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Thu Nov 23, 2017, 09:34 AM

I lost my mother, and it's even worse than that.

I recently lost my mother. She was 82 years old. Went quietly in her sleep. She had arthritis which was debilitating, but was otherwise in good health. Sadly, her body was not discovered for quite some time (my brother ad I both live out of state, I'll explain later) and there was no autopsy possible, and she was forced to be cremated due to the decomposition of her body. I'm still struggling with this, and always will.

To give some background, my mother in her later years unfortunately became a Faux News addict. To be honest, she was never really what one would call a "well informed" person. She started watching Faux News in her last few years, believing that made her well informed, and we found her always wanting to fire up political debates with everyone, something she had never done in the past. Mostly railing away at liberal media bias, and hating democrats, because Faux News tells her to. Would start trying to pick fights out of nowhere at times. I would calmly and methodically point out things like Medicare and Social Security, which of course she heavily depended on, were brought about by democratic administrations and opposed by republicans including her demigod Ronald Reagan. Told her if it were up to Reagan, she would have no medicare. Whenever I gave her a calm, factual retort like that, she would just stammer, sort of red faced, realizing she was wrong, and say nothing. Then later on after some passage of time, would continue with democrat bashing, as of course Faux News told her to.

So recently, her oldest granddaughter, my niece, went to study overseas for a semester, in Spain, where she is now. Which did not sit well with my mother as Faux News got her so wound up about mid east terrorist attacks in Europe that she was so certain that sending her granddaughter overseas was a sure death sentence, as she sure to be killed over there by those terrorist muslims. Then the Barcelona attack occurred, which made things worse. Of course this caused a lot of acrimony with my brother and his wife, as she did not merely express concern over the situation, she kept insisting in a heavy handed manner, never letting go of it. It reached a boiling point with my brother and his wife, naturally. So over Labor Day weekend, I made the trip to visit her, which I normally did every year. We had a nice time, but at the end of the weekend I had to have a talk with her, as to how she has to stop this intrusiveness, how she's being overbearing and overstepping her bounds, as her granddaughter could just as easily be victim of a campus gunfire attack a la Virginia Tech as she could be killed by a terrorist in Spain, and she has to stop with the constant hand wringing. Then of course she responded with anger at me, for "taking their side" and the like. My attempt at enlightening her was going nowhere, so I left, told her I loved her and we'll talk later, and she ignored me as I walked out.

So then there was phone silence, calling neither myself or my brother, as was not uncommon for her when she went into one of these types of rants. We figured it was just another bout of poutiness, and would smooth over by the holidays. This was not at all uncommon for her, phone silence when there was a family blowup. Very common for her, in fact. Turns out she was not calling because she passed away in her sleep, unbeknownst to any of us. We don't even know what day she died, probably around the first week in October. This is why her body was not discovered until later. My ugly Labor Day conversation with her was to be my last.

So now it's Thanksgiving. It was always "our day" between me and mom. My brother, as per tradition, spent the holiday with his in laws, as some holidays are with the in laws, some are with family. So Turkey Day was always just me and mom. This of course is the first one without her and it's tough. My mother was a good hearted person, involved in Al Anon and Alateen, voluntarily counseled females in prison, was great with small children, used to be a school teacher long ago. Just a pity Faux News poisoned her mind in her later years, and caused such issues and bad blood in the family. This Thanksgiving Day is a hard one for me, and I had to vent, and could not think of a better place than here.

RIP mom. I love you.

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Reply I lost my mother, and it's even worse than that. (Original post)
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 OP
GreenEyedLefty Nov 2017 #1
Zoonart Nov 2017 #2
n2doc Nov 2017 #3
livetohike Nov 2017 #4
delisen Nov 2017 #5
KTinaY2008 Nov 2017 #6
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 #7
Scarsdale Nov 2017 #10
lindalou65 Nov 2017 #8
Moral Compass Nov 2017 #9
AllaN01Bear Nov 2017 #11
Thor_MN Nov 2017 #12
Vinca Nov 2017 #13
Irish_Dem Nov 2017 #14
LiberalLoner Nov 2017 #15
llmart Nov 2017 #30
MLAA Nov 2017 #16
bucolic_frolic Nov 2017 #17
shenmue Nov 2017 #18
SWBTATTReg Nov 2017 #19
mountain grammy Nov 2017 #20
Ilsa Nov 2017 #21
stevenleser Nov 2017 #22
sprinkleeninow Nov 2017 #67
Panho Nov 2017 #23
sinkingfeeling Nov 2017 #24
kairos12 Nov 2017 #25
japple Nov 2017 #26
spooky3 Nov 2017 #27
diva77 Nov 2017 #28
MFM008 Nov 2017 #29
lucca18 Nov 2017 #31
pdxflyboy Nov 2017 #32
american_ideals Nov 2017 #33
Delmette2.0 Nov 2017 #34
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 #35
Delmette2.0 Nov 2017 #36
Hamlette Nov 2017 #37
Lifelong Protester Nov 2017 #38
pandr32 Nov 2017 #39
BlancheSplanchnik Nov 2017 #40
seta1950 Nov 2017 #41
DarthDem Nov 2017 #42
AnotherDreamWeaver Nov 2017 #43
pnwmom Nov 2017 #44
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 #45
pnwmom Nov 2017 #49
orleans Nov 2017 #50
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 #51
sprinkleeninow Nov 2017 #71
Egnever Nov 2017 #46
MrScorpio Nov 2017 #47
orleans Nov 2017 #48
sprinkleeninow Nov 2017 #68
orleans Nov 2017 #69
lunasun Nov 2017 #52
muriel_volestrangler Nov 2017 #53
mnmoderatedem Nov 2017 #54
dawg Nov 2017 #55
LenaBaby61 Nov 2017 #56
lunasun Nov 2017 #57
Pacifist Patriot Nov 2017 #58
uponit7771 Nov 2017 #59
moriah Nov 2017 #60
malaise Nov 2017 #61
Raine Nov 2017 #62
TuxedoKat Nov 2017 #63
Honeycombe8 Nov 2017 #64
Different Drummer Nov 2017 #65
OhioBlue Nov 2017 #66
A HERETIC I AM Nov 2017 #70
Denis 11 Nov 2017 #72
Denis 11 Nov 2017 #73
lostnfound Nov 2017 #74
tavernier Nov 2017 #75

Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 09:39 AM

1. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 09:40 AM

2. So very sorry for your profound loss.

I lost my mom this past September. It has been a rough, rough year, and I mean all things considered.
My heart goes out to you.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 09:50 AM

3. Very sorry for your loss

Faux is a scourge on humanity. My Uncle went through a similar transformation, from a good Union-Public Employee worker to a racist prick who hated anything 'liberal', including his own Union. It didn't get as bad between us because we could still defuse things with humor, and we were a long ways apart. But it was sad.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:10 AM

4. My sympathy to you and family on the loss of your

Mom. May all the good memories overcome the sad ones.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:14 AM

5. That is hard.


Maybe partly the faux new and partly personality changes relating to medical conditions.

Your deep emotional connection to your Mom must have made it very hard to deal with that change in her.

I liked your telling us about her life, her teaching and being good with with children, women in prison, and families dealing with addiction.
That is the person she was and hearing about about the good things sure helps me when confronted with so much that is mean.

I wish you a peaceful Thanksgiving and thank you.


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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:39 AM

6. I'm sorry for your loss.

My brother took his life October 19. Thanksgiving is a very sad one this year.

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Response to KTinaY2008 (Reply #6)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:42 AM

7. oh no, so sorry

there's always someone else who has things worse. At least my mother had a long life. Wish I had words for you that could help...

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Response to KTinaY2008 (Reply #6)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:02 AM

10. Deepest sympathy

on the loss of mother, and brother. Devastating to lose a family member under any circumstances. This time of year is sad in many ways.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:48 AM

8. Losing your Mom

I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. I am sure she knew you loved her even though your last conversation was one you regret.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:59 AM

9. My sympathies

Hard to deal with things in your life like this.

Losing a parent is tough.

Be thankful that she apparently didnít suffer and wasnít scared and alone. She just drifted away.

Peace to you.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:03 AM

11. condolances

if that is ok. i gave up tv news in the year 2000. gave up cable completly last july.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:04 AM

12. Sorry for your loss.

 

This one may be tough, next year will be easier.

Thanksgiving has been tough on my family as well. Within a decade, my aunt (mom's only sibling), her husband, my brother in law, his sister. One Alzheimer's, the other three cancer - all between the ages of 46 and 62 and within a couple weeks of Thanksgiving.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:08 AM

13. I'm sorry. It seems the holidays bring a whole lot of pain to the surface.

As for your mom and Faux, my dad - a formerly nonreligious person - turned into a full blown fundie. I attended a church service with him once when I visited and they went so far as to speak in tongues. It was one of those mega churches. We never argued about it, but it made me wonder if people automatically go off their rocker when they get old.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:11 AM

14. Faux news preys on the elderly. It should be a scandal.

Sorry on your loss.

My mother, 93, died last month, in bed too, and was cremated.
It was a complicated relationship as well.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:12 AM

15. Im so sorry for your loss

And so many of us have had relationships with friends and family ruined due to Faux News. So empathy for that.

Iím just so sorry. If you believe in heaven I hope you will see your Mom again at her best and most loving, without Faux News poisoning.

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Response to LiberalLoner (Reply #15)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 12:16 PM

30. I believe that's very true.

I also believe it started with Rush and his negative tirades. He was the first. I hate him with a passion.

I think our country would be better off if we all stayed away from TV news. Then some of these programs would die a natural death because very few people would watch them.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:15 AM

16. My condolences to you dear mnmoderatede Losing your mom is so painful, creating a large hole.

Condolences to the millions of us that have lost loved ones to Faux News.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:23 AM

17. Solitude is strength

all my holidays are spent alone. i work on special projects. Fixing up around the house.
It's freedom. No football, no tv, no cleanup, just me and my life.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:23 AM

18. Rest in peace

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:31 AM

19. RIP

Thanks for sharing the stories all. Bless all, Happy Thanksgiving to all.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:38 AM

20. Im so sorry.

Itís even sadder to lose our loved ones before they die..Fox has so much to atone for, but of course never will. Make America sad again.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:38 AM

21. I am so sorry for your loss, especially under these circumstances.

And I am angry over the toxicity brought into your mother's life from the liars at Fox. I hope has found peace now.

I hope you can re-imagine your last encounter to see not just the misunderstanding or anger, but love that was the undercurrent. Think of the good she did, of her bringing you and your brother into this world and raising you to be the extraordinary people you are. Perhaps you can find a group to be with today, maybe someone who knew your mom. I'm sorry the loss is so profound on a day like today.

(BTW, it was Thanksgiving shortly after my mom passed. I missed her terribly. I was making pies, and I picked up the phone to call her and ask a question. It hit me doubly hard in that moment that I couldn't ask her any more questions.)

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:41 AM

22. My condolences, I lost my mom August 18th, she was age 79.

 

I think you always have some regrets and wishes that certain things were different. I visited my mom every Sunday and brought my wife and youngest daughter who was almost 2 and 1/2 years old when mom passed. I was feeling regrets I hadn't visited more when a friend set me straight. "How many parents get a visit every week from their son, daughter in law and granddaughter. Stop feeling like you didn't do enough".

The point is, you do what you can, and in your situation I think you did. I hope that helps.

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Response to stevenleser (Reply #22)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 12:39 AM

67. Yes, never feel "I didn't do enough". And my heartfelt sympathy for you, steven, and all who have

Last edited Fri Nov 24, 2017, 04:31 AM - Edit history (1)

experienced the loss of loved ones.

We watched my mom suffer a major stroke in June '09 and go from the hospital to skilled nursing where she reposed the week of Christmas same year.

I felt my husband and I 'did enough' only in that we chose the wrong path of treatment for her. A dear friend of hers warned me to not do that to myself because it'll make ME sick.

You did the best you could. Think on the positive things and push any negative thoughts of guilt or condemnation away.

Love to all at this holiday season from a sister in humanity,
~sprink

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:41 AM

23. My sympathies nt

 

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:42 AM

24. I'm so sorry you lost your mother.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:46 AM

25. My condolences to you and may your Thanksgiving Day be filled with joyful

memories of time with your mother.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:47 AM

26. Peace and comfort to you in this time of grief. It is hard losing a parent, but

your situation must be especially painful given the estrangement at the time of her death. Don't beat yourself up over this. You did everything right. Sending healing, loving energies in your direction.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:48 AM

27. I am so sorry. I hope you will be kind to

yourself.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 12:04 PM

28. My condolences.

So very very sorry...

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 12:06 PM

29. So sorry friend

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 12:22 PM

31. I am so sorry.

I know that it is tough for you, but remember how much you and your mother loved each other.

You said that thanksgiving was your special day with your mother.
Remember those special times with a smile (not sadness).

Please take care.



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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 12:33 PM

32. mnmoderatedem, I am sorry for your loss.

My brother is a ceo in California, and my sister is 69, married to a retired Air Force sergeant in North Carolina. Neither of them speak to us at all because I have mentioned to both of them that we never watch Fox News. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:05 PM

33. So sorry for your loss.



And I'm sorry that GOP billionaires like Rupert Murdoch destroyed your relationship with your mother. Propaganda works and your mother was a victim.

Focus on the good times with her on this holiday. Thanksgiving is a time to mourn missing family members but also reflect on the things we are all thankful for.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:10 PM

34. I am so very sorry for your loss.

My 39 year old son died in August from Muscular Dystrophy. I was with my mother when he passed, alone. I never thought I would not be there for him.

We can't predict the future and we can't be everywhere. Know that your mother and you shared a bond to be cherished.

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Response to Delmette2.0 (Reply #34)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:17 PM

35. I can't imagine

so sorry...

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Reply #35)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:22 PM

36. Likewise.

I can't imagine your sorrow.

We did our best. Now we can remember the good times and laughter with no regrets.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:24 PM

37. what a tragedy

I lost my mom a few years ago. It's hard under any circumstances but yours compound it. It will get easier. Forgive yourself when you can.

the real tragedy is Fox news. Tearing the country apart for money.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:27 PM

38. I am sorry for your loss.

Forgive her and yourself. No use wasting two lives.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:36 PM

39. Thank you for sharing your story

I'll bet many others have separated over the brainwashing of Fox so-called news and hate radio. It is causing nothing but misery, hate, and divisiveness.
Sincere condolences to you and your family.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:37 PM

40. How sad :( fux spews is a force of evil.

And I'm not even being over dramatic.

Again, I'm so sorry they did this to your family; they've done it to many.

May you feel better and find resolution. ❤️

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 01:59 PM

41. Sorry

Iím very sorry for your loss, losing ones mother is never easy. May she Rest In Peace.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:19 PM

42. RIP, So Very Sorry

What a beautiful writeup in tribute to her. She sounds like a wonderful lady.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:30 PM

43. Wishing you Many Blessings and Good Fortune


For your mom, a light for her passage.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:52 PM

44. I'm so so sorry for your loss, and that you're alone today.

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Response to pnwmom (Reply #44)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:55 PM

45. I've got a place set for her at my table

and making our favorite t-day dishes. I've had friends offering, even insisting I come over and have dinner with them. But it wouldn't be the same. Just me and mom's portrait today.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Reply #45)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:01 PM

49. I'm glad to know you had choices, and I understand why you made this one.

May your mother RIP.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Reply #45)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:05 PM

50. i think that is perfect.

that is exactly what i would do.

(i just posted something a few posts down and then i saw this.)

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Response to orleans (Reply #50)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:12 PM

51. yup saw that

beat you to the punch.

thanks for your thoughts

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Reply #51)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 04:45 AM

71. That is a way of remembrance to honor her.

Please see my post to Orleans.
The Slavic/Czechoslovak people place a setting and chair at the table for the 'unseen' but 'present' reposed.

Our church sets a place for 'all' who have reposed for the Christmas Eve Vigil service and repast after.

We hold that a person's spirit is alive after they repose, and that the spirit is the true being/essence of their human/mortal life.

The peace that passes understanding come and dwell with you.🕯

~sprink

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:56 PM

46. Fuck Fox news

 

Sorry for the pain they have caused you and millions of other families.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 02:58 PM

47. I'm very sorry for your loss

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:00 PM

48. my heart goes out to you

i'm very sorry you are going through this.
it sounds like a very devastating experience.

hold tight to the love you have for her and the love she had for you. i believe that is what keeps us together across the great divide.

after my mom passed i started setting a place for her at the table for all the holidays and special occasions, as a way of remembrance, and welcoming her to join us--after all, there was no other place she'd rather be on these special days than with me and my daughter. we even continue to celebrate her birthday with her favorite food and a cake. and today, when i go to my daughter's home, there will be an empty chair and place set at the table. it has become a tradition based in love and the belief that our spirits never die.

i hope you find some comfort today and in the days ahead.

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Response to orleans (Reply #48)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 12:53 AM

68. Thank you for saying this. It is most welcomed.

It is a Slavic/Czechoslovak tradition of remembrance and honor to set a place for the reposed at the table.

At our church Christmas Eve Vigil service and repast after, there is always a place setting and chair reserved for ALL who have reposed.

Our spirits are alive, they live on and, are the true being/nature of our human existance.🕯

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Response to sprinkleeninow (Reply #68)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 04:14 AM

69. thank you for letting me know about this tradition

i did not know.

and i agree wholeheartedly with what you said: "Our spirits are alive, they live on and, are the true being/nature of our human existence"

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:23 PM

52. You are not alone. No one I know personally , but watch the movie

The brainwashing of my dad. It was free on Hulu
Plenty of people in the movie suffering like you as they see change
Scary people to me but of course I understand the empathy among families

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:47 PM

53. What a sad story. It sounds like it was a case of bad timing

that you had a disagreement with her that might have been easily patched up - it's clear she was a good woman, with the work and volunteering she did - if her passing away hadn't happened just then. It's awful that Fox made her think there was a 'side' to take on the subject of your niece's travelling, and that it divided a mother from her children.

I hope you'll remember you have plenty of friends here for Thanksgiving.

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Response to muriel_volestrangler (Reply #53)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:51 PM

54. "I hope you'll remember you have plenty of friends here for Thanksgiving"

that's why I posted here.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 03:52 PM

55. Honestly, it sounds like ...

you handled that disagreement with your Mom in a loving and respectful manner. And I'm sure she knew how much you love her, despite any occasional differences of opinion.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 04:00 PM

56. mnmoderatedem ...

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)


Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 08:19 PM

58. My heart breaks again

As a UU Community Minister, I am called to help in times like these. And there has been a marked increase thanks to Faux News. My sincerest condolences. Estranged losses are difficult to reconcile.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 08:33 PM

59. sorry for your loss

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 08:47 PM

60. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine.

These are the times when I'm reminded of why I should be thankful for 17 years of warning before my father's early death. (Tomorrow is his birthday, so Thanksgiving is always a bittersweet time). Of course, knowing there was the potential he could catch something that he couldn't fight off didn't mean we didn't have to deal with conflict, and our thing was even when we were furious with each other, we said we loved each other before we hung up.

Even if it wasn't a great conversation, you told her you loved her before you left.

You managed, without trying or knowing, to accomplish what my Dad and I worried about for years -- our last conversation having those words.

May not seem like a lot... but I hope it helps to remember that. Later.

Because right now... I just wish I could give you a real hug (with permission).

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 08:54 PM

61. Moms and dads can be difficult

but we still love them - it's hard. In time you'll be surrounded by the better memories. Don't let the last ugly conversation make all the good years disappear.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 09:34 PM

62. I'm so sorry

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:04 PM

63. So sorry

for the loss of your beloved mom. (((HUGS)))

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:12 PM

64. I'm so sorry your mother is gone.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, if you feel any guilt. When it's time, it's time. She was gone. It no longered mattered to her when she was found. She could just as easily have mentioned to a few neighbors to check on her, if they didn't see her for a while. But we never think we're going to die.

She went in her sleep. Who doesn't want to go that way? She was lucky.

I feel for you having to spend the first turkey day without her and your special day with her. Thanksgiving has a special painful meaning for me, too. I can tell you that I do not make arrangements to do anything on that day for the purpose of avoiding the painful reminders. I think it's important to feel the pain, so that I can get better. It does get better over time. Inch by inch, day by day, year by year.

My Dad is 86 and is a Trumper and Faux News watcher, too. I will almost never discuss politics with him, though he tries to draw me in, sometimes. My stepmom, his wife, is a Trumper and Faux News devotee, too. They are both so incredibly ignorant of facts...because they watch Faux News to get "facts." There is no hope for such people, politically. They became lost when they voted for Trump. He, in turn, refers to me as the "treehugger" in the family. He means it as an insult, but to me that's a compliment. (Reminder to self: Get a t-shirt that says "treehugger."

But we can only try to compartmentalize our family members who are political idiots, and focus on the good stuff. I hope you made it through the day okay. It will get better.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 10:12 PM

65. Very sorry for you loss!

It's such a shame that Fox "News" has caused problems in the relationships of so many families. Just try to remember the good times with your mom and don't be too hard on yourself over the last conversation you had with her.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Thu Nov 23, 2017, 11:53 PM

66. I'm so sorry! Hugs!

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 04:37 AM

70. Sincere condolences

My mother passed away 3 years ago this past August, and if it werenít for the daily calls my sister made, our stories would be much more similar.

As it was, we really donít know how long she lay there on the floor before she was found by her neighbor, but it was hours and not weeks

Again, my sincerest condolences on your loss.

Your story should remind all of us to tell the ones we love how much they mean to us each and every time we can, and as parents get older, NEVER pass on an opportunity to say ďI love youĒ

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 06:48 AM

72. I'm sorry for your loss.

You will be in my prayers.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 06:51 AM

73. I'm sorry for your loss.

You will be in my prayers.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 07:51 AM

74. I picture her up in heaven receiving instant wisdom, and saying to herself,

"Why didn't my KIDS ever explain to me the truth about Faux?"

RIP to your mother, and she knows you love her.

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Response to mnmoderatedem (Original post)

Fri Nov 24, 2017, 07:58 AM

75. ...

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