New ad campaign portrays caregivers' call for help

[Omaha Steve]

Source: AP

By LAURAN NEERGAARD

WASHINGTON — A woman grips her car's steering wheel and silently lets out a scream as her frail father, on oxygen, coughs beside her and her kids play around in the back seat.

The frustration portrayed in an arresting new public service announcement is recognizable to millions of Americans who struggle to care for aging loved ones while holding down jobs, raising children and taking care of their own health.

"I take care of her, but who takes care of me?" says another one of the public service announcements from the nonprofit Ad Council, which is distributing the ads for TV, radio, print and online use. It's part of a major campaign from AARP and the Ad Council beginning Thursday to raise awareness of the impact of family caregiving as the nation rapidly grays — and to point overwhelmed families toward resources that may ease the strain.

"Most caregivers don't know where to turn for help," said AARP vice president Debra Whitman, whose own family has experienced caregiving twice, for her grandmother and her mother-in-law.

FULL story at link.


Read more: http://www.ajc.com/health/new-ad-campaign-portrays-1500103.html

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August 15, 2012 04:56 PM EDT


This undated frame screen shot from video, provided by AARP and the Ad Council, is from a new public service announcement illustrating the frustration that family members can feel as they struggle to care for aging loved ones while holding down jobs, raising children and taking care of their own health. The campaign, beginning Thursday, is to raise awareness of family caregivers and point them toward resources that may ease the strain. (AP Photo/AARP, Ad Council)


This undated ad, provided by AARP and the Ad Council, is from a new public service announcement illustrating the frustration that family members can feel as they struggle to care for aging loved ones while holding down jobs, raising children and taking care of their own health. The campaign, beginning Thursday, is to raise awareness of family caregivers and point them toward resources that may ease the strain. (AP Photo/AARP, Ad Council)

[handmade34]

1. thanks for posting...

I was caregiver for my late husband, while still having kids in the house and supporting the family...

I just flew up here to Michigan to sign papers and discuss with my Dad his options (including living with me) when he can no longer care for himself...

This is important stuff for anyone who may find themselves in this position

[riverwalker]

2. powerful

truely the unsung heros in this world.

[kas125]

3. Thanks for this, Sometimes it seems like nobody pays attention or cares at all

about those of us who are spending our lives caring for someone.

"I take care of her, but who takes care of me?" The answer to that is nobody. I've been taking care of my dad 24/7 for eight and a half years and feeling utterly helpless. I can't leave every day to go to a job, so I have no income, we live on what he gets. He's 83 and has congestive heart failure, prostate cancer and multiple myeloma (cancer of the blood plasma cells) for which he was getting treatment but two and a half months ago he refused to go back so he's just getting weaker and needs more help every day.

Just seeing that someone is talking about caregivers made me cry...

[irisblue]

4. ((kas))

you have my respect and best regards

[kas125]

6. Thank you, irisblue.

I do have four sisters, but they think "helping" means coming to visit a couple times a year for a few hours. It's frustrating and I've complained, asked them to help, told them what I need - just a few hours away once in a while without having to bribe my kids to come over or ask the neighbors to keep checking on him. I've asked them and their kids to put it on their calendar that they'll take the old guy out to lunch or a park three or four times a year. Anything, just so he has something to look forward to. But they don't do any of it and they get angry when I ask.

[jillan]

7. I have a special needs daughter - People just do not understand what we go through - and yet

I'm sure you hear this too - Why don't you just put her in a home?

People don't understand that there are those of us that love deeply enough that we would rather give up a part of ourselves to make sure our loved one receives the proper care and attention.

Enjoy your dad. I miss mine so much.

[kas125]

8. I actually heard it from one of my sisters when I asked for help a couple

years ago. My dad has been deaf since he was 22, but he got a job as a machinist in a steel mill and worked there for 45 years. He lipreads. He was married to my mom for 51 years before she died, raised five daughters, was an elder in his church, did everything. Half the people who've known him all his life have no idea that he can't hear. He's very independent (or thinks he still is and says he's "helping me", lol) or at least wants to be. He doesn't want to go anywhere, no hospitals, no nursing homes, he wants to die in the house that he worked so hard to get and I am not going to let anyone prevent that from being what happens!

[proReality]

9. You're not alone

Six years ago I began taking care of my parents in our home. Mom had Alzheimer's and died 4 years ago. My father (now 92) is going down hill somewhat physically, has dementia, and can't do much of anything for himself. Three years ago, my husband was diagnosed with a rare cancer. Our children are out of state, and I'm an only child, so there is no one but me to care both of them.

Not the life we planned for ourselves or expected, is it. I don't mind doing it, I just wish there were someone to come in now and again to give me a little break.

Hang in there and best of luck.

[kas125]

10. Big hugs to you from me! It is hard to do alone, I know.

I took care of my mother in law for seven years while she battled breast cancer, then my mom (but my sisters were here for that, except when they went on vacation together with their families two weeks before she died...) and now my dad. It's not the life I planned either, but somebody has to do it and since nobody else will help, it's me.

I've wished that we had a group for caregivers on DU; it seems that there are a lot of us here.

[cgnick]

5. There s no greater bond than family!

[prismpalette]

16. ummm nooooo

Should be that way but in care giving, not likely. Just like reading of a will, a parent or relative needing care giving causes HUGE family rifts.

[alcina]

11. Thank you for posting this

I hate to think misery loves company, but sometimes it's nice to know I'm not the only one going through this. Today has been one of the worst days of my recent life. I'm in the midst of a nasty divorce, am trying to run my own business, have no access to the "marital funds," and for the last 3 years I have been the sole caregiver for my mother, who has Alzheimer's. This last despite having 4 healthy siblings who could, but don't, help. Last weekend I was going to take a very carefully planned "vacation" for 4 days, but suddenly couldn't because my mother fell and broke her leg. She had emergency surgery, which all went very well. But the hospital, and now the rehab center, could not deal with the Alzheimer's. She presents really well but has about a 3-minute memory, so if someone spends only a short time with her and asks leading questions, she seems reasonably with it. But then later they're all surprised by how "difficult" she is. So I've spent hours every day at her side reminding her she's broken her leg, while trying to get the services we need to get her walking again. But today, after 6 days in rehab, the facility told me they're discharging her tomorrow because Medicare requires she show progress, and due to her lack of memory, she can't learn the exercises necessary to strengthen her leg, ie, no progress. After some pleading, they agreed to keep her on a few more days and go over the exercises with me, but they won't do therapy with her themselves. On the plus side, at least, the admissions people at both facilities didn't bother talking to me about her condition, and got her to sign off on the financial obligations. Oh yeah, and one of my siblings sent flowers.

Thank you for letting me rant. Now I think I'll have a good cry.

[kas125]

12. Hey, sometimes misery does love company. It's so hard to do this stuff alone.

Believe me, I know. I also have four siblings who could help, but choose not to. And eight other grandchildren besides mine who could help, but choose not to. You're not crying alone, there are a lot of us out there putting our own lives on hold to take care of a parent. Big hugs to you from me!

[alcina]

13. A big hug back

Thank you.

[kas125]

14. If you ever need to talk to someone please feel free to send me a message here.

I might not be able to help, but I surely am able to listen. People who don't do this every day just don't get it sometimes.

[qwlauren35]

18. Maybe in the DU Lounge You Could Have a Home.

I think I will create one.

[prismpalette]

15. some help out there

I too have been taking care of mom with alzheimers for 5 years in my home with no help from family. But over time I have been able to access some help. Try local council on aging because your state or county might offer respite hours thru them or the regional planning committee. Medicaid is also doing a "waiver" that gives in home respite and nurse visits to keep patients at home longer before NH care. Although the hours are minimal with council, it has pulled me back from the brink of totally burnout. Still going thru the waiver process but it will be a godsend.
Most people have no clue what in home caregiving saves this country in health care costs-it is frightening as more baby boomers move into this category. A little help for the families doing this would be extremely beneficial. Too many caregivers lose jobs because caring for a parent or relative is like caring for a child, they always have emergencies. Caregiving causes acute depression, isolation, financial devastation, suicide, and my personal favorite-approximately 10 years off your own life span.
When you know a caregiver, do something for them; have a cup of coffee with them to bring a sense of normalcy to their world, run an errand, or offer to sit with the pt so they can just go grocery shop. You will make someone's day who really will appreciate those small things.

[OrwellwasRight]

17. And meanwhile, those who do provide in home care

are not eligible for minimum wage and overtime under federal law (some states provide such coverage), and when Members of Congress try to change that they hear how "it's not fair to little old ladies -- you'll be putting them out on the street." Same ol' 1% tactic of trying to pit vulnerable populations against each other. As if anyone "deserves" to have someone else work for them without the basic wage rights of every other worker in America!! All work has dignity, and if this is the way we are going to care for our elderly and disabled citizens in society, we need to make sure that we also care for the caregivers.