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Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:30 PM

question for other loners

anyone else think it's a bit strange, watching all the angst over "social distancing"?

74 replies, 1565 views

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Reply question for other loners (Original post)
Skittles Mar 2020 OP
redstateblues Mar 2020 #1
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #3
dewsgirl Mar 2020 #33
dweller Mar 2020 #2
Aquaria Mar 2020 #57
Magoo48 Mar 2020 #4
2naSalit Mar 2020 #9
Basic LA Mar 2020 #10
Aquaria Mar 2020 #58
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2020 #5
True Blue American Mar 2020 #11
Nay Mar 2020 #45
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #6
liberalla Mar 2020 #7
CountAllVotes Mar 2020 #29
dewsgirl Mar 2020 #34
CountAllVotes Mar 2020 #42
2naSalit Mar 2020 #8
tblue37 Mar 2020 #12
Skittles Mar 2020 #13
emmaverybo Mar 2020 #14
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #16
emmaverybo Mar 2020 #62
tblue37 Mar 2020 #15
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #17
dewsgirl Mar 2020 #35
skypilot Mar 2020 #18
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #19
skypilot Mar 2020 #20
Kali Mar 2020 #59
skypilot Mar 2020 #68
Cirque du So-What Mar 2020 #21
Iggo Mar 2020 #22
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #23
Iggo Mar 2020 #24
uriel1972 Mar 2020 #25
captain queeg Mar 2020 #26
MLAA Mar 2020 #39
Aquaria Mar 2020 #65
captain queeg Mar 2020 #67
blm Mar 2020 #27
mindem Mar 2020 #28
DemoTex Mar 2020 #30
Skittles Mar 2020 #37
mnhtnbb Mar 2020 #46
Kali Mar 2020 #60
IADEMO2004 Mar 2020 #31
dewsgirl Mar 2020 #32
Ptah Mar 2020 #36
love_katz Mar 2020 #38
Skittles Mar 2020 #40
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2020 #43
Skittles Mar 2020 #44
Nay Mar 2020 #47
Skittles Mar 2020 #48
love_katz Mar 2020 #69
milestogo Mar 2020 #41
mnhtnbb Mar 2020 #49
3catwoman3 Mar 2020 #50
Skittles Mar 2020 #51
LizBeth Mar 2020 #52
mzmolly Mar 2020 #53
fierywoman Mar 2020 #54
Skittles Mar 2020 #55
fierywoman Mar 2020 #64
TDale313 Mar 2020 #56
sakabatou Mar 2020 #61
UTUSN Mar 2020 #63
Skittles Mar 2020 #71
Wounded Bear Mar 2020 #66
Skittles Mar 2020 #70
Turin_C3PO Mar 2020 #72
shanti Mar 2020 #73
Skittles Mar 2020 #74

Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:33 PM

1. I'm a loner who is around a lot of people!

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Response to redstateblues (Reply #1)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:34 PM

3. "I even feel lonely in a crowd"

line from a song... can't remember off the top of my head which one /sigh

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Response to redstateblues (Reply #1)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:26 PM

33. I know the feeling.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:33 PM

2. no

nothing surprises me when it comes to others anymore..

is why i prefer alone... hell is other people

✌🏼

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Response to dweller (Reply #2)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 11:58 PM

57. Same here

 

I go out for necessities, but I'm otherwise happy staying at home, noodling on my computer, reading books, playing with my cat, watching squirrels in my backyard and working out. My best friends are my mom and my husband. And I make sure to live 300 miles from my mother at all times. Experience taught me LONG ago that we don't do well in closer contact. I prefer having a good relationship with her, so I always live where she needs to fly to get to me. Or a road trip too long to make often.

I don't do much outside of my home. The big outdoor activity for me is grocery shopping, not for the people contact, but for the exercise and the control freak side of me deciding what to get. That's why I shop early in the morning, when fewer people tend to shop (or did, before the panic buying). The only other place I visit on a regular basis is the post office. All I do there is clear out my PO box and hope like hell that anything I've ordered online will fit in a parcel locker so that I can avoid going to a window to pick it up. Now, even those two things are off my radar, since my husband is insisting on handling them until this blows over.

I'll sorta miss grocery shopping, but, other than that, this corona isolation thing is barely a disruption for me. And I don't mind. I get even more of the peace and quiet I crave than I did before.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:35 PM

4. I'm always looking for solitude.

I consider Social Distancing a lifestyle.

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Response to Magoo48 (Reply #4)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:42 PM

9. +1

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Response to Magoo48 (Reply #4)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:49 PM

10. I'm with you, Magoo!

My daughter just texted to say that my lifestyle finally has caught on.

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Response to Magoo48 (Reply #4)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 11:59 PM

58. In this line n/t

 

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:37 PM

5. Kind of. I don't go out much anyhow, so this isn't all that much of a hardship for me.

I do like to have lunch at a local bistro and I've cut that out, and there are a couple of classes I go to that have been canceled and that I'll be sorry to miss, but otherwise I don't really mind staying at home by myself.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #5)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:51 PM

11. My morning trips to the

Y pool have been put on hold thanks to my families suggestion.

I think I am in a bowl of chlorine with few around.

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #11)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:20 PM

45. I'm a real loner, but I just gave up my water aerobics classes at the Y, too. I miss them

already! I've been walking around the neighborhood for my exercise, but it's not nearly as fun. I miss my pool ladies.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:38 PM

6. I never knew my disabled lifestyle would come in handy O.o?

Sooooo after the toilet paper fiasco and the response of governments worldwide, my lack of faith in others seems justified.

/grumprantoff

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:40 PM

7. I don't think it's strange really, but I'm so glad I don't have that anxiety.

My anxiety is over not getting a paycheck and being unable to pay rent.

...but being home alone with my two cats is very soothing for me (and they like it too).

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Response to liberalla (Reply #7)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:11 PM

29. My cats are my comfort in life

I hugged one of them at 3:00 a.m. as I was still awake and she wanted to go to bed.

I hugged her gently and said, "If it weren't for you, I would not care any more for it is you, and caring for you, that gives me will to live. I will never abandon you, never."

To death to we part my dearest friends!



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Response to CountAllVotes (Reply #29)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:28 PM

34. That is so sweet.❤

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Response to dewsgirl (Reply #34)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:15 PM

42. ❤ Thank you ❤

n/t

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:40 PM

8. A little bit.

We're kind of naturally distanced out here anyway. The big difference is that when I went to the store the obvious few items being totally wiped out. I think all gatherings will start shutting down if they haven't already. I only went to the store on the edge of town and didn't see much. Looks like everybody went shopping and now they are slowly going home for a spell.

Looks like some of the folks from elsewhere who own trophy homes around here showed up too. Just what we need, when they get sick and need the hospital, guess who gets in first, not the locals.

It turned wintery all of a sudden on Friday, high of +18F today and 8" of fresh snow. I had no place to go anyway. They say it will be +50F again come Tuesday.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:52 PM

12. Yeah. I am reclusive by nature. This is no hardship for me at all. nt

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #12)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:54 PM

13. yup

heh, maybe it is us who are strange.....I am much more comfortable being alone

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:55 PM

14. Finally, I will be normal.

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Response to emmaverybo (Reply #14)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:00 PM

16. Never, never be that..

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #16)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 12:23 AM

62. Damn right. Forgot that.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 07:59 PM

15. I suspect many DU regulars, especially those who post frequently, are introverts. DU is what we

do instead of hanging out with groups of people in restaurants and bars or at parties.

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #15)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:00 PM

17. I agree wholeheartedly...

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #15)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:29 PM

35. You are spot on.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:10 PM

18. I just hate the phrase "social distancing".

Last edited Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:31 PM - Edit history (1)

I found it depressing the first time I heard it. I would rather hear people say "limit your exposure to others" even though that is more of a mouthful and means the same thing.

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Response to skypilot (Reply #18)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:11 PM

19. cautious aquaintincing?

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #19)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:14 PM

20. I can work with that.

In fact, I consider myself a bit of a loner but I don't think I distance myself socially. I am cautious in making acquaintances, so your suggestion works for me.

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Response to skypilot (Reply #18)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 12:01 AM

59. me too

what about "expanding personal space" instead?

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Response to Kali (Reply #59)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 09:28 AM

68. Yes. Another good suggestion.

*

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:30 PM

21. I've been alone all weekend

Kitteh in my lap is all the company I need. If I werenít married or retired, I could be self-sufficient for lengthy periods of time.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:40 PM

22. I am SANE !!!

('Member that guy from the asylum in the movie The Big Red One?)

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Response to Iggo (Reply #22)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:41 PM

23. Das krieg ist zu ende...

I can remember the testicle scene and the birth scene, but not that one.

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #23)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 08:50 PM

24. The Germans were all set up at an insane asylum.

The American platoon happened upon the place, infiltrated, and a firefight happened.

During the firefight, one of the insane guys grabbed a machine gun and started blasting away, shouting "I am SANE!", the lesson being that the world had gone so insane that insane was the new normal.

(Pretty sure it was The Big Red One, but I've seen a million war movies and I could be wrong about that.)

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Response to Iggo (Reply #24)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:00 PM

25. Tunisia.. it might have been when they were in Tunisia?

It's been 20 years my memory is good, but not THAT good.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:07 PM

26. I get criticized by certain family members for largely being a loner

One brother in particular. I noticed heís shut his trap about that the last couple times I talked with him. Anyway it doesnít seem like much of a hardship, or even that much of an adjustment so far. Though if it goes on for months it might even start bothering me.

I do appreciate DU for having some interaction with other, largely like minded people.

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Response to captain queeg (Reply #26)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:12 PM

39. When you are in good company alone, you don't need much more

other than I really like my husband and stacks of books 😉

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Response to captain queeg (Reply #26)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 02:19 AM

65. Try being a woman who's a loner

 

We get treated like we're some kind of freaks because we don't conform to the stereotype of women as more social.

Being a loner means that things that "typical" women do confound me. Mani-pedi? Girls Night Out? WTF is the purpose of all that? I don't get the appeal, and even when I've been dragged into doing that, to mollify someone who insists, I've still been confounded at why women want to do things like that--together. When I was 30 years old, I still had no idea why women always wanted to go to the bathroom with me. What the hell...? My thought process was, Do they want me to wipe for them, or what? Do your business, get out! My ex-MIL explained to me at last that the purpose of going to the bathroom together was to gossip, usually about each other's dates or husbands. I had no idea that's what it was about. I had missed the memo about it because I avoided the "traditional" socialization.

Then again, my mother and her friends were shocked that I could do things that they feared doing, like go to movies or eat at a restaurant by myself--when I was 10 years old. Heck, I went to a movie by myself during vacation in a city I'd never been to before, and it didn't faze me in the least. I had just turned 11 when I did that. Everyone else wanted to go to one movie, but I wanted to go to another. So I did. What's the big deal?

Many years later, my mother told me that she had been frightened when I insisted on doing things without supervision or companionship, because of course she feared someone would try to nab me or hurt me. At the same time, though, she had envied me for being confident enough to want to handle life on my own, and for how I didn't need others to be comfortable in my own skin, with my own thoughts.

Of course, being a woman loner also wreaks havoc on the dating life. Our independence and need to be alone either frightens men, or, dumbest of all, makes them see our need to be alone as a "sign" that we don't care about them because we aren't always available to them at the drop of a hat like too many of them expect or demand. Too many of them see our self-sufficiency or aloofness as playing hard to get, then they're frustrated and angry when they can't break us of our need to do our own thing--alone. Then comes all those uncomfortable scenes of being accused of infidelity when we're doing our own thing, of not caring enough.

Some men seem to have this belief that a girlfriend or wife is supposed to become the social directors of their life, overseeing the maintenance of all their family and work colleague bonds, cultivating all those connections in the background to get them ahead or make them look good with their boss, or keep them as a favored son in a family, or whatever social expectations they have of us. And we don't play that game, either, which pisses them off.

My love life got much better when I started rejecting all the extroverted challenge seekers that glommed onto me all the time, and instead bided my time to find another introvert. I was miserable until I hooked up with my own kind. We've been married for 22 years now, and still going strong. Like me, my husband wanted to live a quiet life, and was eager to be independent of his family. We both feel understood and accepted as we are. It's such a relief not to be pushed into social nonsense all the time. It's a relief not to have to explain myself all the time, or justify what I was up to when I've done something alone. I feel trusted here, and respected.

My poor husband, though, is having to take the brunt of interacting with the outside world during this coronavirus insanity, to protect me, and I feel bad about that. I'm a housewife, so my "job" is handling our domestic life while he's at work. That's included all those things like grocery shopping, general shopping, dealing with the credit union and post office, going to the dry cleaners and all the dozens of other little errands outside the home that I handle, week in and week out, that takes some of the burden off him. I feel like I'm failing us, somehow... I mean, I know it can't be helped, but still--handling such things was my "job." For now, I'll have to be content with taking care of the house, being our finance manager (we do nearly everything online now), planning all the meals and keeping straight all the errands that need doing when. I guess I'll get in more reading since I'll be at home more. So I'll try to see that as a positive.

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Response to Aquaria (Reply #65)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 06:09 AM

67. I read an article by a guy who took an assignment in Switzerland

He said all this group hanging out and partying is foisted on us by the commercials we are swamped by. Over there it was fine to mind your own business, not get gabby with someone at the coffee pot or just stay in your own space. He found it very refreshing and I think I would too.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:07 PM

27. Yep. I know I won't get cabin fever.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:08 PM

28. Standard operating procedure for me

I never have been into social stuff. I guess that's kind of strange being I'm a performer.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:14 PM

30. Can't wait to get to my wilderness fire lookout this summer ..

Where two people hiking up a trail a mile away is a ďdamned crowd.Ē

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Response to DemoTex (Reply #30)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:48 PM

37. oh THERE you are

respond to the questions I sent you, my on-and-of bf ex-fighter pilot asking about it!

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Response to DemoTex (Reply #30)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:21 PM

46. Lucky you!

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Response to DemoTex (Reply #30)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 12:03 AM

60. ...

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:17 PM

31. I was described as a loner at a caucus training. Me?

Social distancing will give me temporary cover I guess. Must admit close to zero change in my daily routine.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:25 PM

32. Yes, it won't kill them, it's like they physically cannot do it.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 09:39 PM

36. Party at Skittles place!









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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:00 PM

38. Hahaha! I love DemoTex 's reponse.

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Response to love_katz (Reply #38)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:13 PM

40. did you see the picture he posted recently?

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Response to Skittles (Reply #40)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:16 PM

43. Oh, my!

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #43)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:18 PM

44. when is he going to address THAT issue

lots of DUers swooning over that picture!

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Response to Skittles (Reply #40)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:23 PM

47. Ooh la la!!

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Response to Nay (Reply #47)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:24 PM

48. Mac was the original TOP GUN

yes INDEED

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Response to Skittles (Reply #40)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 11:32 PM

69. Oh, my! Swoon indeed!

Thank you for sharing the link to the post.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:15 PM

41. I'm good with it as long as I don't have to distance from my dog.

And he likes his space too.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:24 PM

49. I've been living alone for a little over 2 years now

and am quite content. BUT, I deliberately moved to a high rise apartment building downtown so I could walk to everything, especially concerts, the ballet, and live theater. ACK! So, now here I am wishing I were living someplace with fewer people around only so I could at least enjoy nature while practicing "social distancing".

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:26 PM

50. I am what I would call a semi-loner.

My job as a peds nurse practitioner is social by nature, and, the current viral shit storm notwithstanding, I have generally enjoyed it. It does get draining, talking non-stop for hours each day. Unlike everyone else in the office, I eat lunch by myself in the charting room - I need a little alone time to clear the decks from the morning before starting up doing the same thing for several more hours in the afternoon.

I am not a fan of gatherings that require me to be in a room full of people I donít know. Left to my own devices, I would happily stand against a wall for the duration of such an event and observe.

I sometimes wish I were brave enough to canvass for political candidates I support. Iím not - knocking on doors of strangers would be my idea of torture, and I would suck at it. Instead, I do data entry from the walk lists from those who do like knocking on doors.

I donít have a ďbest friendĒ with whom I regularly go to lunch, or whatever. A former next door neighbor, with whom I am very close, moved away about 4 years ago, and Iíve not found a successor, so to speak. I can be content by myself for hours. I donít feel neglected when my husband spends time in his man cave building models.

The down side I noted to this was an scary episode last August when I developed a rapid heart rate that didnít settle down. My husband was out of town, and I realized that I couldnít think of anyone to call to drive me to the ER - I thought it prudent not to drive myself. After several minutes of consideration, I took a chance and called someone from my Unitarian Universalist congregation and she was more than willing to come to my rescue. It did give me pause about being too alone.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #50)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:27 PM

51. I hear you

but remember that, in an emergency, even casual friends will help - I know because I have often been that acquaintance

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:28 PM

52. lol. I am feeling like I am being deprived though every weekend I stay in house

even though I tell myself to get out there, because i like being in my house. I hear you.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:38 PM

53. Lol

Itís great for introverts and reducing rates of transmission.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:42 PM

54. Been this way for decades. At this point, I'm a total genius at amusing myself!

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Response to fierywoman (Reply #54)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 10:45 PM

55. I feel sorry for people who cannot stand their own company

that must be horrible

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 01:10 AM

64. I do too. I'm very grateful to my mother for having encouraged me to amuse myself from

a very young age.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2020, 11:05 PM

56. I get it that it's hard for others

But for me? I mean yeah, some logistical issues, but I thrive on alone time. I got my books, streaming services, cat... I can text and do social media when I want interaction. Iím good 🙂

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 12:08 AM

61. Some of it can be incredibly strange

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 12:56 AM

63. Hah!1 Actually, have been thinking how ahead of the curve I've been!1

Didn't really think of myself as a loner or of *you*/Skit as such - yet now that I review things *do* think this is part of the affinity I've developed for you, although you will probably DENY such a thing!1

Ahead of the curve: Says it for me. In more topics than just loner-ism over a lifetime.


***********ON EDIT: Just saw your *swoon* over somebody. Am letting that sit awhile.





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Response to UTUSN (Reply #63)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 11:39 PM

71. you know that expression always a bridesmaid, never a bride?

I have been neither

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 03:08 AM

66. Practice makes perfect...

been training for years to handle this moment in time.

Just like the song, always alone, even with someone we love.

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Response to Wounded Bear (Reply #66)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 11:37 PM

70. to me it just feels like.....

people are having to live like me

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Tue Mar 17, 2020, 12:28 AM

72. I'm fine with all of this.

I self isolate all the time. I do feel bad for the Italians and Spaniards who are in lockdown. Theyíre such social cultures, this must be very hard for them.

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Response to Skittles (Original post)

Tue Mar 17, 2020, 03:56 PM

73. Welcome to OUR world!

As a loner, nothing has changed for me.

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Response to shanti (Reply #73)

Tue Mar 17, 2020, 04:30 PM

74. yup

except seeing everything closing, socially I am exactly the same

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