I never took my husband's name and kept the name I was born with. From the first year it has been a battle. Our first accountant took objection to me listing myself as head of household, even though I had the main income. Without consulting with us, he switched names, tacked my husband's surname onto mine and did NOT switch SS#s. The IRS did not like this muddle! That took six months to sort out and likely triggered the four audits we went through over the next few years.
Fortunately our new accountant put the names down the way we wanted, though he convinced me that a woman being head of household would just cause problems. I still am pissed about that bit of pettiness on the part of the IRS.
Then I got a letter from the Social Security Administration wanting to know why I had not notified them of my name change. That took several exchanges of letters to convince them that a married woman would not change her name. Credit card companies cancelled my cards I had held before married and issued new ones with my husband's surname tacked onto my first name. The companies that would not allow me to maintain my own credit lost our business.
While in ER for a concussion, I almost got treated for a much worse condition than I had because my name did not match my husband's. Nothing like having to explain to an ER doctor WHY that is, while I am bleeding from the face and nose and can't stop crying because of the concussion. That was in 1981 and I still have to explain to new doctor offices and to the hospital every fucking time I check in that my last name is not the same as my husband's.
I STILL get calls asking for Mrs. Husband - and some of the people get all huffy when I explain to them that while I am married to Mr. Husband, I am not, never was, and never will be Mrs. Husband.
Even my father did not understand and every single legal document he produced (will, etc) listed me as my name AKA Mrs. Husband even though I have NEVER once used that name, never signed it, never acknowledged it, and told him over and over and over that it was WRONG to put that down.
I am a "Ms" - I am not a "Miss" since I am married - I am not a "Mrs" since I do not use my husband's name. I am me, using the name I have had for 65 years and that I will use for the rest of my life.
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