Quoth the Raven?
I have had a number of sightings of posts on social media featuring a video of "X reads the Raven," so I couldn't resist digging this up from the dustbin of history:
"The Spaniel" by Edgar, Al, & Moe (From Mad Magazine)
"Once upon a midnight cautious, while I pondered, weak and nauseous,
Over some advertising copy I had wrote for Macy's store -
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping,
As of someone loudly yapping, yapping at my office door.
'Tis some client there,' I muttered,'yapping at my office door -
only this and nothing more.'
Then I felt my terror worsen, for my guest was not a person!
In there stepped a cocker spaniel, naturally I jumped in fear.
Tried to climb an oaken panel, ripping there my new grey flannel,
But the spaniel merely stood there, speaking out with voice so clear -
Speaking out like Jack Lescoulie, in a voice both loud and clear -
Quoth the spaniel - 'Drink Blatz Beer!'
How I marveled this ungainly dog who did commercials plainly;
How he spoke the message clearly; selling points he underscored.
For I could not help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet could mouth a slogan without sounding
Slightly bored -
Most announcers being human, can't help sounding
slightly bored -
Quoth the spaniel, 'Buy a Ford!'
Thus this dog with voice like Murrow made my heavy
brow unfurl;
Thoughts of fortunes I could make now made me shake
down to my knees.
But the spaniel set me grieving then by turning tail
and leaving.
Naturally, I begged him tarry, crying out, 'Stay
with me, please!'
Chasing him along the hallway, crying out, 'Stay
with me, please!'
Quoth the spaniel, 'Eat Kraft Cheese!'"
-- Mal
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