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Erose999

(5,624 posts)
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 04:56 PM Jul 2012

Lemon. Wet. Good. - or - How to speak like Mitt Romney in 3 words or less


Mitt Romney has a problem. He doesn't really like descending to the level of the common man, speaking to them, breathing the same air as them, etc etc.

But he has to interact with them and somehow not come off as condescending or resentful. His campaign team of analytic linguists has finally devised a solution. Mitten's interactions with the commoners can be minimized by speaking in only nouns and verbs. Mittens thusly can devote more of his mental faculties towards car elevators, dog abuse, tax dodgery, outsourcing, and whatever else the hell he thinks about. Unnecessary filler like articles, prepositions, conjunctions, adjectives, etc. need not waste his valuable time.

Let's try a few examples:

Lemon. Wet. Good

Corporations. Are. People

Dog. On. Roof

Trees. Right. Height

Mormon. Draft. Exemption

Hair. Cut. Hi-jinks


11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Lemon. Wet. Good. - or - How to speak like Mitt Romney in 3 words or less (Original Post) Erose999 Jul 2012 OP
its cause he's a robot and his voice control hasnt been updated since 1990 NightWatcher Jul 2012 #1
Donuts?. Fancy. That. and ...Need. Car. Elevators. NRaleighLiberal Jul 2012 #2
Smell. This. Butter. aint_no_life_nowhere Jul 2012 #3
Fee. Not. Tax. ... surrealAmerican Jul 2012 #4
Here goes............. wandy Jul 2012 #5
Two. Cadillacs. Actually. nt Raine Jul 2012 #6
Romney is like Frito from Idiocracy Ghost of Huey Long Jul 2012 #7
Either he just came from psychoanalysis, or he is an alien, my other running theory Ghost of Huey Long Jul 2012 #8
Mitt. Wants. Presidency soccer1 Jul 2012 #9
I made it my new sig pic SoCalDem Jul 2012 #10
Mitt. Is. Alien... 3catwoman3 Jul 2012 #11

wandy

(3,539 posts)
5. Here goes.............
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 06:39 PM
Jul 2012

Breakup. Local. Union
Rob. Pension. Fund.
Fire. American. Employees.
Outsource. All. Jobs.
Profit. From. Destroying
Win. The. Presidency.
Breakup. All. Unions.
Rob. Pension. Fund.
Good. Ryan. Plan.
Rob. From. Foodstamps.
Rob. Social. Security
Robe. From. Medicare.
Profit. From. Destroying
Shari. With. 1%
Thats. The. Plan


I. could. continue.



 

Ghost of Huey Long

(322 posts)
7. Romney is like Frito from Idiocracy
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 08:35 PM
Jul 2012

What is your plan for the economy?

"I. like. money"

But he was doing more free association....

What do you think of poor people?

"dirt. shoe. yuck"

What do you think of immigrants?

"work. hard. suckers"

What do you think of Americans?

"take. money. peons"

 

Ghost of Huey Long

(322 posts)
8. Either he just came from psychoanalysis, or he is an alien, my other running theory
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 08:38 PM
Jul 2012

He is getting a wireless feed from his superiors to help with the human experience, but sometimes he forgets to put the information into a sentence properly.
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