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Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:49 PM

Name a song that doesn't exist. I'll start.

Starboard Guava

34 replies, 4235 views

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Reply Name a song that doesn't exist. I'll start. (Original post)
LuckyCharms Jan 2018 OP
applegrove Jan 2018 #1
The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2018 #2
LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #3
LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #4
MontanaMama Jan 2018 #5
LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #6
Ohiogal Jan 2018 #7
madamesilverspurs Jan 2018 #8
Lint Head Jan 2018 #9
A HERETIC I AM Jan 2018 #10
The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2018 #11
Beartracks Jan 2018 #32
longship Jan 2018 #34
pressbox69 Jan 2018 #12
LeftInTX Jan 2018 #13
True Dough Jan 2018 #14
Shrike47 Jan 2018 #15
Glorfindel Jan 2018 #16
elehhhhna Jan 2018 #17
MissMillie Jan 2018 #18
Wolf Frankula Jan 2018 #19
Ken Burch Jan 2018 #21
Ken Burch Jan 2018 #20
Ken Burch Jan 2018 #22
Ken Burch Jan 2018 #23
DFW Jan 2018 #24
red dog 1 Jan 2018 #30
Ohiya Jan 2018 #25
red dog 1 Jan 2018 #26
samnsara Jan 2018 #27
Yonnie3 Jan 2018 #28
LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #29
Beartracks Jan 2018 #31
MLAA Jan 2018 #33

Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:53 PM

1. Da da dadada- whoo whoo whoo whoo!

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:54 PM

2. "Come Titillate My Hypothalamus" by The Nostrils

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:55 PM

3. Nasal Basal and His Nine Naughty Nose Pickers.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:56 PM

4. Get Yer Tongue Offa Mah Dog, Yuh Filthy Swine.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:57 PM

5. Tangeranus Blues.

😜

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 09:58 PM

6. You Broke My Heart, So I Spray Painted Your Mother.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 10:12 PM

7. A-Sinkin' and A-Swirlin' by Joe Flush and The Commodes

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 10:26 PM

8. "Orange Jumpsuit Blues"

by Trumpence and the Faketones



.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 10:40 PM

9. Guacamole in My Shoes

Before you refuse
Criticize and abuse
Guacamole in my shoes

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 10:45 PM

10. You're the slimey coating on the dumpster of my life

From the album "The Slick pavement behind every restaurant" by "The Grease Spots"

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 10:45 PM

11. Tupperware Goddess

Last edited Sat Jan 27, 2018, 02:57 AM - Edit history (3)

High On Nyquil
Peel My Tangerines
I Love You But You Make Me Itch
Locked In The Basement With You
Don't Lick My Turtle Any More
Feel Me, Grandma

From the album "Total Nose" by Elmo and the Polyps

Tupperware Goddess

Goddess holding moldy meat
Plastic, slippery, cold and neat
Sturdy lids that tightly seat
Tupperware is her name

She's got the stuff I'll never eat
The casseroles that smell like feet
Dishes I shall not repeat
Tupperware is her name

Tupper, Tupper, Tupperware
I shall find her everywhere
She's my goddess, Tupperware
Tupper, Tupper, Tupperware
Tup, tup, tup, tup, Tupperware!

High on Nyquil

Little red bottle
Or maybe it's green
It's sticky and sweet
In the little plastic cup
And I get high, high, high
High on Nyquil

Cheaper than booze
My little green bottle
Or maybe it's red
I don't have to smoke it
And I get high, high, high
High on Nyquil

High on Nyquil
Nothing better
Drink from the little red bottle
Or maybe it's green
And I get high, high, high
High on Nyquil

Peel My Tangerines

Peel! Peel! Peel my tangerines.
Peel! Peel! Peel!
My tangerines, all orange and shiny!
Peel! Peel! Peel!
My tangerines are never tiny!
Peel! Peel! Peel!

Unwrap them, lap them, peel them bare
Peel them, feel them everywhere
Tangerines are large and round
Orange and slippery by the pound!
Love my lovely citrus sweeties
Love them on my face and feeties!

Peel! Peel! Peel my tangerines.
Peel! Peel! Peel!
My tangerines, all fat and orange!
Peel! Peel! Peel!
Nothing ever rhymes with orange!
Peel! Peel! Peel!

I Love You But You Make Me Itch

Touch me, touch me, fondle me
Make me feel your love
But because you make me itch
You have to wear your gloves.

Cover me with calamine
After that I'll make you mine
When I'm with you I feel so rich
But wear your gloves, you make me itch.

I get a rash and hives and bumps
And welts and wens and warts and lumps.
You make me flaky, red and crusty
Hot and itchy, hot and lusty.

Cover me with calamine
After that I'll make you mine
When I'm with you I feel so rich
But now you know: you make me itch.

Locked In The Basement With You

I don't know how I got here
Down in the basement with spiders and dust
And I can't get out, the door is locked
And it's dark.
But here you are
I'm locked in the basement with you
And I don't know why
But I like it
I like it in the dark with the spiders and dust
I like being locked in the basement with you.

I don't know how long we will be here
Down in the basement with spiders and dust
They won't let us out, the door is locked
And it's dark.
But we're both here
We're locked in the basement together
We'll never know why
We'll be here together forever
In the dark with the spiders and dust
But I like it.
I like it in the dark with the spiders and dust
I like being locked in the basement with you.

Don't Lick My Turtle Any More

I saw you licking my turtle.
You took him out of his bowl
With the little plastic palm tree.
He hid in his shell
But you licked him anyhow.
Don't lick my turtle any more.

I saw you licking my dog.
You saw him sleeping on the couch
Where he isn't supposed to be.
He growled at you
But you licked him anyhow.
Don't lick my dog any more.

I saw you licking my cat.
You found her sitting at the window
Chattering at the birds.
She hissed at you
But you licked her anyhow.
Don't lick my cat any more.

You licked my dog
You licked my cat
But the worst thing you did was
You licked my turtle.
Turtles carry salmonella.
You won't lick my turtle any more.

Feel Me, Grandma

Feel me, Grandma
Sit me in your rocking chair and feel me.
Feel me, Grandma
Beat me with your cane and then feel me.

You're ancient and wrinkly and gray
You pour Geritol on your prunes
You play bingo at the church every day
You watch Lawrence Welk reruns
But I love it when you feel me.

Feel me, Grandma
Stomp me with your walker and feel me.
Feel me, Grandma
Beat me with your cane and then feel me.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #11)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 06:01 PM

32. Wow. You've got yourself an album!

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #11)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 07:00 PM

34. Holy shit!

Somebody's taken this "song that never existed" stuff pretty far.

Let's just say, put me on the list for a copy of the CD when it's released.

Oh! BTW. When is "opera that never existed" going to be performed at The Met? I'd go for that, too.



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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 11:07 PM

12. Dance Of The Wild Blue Yonders

by Dondi and the Liars

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 11:26 PM

13. LeftInTX Has a Clean House

Substitute LeftInTX with my real name, of which I am the only one in the entire world and that song will never exist.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 11:37 PM

14. I am going to record all the songs in this thread

and become rich and famous. Or not!

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Fri Jan 26, 2018, 11:53 PM

15. I dont need no man to buy me a doublewide.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 12:05 AM

16. Please Don't Feed the Thestrals, Darling Draco

I Got Yer Pompatus of Love Right Here

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 06:52 AM

17. Plastic on my bottom, by Marianna Trench

 

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 07:42 AM

18. Morning Wood

I hope that's right

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 02:56 PM

19. Real Performers, Nonexistent songs.

Johnny Cash: Fire From the Sky

Donovan Leitch: Erainilorna

Mighty Sparrow: No Compromise

Meredith Brooks: Bamas

Bob Dylan: I'm a Jew Again

The Concordia College Choir: Forward, Forward Dear New Kaapland

Keith Moon: Goose Goose Duck

Ice-T: Crack Crack, Munny Munny

Wolf

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Response to Wolf Frankula (Reply #19)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 03:21 PM

21. Axl Rose: 'I'm Cool with Blacks, Gays, and Immigrants"

 

Anita Bryant: Ain't Gonna Judge

Meryl Haggard: I Smoked It In Muskogee

Pat Boone: Jesus Was a Red

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 03:17 PM

20. "(Let Me Be) Your Life Coach."

 

n/t.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 03:23 PM

22. "I Make Sure My Groupies Get Home Safely".

 

n/t.

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 03:25 PM

23. "Face With Few Pimples"

 

"Marching Song Of The Mall Walkers".

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 04:04 PM

24. I know several (the melodies escape me just now)

You Light Up My Loaf

Norwegian Wad

I want To Hold Your Hankie

Fifty Ways To Leave Your Loafers

By the Time I Get To Forensics

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Response to DFW (Reply #24)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 05:53 PM

30. lol

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 04:44 PM

25. "I cannot tell a lie"...

by D. Trump

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 05:26 PM

26. I Don't Want Trump To Die, I Just Want Him To Go Away

by The Majority of Voters

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 05:26 PM

27. everybody loves trump

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 05:43 PM

28. Single from 1965 - Gutless Cowboy

the flip side was Intestines on the Prairie

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 05:48 PM

29. Someone Shaved My Wife Tonight-Elton John

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 06:00 PM

31. "No More Pain, Mary Jane"

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Response to LuckyCharms (Original post)

Sat Jan 27, 2018, 06:34 PM

33. Ring on my finger and time on my hands

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