HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Have you ever been groped...

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:41 PM

Have you ever been groped, grabbed, kissed / etc without permission?

Last edited Mon Nov 20, 2017, 09:38 PM - Edit history (1)

I'm not asking about rape, but "just" inappropriate, unwanted acts, aka assault or harassment.

Yes to all, first time as a barely pubescent not quite teen.

I hope this changes, that deniers will see how widespread this is and help make it unacceptable. Having a known sexual assaulter as president is nauseating.



53 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
I am Female, yes have been groped/etc
29 (55%)
Female no
0 (0%)
Male yes
22 (42%)
Male no
2 (4%)
Nonbinary yes
0 (0%)
Nonbinary no
0 (0%)
Show usernames
Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

19 replies, 2194 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply Have you ever been groped, grabbed, kissed / etc without permission? (Original post)
uppityperson Nov 2017 OP
steve2470 Nov 2017 #1
uppityperson Nov 2017 #5
Not Ruth Nov 2017 #2
FarCenter Nov 2017 #3
phylny Nov 2017 #15
snooper2 Nov 2017 #4
Kali Nov 2017 #6
el_bryanto Nov 2017 #7
herding cats Nov 2017 #8
steve2470 Nov 2017 #13
LonePirate Nov 2017 #9
mythology Nov 2017 #10
Igel Nov 2017 #11
Sen. Walter Sobchak Nov 2017 #12
steve2470 Nov 2017 #14
msongs Nov 2017 #16
mvd Nov 2017 #17
HeartachesNhangovers Nov 2017 #18
LuckyCharms Nov 2017 #19


Response to steve2470 (Reply #1)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:54 PM

5. I just replied to you there

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:47 PM

2. Yes to all, but always in a social situation, never at work, photo op, school, etc

 

“Get fuck off me” worked every time.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:50 PM

3. People kiss all the time without permission -- it has become a disgusting social habit

 

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to FarCenter (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 05:50 PM

15. My very elderly father-in-law has always wanted to kiss me on the lips. I would kiss my kids on the

lips when they were little babies (actually, THEY would kiss me on my lips) but I don't ever kiss anyone on the lips except for my husband. It bugs the hell out of me if someone zooms in to kiss my lips - I swerve and offer my cheek instead.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:52 PM

4. There should probably be a distinction between Grabbing butt and Smacking butt

 

the two are not the same...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 03:55 PM

6. I am female. duh! of course.

although I haven't exactly been traumatized for life over it and to be honest back in my partying days I am sure I did my share of it to a few men.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:00 PM

7. Only once that i can recall and i think the guy who did it was extremely drunk.

I was waiting for a bus and a group of guys walked by and being younger and less of an asshole i said "Hey" to them - one of the three staggered over and grapped my jacket and said "I"m not Gay!" several times. I got out of my jacket in the least dignified manner possible (as he was holding it)

But that is just one encounter with a drunk guy - it's not really the same thing that Woman might encounter over and over and over again.

Bryant

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:09 PM

8. I wonder if any women haven't been?

My first real shocker was a double boob grab from behind by my 40 something year old boss when I was 16. I twisted out of it, got away and left work. I never told anyone, I just never went back to work there again. I never even collected my final check I was so freaked out about seeing him again.

There were other indents before, but that was the first one that actually scared me.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to herding cats (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 05:01 PM

13. On my thread one woman says no nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:13 PM

9. Years ago I (male) had a female co-worker who would rub my shoulders while I was at my desk.

I would be working away and she would simply walk up behind me (unbeknownst to me) and start massaging my shoulders. I never asked for it and it was never about power or sex or anything like that from what I could tell. Fortunately between asking her to stop and her eventual marriage, it ended. She did the same thing to a couple of other guys. This was back in the late 90s.

I also worked with a hugger who hugged everyone for the most part, especially her friends and people in her lunch group, of which I was one. She picked up on my dislike for her hugs and she stopped.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:38 PM

10. I'm not entirely sure it qualifies

 

But I once had a coworker bite me in what I think was a very odd attempt at flirtation. In another instance I had a female acquaintance mime humping my leg. She was definitely interested in me, but I wasn't interested in her. Fortunately both got the hint to not do that again.

But I'm a big guy and neither of the two women were in a position to threaten me, and it's at most two instances in 36 years, so I don't really see myself as a victim on that front in comparison to the frequency and degree many others are.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mythology (Reply #10)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:45 PM

11. That's part of the problem.

I was about to answer "no" but then I recalled a string of incidents in which I was hugged or kissed in social settings and didn't think it appropriate. The other person did; there was nothing sexual about it, from my view, nor from theirs. But it was male/female, and the difference between "sexual assault" and "not sexual assault" is entirely my perception.

In many of the instances being cited in the media, it's clearly intended to be a sexual come-on with something like sex as the outcome. In others, not always quite so clearly. Zero-tolerance requires extremely high contrast, no greys allowed.

Therefore, if there's any doubt as to a person's innocence, the verdict has to be guilty.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 04:58 PM

12. Mostly but not exclusively by women I worked with

 

I am willing to accept most of that was intended to be goofy or playful but it always makes me uncomfortable, if only for appearances sake.

The more offensive behavior usually occurred electronically or when traveling, there are a handful of women I dread traveling with for work because that seems to be when they drink up their courage.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Sen. Walter Sobchak (Reply #12)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 05:04 PM

14. Never had that

I am a guy also. I have been asked out a few times but nothing sexual.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Mon Nov 20, 2017, 09:07 PM

16. only by women.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Wed Nov 22, 2017, 10:10 AM

17. No, unless you count..

the incident in high school where some bully kept slapping/punching (not hard) on me while I sat in class - but that wasn't sexual. It was just completely juvenile. As a high school senior he acted like someone in elementary school.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to uppityperson (Original post)


Response to uppityperson (Original post)

Wed Nov 22, 2017, 01:48 PM

19. Oh yeah. Let's see...

Male here.

1) Early 20's, just out of college, first professional job. Was at my desk, talking on the phone to a VP. Secretary knew who I was talking to. She approached me while on the phone, started rubbing the back of my neck, and stuck her tongue in my ear. I had to try to keep my composure while talking to this guy. She thought it was hilarious. I didn't.

2) Late night taxi ride home from my girlfriend's house when I was a teen. Shared the back seat with a woman who was probably in her 30's, drunk off her ass. She molested me. Grabbed my junk, kissed me, etc. Cabbie had to pull over and scream at her to stop because I was protesting.

3) Part time job as a young teen. Got dragged into a bathroom by a woman in her 30's. She was all hands. Basically tried to rape me. I had to get physical to get her to stop.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread