right up there with "I'm the bad guy?" ) It's one guy, delivering one line, and telling a whole story. He absolutely gets across his utter disgust of what has become of the Army that he joined in WWII or before, as compared to his current job of driving around these two idiots. Probably goes deeper than that, but I've never been in the service, so I've got nothing to draw on.

Or maybe I do. I work in an office, a bullpen atmosphere really, with another guy my age (approaching 60) and three young men barely over 20. When one of those get-off-my-lawn moments comes up, and they come up on the regular, I get no greater enjoyment than to make the other old guy laugh by grousing with gusto, "God damn Army!"

So, yeah.

Well, hell! This was some good therapy!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat Jul 11, 2020, 05:03 PM

16. #4 was Klinger?

#11 Major Frank Burns?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to wnylib (Reply #16)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:50 PM

18. 4 was not Klinger, but there's a Klinger line in here

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to wnylib (Reply #16)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:51 PM

19. 11 was a character from the movie, who was one of Hawkeye's childhood friends

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 01:40 PM

17. Oh no!

The list left off the best line, IMHO:

It's nice to be nice to the nice 😊 (Frank)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sun Jul 12, 2020, 03:28 PM

20. Here are the answers

1. Colonel Potter.
From the series: One of the Swampmen's favorite field medics came in with amnesia after his little brother was killed in front of him. Colonel Potter said this after he authorized them to call for Major Freeman, the psychiatrist.

2. Major Winchester.
From the series: On an R&R in Tokyo, Major Winchester entered into a faux marriage with a very nice lady, and he asked this after he found out they weren't really married.

3. BJ Hunnicutt
From the series: After Radar's discharge, he flew into San Francisco. BJ's wife Peg and kid Erin met him at the airport. Peg sent BJ a letter saying how cute it was that Erin called Radar 'daddy.' BJ found no humor in it, got drunk with Klinger, and proceeded to trash the place. After they were found, Hawkeye was called to talk BJ down. Hawkeye wore his helmet.

4. Nurse Kelly
From the series: She was chewing Hawkeye's ass because he wouldn't chase her like he did all the other nurses in camp, and she wanted him to.

5. Colonel Blake
From the series: Radar had just hit a Korean man with a jeep, and Henry was treating him.

6. Klinger
From the series: Hawkeye and BJ were throwing a "beach party" with seafood to raise the camp's morale. They had previously issued Klinger a blank pass. When Klinger went to Camp Market in Incheon to pick up the food, he took his footlocker with him. They thought he'd gone AWOL, and were preparing to call the MPs when Klinger showed up. It turned out he used the footlocker to bring sand back in.

7. Trapper John
From the movie: One of Frank's patients died in post-op. He blamed a medic named Boone for the death. Trapper met Frank in the supply room and punched him in the mouth just as Colonel Blake and Major O'Houlihan walked in on their introductory tour.

8. Radar
From the movie: During the Korean War, several NFL players were drafted into the Army and sent to Korea. General Hammond, commanding all 8th Army medical units, grabbed them as they came in and put them on his special football team, which he used to swindle other units out of money. He didn't know about a neurosurgeon named Oliver Harmon Jones, who had played for the 49ers before he was drafted. Hawkeye got Henry to put in a by-name request for him, challenged Hammond to a football game, and beat them. Fun fact: the actor who played Captain Jones was retired NFL defensive back Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, who was described by Vince Lombardi as "the dirtiest player I have ever seen."

9. Father Mulcahy
From the series: He said this after he'd been passed over for promotion the third time.

10. Hawkeye
From the series: Hawkeye had been named Chief Surgeon over Frank, and Major Tweedledee (Margaret) and Major Tweedledumbass (Frank) were pissed off about it. Toward the end of the episode, a soldier who was shot to shit was brought in. Hawkeye put him on blood and penicillin to prepare him for surgery, then went to the Swamp to play poker while waiting for it to go in. The majors brought one of the generals Margaret knew in (the general was played by Sorrell Booke, who went on to play Boss Hogg in The Dukes of Hazzard) to "get" Hawkeye and Henry. During the operation, Hawkeye fixed all the visible wounds, then asked the general that question before explaining the patient also had a hidden wound they had to search for.

11. Me Lay Marston
From the movie: Me Lay was one of Hawkeye's childhood friends. Trapper and Hawkeye were brought to Kokura, Japan, to perform surgery on a Congressman's son. Me Lay was the anesthesiologist for the surgery.

12. Rosie
From the series: One of BJ and Klinger's stops on their post-Radar drunken rampage was Rosie's, where they trashed the place.

13. Mr. Shin
From the series: Mr. Shin was a craftsman working in metals who sold goods he made from a cart. Klinger had accidentally thrown away Margaret's wedding ring, which as it turns out her husband paid about five bucks for. Mr. Shin had a dozen of them, so Hawkeye and BJ bought one and had it engraved. Then they found out Mr. Shin was a metalworker and had him construct a vascular clamp they needed. He did the job for ten dollars.

14. Colonel Flagg
From the series: Flagg was trying to scare Radar into doing something awful for him.

15. Hawkeye
From the series: Frank had accused Hawkeye of being a disgrace as an officer and a surgeon. Hawkeye told him off.

16. BJ
From the series: Captain Simmons was a young doctor who had more recent training than Charles did, and showed Charles up. Charles responded by getting thoroughly drunk and bemoaning how far behind he'd fallen while stationed at MASH...so, naturally, BJ had to give him a lot of shit.

17. Margaret.
From the series: While Frank was in temporary command of the Double Natural, he decided to declare the post dry. Margaret had some brandy she'd hidden from Frank. The Swampmen discovered her refilling her flask and got drunk with her on it.

18. Cardinal Reardon
From the series: Cardinal Reardon was the commander of all Catholic chaplains in Korea. He came to the 4077th for a visit. Father Mulcahy went overboard trying to make the unit moral for the cardinal so he wouldn't get offended. Then Hawkeye told the father he'd just had to tell a patient he had leukemia. Father Mulcahy spent the whole night talking to the guy, and wound up giving a sermon (in which he apologized to the unit for the way he'd been acting) to the cardinal in an old brown bathrobe.

19. Rizzo
From the series: During the same episode, the colonel gave orders that there'd be no gambling during the cardinal's visit. The colonel and several other officers walked in on a craps game Rizzo was running in the supply room.

20. Hawkeye and Captain Sloan
From the series: The 4077th has a lab, but no incubator - so any test requiring one had to be run at the 121st Evacuation Hospital in Seoul. (Unlike most of the units mentioned in MASH, the 121st Evac was a real unit designation during the Korean War. It retained that designation until 2008, when it became the Brian Allgood Community Hospital. Colonel Allgood was commander of the 121st Evac from 2004 to 2006. After his Korea tour ended, he was reassigned to command all medical units serving in Iraq. In 2008, the helicopter he was in was shot down by insurgents. All aboard were killed, and the 121st was renamed in his honor.) MASH had several underlying themes, and one of them was excessive Army bureaucracy. Also, this is thoroughly believable: Medical equipment like incubators is "Class VIII" supply, and recreational equipment like jukeboxes and pizza ovens are "Class VI" supply. Every unit has a list of all their non-Class VI items; in Korea it was the Basic Equipment List and now it's the Modified Table of Organization and Equipment. Class VI items, you can have whatever you want. Given that, they could have gotten an incubator relatively easily: the first field-grade commander in the chain of command, aka Henry, would have filed a modification to the BEL/MTOE to add an incubator to it, then filed a requisition to have one issued. However, that wouldn't have been as much fun as the episode they made.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread