9-year-old suspended after he says he stood up to a bully

[closeupready]

Source: Fox 31 Denver

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Most Wednesday afternoons Nathan Pemberton would be sitting in his third grade classroom. But that didn’t happen.

“Got suspended,” he says.

The 9-year-old was kicked out of school Tuesday after he says he stood up to a bully who was beating him up.

“One kid kicked me in the back, then punched me in the face. Then I punched him in the face, and then I got in trouble, he says.”

Read more: http://kdvr.com/2012/04/18/9-year-old-suspended-after-he-says-he-stood-up-to-a-bully/

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If the bully who hit him before wasn't suspended for fighting, then they left Nathan no choice, in my opinion, but to fight back.

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. The kid who throws the second punch is always the one caught. n/t

[FailureToCommunicate]

27. That's what we always told our kids. "So always hit first?"

...was their question back to us.

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. My personal approach is a very long time delay for that second punch.

Something about a dish served cold.

[blackspade]

42. Don't I know that.

I've told my kids that if they have to fight back, make it count.
They are going to suspend you anyway, so you might as well clobber the bully.

[HotRodTuna]

43. agreed. Take your lumps from the mindless school beaurocracy

but make sure the bully knows he's gonna get what's coming to him.

[TrogL]

59. Been there, done that

The bully's excuse - "I was swinging my arms around and he got in my way".

He was, of course, untouchable because he was the quarterback.

[Brickbat]

2. The retaliator is always the one who gets in trouble.

Is this really LBN material?

[WingDinger]

3. Lazy ass administrators use zero tolerance, to sit on their duffs.

[elleng]

11. And zero discretion and zero BRAINS!

Calls for examination of the FACTS, that's called EVIDENCE!

[Dont call me Shirley]

4. What else would you expect from the hard-right-wing capital of the world?!

[apnu]

10. That's hardly Denver. Other parts of CO, sure, but Denver isn't "the right wing capital" (nt)

[Comrade Grumpy]

17. The story is out of Colorado Springs.

It more closely matches the description of hard right wing, what with Focus on the Family and the Christianist Air Force Academy and the like.

[Posteritatis]

20. This sort of thing wouldn't surprise me in any town in the US or Canada. (nt)

[HotRodTuna]

44. How is this "right wing"?

This insanity has crossed all political lines. School administrators only seem to care about one thing: CYA

[On the Road]

60. This Really Doesn't Sound Like a Hard Right-Wing Type of Decision

If anything, it's more along the lines of taking pacifism and non-retaliation to an extreme.

[BadgerKid]

5. That'll teach him not to stand up for himself.

Which is worse: being beaten by bullies, or being beaten by the authority that protects them?

Does not bode well.

[Atypical Liberal]

6. Use technology instead.

I have heard a great suggestion recently regarding bullying.

They now sell little video cameras disguised as pens and such.

You should put these on your child so he can record evidence of the bullying, and then you can go to the administration with proof and demand that the bully be removed from the school on threat of lawsuit.

Fighting back just gets the good kid punished with the bad, and exacerbates the problem as the victim now has confirmation that no one will take his side.

[Posteritatis]

19. Assuming it recorded the incident - which it often wouldn't...

... the more likely result is that the school would discipline the victim further for having such a device, or confiscate it the moment they were aware of it.

There's almost never a shortage of witnesses to this sort of thing; the problem is that, by and large, the schools just don't care.

[HotRodTuna]

45. Exactly - A kid recorded his teacher doing something down here and got in trouble

All administrators want is for kids to be seen and not heard. Just move through the system with as little turbulence as possible that might disturb their day.

[PavePusher]

58. So, to get the evidence, your kid has to take a beating first? Fuck. That.

Use a camera, sure. But let your kids defend themselves.

You'll still have the evidence that your kid didn't start it, and they'll have a better chance at avoiding a beating from the bully.

[DallasNE]

7. What Role Did The Parents Play?

It seems the bully has been called out before but nothing was done. Was this because the parents of the bully bullied the school using "their position in the community" for favorable treatment. The problem may be with the parents rather than the kid that is only following the family example.

[closeupready]

8. Wouldn't surprise me. Remember the incident of

the investment banker in some other Colorado town who hit a pedestrian with his car, sending the pedestrian to the hospital? He was charged only with a misdemeanor. "Lesser" people would be sitting in prison for a few years, no doubt, with felony records to deal with upon release.

[elleng]

9. Its self defense.

Something seriously wrong with this school's administration, and with many others. SUSPEND a 9-year-old???

[DisgustipatedinCA]

13. I think those sorts of rules are fairly common

My kids have been to schools with policies that state any student fighting will be suspended, no matter whether they started it or not. This sort of rule doesn't sit too well with me, but it does seem to be widespread.

[Posteritatis]

18. There's schools that would suspend him even if he didn't defend himself

Zero tolerance for things like these gets pretty stupid, especially when you have some morons in the administration who were never in their lives assaulted and thus sincerely believe "it takes two to fight."

[teewrex]

12. The same thing happened to my kid.

The bully always get protected and the one who is bullied always gets in trouble. Having been deeply involved in the PTA and school administration I saw firsthand how schools inadvertently encourage bullying.

[HotRodTuna]

46. My kids will get my 100% support in fighting back against bullys.

Best to take it out by the backstop though. Fighting in school has never been particularly encouraged.

[IndyJones]

55. I agree. It's too bad that admins look the other way too often and kids have to

defend themselves or continue to be bullied.

[christx30]

56. In the 5th grade

I was always getting picked on. It was my year of hell. My parents gave me 100% support. It was wonderful to have that safe place, knowing that after being around those people for 7 hours a day I could go home and know that I was safe. The school admin would give me the normal "fighting is wrong no matter what" garbage. I ended up tripping and kicking one boy in the face. I got in trouble in the school. My dad acted mad when he was brought up. In the car, he said that he would punish me. I was forced to spend a night at Chuck E. Cheese, followed by telling my dad the story over and over again and getting high fives until my hand hurt.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

14. The kid who regularly bullied me eventually became a lawyer.

[exboyfil]

15. Document any incidents of bullying

I know my school has a form to fill out (not publized). This opens up your options down the line, and puts the administration on notice that you will be watching.

Several bullies bullied my daughter and her friend in 9th grade. One of the the things they did was sexual in nature mostly directed at my daughter's friend. They both had pebbles (rocks?) thrown at them and my daughter's friend was struck slightly. I would have called the cops if my daughter had bee struck - that is a battery and is against the law (not to mention the assault). The harassment did stop.

[MrSlayer]

16. Good for him for standing up for himself.

I would tell him it's ok to do it again if he has to. Fighting back is the best way to deal with bullies, they generally do not like it.

[pasto76]

21. Funny that in this tea party town of gun nuts wanna be tough guys

that this kid is suspended. They love to blame "librals" here, but then you see bullshit like this.

[onehandle]

22. When I was in elementary school, the nuns encouraged me to 'stand up to bullies.'

And yes, they meant hit them back.

[thesquanderer]

23. I guess Colorado isn't a "Stand Your Ground" state

then the kid could have even used a gun.

[FailureToCommunicate]

26. Maybe "stand your playground" ?

[obamanut2012]

57. duzy

[marshall gaines]

24. bully

i finally stood up to the bully that harassed me, and I found out he was a coward. you go kid, you did the right thing. i hope you find comment one day... hope your parents back you up.

[gtar100]

25. He learned two good lessons

1) To stand up for himself.

2) To not trust authority.

I think he'll get it.

[abelenkpe]

28. + 1000 nt

[HotRodTuna]

47. absolutely

[distantearlywarning]

29. If that were my kid

I'd praise him for standing up for himself, and make the suspension into a fun vacation.

And I'd also have some serious words with the school adminstration. The word "lawsuit" would probably come up during the conversation.

[HotRodTuna]

48. This is all administrators fear, and it's the source of all this zero tolerance crap

the don't want to be sued, that's it. I'm sure some of them care about kids, but they really care about their jobs, and not getting sued and yelled at by parents. Suing the school is the last thing I'd want to do.

However, since it's the only thing they seem to respond to, just sue them. And then they'll pull out thier list of zero tolerance rules and say "see? our hands our tied! We're just helpless little babies that can't deviate from our prime directives"

Honestly, I don't know why administrator like this aren't replaced with a computer. Input the charge, output the punishment. No brains required.

[woodsprite]

30. My son gets bullied at school, called 'gay' etc, or any kids name that's not his.

The school took care of the 'name' calling (the labeling). He has been put between the 2 worst kids (Mo and Eric) because the teacher can't find a place for these two and she wanted to use my son as a role model. I've left her a message to get back to me. I wasn't aware of the situation until yesterday.

Yesterday at lunch, my son bought pizza and double milk and sat down at a lunch table. Mo sat down next to him, took his second milk, passed it down to the end of the table where Eric drank it. Thankfully he doesn't have lunch with these brats every day. His sister told him that when he gets double milk, open both and spit into them right away. Yuck!

[Throckmorton]

34. Hire a lawyer, now.

It is the only thing that works.

[sybylla]

31. We always told our sons to expect trouble if they fought back, but...

we also always told them to expect our complete support. We would fight for them in whatever way we could.

Teachers and administrators can't be everywhere. Bullies are good at finding their targets when no one else is watching. And they and their gang are always the first ones to cry when they get hit back and run with their lies to the principal's office.

Our sons were never to hit first, but never to feel like they had to take it either. They walked into every situation knowing what the potential consequences were and that we would be there with them.

[d_r]

32. I'm sure this happens every day.

[Dawson Leery]

33. This happened to me elementary school.

Though I should say I think little of the local school system.

[saras]

35. Lots of bad solutions. My favorite: Killing with one blow means never having to say you're sorry.

Okay, so what's a BETTER solution?

Obviously any "solution" suggesting Nathan, or anyone not explicitly seeking a Christ role, needs to put up with the second blow is unacceptable. They won't work, and people will simply take care of themselves and then get punished for disobeying the law. Useless.

For that matter, a "solution" that in any way suggests the kid was wrong without offering a more appropriate alternative is rightly going to be ridiculed as not a solution, but catering to the bully. Whatever works as a solution has to tell Nathan what to do, in that moment, that would work better than what he did. Later is later.

So what's better? Incapacitating choke holds? Tasers on video cameras? Psychiatric screening of kids allowed into public schools? Cops in the hall in full riot gear?

[TheKentuckian]

37. The kid has the right to self defense and isn't obligated to be some punk's punching bag

The school is begging for escalation and when it happens they'll be ringing their hands and playing the "who could have seen it coming?!?" card

They are never happy until someone breaks and blasts on the school, the wages of propping up bullies and punishing self defense.

[Posteritatis]

38. Which will naturally be followed by another bout of blaming the victims for it all.. (nt)

[AlbertCat]

39. Big whoop!

I got in trouble and I didn't hit back.

See, some teachers and principals hate "sissy boys" too.

So he learns life is not fair.

[unkachuck]

40. Nathan....

....deserves praise and an award not a suspension....if the above circumstances are correct, the school officials have got this seriously wrong....

....whether it's bullies on a playground or republicans in Congress, if you don't respond in kind and defend yourself you just encourage more of this bad bullying behavior....ask Harry and Nancy....

[backtomn]

41. Be Careful......

....this sounds a lot like defending someone for "standing their ground".

[2ndAmForComputers]

49. Yes, because punching somebody is just like shooting him dead.

[HotRodTuna]

50. I hope that was sarcasm

Or do you advocate lying down for your tormentors to have their way with you, unmolested by your defenses?

[HotRodTuna]

51. I was bullied by a few different people from Elementary School to HS

and never hit them, although sometimes, with one guy in particular, to this day I really wish I had. Each and every one of them deserved a smash to the face. Better to stand up for yourself.

[wordpix]

52. one thing every good teacher/administrator knows: get both sides of story

Obviously those making the decision weren't that good.

[Posteritatis]

54. "Get both sides of the story" and "zero tolerance policy" are mutually exclusive. (nt)

[Odin2005]

53. I almost got suspended because I beat the shit out of a bully.

My mom saved me from suspension by threatening to sue the school.