Ben Carson Warns That Bible Makes No Mention of Housing or Urban Development told by Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In his first public statement since Donald Trump chose him to be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson said on Monday that the Bible “makes absolutely no mention of housing or urban development.”

Carson said that, when Trump initially asked him to accept the post, “the first thing I did was check the Bible to see if there was anything about housing or urban development in there, and much to my dismay there was not.”

“As you can well imagine, I did not want to be in charge of something that the Bible does not condone,” he said. “But then I realized that perhaps the Lord wants me to take this job so that I can banish housing and urban development from the earth.”

Carson offered no details about how he would eliminate housing, but said that he was seeking advice from Trump’s pick for Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos. “She’s basically trying to do the same thing with education,” he said.

The retired neurosurgeon said that he was looking forward to taking the reins at HUD but that he had “a lot of loose ends to tie up” before then. “Right now, I need to find my shoes,” he said.

www.borowitzreport.com

[malaise]

1. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[Angry Dragon]

2. poor lost Ben

[Mountain Mule]

3. Right

I bet if he needed heart by-pass surgery, he'd get it even though it's not mentioned in the Bible. Heck, the United States ain't mentioned in the Bible either. Carson better go find a place to live in Israel or Palestine, else face the wrath of Gawd. If you ask me, maybe he needs to find out where his Alzheimer's specialist has his office.

[TheBlackAdder]

4. Bible mentions socialism, not capitalism. Capitalism 14th Cent., Industrial Capitalism 18th Cent.

[TheBlackAdder]

5. Wait! The bible doesn't mention Jesus walking with Native Americans or some guy named Ben Carson

.





I though Ben Carson to be more of a black velvet painting kind of man.


.

[Lotusflower70]

6. The Bible

Talks about helping the poor and needy so that could be an argument for housing and urban development. Of course it doesn't mention abortion or homosexuality and the Republicans seem to be fixated on both. Regardless Ben Carson is totally clueless and not the man for the job. HUD should not to based on the Bible anyway.

[jmowreader]

9. Actually, it DOES mention abortion...however, the fundies want you to not know that

Numbers 5.11-29 gives you a fairly detailed set of instructions for performing one.

[Lotusflower70]

10. Thanks

Sorry I wasn't clear. I meant that it doesn't state that abortion is against the will of God.

[jmowreader]

11. How could it be?

Wiping entire towns off the map - INCLUDING all the pregnant women who live there - is a popular pastime in the Bible.

[Lotusflower70]

14. I understand that

The Republicans use the Bible to argue that abortion is wrong.

[Historic NY]

7. Carson and Jesus hang together......

http://people.com/celebrity/ben-carsons-house-photos-show-an-homage-to-himself-and-jesus/

[Motley13]

8. Ben may have been a great surgeon, but

the Dr. that operated on Ben's brain should be sued for malpractice.

[BigDemVoter]

12. Well, I would think that Mr. Carson DOES travel by airplane, but

I am convinced that airplanes aren't mentioned in his Bible, although Jesus taking flight would be an interesting spectacle to watch, but wait--that DID happen!

[BigDemVoter]

13. It's obvious he's a charlatan.

Whenever I see that pious look WITH the closed eyes, I know we are FUCKED.

[sarcasmo]

15. Jesus said, F the poor. The bible according to Ben Carson.

[Wounded Bear]

16. It's getting to where I can actually laugh at shit like this...

although it is pathetically close to the truth of the situation.

Dr Ben should take heart, though. If Trump gets pissed at some ISIS tweet and hits the button, ain't nobody gonna need any housing.

[UTUSN]

17. R# & K for the op content, but could always do without the photos.

Frankly, I don't want to see pics of DRUMPF or almost any other Repukes. We know what they look like. And we don't like it.