The Empire Strikes Back. . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump

[skip fox]

Donald ("I got your empathy right here," while grabbing his crotch) Trump is saying: " . . . and I want all the citizens of hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico to know that there's a lot of good that's going to come out of this. . . . You'll rebuild even greater than you were before, believe me! . . . And speaking of good, did you notice this beautiful Disaster-in-Chief jacket I had specially made for hurricanes? . . . If it wasn't for them, it never would have never existed."

[malaise]

1. Am I a short-fingered vulgarian or what?

Now try and catch them paper towels

[Girard442]

2. More like, "The Empire Strikes Out."

[left-of-center2012]

3. "With the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln ...

"... I have the most amazing hair of any U.S. President.
Here ~ have a roll of paper towels!"

[underpants]

4. The Magical Misery Tour continues today in Las Vegas

[bdamomma]

5. misery is right

a few guests last night on MSNBC said he is not taking things seriously such as Puerto Rico, of course he isn't he just thinks about himself.

he is getting fatter two double scoop chins.

[NCjack]

6. "Let me tell you -- you are so lucky that you live on a island in tha Gulf of Mexico.

When New Orleans had their Katrina, they lived in bowl. All that water came rushing in, filling the bowl, and thousands died. That was a real disaster. Believe me. But Puerto Rico is an island -- so the water couldn't collect in a bowl. It just runs off in the ocean. That's better -- believe me -- that's why only 6 people -- that's a half of a dozen -- think about -- actually died. You got off so easy -- so easy -- since you don't live in a bowl. And those folks were old that they probably would have died even if -- if -- What's the name of that hurricane that came through? Katrina? Yes, Maria, that's what I said -- Maria. Anyway, none of the lovely ladies -- Puerto Rico is famous for its lovely ladies -- many who are really unaltered 10s -- and I know my unaltereds. I'm going to have the next Miss World Pageant here in San Juan. What do you think, folks? Would you like that? We can get the hurricane reconstruction fund to pay for it -- it will stimulate the economy. I know it stimulates me -- believe me. Just this morning I saw some young lovelies that should be in bikinis enjoying this nice sunny weather. What do you think folks? Wouldn't you really like that? I know I would. Watch out -- toilet paper comin' at ya. (Big smiles)"

[skip fox]

7. WARNING!!!

As I have warned others, it is only fair t warn you as well. Channeling Donald Trump in such a precise and extensive manner could have terrible side-effects. You might get stuck. Remember when your mother told you not to cross your eyes? The sam principle applies here.

[NCjack]

8. Too late for me. I now feel that I know exactly what he's thinking. I'm messed up -- no going back

[Johonny]

9. I got five huge things that are going to happen here. Five. Five huge things. This is bigly.

I think it's too early to tell you those five things. It's too soon. I don't want to step on anyone's toes. Especially with these completely hurricane appropriate boots that we're wearing. Did you see the boots? Get a shot of the boots. And notice, no hat. See I'm learning. I totally can do this job. My thoughts are with you too. Oh, and prayers. Don't forget the prayers. I got so many prayers for you right now, like you wouldn't believe. I'm gonna shoot you out some prayer right now.

"For after seven more days, I will send rain on the earth forty days and forty nights; and I will blot out from the face of the land every living thing that I have made. All flesh that moved on the earth perished, birds and cattle and beasts and every swarming thing that swarms upon the earth, and all mankind; of all that was on the dry land, all in whose nostrils was the breath of the spirit of life, died. Thus He blotted out every living thing that was upon the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky, and they were blotted out from the earth"

Boy nothing like Bible stuff to send warm condolences to cheer you all up. Now who wants some paper towels. We got free T-shirts too. Everyone gets an Atlanta Falcons Superbowl champions T-shirt. Boys get the T-shirt shooters out and start sending them to the crowd. And no one stage rush, because you're all getting one. I'm kidding, we don't have enough. Stage rush.

[edbermac]

10. Donald the Hutt

[GallopingGhost]

12. lmao. n/t

[GallopingGhost]

11. "Look, folks,

the FAKE news is making this hurricane thing out to be worse than it is. Port of Rico-they named it after him, you know, I knew him-terrific guy, terrific-always complimented me- will come back from this and rebuild bigger and better than before-after they pay their debt, of course. We can't-we just can't have this kind of debt from brown people. I don't mean to insult brown people-I love them and they love me. Look how they cheer for me. I threw them paper towels. And not some cheap, generic brand, either.

Look, people misunderstand me. I just want to make white America great again. And one of my top priorities is to take away gay people's power to cause hurricanes."

[dembotoz]

13. i wear this jacket as a constant reminder that i do not have a tee time here