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Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:22 AM

I just told my boyfriend I am moving out.

Itís over tRump. Iíve been seeing him 2 yrs+ and we tried out the living together (10 months now) but it only showed me heís not just conservative. He really supports that fucker and admitted it not only a half hour ago.

We are polar opposites on this and neither can be moved. I. Will. Not. Move. On. This.

I am so fucking tolerant of so much. But not this.

Anyway, fuck this sucks. How can a person be so cool and so fucking stupid at the same time? Damnit!

I found a place first. Now the awkward shitshow will begin. Ugh!

49 replies, 3240 views

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Reply I just told my boyfriend I am moving out. (Original post)
Wawannabe Jun 2020 OP
benld74 Jun 2020 #1
dhill926 Jun 2020 #2
lagomorph777 Jun 2020 #33
vlyons Jun 2020 #3
chillfactor Jun 2020 #4
Buckeye_Democrat Jun 2020 #5
vercetti2021 Jun 2020 #6
lapfog_1 Jun 2020 #7
rogerballard Jun 2020 #8
DFW Jun 2020 #9
Wawannabe Jun 2020 #36
DFW Jun 2020 #40
Steven Maurer Jun 2020 #10
BComplex Jun 2020 #43
Rainbow Droid Jun 2020 #11
GeoWilliam750 Jun 2020 #12
lagomorph777 Jun 2020 #34
Laffy Kat Jun 2020 #13
James48 Jun 2020 #14
Sloumeau Jun 2020 #15
BlueMTexpat Jun 2020 #16
amuse bouche Jun 2020 #17
KY_EnviroGuy Jun 2020 #18
Freddie Jun 2020 #19
bucolic_frolic Jun 2020 #20
Old Crow Jun 2020 #21
The Finn Al Analysis Jun 2020 #22
Old Crow Jun 2020 #23
The Finn Al Analysis Jun 2020 #27
Old Crow Jun 2020 #30
bucolic_frolic Jun 2020 #26
The Finn Al Analysis Jun 2020 #28
TexasTowelie Jun 2020 #24
no_hypocrisy Jun 2020 #25
Callalily Jun 2020 #29
RandiFan1290 Jun 2020 #31
Wawannabe Jun 2020 #37
Aristus Jun 2020 #32
Wawannabe Jun 2020 #35
smirkymonkey Jun 2020 #38
sellitman Jun 2020 #39
lostnfound Jun 2020 #41
OregonBlue Jun 2020 #42
3catwoman3 Jun 2020 #44
Skittles Jun 2020 #45
Wawannabe Jun 2020 #46
Squidly Jun 2020 #47
DFW Jun 2020 #48
Squidly Jun 2020 #49

Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:24 AM

1. Better to discover now. Take care

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:25 AM

2. it may suck now...

but in the long term, sounds like the right move. Good luck...

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Response to dhill926 (Reply #2)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:18 AM

33. +1 That is not a suitable life partner. You will feel better very soon.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:30 AM

3. You deserve a better boy friend

Someone, whom you can totally respect. A man of honor and integrity. Character is everything.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:32 AM

4. good for you.....

there is a much better man out there for you......one that has a functioning brain.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:32 AM

5. Good decision.

Do it now before there's worse consequences.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:34 AM

6. Honestly it's probably for the best

Who the hell knows what this guy would have been like I mean conservatives are already complete utter nutjobs. I will say you dodged a major bullet and you deserve somebody so much better than that.

Chin up it'll be okay it'll hurt for a little bit but it'll be okay you'll find somebody out there I promise.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:01 AM

7. past time to move on

there are many others out there who are not conservative trump humpers.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:09 AM

8. Sorry for your loss? nt

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:32 AM

9. Conservative is one thing. Republican/Trumpanzee is quite another.

Last edited Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:55 PM - Edit history (1)

The two are NOT synonymous!

I am your classic conservative, at least as defined in a dictionary of the English language (as opposed to Republicanese).

I still work for the same outfit that recruited me out of college in 1975. I have been with the same wonderful woman since 1974. We have raised two solid, intelligent children who have grown up, think independently, did well in their respective colleges, and have jobs in which they earn their own living (though one juts lost hers when her company went *poof*), have stable, long-term relationships, and are well-respected in their chosen fields.

I am risk-averse, and do not like to make rash, un-thought-out decisions. I have no debts. I have no addictions, not even to alcohol, religion, gambling, or nicotine. My favorite American philosopher is the 18th century Thomas Jefferson.

I am the epitome of ďconservative.Ē If you stick with the English dictionary, I'm quite liberal, too.

As for your newly-ex, I agree with the others. You are better off doing this now rather than later when it will be a LOT more painful.

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Response to DFW (Reply #9)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:37 AM

36. Thank you DFW

I do admire your conservative qualities. I have a conservative side. I will be better off soon.




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Response to Wawannabe (Reply #36)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:01 PM

40. I truly believe you will be.

When one girlfriend that I thought was "THE" one decided there were greener pastures to graze in, I thought my world had collapsed, too. But what the hell did I know? I was 20. Two years later, I met the woman who REALLY incorporated everything I could ever hope for--except for two minor obstacles--she spoke another language and lived on another continent. But there are obstacles, and then there are obstacles. I decided that these were ones to be overcome. I learned to speak her language fluently (I had a head start already), and got myself recruited by an outfit that would ultimately station me in her country (Germany), and send me there often before the move. It CAN be done--for the right one. YOu just dodged a major bullet--maybe because karma has THE right one just waiting around the corner to say hi.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:37 AM

10. I know you feel sad now, but people who see themselves in sociopaths...

...are not the kind of people you can have in your life.

Sociopaths are very charming in a surface sort of way, but ten years in they're beating you.

This happens all the time.

Be glad you found out now.

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Response to Steven Maurer (Reply #10)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:35 PM

43. This is true. Today's Republicans are like a different species.

And eventually their character, behind their political ideology reveals itself, and it's not pretty. It's really very dark.

Republicans of the past were nothing like the reptilians we see today.

You were wise, and respecting yourself, when you decided to stop this relationship.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:43 AM

11. "Pain now or way more pain later" is never a fun situation. Wishing you all the best.

And I know you don't want to hear this but every true friend you've got will be saying it: Be more cautious next time when you are considering moving in with someone you are not totally confident on living with!

Listen to that annoying little voice in your head that says, "Ya know, this just might turn out to have been a bad idea!"

Almost nobody listens to that voice or wants to admit it was ever there, even after things go bad!

But you can save yourself so much pain and suffering by just being more cautious with who you bring close to your heart and in your daily life.

Again, all the best. I know how much you're hurting. It'll get better. Be strong for yourself. You deserve it, you are worth it, and you aren't alone. Hugs! <3

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:58 AM

12. Here is hoping that you find the absolute perfect person in the very near future

And fall head over heels in love at first sight.

It does happen, and surprisingly often.

Big virtual group hug!

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Response to GeoWilliam750 (Reply #12)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:26 AM

34. Love at first sight is a terrible idea.

I speak from experience.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:04 AM

13. Oh man, I am so sorry.

I know it's painful. Plus, even though I don't know your financial situation, that's probably going to take a hit, too. I'm sending a virtual hug your way. Stay strong. Surround yourself with supportive friends.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:21 AM

14. You are much better off.

There is someone somewhere for you.

That is NOT a Trumper.

You are doing the right thing.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:31 AM

15. If he's a Trumper, he probably has other issues...

that you don't know about yet. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:38 AM

16. You may literally have

dodged a bullet!

Good for you! Stay safe!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:48 AM

17. Everything about trump is horrid

I believe there is something mentally wrong with people that think otherwise. Sorry for your loss
but at least your not married to him

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 04:52 AM

18. Congratulations. If this was something simple like a bad habit....

that he could be rid of, it could be easily resolved. But brainwashed right-wingers are mostly hopeless and unfortunately doomed for life.

As an older man, I've known several men that had dual, very contrasting personalities that required a while to recognize and it is quite a shock when the bad side is revealed. A great many right-wingers share this nature - Mr. nice guy and all smiles one minute and a flaming caustic narrow-minded asshole the next when politics comes up.

I know you have learned a tremendous lesson from this that will help in the future.

Best of luck and keep us posted as you feel you need to.......

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:01 AM

19. You made the absolutely right decision

Plus any man that admires Trump has to be what they called in my day a MCP (male chauvinist pig). The #1 basis for a relationship has to be shared values. Been with my husband for 42 years and while we donít always like the same music or movies etc., we totally agree on how human beings deserve to be treated.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:06 AM

20. The idea is

when young we are attracted to one another, don't know as much about ourselves and the world, and grow together, ironing out the differences. But there are deeper aspects to personality, and sometimes they prove incompatible. You are better off to find out now. Empower yourself, build your own strength to embrace the world. You will achieve much and enjoy much more.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:16 AM

21. As an older person, I can tell you you're probably doing the right thing.

As others have stated, those who are still solidly behind Donald Trump at this point almost certainly have psychological issues or serious character flaws. I engage with MAGAs online a lot; common flaws and issues include: lack of critical thought; anger and resentment toward those with good educations; fear of change; racism and xenophobia; sexism; a lack of appreciation for the rule of law; an unhealthy appetite for authoritarianism; selfishness.

In other times, in other periods, a person's support of a Republican president could simply reflect a different, but not necessarily unhealthy, mindset. These times are different. Get away from him. You're making the right choice.

Good luck.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:16 AM

22. I Don't Agree

 

Finding someone to keep you warm at night transcends everything. Politics should not put family, friendly, or sexual relationships asunder. Decades ago, I learned that final point the hard way!

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Response to The Finn Al Analysis (Reply #22)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:22 AM

23. Umm, have I got this right?

You're valuing sex over being with someone whose values you respect?

This is a boyfriend of two years. Not a parent, not a family member, and not a childhood friend. She young. Young people break up and move on. The chances of her finding a new boyfriend whose values are more compatible with hers are excellent.

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Response to Old Crow (Reply #23)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:44 AM

27. You KNOW, Do You?

 

The girl I let walk in 1978 still haunts me today! And I will thank you very kindly not to misconstrue my words. You are the one who mentioned sex. And I'm not saying that being warm at night excludes such, but it is An Aspect, not The ALL.

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Response to The Finn Al Analysis (Reply #27)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 06:12 AM

30. I didn't misconstrue your words.

Let me remind you what you wrote:

"Finding someone to keep you warm at night transcends everything. Politics should not put family, friendly, or sexual relationships asunder" (my emphasis).

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Response to The Finn Al Analysis (Reply #22)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:34 AM

26. "Finding someone to keep you warm at night transcends everything."

Unspeakably shallow. Agreeing to disagree with someone whose values you loathe is not a relationship or a marriage. It's a truce.

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Response to bucolic_frolic (Reply #26)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:55 AM

28. I'm 68 Years Old

 

Please do me the courtesy of not throwing inapplicable words at me.

Note to All: This will be my final post of the thread. Thus, you may step out of that condemnatory lineup at your leisure. Or not, as you please. I do not care either way. Thank you, and have a nice day.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:23 AM

24. Most likely this is a wise decision.

Please be prepared to leave quickly in order to remain safe in case he behaves irrationally.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:27 AM

25. Good for you. My parents had a terrible marriage. My mother was a liberal progressive and

my father was a conservative, authoritarian republican. The worst part is my mother had a BA and an MA and still got played by my father who pretended to support Adlai Stevenson. (I know, I know -- I'm talking myself out of existence.)

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:59 AM

29. Although a tough decision, you made the right decision.

Polar opposites in politics rarely work in a relationship!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:03 AM

31. How did you ignore the racism?

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Response to RandiFan1290 (Reply #31)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:45 AM

37. Reared its ugliness just this week

On the Floyd matter. We have a large circle. He owns a tavern. So many different colored people hang out there. We know everyone and the new ones are welcome and soon feeling at home. I am more than surprised and shocked.

One of his best friends is half Mexican. Another, middle eastern. But, the way he has responded about the Floyd thing had me floored!

The Monday incident in DC had me up in arms and then all hell broke lose after his comments at that time.

Rose colored glasses, anyone? Free for the taking!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:38 AM

32. Good for you. Get out. You don't need that shit in your life.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:27 AM

35. So appreciate the hugs and support

From everyone! Thank you. Really!
☺️☺️☺️

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 10:34 AM

38. Good for you! I am glad that you value yourself enough to do what is healthy in the long run.

I hope this won't be too painful for you. Wishing you the best of luck!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:31 PM

39. You are doing him a favor

That should be your only answer to his questions.

I hope you find someone better. If you lived near LA I'd get you a date with my oldest.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:09 PM

41. Good luck. Recognize the good parts and wish him well. Be safe. Hugs from DU family.

If he has any violent tendencies, or if he has a gun, avoid confrontation and donít be alone inside the house for it. Two years may not be enough to expose full depth of his issues.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:21 PM

42. Seems to me you totally dodged the bullet on this one!

I don't know how old you are but I'm an old lady and I can tell you from experience that if he truly supports a fascist it would never have worked. You would have found other things later that were equally scary
I'm proud of you.

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 06:50 PM

44. Some things are "above and beyond the call of duty," so to speak.

This would be one of those things.

Youíve taken a brave step, and I applaud you!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:14 PM

45. incompatible differences

no way would I live with a Trump humper - no way

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Response to Skittles (Reply #45)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 10:02 PM

46. I just told my step dad

Used the words trump humper.

We are all a little more than surprised actually. As my step dad was. I spoke with a friend that knows him pretty well and she was floored. Not ď_____Ē! I was like. Yes. He admitted it and more.

I really donít have a lot of close friends. Really appreciate the DU connection especially last night late!

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Response to Wawannabe (Original post)

Wed Jun 3, 2020, 11:25 PM

47. Hang in there

I left my fiance 6 months ago for the same reason. Compatibility is a BIG part of any relationship and when someone turns out to be someone other than you thought they were, its time to cut your losses and move on.
To me, I questioned how I could love someone who blindly supported someone that stood against every fiber of my being. She wasnt like that when we got engaged, but over the final 6 months it was as if she had been brainwashed by a few of her friends and co workers. It got to the point where every conversation came back to her saying how great of a president he was and how he was so good for America...when she started in on the whole Obama was a disgrace part I couldnt even look at her anymore and I knew it was time to go.
You will be fine. Dont let anyone make you abandon your principles.

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Response to Squidly (Reply #47)

Thu Jun 4, 2020, 02:21 AM

48. I'd go you one further

Compatibility is THE BIGGEST part of any relationship. My wife and I hit it off the first night we met, but when you're 22, one night stands are not out of the question. She was German, living in (West) Berlin at the time, I was a newly minted college grad living in Philadelphia, where I had gone to school. After 4 years of commuting, she came to spend a year with me (now in Boston) to see if we could get along in a living arrangement, but with the proviso that if it worked out, that I would ultimately make the move to Europe. We didn't even get married until 1982, and even then, it was my brother who invited us to OUR wedding (who has time for stuff like THAT?). At the wedding, my best man remarked that he knew everyone thought we were rushing into this (after 8 years), but he had faith.

We know couples who got married after two years of knowing each other. Some are still together after 30 years, some broke up after less than two. Those who broke up just didn't know enough about each other. Sound familiar?

Wawannabe--be glad for your luck, grieve for a while for what you lost, and then go on to meet that one who turns out to be the one you were really waiting for all this time. Was there, did that. Forty-six years later, still happy that I lucked out. You will be, too.

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Response to DFW (Reply #48)

Thu Jun 4, 2020, 02:29 AM

49. Great post DFW!

Like my brother told me...best to find out now, than to find out after that ring goes on!

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