Trump Knocked Out in First Round of White House I.Q.-Test Tournament After Losing to Betsy DeVos

[IronLionZion]

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-knocked-out-in-first-round-of-white-house-iq-test

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an I.Q.-test tournament devised by Donald Trump to determine the smartest person in his Administration, Trump suffered a humiliating defeat on Tuesday, getting knocked out in the first round by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.

Trump had personally created the brackets for the tournament, which he had hoped would lead to an I.Q.-championship showdown between him and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. “He was determined to face Betsy in the first round,” a White House source said of Trump. “He thought it would be like a bye week.”

Trump was stung by DeVos’s upset win, however, and lashed out at the I.Q. test itself, calling it both “fake” and “rigged,” according to the source. “It had been a while since he had taken an I.Q. test,” the source said. “He had forgotten there was a spelling section.”

Elsewhere in the I.Q. tournament, other members of the Trump family were knocked out in the first round as well, with Ivanka Trump falling to Vice-President Mike Pence; Donald Trump, Jr., losing to Trump’s press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders; and Jared Kushner reportedly suffering a lopsided defeat at the hands of Secretary of Energy Rick Perry.
Trump’s son Eric did not participate in the tournament. “That would have been cruel,” the source said.

It's Andy Borowitz. But at this point the truth from this administration is often indistinguishable from satire.

[underpants]

1. lopsided defeat at the hands of Secretary of Energy Rick Perry.

[NewJeffCT]

9. that was the best comment

of the whole piece!

[rainin]

14. "That would be cruel"

got me.

Any chance he'd read the Borowitz Report?

[lindysalsagal]

16. HA!

[wryter2000]

18. You beat me to it

I keep picturing Perry in his glasses

[Afromania]

2. We have reached the point where you can almost believe a satirical headline.

[DK504]

3. LOL

" ... at this point the truth from this administration is often indistinguishable from satire."

How many headlines today have been wondering if they were the Onion?

[Angry Dragon]

4. I thought the Trump admin was all satire................

[Girard442]

5. At this point, satirists must be eating Prozacs out of a bowl with a spoon.

[Sneederbunk]

6. Contestants reportedly getting training from Bob Corker.

[Major Nikon]

7. I definitely didn't have Perry past the first round in my bracket

[cwydro]

8. Lol!

That gave me a much needed laugh!

[Gothmog]

10. I love good satire

[NCjack]

11. It could have actually happened that way. And, the finally winner is: Sec. of Energy Perry

who guessed that the answer to most difficult question on the test, missed by everyone but him and allowed him to win, was "quark". Perry got this one correct because playful physicists in DoE told him that when smart asses tried to embarrass him on topics of advance physics, just shut them down by saying "the answer is 'quark'-- you dumb asses".

[Thomas Hurt]

12. God, losing to Perry........how humiliating.

[NewJeffCT]

20. The guy that Trump once said

started wearing glasses to look smart.

[malaise]

13. Priceless

and that's fugging losing

[sarcasmo]

15. Sleepy eyes Carson the winner?

[lindysalsagal]

17. 45 failed it by not assuming he'd be the brunt of 1000's of IQ jokes, and he had no one to blame

but himself.

DOLT.

[smirkymonkey]

19. ROFL!!

This was one of Andy's better ones.

[IronLionZion]

21. ...