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Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:08 PM

Just had big argument with my wife about Trump

I told her Trump had disbanded his business committee because so many CEOs were resigning in protest.

She said Barack Obama was behind the white supremacist marches in Charlottesville. I needed to do my homework.It was an Obama fan who organized it, and Donald Trump had condemned the bigots. Basically anyone who was criticizing him was already against him. She said she's not a Trump fan, and I needed to see both sides.

I yelled at her and said there aren't two sides when we are talking about Nazis and my grandfather died fighting Nazis, and then I stormed off. I am so upset.

123 replies, 13055 views

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Reply Just had big argument with my wife about Trump (Original post)
Doodley Aug 2017 OP
Phoenix61 Aug 2017 #1
Gravitycollapse Aug 2017 #2
Doodley Aug 2017 #4
Gravitycollapse Aug 2017 #10
Doodley Aug 2017 #26
Gravitycollapse Aug 2017 #33
trixie2 Aug 2017 #104
Tikki Aug 2017 #57
Name removed Aug 2017 #123
Dreamer Tatum Aug 2017 #28
Gravitycollapse Aug 2017 #34
Doodley Aug 2017 #38
Gravitycollapse Aug 2017 #42
obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #69
RestoreAmerica2020 Aug 2017 #78
Break time Aug 2017 #3
LexVegas Aug 2017 #5
Justice Aug 2017 #6
leftynyc Aug 2017 #13
Doodley Aug 2017 #20
Spider Jerusalem Aug 2017 #7
MontanaMama Aug 2017 #8
Blue_true Aug 2017 #88
redstateblues Aug 2017 #9
leftynyc Aug 2017 #11
Doodley Aug 2017 #40
leftynyc Aug 2017 #43
lester94111 Aug 2017 #12
Weekend Warrior Aug 2017 #14
Doodley Aug 2017 #21
Weekend Warrior Aug 2017 #25
Doodley Aug 2017 #44
WhiteTara Aug 2017 #103
Yupster Aug 2017 #121
uponit7771 Aug 2017 #15
stopbush Aug 2017 #16
Ilsa Aug 2017 #18
asiliveandbreathe Aug 2017 #35
Fluke a Snooker Aug 2017 #74
Name removed Aug 2017 #90
Fluke a Snooker Aug 2017 #107
stopbush Aug 2017 #109
Fluke a Snooker Aug 2017 #112
womanofthehills Aug 2017 #120
LeftInTX Aug 2017 #101
Ilsa Aug 2017 #17
Doodley Aug 2017 #24
Ilsa Aug 2017 #41
StarryNite Aug 2017 #93
Angry Dragon Aug 2017 #19
hamsterjill Aug 2017 #47
True Dough Aug 2017 #60
hamsterjill Aug 2017 #64
uponit7771 Aug 2017 #70
shraby Aug 2017 #22
Fluke a Snooker Aug 2017 #58
DesertRat Aug 2017 #73
Scoopster Aug 2017 #23
asiliveandbreathe Aug 2017 #27
Doodley Aug 2017 #36
asiliveandbreathe Aug 2017 #51
spanone Aug 2017 #29
rzemanfl Aug 2017 #30
Name removed Aug 2017 #96
rzemanfl Aug 2017 #108
jmg257 Aug 2017 #31
Dave Starsky Aug 2017 #32
Egnever Aug 2017 #59
Dave Starsky Aug 2017 #75
Egnever Aug 2017 #81
WhiskeyGrinder Aug 2017 #37
Floyd R. Turbo Aug 2017 #39
procon Aug 2017 #45
PoindexterOglethorpe Aug 2017 #46
BamaRefugee Aug 2017 #48
Egnever Aug 2017 #98
Egnever Aug 2017 #49
Blue_true Aug 2017 #76
Egnever Aug 2017 #87
sarcasmo Aug 2017 #50
aikoaiko Aug 2017 #52
Lebam in LA Aug 2017 #53
titaniumsalute Aug 2017 #54
Fluke a Snooker Aug 2017 #55
AlexSFCA Aug 2017 #56
womanofthehills Aug 2017 #84
grantcart Aug 2017 #61
The Wielding Truth Aug 2017 #110
grantcart Aug 2017 #114
wryter2000 Aug 2017 #62
Moostache Aug 2017 #63
mahatmakanejeeves Aug 2017 #65
Ken Burch Aug 2017 #66
nini Aug 2017 #67
lindysalsagal Aug 2017 #68
womanofthehills Aug 2017 #85
lindysalsagal Aug 2017 #117
obamanut2012 Aug 2017 #71
wryter2000 Aug 2017 #72
Blue_true Aug 2017 #82
wryter2000 Aug 2017 #89
Blue_true Aug 2017 #92
MyNameGoesHere Aug 2017 #77
Blue_true Aug 2017 #94
Dave Starsky Aug 2017 #95
renate Aug 2017 #79
beachjustice Aug 2017 #80
Blue_true Aug 2017 #83
Vinnie From Indy Aug 2017 #86
Shrike47 Aug 2017 #91
StarryNite Aug 2017 #97
struggle4progress Aug 2017 #99
Codeine Aug 2017 #100
Warpy Aug 2017 #102
SummerSnow Aug 2017 #105
SummerSnow Aug 2017 #106
gibraltar72 Aug 2017 #111
Awsi Dooger Aug 2017 #113
blueinredohio Aug 2017 #115
crosinski Aug 2017 #116
greytdemocrat Aug 2017 #118
mvd Aug 2017 #119
progressoid Aug 2017 #122

Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:12 PM

1. I am so sorry

I don't know what else to say.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:13 PM

2. She needs a reality check. And you, in all honesty, might need a divorce.

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Response to Gravitycollapse (Reply #2)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:15 PM

4. Not an option. I married through love, and good times and bad.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #4)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:17 PM

10. Is she capable of critical thought?

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Response to Gravitycollapse (Reply #10)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:27 PM

26. No - not on politics - she's been exposed to the brainwashing media on the right - her family are

very much to the right.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #26)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:31 PM

33. Then the only option really is to leave her. Life is too short to live with that kind of mess.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #26)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:28 PM

104. That would be a deal breaker for me

I can coexist with conservatives IF they are not racist. Racism to me is no go. If what you are saying she said is true, you may have married a racist.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #4)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:51 PM

57. Where there good times for you when Barack Obama was President?

President Obama was the President of the United States for 8 years...very successfully as a President.

Tikli

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Response to Doodley (Reply #4)


Response to Gravitycollapse (Reply #2)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:28 PM

28. Yup - politics is all that ever matters.

Good call.

Say, do you think I need a new car? I'm due for an oil change, after all.

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Response to Dreamer Tatum (Reply #28)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:32 PM

34. If your car hated black people I would say it's time for a new one.

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Response to Gravitycollapse (Reply #34)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:36 PM

38. My wife doesn't hate black people. I have never thought that.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #38)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:39 PM

42. She doesn't hate black people but blames neo-nazi violence on a black man?

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Response to Doodley (Reply #38)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:05 PM

69. of course she does

What you wrote shows she does.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #38)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:17 PM

78. If your car hated first nation, mexicans, black, asian, jew, muslims, and lgbt Americans...

.....and other groups who are nonwhite, nonchristian, immigrants and refugees you need a new car, walk alone ...or just go to her and give her a great big hug, it must be terrible to stand in hate where you blame a black man for the sins of racist America. You are her light to a better America, you are her better half. Paz





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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:13 PM

3. And you are

still married to her..????

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:15 PM

5. Your wife is dumb. Sorry.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:16 PM

6. Seriously where did she hear this from - totally messed up.

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Response to Justice (Reply #6)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:18 PM

13. I've seen it on twitter

 

and some other boards.

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Response to Justice (Reply #6)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:20 PM

20. She comes from a racist family. An example is when we were looking for houses. Her mother

was in the car when we got to our neighborhood. She saw a man working in his front yard and said "unroll the window, I want to ask this man how many blacks are in the neighborhood." I have had quite a few arguments with her parents about their bigoted opinions over the years.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:16 PM

7. Yeah, I'd get a divorce.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:16 PM

8. Holy hell. That sounds awful.

I'm so sorry.

Worst fight I ever had in 22 years of marriage was on election night. I was emotionally unraveling and my husband said I "needed to relax". I'll bet there are lots of us in this boat.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #8)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:40 PM

88. I unraveled on election night also.

When I saw Trump was likely to win, I filled with rage at people that voted for him, if I had met one I would have likely tried to hurt that person. But I moved on and now am really tough on jackasses, I used to hold my tongue.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:17 PM

9. I can relate. I get in some pretty heated discussions with my wife.

She is becoming more conservative than when we first met. I called her Archie Bunker last time we got into it. She does hate Trump so that is something we agree on.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:17 PM

11. Ask her

 

(stipulating you don't think it's true but go with it for a moment) how a lefty was able to fool the intellectually superior right wingers so easily that he was able to get them to show up in Virginia and force behave like the nazi scum they are. How embarrassing it is they were so easily fooled.

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Response to leftynyc (Reply #11)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:37 PM

40. Good point. I will save that for another time!

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Response to Doodley (Reply #40)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:42 PM

43. While I can certainly appreciate

 

you taking your vows so seriously (up above in another comment), everybody deserves happiness. Please remember that.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:17 PM

12. sigh...

Why are you still married to a White Supremacist sympathizer?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:18 PM

14. 1) Don't yell at your wife.

 

2) "She said she's not a Trump fan" Why would she feel the need to make that qualifier to her husband?

I'm very sorry to sound so cold. It just sounds really strange to me. Sounds more like an argument with a stranger in a coffee shop.

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Response to Weekend Warrior (Reply #14)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:23 PM

21. I think she said it because I told her that she always has to defend Trump. Yes

it is strange because she insists we don't talk about politics.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #21)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:26 PM

25. "I told her that she always has to defend Trump"

 

"she insists we don't talk about politics"

Doesn't seem to be working well.

I hope you both find sunshine moving forward.

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Response to Weekend Warrior (Reply #25)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:42 PM

44. The sunshine will come when Trump goes. He is one of the worst things I have

ever experienced or seen in my life. He has shattered so much of all I have come to value, but for her, he is a Republican President.

He needs to go!

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Response to Doodley (Reply #44)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:22 PM

103. No. No sunshine when he goes. She will remain who

she is and you have to decide how much you are willing to sacrifice to be with a Nazi sympathizer.

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Response to Weekend Warrior (Reply #14)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 11:56 PM

121. Yeah, he had me until he said he yelled at his wife

My advice.

Don't talk politics with her.

You may want to take a break yourself. If you're yelling at your wife you need a break.

And apologize for yelling at her.

Just my advice.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:18 PM

15. Calm down, in the end you're on the same side against Benedict Donald. After a while ask for the ...

... link or story from a credible source of Obama being behind the marches ... it'll be from a winger site at best or nothing at all.

Then you can set a credible source as a starting point for political conversation.

Been there

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:19 PM

16. My wife -who is a D and hates tRump - asked yesterday if tRump had a point

about Washington and Jefferson owning slaves. I replied, "they founded the country. The Confederacy tried to destroy the country. That's the difference. That's why there should be no monuments to the Confederacy or those who fought on the side of the Confederacy."

She got it, but this was a reminder that the pernicious and constant drumbeat of RW talking points can and do influence even those who are not generally receptive to that message. Whataboutism only works against the left because people want to feel they're open minded.

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Response to stopbush (Reply #16)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:19 PM

18. That's it. Thank you. nt

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Response to stopbush (Reply #16)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:34 PM

35. The Confederacy tried to destroy the country. - you are absolutely

spot on...and they are trying to do it again.....

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Response to stopbush (Reply #16)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:11 PM

74. Actually, Washington and Jefferson SHOULD get scrutiny

 

"Founding" this country is no excuse, considering it was "founded" when slavery was legal all OVER the country. Indeed, we should hold ourselves accountable for all injustices starting with Columbus' slaughter of native Americans (actually, Caribbeans, but I digress).

As far as your spouse: Harper's Bazaar actually recommends all spouses divorce their Trump-supporting spouse. There can be no middle ground from now going forward: The ENTIRE REPUBLICAN PARTY is, at the very least, complicit with white racism and are definitely guilty of white oppressive economic and societal policies.

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Response to Fluke a Snooker (Reply #74)


Response to Name removed (Reply #90)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:43 PM

107. WTH...

 

If you have anything meaningful to say, SAY it. It sounds,though, as if you APPROVE of spouses remaining married to Trump voters, and in extension that you APPROVE of your own children being exposed to racist, xenophobic, or at best, ignorant attitude. If you are going to defend such marriages, then speak with intelligence, NOT with right-wing white supremacist-level buffoonery.

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Response to Fluke a Snooker (Reply #74)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:04 PM

109. How do you personally hold yourself accountable for Columbus killing

native Caribbeans? I mean, right now, today.

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Response to stopbush (Reply #109)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:16 PM

112. It was the start of the entire sordid experience non-whites endured from whites...

 

...that has led, through the country's founding, its travails, until Charlottesville.

It is not a matter of holding myself accountable to a SPECIFIC incident. It is IMPERATIVE, though, that I hold myself accountable, as a white person, to the atrocities committed by my race, especially through Charlottesville.

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Response to Fluke a Snooker (Reply #74)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 11:52 PM

120. My best friend finally just divorced her psycho Trump loving husband

after 30 yrs of marriage. She now has herself a liberal Hispanic man and is happier than she has been in the last 3 decades.

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Response to stopbush (Reply #16)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:14 PM

101. Exactly it is the RW talking points

There are alot a people out there who really do feel it is "both sides" and Trump is just reinforcing it. The Republicans who are condemning the alt-right groups are listening to the racists actual words. They have actual experience with diverse populations. They know what is going on.

Not-so informed people who just flip on a TV may see guys with clean cut hair, khaki pants and tiki torches. If the not-so informed TV watchers (Fox News watchers) don't listen to the actual words it looks like a frat event or something. In this case it is the words that matter and the context in which all of this is taking place. People who are not well informed can dismiss it as "both sides".

(I hope I made sense!)

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:19 PM

17. OMG. I guess she's been reading some bs

Website trying to blame everything on Obama. A black man is behind the organizing of White Supremacists. A black man whose wife's ancestors were slaves did this. A black man whose black daughters stand to be hurt by the monsters coming out of tge woodwork did this, according to her.

Man, I feel for you. But be gentle. Guide her gently to see the truth, because what she is saying makes zero sense.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #17)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:25 PM

24. She stayed Monday night with her mother who always has Faux News on.

I appreciate your advice.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #24)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:38 PM

41. You're sweet. And no one wants to wreck, even in a minor way,

A good nmarriage because of fuggin donald trump.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #24)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:49 PM

93. Sounds like she needs some antivenom

when she comes home from the snake pit.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:19 PM

19. ask her for the facts

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Response to Angry Dragon (Reply #19)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:44 PM

47. This!

Sit down over a cup of coffee (or whatever you drink), and remember the words of Heather Heyer's mother. Paraphrasing badly here, but she said that we need to have those uncomfortable conversations. She's right.

Ask you wife her reasons for thinking as she does, and try to listen. Then, try to counter those with the REAL facts. Be prepared and be thorough. Don't get angry, but do be consistent.

Somehow, I would imagine doing this would take SEVERAL cups of coffee, too!!! Best of luck. You are doing something that I, myself, could not do. I could not live in the same house with someone who would not disavow all that is Trump.

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Response to hamsterjill (Reply #47)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:53 PM

60. Sounds like she drinks

the Kool-Aid.

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Response to True Dough (Reply #60)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:03 PM

64. Touche'

Your clever is better than my clever today. Touche'!!!

Well done!

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Response to Angry Dragon (Reply #19)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:06 PM

70. +1, calmly just ask where the person got that from as objectively as possible

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Response to Doodley (Original post)


Response to shraby (Reply #22)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:51 PM

58. PLEASE fix your title! N/t

 

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Response to shraby (Reply #22)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:11 PM

73. Colored?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:24 PM

23. You need to ask her.

She claims you're not doing your homework, so ask her where she is getting her information from. This thing about Obama having planned anything here is total BS so it's clear she's either reading something that's deliberately misleading or someone is telling her this nonsense.

And honestly.. if this continues to be a source of argument between you then it will escalate & overpower any bond of love & marriage you both have, whether you want it to or not. I've seen enough relationships among my group of friends turn sour b/c of political BS over the past 10 years to know that it will.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:27 PM

27. That must be so difficult..like having a spouse who drinks and you don't..

My daughter and I CANNOT talk ..I don't know where she gets it..she is old enough to know better..we just don't talk anymore..that is what is sad..but I'm NOT backing down....

Right now, I am dealing with my hubby who is very sick, last three days have been a nightmare..he got dehydrated....and almost lost all control of body functions....I am exhausted, but strong and persistant...so NOT talking with daughter and her drama is a good thing.....

Agree to disagree with your wife, is about all the advise I can give you..when you get 30+ years down the road..you understand how to "come about"...if that is what you want....

BTW - your wife is totally wrong....needs guidance...

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Response to asiliveandbreathe (Reply #27)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:34 PM

36. I hope your husband makes a good recover and maybe there will

come a time when things improve with your daughter. Thank you for your advice.

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Response to Doodley (Reply #36)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:46 PM

51. Today is the first day I have felt some relief - he is on the mend..walking gingerly -

But walking..

As for my daughter...I will always love her..I just cannot entertain her point of view....she certainly didn't get it from me....

I am grateful for the kindness of those here at DU..thank you

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:28 PM

29. please seek help for your wife.

she's extremely confused.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:30 PM

30. You need a divorce. n/t

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Response to rzemanfl (Reply #30)


Response to Name removed (Reply #96)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:47 PM

108. Married almost 40 years to a woman who is not an idiot. n/t

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:30 PM

31. Hmmm - now just WHY would Mr Obama organize a white supremacists/Nazi rally?

He just LOVES those Robert E Lee statues, I guess?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:31 PM

32. Didn't you iron these things out before you got married?

Because I've been married a LONG time, and politics was one of the first subjects we ever talked about in our first dates.

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Response to Dave Starsky (Reply #32)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:53 PM

59. True story

 

My wife and I got together the night of the million man march. We sat up all night watching it together and had our first kiss when I walked her to her car in the wee hours of the morning.

We have been on the same page politically as long as we have known each other.

Can't begin to imagine living with someone who would even try to make excuses for Trump.

20 years later I am proud of her every single day.

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Response to Egnever (Reply #59)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:15 PM

75. So you met in a political context.

That's terrific. You already knew you had that in common.

I wasn't sure my new girlfriend (future wife) shared those beliefs. When she opened up and I saw that we were on the EXACT same page politcally, I knew she was the one for me. It was like the heavens opened.

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Response to Dave Starsky (Reply #75)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:30 PM

81. Well not really

 

Last edited Wed Aug 16, 2017, 11:58 PM - Edit history (1)

We we're actually friends for months before that night. We were both moved that evening watching the March unfold and listening to the powerful speakers. There was something brewing between us before that but that bond with humanity that night broke the damn and we have been together ever since.


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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:34 PM

37. Lord, get counseling.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:36 PM

39. Damn! I'm so fortunate that my wife and I agree on nearly everything, especially when it comes to

politics.

Our only contentious issue is how frequently we should watch Meg Ryan films! 😏

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:43 PM

45. You're in a difficult situation. I don't know how anyone copes with

that level of stress and discouragement. I don't think I'd last too long if someone was quoting Trump and arguing that there were "two sides". Sure, one side hates, and the other is opposed to hate, and somehow their Trumpian logic is to pretend that both are somehow equally to "blame"? No, that just wrong headed.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:44 PM

46. First off, ask her what evidence there is that

Obama is behind those marches. And nothing from Fox can be submitted as evidence. Chances are, her "evidence" either comes from Fox, from simple unfounded claims by various unreliable sources, or were simply invented by someone with an ax to grind.

Ask her for further evidence that Trump condemned the bigots. Point out that his statements about "both sides being at fault" is simply incorrect.

Her notion of both sides is something along the lines of: Some people say the earth is round. Others say it is flat.

Those are not two sides with equal validity.

Anyway, back to your wife and her completely misinformed statements. Saying that anyone criticizing Trump is already against him shows that she is clearly only seeing one side. I find it hard to believe her statement that she's not a Trump fan when she's parroting such counter-factual claims.

Really, I could not remain married to someone like this, but that's just me. Fortunately for me I have very few relatives who have gone over to the dark side. And those I simply don't waste time with.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:44 PM

48. I know that sick feeling. Every night when I turn on the TV downstairs, it's been tuned to FOX NEWS.

She thinks she's watching it in secret. When I asked her about it she says " I need to know both sides".
This isn't gonna last.

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Response to BamaRefugee (Reply #48)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:07 PM

98. Good that sucks

 

So sorry. Fucking Fox.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:45 PM

49. Wow

 

Well I wish you no misfortune but I don't see how this marriage works out.

I just can't imagine.

How can a marriage survive hiding basic beliefs like that from each other.

I get it love is blind but love can also be fleeting.

I have been married for 20 years now and while we have had arguments over the years they were never on such a fundamental level.

Part of what keeps us together is our respect for each other and it would be difficult if not impossible for me to have that respect for someone that felt racism was excusable
.

I have loved far too many people over the years that look nothing like me to ever accept an ignorant view point like that.


I hope she can put that shit aside because if she can't it will drive you apart over time.

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Response to Egnever (Reply #49)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:16 PM

76. People often ignore politics when choosing a mate. Big mistake. nt

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Response to Blue_true (Reply #76)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:38 PM

87. Yup

 

You can survive it in the short term but over time it can be insidious and will end up destroying your relationship.

I hope the OP can work it out but I don't think long term it is going to go well.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:46 PM

50. I could never marry a Racist.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:47 PM

52. Silver Lining: A good opportunity for make-up sex!

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:47 PM

53. Newlywed?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:49 PM

54. No offense

But if my wife thought that way we wouldn't be married any longer.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:50 PM

55. If your spouse supports Drumpf, DIVORCE NOW!!

 

This should not even be debatable. And make sure your take the kids and do NOT let your ex have unsupervised visits with your kids!

(By the way...do NOT fall for the lie that an Obama supporter started the entire thing. This was strictly started, and the vast majority of violence was committed by, Republican White Racists (sorry for the redundancy).

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:50 PM

56. don't let trump ruin your marriage

I have bernie supporters in my circle of friends and many of them also beleive trump has a point. This is a moment for education.

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Response to AlexSFCA (Reply #56)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:35 PM

84. And what Point would that be?????????

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:55 PM

61. Well you came to the right place for advice on marital counseling.


If you need medical or legal advice you can get lots of that too.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #61)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:06 PM

110. Tell her that what she is saying makes absolutely no sense. If it does to her then she needs to

explain it to you so it makes sense to you, because it is not what Nazi's are like. If this is an Obama plan then why is trump standing up for the Nazi's. He would be trying to make peace. The party of Lincoln should remember that Lincoln was a Union president and we fought against the Confederates to the death.

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Response to The Wielding Truth (Reply #110)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:41 PM

114. tell my wife? I don't think so. lol

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:57 PM

62. I'm so sorry

I don't know how you can deal with such ignorance from someone so close and beloved.

Has she been watching Faux? Can you get someone else to speak to her? Otherwise you'll have to declare all politics off limits for discussion. You can always come here to talk to us.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 02:58 PM

63. I knew Obama was smooth and a damn fine president...but a Jedi Master too? Daaaayummmmm....

Your wife is just like the rest of the non-thinking drones that allow the right-wing media to infect their minds and short-circuit their reasoning...

1) If Obama was so bad, why the obsession with him still? Since he is apparently Obi-Wan Kenobi in the flesh, telling us all which droids we're after and whose papers we need to see, why doesn't he also infect the mind of Trump and make him resign already? He is after all one seriously powerful black man...I would even throw in some mocking sound effects too...but I am not a very mature person...

2) If Hillary was so bad, why the remaining obsession with her? She was a master criminal for 25 years, and so OBVIOUSLY GUILTY that they had a show trial for her at their Nuremberg warm-up rally in Cleveland last year...yet, despite ALL these crimes and ALL these conspiracies, she was NEVER found guilty of a damn thing by any of them or any courts at all...how damned incompetent ARE the GOP investigators? They make Clouseau look like Bond...

3) If she gets you angry to the point of having to leave, then keep going straight to a lawyer's office and file for divorce. Life's too short to allow someone that supposedly respects and loves you drive you to such levels of stress and anger.


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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:03 PM

65. Ars longa, trump brevis. This too shall pass. NT

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:05 PM

66. I hate to say this, but that sounds like an "irreconcilable difference".

 

Has she said things like this before, or was this out of nowhere?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:05 PM

67. You're married to a nazi sympathizer

If you can live with that - then so be it.

Only YOU can choose what side of history you want to be on.

I'd be out the door right after that argument.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:05 PM

68. Dude. She's your wife. Don't wreck your family for that toad. Fix it, quick.

Seriously: Just like you don't have to think exactly like her, she doesn't have to think exactly like you, and yelling about it only makes her defensive.



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Response to lindysalsagal (Reply #68)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:37 PM

85. How do you fix a mate who is not rational?

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Response to womanofthehills (Reply #85)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 06:38 PM

117. You don't fix your wife. You accept. He's not worth ruining a marriage.

And he's no test for rationality. You don't have the right to tell people what to believe, especially your spouse.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:06 PM

71. lulz

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:10 PM

72. FWIW

When I married my husband he was pretty conservative. He'd voted for Reagan. He and his friends would sometimes make racist jokes. I told him calmly that was completely unacceptable. The very worst argument we ever had (I screamed and left the house and slept in our car) was when he referred to someone as a kike.

I'm not sure what all changed him, I think maybe my example of being kind to people and talking about how hurtful hearing racist, anti-Semitic, anti LGBT talk and jokes was for me.

But eventually, he came around to the point where I could allow him to fill out my absentee ballot, and sometimes he took positions more liberal than my own. Thing is he was an empathic person but had been brought up with bad ideas.

He died a Democrat. I still have his registration card.

I don't know if you can be as successful because I didn't have to deal with Fox loving family. But I would definitely suggest you put discussion of politics off-limits. Tell her it hurts you to argue about it. Of course, that means you can't bring up politics, either.

Good luck.

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Response to wryter2000 (Reply #72)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:30 PM

82. I worked for a guy once.

Decent person, demanding but decent. One day he used the term "Jap". I was stunned but because we were in a group, I did not call him out because that would have looked like I was showing him up. After the group broke up, I asked to speak with him privately and closed the door. I explained that the term he used was racist and hurtful. Although I am not a member of the group he insulted, he understood that I was offended by his action and had strong feeling about it. We had a pleasant conversation about the issue with him explaining his position, his dad fought in the pacific in WWII and used the term, he had'nt thought twice about it. He apologized and promised not to use it anymore, which he never did. I had enough experience with the guy to know he was not racist and I did not face negative consequences for calling him out.

I have a policy where if I hear anyone, including family use a racist term, I call them out privately. I know the terms but never use them in any type of conversation at all and will never use them.

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Response to Blue_true (Reply #82)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:42 PM

89. He sounds like a good man

Not everyone will listen to reason, but some will.

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Response to wryter2000 (Reply #89)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:49 PM

92. The guy is. One of the most fundamentally people that I have known.

That is why that term shocked and angered me.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:16 PM

77. My checklist for marrying someone

1. Is a racist? If yes run away
2. Voted or supported Republicans if yes run away

I can deal with the rest of it, but I won't sell my soul for "love"

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Response to MyNameGoesHere (Reply #77)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:50 PM

94. Same here. nt

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Response to MyNameGoesHere (Reply #77)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:53 PM

95. These things are usually worked out in the dating stage.

I don't understand how anyone could marry anyone who doesn't share their core beliefs. These are conversations that usually happen almost immediately.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:24 PM

79. I wish you luck

It would break my heart to hear my spouse say those words. It really would. I'm so sorry.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:28 PM

80. Who cares who organized it? Look at the folks who willingly marched.

Did Obama organize the violence too? No. The ralliers chose to instigate violence, and chose to use a rally as an excuse to intimidate others. It was painfully obvious from the beginning, and it was all done of their own free will. What the organizer told them to do is totally irrelevant.

People who buy these weak excuses need to look themselves in a mirror and realize how harmful it is to any society to have such deeply deluded and totally unfalsifiable conspiracy thinking. Unfalsifiable ideas have no predictive value. We can't effectively make sense of our world with them.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:33 PM

83. Look, I hate to say this.

But looks like your marriage is over. That was not ignorance your wife displayed, her deep feelings came out. Your choice seem to be either become like her and stay married or get a divorce.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:37 PM

86. Ask her how long she has listened to Rush Limbaugh

That is what the huge pile of shit was spewing just today. It was no accident that she said the organizer of the march in Charlottesville was an Obama voter.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:47 PM

91. Tell her you love her but her statement bothered you and you want to know the basis.

Be sincere. Listen to what she says and her sources. Read them and then you can have a rational discussion. Make it clear that is what you intend to do rather than just blow her off.

Probably, her source is her mother. That's a stumper; you will probably upset her if you point out her mother is a Nazi and a racist.

If she has sources, assemble some reasonable material and ask her to read it as you read her material. Then you two might reach some agreement.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 03:57 PM

97. Nurture or Nature...

it doesn't matter. It's who she is today, at this very point in time. My husband voted for Trump but even he doesn't get the Nazi mentality. His uncle died when the B-24 he was in was shot down during WWII, so he totally gets that. Take your wife to a veteran's cemetery and have her look at all the people who defended her right to be ignorant. They didn't all die in war but they served. ALL colors served. Get her a good history book, if she doesn't know how to read, read it to her! And for your own sanity, don't spend Thanksgiving in her parents' snake pit!

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:11 PM

99. I myself have never persuaded anyone of the correctness of my views by shouting.

Perhaps it is a good time to recall that you married her for some reason other her political savvy.

Be kind and patient.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:12 PM

100. Yeahhhhhh. That's some weapons-grade stupid right there. nt

 

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:15 PM

102. If you want to stay married to this woman

you need to keep politics off the table as an item of discussion.

Period.

She's imbibed deeply of the Kool Aid and anything that contradicts her will only make her defensive. You have to cut off any discussion at the outset, change the subject, and hope something non fatal wakes her the fuck up.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:33 PM

105. She thinks Obama ( a black man) "organized" white supremacist?

Or an Obama supporter who organized it? How does she know this?

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 04:37 PM

106. Today, when couples start thinking about getting married....

these are some very important things couples really need to discuss before marrying and having children.

1. religion
2. politics
3. racial issues
4. employment
5. in laws
6. social issues

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:07 PM

111. Dude

WTF!

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 05:26 PM

113. Typical example, and not an extreme one

 

Trumpeteers make sure carrier pigeons take the latest deflective bullshit to all the popular reservoirs. There it is admired and spread further.

That's why it's ridiculous to believe Trump's approval rating will drop appreciably more. A huge percentage of his devotees won't react negatively to anything.

However, we should be prioritizing registration drives right now. Every college campus. Every logical venue. The percentage gain would be overwhelming. If all we do is react in astonishment and disgust every day it's wasted opportunity.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 06:31 PM

115. She must have been watching Fox

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 06:38 PM

116. I'm so sorry.

You know, your wife's values must have attracted you to her. That being said, they have nothing to do with you. You can still love her without liking all of her values, thoughts, and behaviors, although at some point these things do start to add up.

If you can live a life that allows both of you to put your values front and center, then you're golden!

If her values, and her family's, are overpowering yours in any way though, you have a big problem.

May I suggest you learn to honor each other's values. Honoring is different than agreeing 100%. It's simply acknowledging that fact that someone has put a lot of thought into a subject and has come to a conclusion based on their skills and life experience.

I think we probably all have values that we can't compromise though. Sadly, you might to have to think about that. Equally sadly, your wife may not be as emotionally 'attuned' to this as you are.

Good luck to you and your wife.



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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 11:34 PM

118. Hopefully

She doesn't see this thread...

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 11:41 PM

119. Not good for the marriage if it upsets you that much

I know I could not be married to a Republican. Depending on how much strain it puts on you, you may need to get away.

Luckily my immediate family doesn't have that problem. I argued with my parents about Hillary and Bernie - they were big Hillary supporters and I was an equally big Bernie supporter. But that's nothing like arguing with a Trump defender.

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Response to Doodley (Original post)

Thu Aug 17, 2017, 12:07 PM

122. To all those saying, "divorce her"...hold on a minute.

First, you aren't marriage councelors. You don't know their whose history.

Second, this may not be a permanent point of view for her. Without going into specifics, my wife and I have differed on a couple of major issues in the past. We weathered the storm and are now on same path. People can change. Well, some people can. Not Donald Trump of course.

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