F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Loses 14 Dogfights to 1917 Biplane

[EEO]

The F-35 is one of the most expensive weapons programs ever, and it is hard to see why we have spent so much money on it and will continue to do so for some time to come. Satire warning.

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Loses 14 Dogfights to 1917 Biplane

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The Pentagon announced today a new Lockheed Martin F-35 Joint Strike Fighter had lost over a dozen dogfights to a 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane. The June 18th engagements showed the World War I-era Sopwith Camel exhibited "superior maneuverability and fighting aptitude" compared to its F-35 opponent.

And...

Carter added, "The F-35 cannot do anything very well, so it was no surprise to us when the Sopwith Camel biplane whooped it in 14 consecutive dogfights."

TNA


A World War I-era 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane (Top Left) and a modern F-35 (Top Right) in their natural habitat - on the ground.

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

[uriel1972]

2. Sad thing is...

Money is still being spent on this.

[Maedhros]

4. What's even sadder is that Chinese Intelligence hacked U.S. defense contractors

and stole the plans for the F-35...

...and turned it into the FC-31, their fifth-generation stealth fighter (never mind that they didn't have first - fourth generation stealth fighters).

[bluedigger]

13. That's actually reassuring.

We should be able to get a fleet of Sopwith's up quickly enough to counter them.

[Fred Sanders]

3. This plane summarizes the financial cost of war and a corrupt American media.

[msongs]

5. it's true mission is to attack & loot the US treasury. it's doing great at that nt

[johnnypneumatic]

6. well Snoopy was the pilot after all

so the F-35 didn't have a chance

[KeepItReal]

7. F-35 cannon isn't functional yet and it has a blind spot behind the pilot

A Sopwith Camel in a close-in dogfight with a hapless F-35...

It's bad enough this trillion dollar farce got smoked in real life by F-16s it's supposed to replace.

[malthaussen]

10. I have a feeling the dog would lose to F-4s

Not that anyone would want to make that test.

-- Mal

[The Polack MSgt]

8. Satire, sure but the reality is more like horror

The contempt for our service members that the Congress and the defense contractors that have kept this gravy train rolling display is breathtaking.
$1000000000000 so far for an underpowered wallowing pig of a strike fighter.
Not capable of beating a block 40 2 seat F-16 trainer in aerial combat. (the current generation of the Falcon is block 60, and the operational aircraft are faster and lighter single seat models)
Cannot carry the air to ground payload of the F-15, and it's slower
Cannot loiter and survive in close air support like the A-10 and is also seriously under gunned compared the Warthog
Yet the JCS will replace all of these more capable air frames with this turd?
The potential loss of pilots is appalling enough, but military doctrine for the last 40 plus years assumes air superiority in the battle space, and with this P.O.S we will not be assured of having it.
How would our soldiers react if it's them hunkered down in holes while the enemy planes rain bombs on their heads?
Probably not much better than the Republican Guard did during DESERT STORM
Seriously, this is treasonous

[malthaussen]

9. Well, it's all about wing loading, you know.

Jets in general make lousy dogfighters. They make up for it with speed and missles. There has long been a belief among engineers that cannon are useless, but pilots seem to like having them, and they provide a nice security blanket even if they aren't used.

Yeah, I know the article is satire, and I also know the test pilot recently bitched about the F-35's lack of dogfighting ability. The point still stands. And there are enough things wrong with the F-35 boondoggle, that it's inability to dogfight is hardly the worst thing about it.

-- Mal

[The Polack MSgt]

11. Air Superiority - you fight with the Airframes you have not the ones you want

CAP/area denial is still a vital mission. Theoretical abilities limits and ideal (imaginary) aircraft aren't the point. No one is going to dog fight like Me 109s vs. P51s.
Speed vs. maneuver is an argument already settled - jets and missiles are the order of the day.
But from the article I read and the excerpts of the after action report available on line speak of slow turn in, low power to weight ratio, poor tracking and an inability to hold radar lock in aerobatic maneuver. Meat against the older TRAINER VERSION of the Falcon.
This turd is supposedly capable in all fighter-interceptor-deep strike-CAS roles and is shitty at all of them.
That was the point of my rant.

P.S - I would also love to see the F35 go against an F4 - just for giggles.
I love the Phantom even though the Weasels woke my ass up every morning back in George

[malthaussen]

12. Oh, I agree with you, mind.

The F-35 is such a dog it needs to be compassionately shot. I truly believe airframes that are 60 years old would fulfil their missions better. And in any reasonable conflict we might face (setting aside foofraws with Russia and China, which probably wouln't stay conventional very long), it probably doesn't matter one percent what we have flying. Pure numbers would tell, even if the equipment was wholly obsolete.

On edit: the NAS next door used to fly Tomcats and Orions -- the F-14s used to really rattle the windows. And I had a friend who worked on the early Orion FUBAR, so I always got a kick out of them defending us against Communism.
Now the base is closed and being re-purposed for drones. Not sure it's an improvement.

-- Mal

[Tatiana La Belle]

14. F-35 (Joint Strike Fighter) had too many cooks in the soup

The more companies and interests involved, the less possibility there is to unify design and structure.

[Wolf Frankula]

15. The Sopwith Camel is a better plane.

The Sopwith Camel is mostly made of wood and fabric. It has the radar signature of a large insect. It is all mechanical, making it immune to EMP weapons. It is easy to build, transport and fuel. It has a lower top speed than the F-35, and a lower operational ceiling, but is much quieter. It is so easy to fly it can be flown by a dog.

Wolf