"Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter"? Not as far-fetched as one might think.

[Aristus]

The cinematic Abe Lincoln battles vicious parasites who prosper by exploiting the life-essence of innocent people.

Yep, pretty much what the real Abe Lincoln did...



"...so I looked that blood-sucker right in the eye and said: 'Don't fuck with The Railsplitter!'...

[Baby Bear]

1. Now It All Makes Sense

Although I have not seen the movie, I have read a synopsis of the novel on which it is based. I find this interpretation of history to be compelling, and the modern political scene can more easily be understood in this context.

The vampires were not destroyed by the Civil War, they went underground and changed their tactics. They became more subtle. From their base in the American South, they worked their way into control of the Republican Party, exploiting people's fears and prejudices.

The cruel and callous words and policies of Republican leaders make sense if they are vampires. Mitch McConnell looks like he could use an infusion of blood.