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Sat Apr 14, 2018, 12:36 PM

"worst hotel guest ever" pardoned after 17 years


https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/14/world/canada/sea-gulls-fairmont-empress-victoria-nick-burchill-pepperoni.html

My room was a nice, big, front-facing room on the fourth floor. It was well appointed, but it did not have a refrigerator. It was April, the air was chilly. An easy way to keep all of this food cool would be just to keep it next to an open window. I lifted one of the sashes and spread the packages of pepperoni out on the table and window sill. Then, I went for a walkÖ..for about 4 or 5 hours.

When I had covered enough ground, I returned to the hotel. I remember walking down the long hall and opening the door to my room to find an entire flock of seagulls in my room. I didnít have time to count, but there must have been 40 of them and they had been in my room, eating pepperoni for a long time.

In case you were wondering, Brothersí TNT Pepperoni does NASTY things to a seagullís digestive system. As you would expect, the room was covered in seagull crap. What I did not realize until then was that Seagulls also drool. Especially when they eat pepperoni.

Iím sure you have an image in your head. Now remember that I have just walked into the room and startled all of these birds. They immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered.

Less composed seagulls are attempting to leave through the other CLOSED windows. The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room. The lamps were falling. The curtains were trashed. The coffee tray was just disgusting.

I waded through the birds and opened the remaining windows. Most of the gulls left immediately. One tried to re-enter the room to grab another piece of pepperoni and in my agitated state, I took off one of my shoes and threw it at him.


https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156523301334739&set=a.10150885243919739.471335.523144738&type=3&theater

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Reply "worst hotel guest ever" pardoned after 17 years (Original post)
Demovictory9 Apr 2018 OP
rusty quoin Apr 2018 #1
central scrutinizer Apr 2018 #2
Ron Obvious Apr 2018 #3
red dog 1 Apr 2018 #4

Response to Demovictory9 (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2018, 12:50 PM

1. Joe Walsh and Keith Moon could not have done better.

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Response to Demovictory9 (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2018, 01:37 PM

2. I've stayed there

It's famous for its afternoon high tea

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Response to central scrutinizer (Reply #2)

Sat Apr 14, 2018, 02:07 PM

3. As have I

And as it doesn't have any AC either, I could so easily have seen myself do the exact same thing this guest did. I had no idea that seagulls were fiends for pepperoni.

We still have our tea service we bought at the Empress, to be used only on special occasions.

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Response to Demovictory9 (Original post)

Sat Apr 14, 2018, 06:35 PM

4. HUGE K&R!

Absolutely hilarious!

[Could be the funniest DU Lounge post I ever read]

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