The DUzy Awards for Friday, July 6th, 2012

[The DUzy Awards]

[center][font size=7]WELCOME to the DUZY AWARDS![/font][/center]

Welcome, sleepyheads, to a very special episode of The DUzy Awards, starring Bill Cosby as Dr. Cliff Huxtable, Harry Dean Stanton as Engineer Brett, Abe Vigoda as Sgt. Phil Fish, and Sigorney Weaver as Lt. Tawny Madison. Special guest Soleil Moon Frye stars as Punky Brewster.


How it works:

You see a funny post and you want to put it in contention. Great! Send a private-message to “The DUzy Awards” and include a link to the original post and the # of the reply you want to nominate, and then copy-and-paste the OP and the nominated post into the message. That’s in case of a self-deletion or an edit or something.

If a member’s name is in [font color=#800080]purple text[/font], then that member has won a DUzy for the week.

If text is in [font color=#FF0000]red italicized text[/font] that’s a comment from me.

All past DU3 DUzies are in this account’s Journal for your enjoyment. If you want the older ones, go find JeffR’s Journal on DU2… if you can!!! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Rose Siding
[font size=+1]Right out loud at TeaParty.org[/font]

Reply by xxxxxxxxx 4 hours ago
We need to establish a D-DAY and hold to it!est. assemble points and storage points for weapons outside of D.C. Traveling from the south all states up to D.C. are CWP states , therefor VA. is the nearest the W.H. and should have the arms stored near the northern VA. border and shuttled to us after we establish our position at the W.H. Obama should be taken into custody first and work down from there. VP, Pelosi, Reid and the rest of the traitors. NO VIOLENCE. Call for arms only when absolutely needed. This is a peaceful, bloodless citizens revolt and may be our last chance to save our nation. They may try to stop us but I don't think they are up for it!! As soon as we begin we should concentrate on rapid action with custody teams assigned to each pol. Not just libs, but cons. as well who have worked for the downfall of OUR COUNTRY. Let's have a planning session soon. whoever is the MFWIC must send out a notice two weeks before the meet. Let's GO !! xxxxx

http://teapartyorg.ning.com/forum/topics/they-took-our-freedoms-away-from-us-who-why-what-can-we-do?xg_source=activity&id=4301673%3ATopic%3A791569&page=11#comments

Right on! NO VIOLENCE as they peacefully take the government into custody.

This is the same nitwit that the Secret Service visited before. After the ruling this week I just got curious about how they were handling it so I peeked in and holy moley, they are all so phreaking nuts. Some will look for help from county sheriffs and some are trading email so spies (ahem) won't know their plans.

Reply by XXXXX 15 minutes ago
I have sent a request to our Governor, asking that he pass a law to protect our privacy on line. We need to get a class action suit against Google and Government to block the harassment and spying. We all need to break out our old CB radios for local comm, and sign up for private email accounts or a message board that does not broadcast our messages. Is there a lawyer on this site that would help? They have been messing with my connection since last night. This is first time I have been able to get here since!

So. Everyone be on the look out for Custody Teams, I guess?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] pinboy3niner
[font size=+1] 80. You, Slayer and I know [/font]
And we're not alone by far.

We continue to see a lot of loose talk from the right about 'revolution' or 'civil war.' Sometimes, we even see that kind of talk from our brothers on the Left.

Apart from Slayer's quite devastating point, those of us who have been there, who have seen combat up close and personal, question why anyone would wish that upon our fellow and sister Americans.

Apart from the other craziness, THAT is what I will never fucking get. Death and maiming in our families would be a good thing? Just because we have a black guy in the Oval Office? As much as we like to slam Pharmaceuticals, I think there are some people who could use a few more...
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] coalition_unwilling [/font]
[font size=+1] 104. LMFAO - Give me Librium or Give Me Meth - n/t [/font]

GD, 2 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002894485


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by 2ndAmForComputers
[font size=+1] Hebron: border police officer kicks a palestinian child, 29/06/2012, raw footage[/font]
Posted without comment. Thread title is that of the YouTube video.

#t=0s

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Scootaloo [/font]
[font size=+1] 1. Delegitimization! Demonization! Depilation! Desi Arnaz! [/font]
...Sorry, figured I'd co-opt the catchwords before the Usual Suspects showed up.

Camera distribution project, huh? Good idea on B'Tselem's part.

Israel/Palestine, 3 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113413138


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by villager
[font size=+1] Warning signs for Fundie families? The Dangers of kids and paleontology![/font]


GD, 7 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002911938


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Honeycombe8
[font size=+1] What ordinary item don't you have by choice that most people do?[/font]
What ordinary item don't you have by choice that most people do?

I don't have or use electric can openers. I have one in the pantry (it was given to me used). But I don't see the need for them. I have a perfectly good and easy to use Kitchen-Aid manual can opener. It fits in a drawer. Someone told me I'm weird for not having an electric can opener.

Is there some ordinary item that YOU don't have, by choice, that other people do?

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] klook [/font]
[font size=+1] 13. A car elevator. [/font]
Most people have those, don't they?


The Lounge, 7 July 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018149175


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Tx4obama
[font size=+1] Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) says he will have Eric Holder arrested[/font]

GOP House Rep To Megyn Kelly: We Could Have Eric Holder Arrested

Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) appeared on Fox News Channel’s America Live with Megyn Kelly on Friday where he discussed the ongoing House Republican efforts to investigate Attorney General Eric Holder’s involvement into the Fast and Furious gun walking scandal. There he revealed that the House GOP could move to have Holder arrested following a House vote on Thursday that found him in contempt of Congress.

-snip-

Kelly says that she is aware of another option – that the Sargent at Arms of the House can be instructed to arrest Holder. “Are you going to do that,” asked Kelly.

“That would be fairly dramatic, but yes,” said Chaffetz. “Three options: going through the U.S. attorney, going into civil court or have the Sargent at Arms take control of the situation — which I think some people are going to say we ought to do — but we’re going to exhaust the other ones first.”

“Really,” replied Kelly.

“I find it hard and dramatic to do, but we want to get to the bottom of this,” said Chaffetz. “We’re serious about this.”

-snip-

Full article and VIDEO here: http://www.mediaite.com/tv/gop-house-rep-to-megyn-kelly-we-could-have-eric-holder-arrested/

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] aint_no_life_nowhere [/font]
[font size=+1] 13. Maybe Mittens can take his State Trooper's uniform out of storage [/font]
Otherwise, I don't anticipate any arrest being made by any legitimate law enforcement agency.

Politics 2012, 29 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125150725


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Control-Z
[font size=+1] Come on, folks. DUers alerting on "fuck"?[/font]
Seriously? This is DU - a political, democratic, not really underground, discussion board.

Is it not abusing the jury system to be alerting on the use of the word "fuck" when not directly calling someone something like a "fucked up ass wipe" or similar?

Alert happened here. I kid you not.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1127&pid=18943

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] MADem
[font size=+1] 21. Don't forget this gem! [/font]
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=11211


One of my personal all-time favorites.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Chan790 [/font]
[font size=+1] 44. It's replaced "So how 'bout them Mets" as my conversational awkward-pause filler. [/font]
Q: So what'd you end up doing last night?
C: I went to Citronelle. It was a good night, this really hot older bartender and I ended up going home together.
Q: My mom works at Citronelle.
C: Brown hair, blue eyes, 45ish, went to Morocco last year on vacation?
...
C: Fuck Ron Paul.

M-D, 1 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1240118126


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Odin2005
[font size=+1] Odin2005[/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Gore1FL [/font]
[font size=+1] 5. I know why they call it that. [/font]
Without the Higgs Boson the Pope wouldn't have mass.

[font color=#FF0000]Oooo, nice!!![/font]

Atheists & Agnostics, 2 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12308969


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Omaha Steve
[font size=+1] "Let's call this right-wing "freedom" catch phrase what it really is...[/font]
Working America

"Let's call this right-wing "freedom" catch phrase what it really is: a grossly political strategy to dupe the public, which holds the word "freedom" as something sacred." -Richard Trumka http://huff.to/M3Uftu



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] EC [/font]
[font size=+1] 1. The forth freedom is missing an e.. n/t [/font]

[font color=#FF0000]The rest of the subthread is pretty funny… a DUzy for all participants![/font]

GD, 3 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002899454


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by pokerfan
[font size=+1] Remember to set your clocks forward tonight[/font]

The transition from June to July will be delayed by circumstances beyond everyone's control. Time will stand still for one second on Saturday evening (June 30) because a "leap second" will be added to let a lagging Earth catch up to super-accurate clocks.


....

As a result of this difference, atomic clocks, which are used to set all other clocks, can get out of sync with the Earth and periodically have to be adjusted. A leap second has to be added from time to time to make up the difference.

The next time will be Saturday, when the master clock at the United States Naval Observatory will be adjusted at 7:59:60 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, or 23:59:60 Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). This will put Mother Earth about four-tenths of a second ahead of the clock, giving her a bit of a head start as we transition into the new month of July.

http://www.space.com/16356-leap-second-added-clocks-saturday.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] CJCRANE
[font size=+1] 2. Both of you are going to be embarrassed tomorrow if you do that... [/font]
because you need to set your clock back one second.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] pokerfan
[font size=+1] 4. I had a 50-50 chance [/font]
I always screw that up. It's like some form of temporal dyslexia.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] eppur_se_muova [/font]
[font size=+1] 5. I believe the term would be "dystempor". I hear they have shots for that. nt [/font]

Science, 30 Jun 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12287859


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Tx4obama
[font size=+1] Terry Branstad, Iowa Governor, Leaves Hospital After Choking On Carrot[/font]
Source: AP via HuffPo

DES MOINES, Iowa -- Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad was briefly hospitalized Wednesday in Los Angeles after choking on food during a ceremony for the re-dedication of the USS Iowa battleship, his spokesman said.

Branstad choked on a carrot during the event and vomited, spokesman Tim Albrecht said. He said the governor was taken to a nearby hospital "out of an overabundance of caution," went through a series of tests and was released after his health turned out to be fine.

"We're glad he's okay. He's in great spirits," Albrecht said. "He's probably a little more embarrassed than anything."

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/04/terry-branstad-iowa-governor-hospital_n_1649870.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Orrex [/font]
[font size=+1] 14. An important lesson [/font]
This story, no matter who wrote it,
Left out the main point to be noted.
A carrot is tasty,
But please don't be hasty!
Chew carefully; never deep throat it.

LBN, 4 July 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014159223


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by n2doc
[font size=+1] First Photo of Shadow of Single Atom[/font]
ScienceDaily (July 3, 2012) — In an international scientific breakthrough, a Griffith University research team has been able to photograph the shadow of a single atom for the first time.



"We have reached the extreme limit of microscopy; you can not see anything smaller than an atom using visible light," Professor Dave Kielpinski of Griffith University's Centre for Quantum Dynamics in Brisbane, Australia.

"We wanted to investigate how few atoms are required to cast a shadow and we proved it takes just one," Professor Kielpinski said.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/07/120703172543.htm

Published this week in Nature Communications, "Absorption imaging of a single atom "is the result of work over the last 5 years by the Kielpinski/Streed research team.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Arctic Dave [/font]
[font size=+1] 1. Wait! Take another, his eyes were closed. [/font]
Just kidding. Very cool.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Lochloosa [/font]
[font size=+1] 3. Say Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and SMILE! [/font]

Science, 5 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12288030


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Laura PourMeADrink
[font size=+1] So, What is pissing you off tonight?[/font]
Mine, since it is 4th of July...

That as long as I live, I will be from a country where the last president
invented a fake war where hundreds of thousands of people died...AND..
he and his VP are resting comfortably somewhere, sipping on something.

We are not on top in so many things, too many to mention. These we
can change. But, we can never change that we started a fake war.

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] taterguy [/font]
[font size=+1] 67. Juror #4 [/font]
As usual

GD, 4 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002902800


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a locked original post by the tombstoned echofreak
[font size=+1] How does this make you feel[/font]
I thought these people were heroes?



[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] 2on2u [/font]
[font size=+1]1. It makes me feel like I need reading glasses. n/t [/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Liberal Veteran [/font]
[font size=+1] 3. It makes me feel....like I need glasses. [/font]

[font color=#FF0000]Both posted at 5:48pm[/font]

GD, 5 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002906151


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by UnrepentantLiberal
[font size=+1] BACKFIRED: Louisiana GOP Angry That Muslims Can Use School Vouchers[/font]

GOP legislators in Louisiana have realized to their horror that their bill to provide vouchers for private religious schools can actually be used by Muslims.



Rep. Valarie Hodges, a Republican who represents East Baton Rouge and Livingston, now says she wishes she hadn’t voted for the Jindal voucher bill. “I actually support funding for teaching the fundamentals of America’s Founding Fathers’ religion, which is Christianity, in public schools or private schools,” Hodges told the Livingston Parish News. "I liked the idea of giving parents the option of sending their children to a public school or a Christian school,” Hodges added. The newspaper reported that she “mistakenly assumed that ‘religious’ meant ‘Christian.’” “Unfortunately it will not be limited to the Founders’ religion,” Hodges told the News. “We need to insure that it does not open the door to fund radical Islam schools. There are a thousand Muslim schools that have sprung up recently. I do not support using public funds for teaching Islam anywhere here in Louisiana.”

Americans United for the Separation of Church and State writes:

Some legislators aren’t comfortable funding Muslim schools. What’s to be done? How about not establishing these programs in the first place? Let Muslims fund Muslim schools. Let Catholics fund Catholics ones. Let fundamentalist Protestants pay for the conservative Christian academies and so on.

The law has already gone into effect and provides for no state oversight regarding curriculum or educational standards.

More: http://www.joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/07/backfired-louisiana-gop-angry-that.html

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Rambis [/font]
[font size=+1] 6. "Educatin the Muslins" [/font]
Only leads to more cloth terrorists!

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pinboy3niner [/font]
[font size=+1] 9. That sign is materially false [/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Roy Rolling [/font]
[font size=+1] 44. good one [/font]
apparently, the argument on the sign is full of loopholes
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pinboy3niner [/font]
[font size=+1] 53. That's where their argument unravels, alright [/font]
Clearly, it was made out of whole cloth to begin with.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Fawke Em [/font]
[font size=+1] 75. It certainly calls into question the issues looming over our nation. eom [/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Tommy_Carcetti [/font]
[font size=+1] 86. I disagree. Obama's policies closely mirror those espoused by Linen. nt [/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Aerows [/font]
[font size=+1] 48. It undermines [/font]
the very fabric of our nation.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Manifestor_of_Light [/font]
[font size=+1] 52. Is he three sheets to the wind, so to speak???? [/font]

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] tclambert [/font]
[font size=+1] 100. I don't cotton to that belief. [/font]

GD, 5 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002904834


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[font size=+1] Anderson Cooper: "The Fact Is, I'm Gay."[/font]


......................

I've always believed that who a reporter votes for, what religion they are, who they love, should not be something they have to discuss publicly. As long as a journalist shows fairness and honesty in his or her work, their private life shouldn't matter. I’ve stuck to those principles for my entire professional career, even when I’ve been directly asked “the gay question,” which happens occasionally. I did not address my sexual orientation in the memoir I wrote several years ago because it was a book focused on war, disasters, loss and survival. I didn't set out to write about other aspects of my life.

Recently, however, I’ve begun to consider whether the unintended outcomes of maintaining my privacy outweigh personal and professional principle. It’s become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something - something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true.

I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. There continue to be far too many incidences of bullying of young people, as well as discrimination and violence against people of all ages, based on their sexual orientation, and I believe there is value in making clear where I stand.

The fact is, I'm gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.

more:
http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/07/anderson-cooper-the-fact-is-im-gay.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+andrewsullivan%2FrApM+%28The+Daily+Dish%29

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Ian David [/font]
[font size=+1] 4. Good for Anderson, but that doesn't get him out of doing New Years Eve with Kathy Griffin. n/t [/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] markpkessinger [/font]
[font size=+1] 68. Why, this is the most shocking thing since Clay Aiken came out! n/t [/font]

GD, 2 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002891459


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by WI_DEM
[font size=+1] Mittens dispatching Jindal & Pawlenty to refute Obama on his bus tour[/font]
(the Jindal-Pawlenty tour aka the bore tour):

For the Ohio leg of the trip, Romney has dispatched Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty to visit the regions on Obama's itinerary ahead of the president's arrival.

They will "emphasize the gap between what President Obama said he would accomplish and his lack of results on jobs, health care and the debt," a Romney spokesman told the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Obama has released new advertising questioning Romney's commitment to keeping jobs in America while pointing to his decision to rescue U.S. automakers, a major employer in Ohio.

Obama will deliver his first address Thursday in Maumee, Ohio, before traveling to Sandusky and Parma. The bus tour starts a new phase of Obama's re-election campaign as he takes a more retail-oriented approach before the September convention in Charlotte, N.C. It follows a six-state bus trip by Romney through the Midwest last month that included stops in Ohio and Pennsylvania.



Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/07/05/obama-sets-out-on-campaign-bus-tour-with-jobs-report-looming/#ixzz1zl3GnW4E

[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] hobbit709 [/font]
[font size=+1] 5. This will work out well. [/font]

Mr. "We don't need to spend money on NOAA" and Mr. "I vetoed a tax bill that would have maintained the bridge that went down."

GD, 5 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002904049


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by kpete
[font size=+1] Who's a good boy, you are, yes you are, yes you are.[/font]


[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Kennah [/font]
[font size=+1] 18. The dog is just testing trickle down theory [/font]

GD, 2 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002893450


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] cleanhippie [/font]
[font size=+1] Particle Physics Gives Me A Hadron [/font]


Science, 6 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12288081


[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] krispos42 [/font]
[font size=+1] Romney's horse heads for the Olympics [/font]


GD, 5 Jul 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002903875


Thanks to: BlueCollar, 2ndAmForComputers, eppur_se_muova, Tx4obama, scarletwoman, Warpy, klook, eridani, LadyHawkAZ, dixiegrrrrl, maddezmom, rocktivity, and Mira!!!


This very special super-sized DUzy episode was brought to you by: The International Association of Left-Handed & Farsighted Obstetricians & Gynecologists, The Foundation for the Restoration of the Slide Rule, International Astronomers for the Little Bang Theory Association, the letter D, and the number ?.


-Krispos42

[krispos42]

1. Whew, a long one this week!

n/t

[liberal N proud]

2. Love these.

[scarletwoman]

3. Great batch this week!

The "conversational awkward-pause filler" still cracks me up as much as when I first read it!

And I must say, that carrot limerick is truly a gem!

Congrats to all the winners!

[Baitball Blogger]

4. The bar continues to get raised.

[hootinholler]

10. That explains why I haven't got one in a while

[progressoid]

5. heh heh heh.

Some good ones again!

[dixiegrrrrl]

6. Romney's horse....LOL

I had missed that one.
thanks to the Duzy makers and nominators for a great week!!!!

[tblue37]

8. Yeah--that one made me laugh so loud it sounded like barking! nt

[UnrepentantLiberal]

7. Poor Romney's horse.

[HappyMe]

9. As usual, we have some clever, witty

people here.

[scarletwoman]

11. Kick for the evening crowd...

[RainDog]

12. LOLOLOL!!!!

Thanks, DUers, for making me laugh.

[eridani]

13. Kick for monday AM n/t

[scarletwoman]

19. Kick for Monday evening... (nt)

[lovemydog]

14. another duzy awards

another kick

[pinboy3niner]

15. Orrex's carrot deserves the top prize this week, hands down

That was beautiful!

[lovemydog]

16. or throat down

either way

[pinboy3niner]

17. Ooh, that's deep

[pinboy3niner]

18. Not to give short shrift to the horse...

...because a horse is a horse, of course, of course...