10 Things I Plan to Tell My Daughter About Sex That Aren't That Purity Movement Crap

[TexasTowelie]

Against my better judgment I've been doing a lot of reading on the purity movement. If you've never been exposed to it, then I'll explain. The idea is basically that you, as a father, are supposed to serve as the sole male influence in your daughter's life until she gets married. You "guard her heart (and vagina)" because only you can be trusted with it. Certainly she can't. If God wanted women to be in charge of their genitals or feelings he wouldn't have let them be born in Texas.

You go to these weird balls where you dance with your daughter like it's a prom and you give her a ring very like a wedding ring. The term "emotional incest" gets thrown around a lot by detractors, and is the second most horrifying phrase I've learned this year after "glue fic." Then you hand off your little girl to your approved suitor who then acts exactly like you did except plus sex.

Better writers than I, like Libby Anne, have tackled the subject in depth, and you should spend an afternoon reading her work. She went through it as a daughter of movement, though. I'm a dad, and I am perfectly aware that the sexual health of this child is going to be part of my job. I'm not looking forward to it, to tell the truth, but if the alternative is fetishizing chastity while giving Oedipus a handie then by God I'm going in full guns blazing.

Here are the ten things I know I need to tell a modern girl about sex once she matures enough to roll her eyes throughout the conversation.

The list is at http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2013/07/daughter_purity_movement.php?ref=trending .

[murielm99]

1. That is a very good article.

My girls are grown and married, but I am glad I took the time to read it.

That purity movement crap makes me sick. It IS sick.

My husband did not say much to my girls about sex. But he did set a good example as a father, and as my husband and partner. My girls grew up to respect themselves. I know they were sexually active before they married, but I think that is healthy and normal. I made sure they practiced safe sex and had birth control. I think that is more a parent's job than this chastity crap. However, if a young woman chooses chastity, I guess I would respect that choice, too, as long as it is hers and not forced on her.

[LittleGirl]

2. This guy gets it!

happy to K n R! Cheers.

[bemildred]

3. +1. nt

[d_r]

4. oh wow

I read that post, it was interesting, so I started following links from it. From Libby Anne's blog here http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/the-purity-culture (there are some really interesting posts there) I followed through a purity ball to the facebook page of this group
https://www.facebook.com/purityrevolution
and then I realized what I was looking at. Pictures of older kids making these purity presentations at public middle schools:

[d_r]

6. another that shows more of the presentation

at a middle school. the high school kids are presenting to the middle schoolers. I'm sure it is in health classes because of the posters on the walls in the classrooms.

[exboyfil]

5. I do find the purity movement creepy as hell

having two daughters. My wife wants me to do some of this with my daughters (15 almost 16 and 17). Frankly their sexuality (especially the 17 year olds) is their own business. I would like for them to wait for marriage, but I am not going to follow them around. What they do know is that I love them, and I will never stop loving them no matter what. Neither have dated. I suspect my older daughter will have the pick of the litter once she gets to college (she is majoring in Mechanical Engineering and will be starting her Junior year academically as a Freshman). She gets little peer pressure to date (few of her friends are dating). The younger one does have more peer pressure to date, but she, like my older one, is pretty choosy.

Good guidelines especially the parts about not being exploited. That is the theme I have with my daughters. They are their own persons - it does not matter who they date. They are going to build a skill set to earn a living for themselves (the younger is looking at med school). I interact with them most of the time I am not working (I am very involved in their education). I think they can come to me for most things (and if not they have each other which is a blessing since they are so close). They are aware of STDs and the risk of pregnancy (I actually Homeschooled health for my younger daughter and she went through a college nursing textbook as a 7th grader).

It is true that you imprint emotionally on those who you become intimate with. I hope that their first experience is with someone who is worthy.

[cyberswede]

7. GOod article - bookmarking...

'cause I'm sure I'll have to have this talk with my daughter sooner than I want to.

[TexasTowelie]

8. I'm glad that you find it useful.

I'm not married and have no children, but I saw how the article would come in handy for people that do have daughters.

[adirondacker]

11. I'm childless, but will make sure every one of my friends that do have kids reads this.

Thanks for posting!

[TexasTowelie]

14. You are welcome.

Please send to anyone you believe is interested.

[BlueMTexpat]

9. Thanks for posting! :)

[TexasTowelie]

10. You are welcome.

I hope the advice comes in handy.

[MrScorpio]

12. I love the article and that guy's writing style too

Thanks!

[TexasTowelie]

13. Advice that will be good for women

at any time of their lives. I'm glad to post the article and share.

[MicaelS]

15. I have always found the "purity" movement ESPECIALLY

Those "purity balls" creepy as hell.

[Hydra]

16. I don't have kids but this is good advice to everyone n/t