HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » The DU Lounge (Forum) » So the ex and I are talki...

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 04:22 AM

So the ex and I are talking.....

My lease is up Aug 31st. So I am out looking for some place to live. And the ex is too.

He is making some good points. And I hate that he is.

Wish Trooper didn't like him. But Trooper seems to like people.

And he noticed I still wear the ring. Uh, yeah. It helps me to remember to not give my heart out, to not get hurt.

11 replies, 835 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 11 replies Author Time Post
Reply So the ex and I are talking..... (Original post)
Lady Freedom Returns Aug 2019 OP
zanana1 Aug 2019 #1
Lady Freedom Returns Aug 2019 #2
CommonSenseMom Aug 2019 #3
KY_EnviroGuy Aug 2019 #4
Lady Freedom Returns Aug 2019 #9
Croney Aug 2019 #5
PJMcK Aug 2019 #6
Callalily Aug 2019 #7
Lady Freedom Returns Aug 2019 #10
cwydro Aug 2019 #8
Wounded Bear Aug 2019 #11

Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 04:50 AM

1. Danger! Danger!

I'm going to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong right now. Your ex is your ex for a reason. It would be more convenient for you two to move in together and less expensive, but think about what it would do to your heart and your head. Peace.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to zanana1 (Reply #1)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 05:41 AM

2. I know. He's done a number on me in the past

And that's why I'm hesitant to jump in on this. And since financially, right now, I don't bring much of anything to the table.

And the question "why is he so worried about my welfare?" keeps jumping around my head.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Reply #2)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 05:50 AM

3. the bait & switch

Don't do it. Listen to your gut. If you need a roommate, there are better ways to find one. Don't let him talk you into it.

Sorry, but better side with caution. I've been burned too many times by people who, when they want something, tell you all the right things, then switch back to old habits once they've gotten what they wanted.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 06:04 AM

4. Just curious...

If you really need to partner with someone for sake of paying the bills, why would you consider the ex - for whom you probably still have emotional bonds and may not be logical in your thinking (describes me to a tee)?

Perhaps open your mind up and consider other options.....

Big DU hugs.....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to KY_EnviroGuy (Reply #4)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 08:59 AM

9. He's the one that brought it up.

I'm just trying to figure out what he's up to, being so "worried" about me..... When it comes to this guy, you want to keep both eyes on him.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 06:10 AM

5. I'm also going to stick my nose where it's none of my business.

The ring? You still wear the WEDDING RING? He knows he still has a puppet on a string.

I'd sooner cut off my finger than have my ex's ring stuck on it.

However, if you wear it because you love him and you plan to reconcile and start anew by moving in together, I wish you the best of luck. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 06:47 AM

6. As a twice-divorced man, may I offer a few observations?

First, lose the ring! In fact, sell it. I stopped wearing my rings as soon as it was clear the relationships were over. These were not acts of "single-hood" but rather acts of freedom. There is no stronger symbol of marriage than a ring. Set yourself free. I sold my wedding bands for 25% of what they cost but so what? They were symbols of the past and of failures and I don't need that in my life. As Jackson Browne wrote in his song "These Days," "Don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them."

Second, I assume Trooper is your dog. You wrote, "Trooper seems to like people." There are lots and lots of other people for Trooper to be friendly with. As another poster wrote, you and your ex split for very good reasons. Try to remember them! Pets remember people who were kind to them but they don't know the complexities of your relationship with the ex. Trust me, there are lots of people for you to have meaningful relationships with, (not even necessarily romantic ones), and Trooper will like them, too.

Third, your ex may be trying to manipulate you by "making some good points." Remember that he knows your soft spots and buttons, just as you (consciously or not) know his. Don't let him put you in a position where you lose your independence: that's why you split in the first place!

Lastly, I strongly admire your desire to remember to not give your heart to anyone who doesn't deserve it. You might get hurt in a new relationship because letting go is part of falling in love. However, you already know how your ex has hurt you. Don't give him that power over you again because he's already proven he's unworthy of your trust.

In closing, I'm a romantic and I got married for the third time several months ago. My new wife has been a friend for 40 years and we were totally surprised when we started falling in love. One big reason we get along so well is that we already know one another's strengths and weaknesses; there weren't many surprises between us. Our mutual goal is to be straight up and honest with one another and that keeps the little things from escalating. As a result, we're having the times of our lives together! There's hope for happiness and I encourage you to be open to new adventures.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 07:21 AM

7. I echo those who have posted before me!

Remember your Post titled: I just got kicked out of a ten year relationship?

Think with your head not with your heart. If a reconciliation is in the horizon, go slowly!

Wishing you good luck on your decision. It's a difficult one.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Callalily (Reply #7)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:06 AM

10. Oh, I remember. I remember it too well.

That's what got me wondering what is he up to!
First lending me $250 for rent not long ago and now this.
What is this rattlesnake up to?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 08:53 AM

8. Bad idea.

Donít do it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Aug 13, 2019, 09:44 AM

11. My sister ran into one of her exes a couple of years ago...

ended up marrying her and moving to Arizona. They seem to be fairly happy.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread