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Wed Sep 13, 2017, 11:50 AM

Congresss Agenda For The Upcoming Term

Satire from The Onion

Congress just returned from recess, and they are faced with a hugely ambitious agenda. Hereís what they will focus on over the next several months.

Pass a replacement of DACA for Trump to sign and campaign against in 2020

Vote on some shit about wetlands that Congressman Keith Rothfus wonít shut up about

Decide what each of them would be if they were all candy bars

Pass a sweeping healthcare law specifically designed to keep John McCain alive long enough to vote for a full repeal of Obamacare

Get bill that says tax somewhere on it to presidentís desk

Shatter the debt ceiling

Let loose with some free-form indignant shouting

Come together as a united bipartisan front to name a few post offices after Jerry Lewis

Though they have a packed schedule, lawmakers would still like to strip healthcare from 22 million Americans when they have a free minute


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