Hooked on Scaroin
Eric Zorn
Change of Subject
March 25, 2012
Watching primary election coverage last Tuesday evening, I noticed my fingernails and lips had taken on a bluish cast. I was short of breath, feeling disoriented and suffering from persistent dry mouth.
Luckily, my spin doctor was on call and able to gave me a swift diagnosis: Scaroin overdose.
Never heard of scaroin? Well, four years ago you'd never heard of hopium, either. Then my colleague John Kass identified it as the drug being peddled by then Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama — a mellowing narcotic named for Obama's relentless though unoriginal invocations of hope; a powerful political sedative that obliterated cynicism and left voters blissfully optimistic about the power of one man to transform and unite our nation.
Scaroin has nearly the opposite effect.
It's not smoked, snorted, inhaled or injected. Rather it's transmitted via stump speeches of Republican presidential candidates, notably the passages in which they attempt to scare voters with dystopian visions of the crumbling fascist nation that will be the United States of America if Obama is re-elected.
more
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-oped-0325-zorn-20120325,0,5050683.column
