The Damage Caused by Sexual Assault and other Sexual Offenses

[MineralMan]

is often minimized by people. That's especially true for men. Most of us haven't experienced it and don't fully understand its impact on victims.

The daughter of one of my wife's cousins got flashed by some willy-waver when she was 14. She was just walking home from school and some asshole pulled up in his car and jumped out with his inflamed junk showing. The girl ran off and the man drove off. The entire incident lasted just seconds.

But, that wasn't the end of it. The girl was materially harmed by the experience and had anxiety attacks and other problems that required therapy for a couple of years. She's OK now, pretty much, half a dozen years later, but still has trouble with forming trusting, close relationships with guys. That incident affected her life in a negative way.

She wasn't physically hurt, and there was no physical assault, but that brief incident caused significant harm. How much worse is the harm caused by people like Judge Roy Moore, who took his sexual quirks farther and physically abused a girl of the same age? What was the impact of that on his victim? Has she recovered fully from that?

There is no minimizing such criminal acts. They cause real, palpable harm. Nobody should ever dismiss such a thing. Nobody should brush it off. It's important. Chances are that someone each of us knows has been the victim of some sexual abuse. We may not know about it, but it's certain that the person who was the victim is still dealing with it.

We should never minimize or brush off such things. When we do, we become participants in the damage that was caused.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. K & R

[angstlessk]

2. My sister and I were walking home from church,she was about 10 and I 8

and a man pulled over and told us our parents sent him to drive us home..he had a car with wing doors. Luckily my sister was astute and refused the ride home. To this day I wonder what his intentions were? I am sure rape was his hope, but murder also?

One day when a friend and I were walking to one of those 'new' hamburger joints ( I think Carols back then) a man stopped in front of us asking directions, only when we looked down, he was masturbating...we just left the scene!

Then when I was 11 I was raped....THAT changed my entire life!

When I was 20 or so walking home from a bad date a man with a gun made me get into his car...had me strip down, but he couldn't 'get it up'. I told him he needed to see a shrink for help, and convinced him to let me go.

Of course I spent most of my teenage years in reform school for running away from home..from 13 to 14 then again from 15 to 16

Such is a life affected by sexual assault!

[MineralMan]

3. I'm so sorry those things happened to you.

Just horrible!

[MineralMan]

4. Also, we should recognize the bravery of girls and women

who go public with what has happened to them. That takes a lot of strength and courage. That's why I believe Judge Moore's accusers. They have nothing to gain and will no doubt have to deal with hate mail and other assaults on them. We should thank them sincerely for telling the truth about that man.

[HipChick]

5. My brother was a star track, and soccer player..

at school in the UK..He even tried out for one of the Professional junior team Div 1 leagues
He suddenly dropped out of out sports, we never knew why...years later, visiting my hometown, and family, came across an obituary in the local newspaper...the obituary was that of a beloved gym teacher at a local grammar school that my brother attended. That's when my brother dropped the bombshell, of what had happened to him..A friendly hug, turned into a grope session, that incident was something he kept inside all that time. Yes, it has lasting implications, and my brother has truly being tested in this life, he's a much stronger person than I am.

[MineralMan]

6. Yes. It happens to boys and young men, too.

It can be life-changing.

[angstlessk]

7. What these assholes do to peoples lives is worse than murder!

They KILL innocence. They KILL the life that could have been! They are KILLERS!

[iscooterliberally]

8. Your post reminded me of something I had forgotten long long ago.

I was sexually assaulted as a child. My attacker was an 11 year old girl. I was only about 5 at the time. I'll spare you the gory details. It only lasted a few seconds and I ran into my house and got sick. I remember washing my face and hands. It happened in my backyard and my mom was even home at the time. Mom didn't know what had happened as far as I know. The girl was the older sister of the only other kid on my street that was my age. That's why she was in my back yard. As an adult, remembering some of the things she said to me, I realize that she was the real victim of sexual abuse. I was merely collateral damage. We only lived on that street for about a year and this was almost 50 years ago now. I had a lot of other screwed up things happen to me as a child too, but I can't help to feel sorry for my attacker. Her life must have been utterly horrifying.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

9. The damage is very real. My perpetrator is now a fake religious right Southern

Republican, and probably very emboldened by the acceptance of Moore's pedophilia. It's too difficult to talk about even after all these many years. I wish I were more brave, but suffice it to say the damage is very real. I was a young child, he was an older teenager - threats, guilt, all that bullshit.

[MineralMan]

10. I'm very sad that you had such a thing happened.

So many stories remain untold.

[Calculating]

11. I hate sexual predators beyond words

It's never happened to me, but seeing what they do to people is simply horrifying. It's almost worse than murder in a way. At least murder doesn't leave the victim behind to suffer for a lifetime. Sexual assault destroys any hint of innocence the victim has, and leaves them with lifelong mental problems/hangups/other social difficulties.

The worst and sickest part of all is how those who are abused are then more likely to become abusers themselves. Sex crimes create a whole trickle down effect of horror throughout our society. Personally I think we need to be much more aware, and much harsher in the punishment of such crimes.

[MineralMan]

12. I have known a number of victims.

All were deeply affected by their experience.