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Mon Aug 14, 2017, 03:24 PM

Man in Hostage Video Forced to Recite Words Not His Own

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A disturbing hostage video surfaced on Monday showing an American man woodenly reciting words that were not his own.
The video, which was broadcast on all the major news networks, raised concerns for the man, whose robotic performance indicated that he was reading a prepared statement under duress.
While the man appeared well fed and, to a certain extent, healthy, his facial expressions and body language convinced experts that the act of reciting the prepared text was an extraordinary ordeal for him.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/man-in-hostage-video-forced-to-recite-words-not-his-own?mbid=nl_081417%20Borowitz%20Newsletter%20

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Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply Man in Hostage Video Forced to Recite Words Not His Own (Original post)
Generic Other Aug 2017 OP
riversedge Aug 2017 #1
spanone Aug 2017 #2
underpants Aug 2017 #3
calimary Aug 2017 #8
Gothmog Aug 2017 #4
NastyRiffraff Aug 2017 #5
Bernardo de La Paz Aug 2017 #6
LakeArenal Aug 2017 #7
Honeycombe8 Aug 2017 #9
Solly Mack Aug 2017 #10

Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 03:26 PM

1. ha ha. what a hoot.

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 03:27 PM

2. Love Andy Borowitz

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 03:28 PM

3. From the moment he began speaking, the subjects in his sentences agreed with the verbs, he said.

“From the moment he began speaking, the subjects in his sentences agreed with the verbs,” he said. “That set off alarm bells.”

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Response to underpants (Reply #3)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:33 PM

8. He used the same lines again, at the beginning, including the word "egregious."

When I heard that one over the weekend, my first thought was - "awwww... baby just learned a new word!"

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 04:17 PM

4. I love good satire

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:27 PM

5. This is a good example of

parody mirroring truth.

Dump actually DID sound like a hostage unwillingly reciting words written for him.

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:30 PM

6. I usually detect Borowitz, but this time not until after I finished the excerpt. Brilliant! . . . nt

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:33 PM

7. "The man appeared well fed...

...and to a certain effect, healthy.

But his skin tones appeared quite abnormal.

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:41 PM

9. LOL. nt

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Response to Generic Other (Original post)

Mon Aug 14, 2017, 05:46 PM

10. K&R

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