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Tue Oct 1, 2019, 02:55 PM

HALLOWEEN !!! Don't we love October.

My wife felt like she'd seen a new caring considerate side to me after I spent the day making treats for the Halloween callers yesterday.

I really hope they appreciated my home made toffee onions.

... ... ... ... ... ...

I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.

It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Halloween is easily the scariest night of the year, what with the dead rising from their graves...

and fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Last Halloween there was a knock on the door. I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, "Honey there's a witch at the door. What shall I do?"

She shouted back, "Just give her some candy and tell her to get lost."

My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had bat breath

Whatís it like to be kissed by a vampire?
Itís a pain in the neck.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

What is an optimistic vampireís favorite drink?
B Positive.

What are ghosts' favourite streets?
Dead ends

Who are some of the were-wolves cousins?
The What-wolves and the When-wolves.

What happens when two vampires meet?
Itís love at first bite!

Read more at https://www.theholidayspot.com/halloween/jokes.htm#bsEJf7EMFb3cRtu1.99
This is the DU member formerly known as trueblue2007.

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