Couple married 75 years die in each other's arms

[Faygo Kid]

Source: USA Today

He must have fallen. He broke his hip," Toczko said. He told KGTV that his father never fully recovered and his health began fading quickly.

Unwilling to keep their parents apart, they had hospice bring Alexander Toczko's bed into the couple's home and place it beside his wife.

On June 17, he passed away."And he died in her arms, which is exactly what he wanted," Toczko-Cushman told KGTV. "I went in there and told my mother he was gone; she hugged him and she said, 'See this is what you wanted. You died in my arms, and I love you. I love you, wait for me, I'll be there soon.' "

Within 24 hours, she passed away, holding her husband's hand.

Read more: http://www.freep.com/story/news/2015/07/03/couple-dies-in-each-others-arms/29662581/

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My beloved in-laws died within three days of each other, in 2006. They were married 60 years. Would we all be so fortunate.

[merrily]

1. Aw. The Notebook scenario seemed overly romanticized to me, yet, I have

read stories like this before. What a gift, to die in each other's arms, or at least come very close to that, after many years together. Indeed, what a gift, just to love and be loved.

[yeoman6987]

10. Beautiful story

Except she held his hand for 24-hours while dead? That seems like a long time to not have the body embalmed and whatever else needs done. A few hours yes, but 24? I guess I am more realistic. Still overall nice story.

[Ilsa]

18. It might not be a problem if the room is cool.

Cool temps slow down decay, although I would suspect she might notice some rigor developing. Embalming doesn't have to be done immediately.

I'd be more concerned about bladder or bowels emptying and causing odor and health problems right away.

[donnasgirl]

2. Please excuse me, I need to get something out of my eyes

[shenmue]

3. Please stop chopping onions

[donnasgirl]

6. Ok

[47of74]

34. Here take my hankey....

[restorefreedom]

5. i know, for some reason

there is a lot of sand flying around in my living room

rip to both

[donnasgirl]

7. It reminds me of my Grandparents,

They passed away 1 week apart, and grandpa told us this is what he wanted and he didn't want to go on without her, 66 years they were together.

[restorefreedom]

9. love can be so strong

rip to them. they are together now.💙

[merrily]

11. Awwww.

[Xithras]

4. There's a simple medical reason why this occurs.

It's been well understood for over a half century that the mortality rate of surviving spouses increases by up to 40% following a death, with a direct correlation between the age of the widow/widower and the death rate. Basically, if you subject a frail elderly person to extreme grief, which activates the brains flight or fight response and raises stress levels and blood pressure, they odds increase that something in their body is going to fail.

My uncle died unexpectedly at 49. My grandmother (his mother) was in good health, but died a week after he did at 74 years old. Same basic concept. The grief literally killed her.

[restorefreedom]

8. it is called takotsubo cardiomyopathy

originally identified by Japanese researchers. more commonly known as broken heart syndrome. as the explained by xithras, the stress levels rise to a point where significant cardiac changes can occur, causing an arrhythmia, heart attack, or stroke.

the stress and grief literally kills.

amazing the connection between mind and body

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takotsubo_cardiomyopathy

[dixiegrrrrl]

12. "amazing the connection between mind and body "

Yes....indeed.
We still have not yet come to full acceptance of it either.

[restorefreedom]

13. medical care will take a huge leap forward

when mainstream caregivers fully accept this reality.

[Duval]

20. You're right. It's been in alternative

therapies/medicine for quite some time. It's time other physicians and health care givers understand.

[restorefreedom]

24. they will...in time n/t

[Samantha]

37. The subconscious seeks out the weakest part of the body and directs the stress there

If the weakest part is one's heart, he or she dies from a heart attack. If there is an abnormality in the brain, one might die of a stroke. The conscious mind is totally unaware of what is happening.

Sam

[packman]

27. My uncle/aunt died also within 5 days of each other

After 65 yrs. of marriage. When I asked their son about it he replied that his father just stopped taking all the pills (16 per day) and basically said, "That's it".

I suspect that might be the case in many of these occurrences. One spouse is not there to look after the other.

[BrotherIvan]

14. We should all be so lucky

RIP, Lovers.

[Uncle Joe]

15. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, Faygo Kid.

[dhill926]

16. Ah jeez…

Beeyoutifull…

[DashOneBravo]

17. That's very sweet

What a lucky pair

[beemer27]

19. This is not rare.

At my grandmother's funeral my grandfather stood at the casket and said that he had nothing to live for. He died that night. They were both in their mid 90s. The mind is more complicated and stronger than we know. Our doctors and scientists are just starting to learn some of the mysteries that the human mind is capable of.

[Liberal_in_LA]

21. touching story. hospital would never have let patient lie with the body of dead person

For 24 hours

[Sophiegirl]

22. My Inlaws

Now these are some remarkable people. He is 88 and she is 86. They run circles around us in just about every way. Travel all over the world, garden, engage in social clubs , take their grandkids on vacations, ski, hike (mule-packing in Peru??? seriously???) and that is just the start...and I expect they will hit the century mark before they are done with this life. They are inseparable. And I expect that when one of them finally goes on, the other will join soon after. They have been married over 60 years. I should be so lucky.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

23. I've known a few couples that would be pissed to be stuck together for all eternity....

That, "till death do us part" means they can see other people.

[tularetom]

26. Sometimes there's a lot more to it than that

My dad had one foot in the grave for ten years, he had a lot of complications from diabetes and suffered from high blood pressure. During the entire time, my mom worked her ass off as his primary caregiver. He was in such bad shape we all assumed he would go first. But as it turned out, she herself was suffering from lung cancer that had metastasized in various parts of her body and didn't tell anybody because she felt he needed her. She refused all treatment except palliative pain relief and died in early 2003.

With her gone, and nobody around to watch what he ate, and how much sleep he got, and whether he took all his meds, he only lasted another four or five months. A lot of people in the family felt that she had sacrificed herself to keep him alive.

[The Second Stone]

28. From the quark gluon plasma just before the big bang and until now, elements have formed

atoms and combined and consciousness forced itself on living things, in a living existence of one living thing consuming another. Somewhere out of all of this, and in our understanding that we exist and struggle, we have come to love and accept that our consciousness and love are peaks of reality that end, and we return to being a pile of chemical mixtures that too are scattered. Like notes of a faded symphony we existed, we loved and we are gone, remembered for our interactions by the others that we gathered with and celebrated life with.

[Stardust]

29. What a beautiful philosophy. nt

[The Second Stone]

31. Thanks. I'm an old fashioned liberal Christian that believes we should

treat each other with love, except I don't believe in any afterlife.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

30. As, I suppose, a reverse version of that story

Last edited Sat Jul 4, 2015, 01:22 PM - Edit history (1)

My grandfather, then 93, was told by his doctor in April 1977 that he had an inoperable cancer, and that he had about six weeks to live, two months on the outside. My grandfather replied, "That's impossible. I have to give a speech in September." He was the last living founding member of an organization that was going to have its 50th anniversary, and he was to be the featured speaker at a dinner commemorating it.

He lived to give his speech, and died two weeks later.

[TexasBushwhacker]

32. Ann Richards lived to hold her 8th

"nearly perfect" grandchild.



She died 3 months later.

[47of74]

33. My paternal Grandma passed away back in January.

Her funeral was held 68 years to the day later after she and Grandpa got married, and it was even held in the same church. It was really nice that they were back together on their anniversary.

We joked that at least the weather was somewhat more cooperative this time around for laying Grandma to rest next to Grandpa, there was a blizzard on the day they got married.

They were married about 66.5 years when Grandpa passed on July 13, 2013. It'll be two years a week from Monday since he's left us. Just seems like so much has happened since they've both left us.

[47of74]

35. Another story with my paternal grandpa's paternal grandparents

They were both in their early 50s when my Great-great-grandma died in November 1897. My Great-Great-Grandpa followed her about half a year later in June of 1898. He too was in his early 50s. I remember reading - I believe in his obituary - that he told her not to worry as he would soon be "answering the summons of the almighty" himself and that he would be joining her before too much time had passed. I don't remember if it was before or after her passing though.

[Tab]

36. My grandparents died within weeks of each over.

They were married at about 25, lived in the same home for 65 years until circumstances forced them into a hospital; she went first, he followed within two weeks, bless them.