Only in America could "Bless your heart" become code for "fuck you."

[jodymarie aimee]

Only in America could "Bless your heart" become code for "fuck you." FUGELSANG.

[drray23]

1. in the south only.nt.

[jodymarie aimee]

2. live in Wisconsin and we are by no means South

they are under every rock, we were the petri dish...

[Doreen]

3. Heard that before also in Washington state.

[blogslut]

4. It always has been AFAICR

Granted, it's a nuanced phrase and one must consider the person being addressed. The phrase that I consider more offensively passive-aggressive is "I will pray for you." - certain people pack so much seething hatred inside those words.

[TomSlick]

5. In my part of the South

"bless your heart," means "you're an idiot." We don't wish you any particular ill just recognize that you will bring it on yourself.

Actually, it's more complicated. If someone does you a favor, the response is "bless your heart" meaning thanks.

The meaning is only known from the context and tone of voice.

[southerncrone]

12. I concur, TomSlick. In TN, it does have multiple meanings,

just as you said, depends on context & tone.

[Hortensis]

13. Exactly. " Bless your heart" is part of a lot of thank-yous.

Or "My goodness, she's slowing to 20 on every turn. Bless her heart." Criticism with an acceptance and recognition that someone is a person.

One element of southern behavior that should be copied widely. Taking it as mean and hostile instead of a way of avoiding being mean misses the wonderful function of this phrase.

[KelleyKramer]

14. Yes, in the South it has multiple meanings

You are exactly right, it needs to be taken in context to know what the person really means

And yes one of those are a passive aggressive way of saying fuck you.

[theaocp]

17. And therein lies the issue

Why be passive aggressive about telling someone how you feel? Are we fucking middle schoolers? If you have to say what you think with a "wink", what does that say about you? (not you in particular)

[mitch96]

20. I think it's part of the Aunt Tillie thing

It transcends the "if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all"
At face value you are paying them a compliment but not. So Aunt Tilly who at trys to be nice gets a free pass to diss you... uggh.. She would never say something bad to your face..
m

[KelleyKramer]

24. Well, some places it's not socially acceptable. ..

to use foul language. Maybe it's at work, or church, or maybe a PTA meeting

And there might be other places you could get away with saying fuck you, but the person really is a passive aggressive prick

[Ken Burch]

15. Sounds like the variants in meaning in the New Yawk term "fuhgeddaboudit"

Which. as I understand it, can mean either "brilliant suggestion", "don't sweat it" or "no way you don't get whacked for that".

[FLPanhandle]

6. In Canada, it's "Fuck you, please"

Probably followed by an "I'm sorry"

[theaocp]

19. Bien sur lol

Je t'aime, Canada. hahahahaha

[Solly Mack]

7. It really depends on context/inflection. It can mean exactly what it says and it can mean "Fuck you"

or "You're an idiot".

Really, it depends.

But I suppose one would have to be raised around the use of the phrase to understand that much like the word "fuck", it has more than one use/meaning.

I can make "Thank you" sound like "fuck you". Again, all depends on context and inflection.

I speak fluent southern.

[mitch96]

8. I love the term

Especially when talking to Yangeezz... They think I'm being nice...
Kinda sorta like when you don't give a pan handler any money and they say "God bless"
Another way of saying F.U.
m

[phylny]

16. Yankee in the south here. We know what you really mean.

We're just too nice to diss you right to your face.

[mitch96]

18. In my experience....

I have not found that to be true.. Than again I lived "up north" but have spent most of my life in the south.. I still have some of my nuYawk accent so maybe they think I'm "un ermano".
YMMV..
m

[theaocp]

21. That's not nice

That's cowardly.

[davsand]

9. One of those really useful phrases.

You can say the meanest possible things about somebody as long as it's followed by, "Bless his/her heart" or "God love 'em!" It's a common thing in the south and in rural areas. In customer service situations, "Have a nice day" can be delivered absolutely dripping with venom, and nobody can complain about it without sounding like a total ass. All are useful phrases to keep in your toolbox.

I think the thing that really is elevated to a high art in the south is throwing shade. No place on earth I have ever seen houses more people capable of throwing shade in full sunlight. "Is that a new dress?" is an example of what I'm talking about. It can be somebody commenting on a new outfit, or it can be a subtle comment that they have noticed you are wearing the same stuff all the time, or maybe even a comment on your taste. It's all rooted in the inflection and the body language.

Tasting the potato salad you took to a cookout, "She didn't use Dukes." "My granny always dressed her 'taters warm." "I've never had celery in this before..."

Your new hair cut. Your car. Your flowers. Your decorating skills...

It's a high art. Seriously. Bless their hearts.


Laura

[mitch96]

22. "high art in the south is throwing shade."

Bingo!! I was trying to think of the Idea and that's it... Throwing shade.
I would also add the slight right to left head shake to add emphasis..
m

[greyl]

10. But it's not a geographic phenomenon. It's religious. nt

[mitch96]

23. What I get down here alot is

" Have a blessed day" Don't know it's origin but its being thrown around a bunch. The guy at the convenience store hit me with this the other day and I said.. NO! He was taken aback by my response. Isn't it a Witchie/Wicken term? or is it "blessed be" I don't remember..
m

[Hortensis]

11. Is is something in the North American soil, perhaps?

Does South America have this, or some other, insidious dehumanizing factor?

[librechik]

25. shh--nobody in my neighborhood knows that yet n/t

[kacekwl]

26. I hope that hasn't always been the case.

I visited my mother's relatives in Texas when I was fiveish (a long time ago) ..and all I recall was chasing chickens , watching old men play dominos , drinking Dr. Pepper and the old ladies saying about me " Bless his heart " .