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Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:42 PM

Today is a sad day for my wife and I

Today is the 49th day since my mother in law passed.

This is traditionally the day when Buddhists gather and pray to say farewell.

My wife and I would appreciate your good wishes today.

The Buddhist prayer is "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" if you would like to say goodbye in the faith mom practiced, chant that phrase 3 times.

Of course you don't have to do that if your faith precludes it.

Thank you

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Reply Today is a sad day for my wife and I (Original post)
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 OP
CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2016 #1
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #40
yardwork Nov 2016 #2
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #39
redwitch Nov 2016 #3
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #38
williesgirl Nov 2016 #4
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #37
Lindalouuu Nov 2016 #5
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #36
LineReply .
JI7 Nov 2016 #6
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #35
Warpy Nov 2016 #7
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #34
Texin Nov 2016 #8
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #33
sheshe2 Nov 2016 #9
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #23
sheshe2 Nov 2016 #29
blm Nov 2016 #10
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #32
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #12
LibraLiz1973 Nov 2016 #13
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #30
PlanetBev Nov 2016 #14
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #21
LineReply .
Guy Whitey Corngood Nov 2016 #15
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #28
Jbowman Nov 2016 #17
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #26
nolabear Nov 2016 #18
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #24
question everything Nov 2016 #19
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #22
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #41
ChazInAz Nov 2016 #42
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #45
Raine Nov 2016 #46
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #50
OhioBlue Nov 2016 #47
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #51
Tess49 Nov 2016 #54
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #58
lovemydog Nov 2016 #55
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #59
mfcorey1 Nov 2016 #56
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #60
Lifelong Protester Nov 2016 #57
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #61
Lochloosa Nov 2016 #62
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #63
Ilsa Nov 2016 #64
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #65
Granny M Nov 2016 #68
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #71
cannabis_flower Nov 2016 #69
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #72
LuvNewcastle Nov 2016 #70
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #73
niyad Nov 2016 #74
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #75
vlyons Nov 2016 #77
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #79
loveandlight Nov 2016 #80
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #81
Big_K Nov 2016 #82
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #86
Highway61 Nov 2016 #83
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #87
blueotter Nov 2016 #89
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #91
hamsterjill Nov 2016 #93
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #95
Lebam in LA Nov 2016 #96
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #97
rustysgurl Nov 2016 #98
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #100
badhair77 Nov 2016 #102
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #103
Boomerproud Nov 2016 #104
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #105
treestar Nov 2016 #106
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #107
qwlauren35 Nov 2016 #108
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #110
qwlauren35 Nov 2016 #112
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #105
IrishEyes Nov 2016 #109
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #111
Skittles Nov 2016 #113
The Polack MSgt Nov 2016 #114
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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:46 PM

1. My dear Polack MSgt........

My condolences to you and your wife on the passing of your mother in law...

I did chant the phrase 3 times and I felt the weight of your loss as I said goodbye.

I'm not sure I said the words correctly, but I did try.

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #1)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:10 AM

40. Thanks

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:47 PM

2. What a beautiful way to say goodbye.

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Response to yardwork (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:09 AM

39. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:48 PM

3. I am sorry for your loss.

And I send loving thoughts to you and your wife.

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Response to redwitch (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:09 AM

38. Thank you

Not sure if this makes a difference - but Mom was a devout Buddhist and I wanted to have as many people say goodbye as possible

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:48 PM

4. I said the prayer and hope it brings you some comfort.

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Response to williesgirl (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:07 AM

37. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:48 PM

5. My sincere condolences.

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Response to Lindalouuu (Reply #5)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:06 AM

36. Thanks

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:48 PM

6. .

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Response to JI7 (Reply #6)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:06 AM

35. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:50 PM

7. Sort of a low Theravada Buddhist here, not Japanese

but may she find a good rebirth.

My Irish Catholic mother was a firm believer in the Irish variety of reincarnation. She always said she wanted to come back as a river otter because it looked like they were getting a lot of fun out of life and had few predators. Six months after she died, there was a blip on the news about river otters being spotted in NM for the first time since the 1950s. I did get a grin out of that.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #7)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:06 AM

34. Thanks Warpy

I appreciate your good thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:52 PM

8. Chanted the payer 3 times as requested

Peace to you all

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Response to Texin (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:05 AM

33. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:53 PM

9. My heart to you and yours, MSgt.

May your MIL sleep peacefully.

I said the prayer.

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Response to sheshe2 (Reply #9)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:53 PM

23. Thank you

I appreciate your good thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Reply #23)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:01 AM

29. ...

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 10:53 PM

10. ((TPM))

.

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Response to blm (Reply #10)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:04 AM

32. Thanks blm

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:07 PM

12. Just some background

My mother in law was a tough woman who remembered her family being exiled from Sendai prefecture to Manchuria in the 30's.

She survived WW2.

As the oldest sibling, she supported her younger sisters and brothers in the 40s and 50s.

She raised two beautiful daughters and survived her husband's passing while running a successful business.

Thank you for bringing my wife into the world. Thank you for being a strong lovely human for all of your 85years, I am so sorry that i never had a chance to see you one last time.

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:12 PM

13. Chanted.

Peace and blessings

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Response to LibraLiz1973 (Reply #13)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:02 AM

30. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:17 PM

14. Been chanting for forty seven years

What's your late mother-in-laws name? I'll chant for her tonight.


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Response to PlanetBev (Reply #14)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:47 PM

21. Her name was

Ninomiya Eiko

Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:19 PM

15. .






.
This is the DU member formerly known as Guy Whitey Corngood.

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Response to Guy Whitey Corngood (Reply #15)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:58 PM

28. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:27 PM

17. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Peace and love to you and yours... Nam Myoho Renge Kyo", Nam Myoho Renge Kyo", Nam Myoho Renge Kyo"

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Response to Jbowman (Reply #17)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:56 PM

26. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:33 PM

18. Nam myoho renge kyo. May she be free.

I've never called myself a Buddhist but I think there's more there for me than anywhere else.

May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be well.
May all beings be free of suffering.

It makes sense to me.

Much love to you all.

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Response to nolabear (Reply #18)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:55 PM

24. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:40 PM

19. My deepest condolences. Does observing Diwali help?

Forgive my ignorance if this is inappropriate.

Wishing you cherished memories.

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Response to question everything (Reply #19)

Sun Nov 6, 2016, 11:51 PM

22. I am in no way

Trying to push a religion on others...

Your good thoughts and intentions - in whatever form you wish to express them are more than enough

Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:25 AM

41. My wife wants to extend her heartfelt gratitude

I showed her this thread and she was so thankful

Mina Arigatai she says - roughly "I wish to thank them all"

"Today is the day we are supposed to move on and I am tryng... but this is so heart warming for me. Strangers are supporting me... it's amazing... Please thank them for me"

Thanks everyone - you made my wife smile on a very sad day

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:30 AM

42. Consider it done.

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Response to ChazInAz (Reply #42)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:43 AM

45. Thank you.

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:44 AM

46. I'm so sorry for your loss, I will certainly offer this prayer up... nt

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Response to Raine (Reply #46)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:48 AM

50. Thank you.

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:45 AM

47. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

(hugs)

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Response to OhioBlue (Reply #47)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 12:48 AM

51. Thank you so much

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 01:05 AM

54. I chanted the phrase and send all of you my best thoughts and wishes.

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Response to Tess49 (Reply #54)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:03 AM

58. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 01:19 AM

55. I chanted it three times.

All the best.

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Response to lovemydog (Reply #55)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:04 AM

59. Thank you Lovemydog

I appreciate it.

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 01:26 AM

56. Chanted!

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Response to mfcorey1 (Reply #56)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:04 AM

60. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 01:36 AM

57. I chanted it three times, the best I could.

I am so sorry for your loss. {{{ hugs}}}

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Response to Lifelong Protester (Reply #57)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:05 AM

61. Thank you so much

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 10:16 AM

62. May she find peace as she moved from one life to the next. Chanted.

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Response to Lochloosa (Reply #62)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 10:25 AM

63. Thank you Lochlosa

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:00 AM

64. No one quite knows you like your mom.

Chanted. Blessings and peace to her and your family.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #64)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:02 AM

65. Thank you Ilsa

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:17 AM

68. My sincere condolences.

Wishing you and your wife peace and comfort at this sad time.

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Response to Granny M (Reply #68)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:27 AM

71. Thank you for you kindness

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:18 AM

69. What does it mean?

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Response to cannabis_flower (Reply #69)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:33 AM

72. Roughly translated

It means Devotion to the law of the lotus sutra

Nam - Respect devotion or veneration

Myoho - the mystic law

Renge - The lotus bloom

Kyo- Sutra, teaching

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:26 AM

70. I said it.

I hope your mother's soul will be free for what comes next and you and your wife will be comforted.

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Response to LuvNewcastle (Reply #70)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 11:34 AM

73. Thank you

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 02:17 PM

74. chanted as requested. peace and blessings to all who love her.

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Response to niyad (Reply #74)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 02:34 PM

75. Thank you Niyad

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 02:42 PM

77. May your Mom easily pass through the Bardo and instantly

arrive in Amitabha's Pure Land.

Om Amita wah Hri Om Amita wah Hri Om Amita wah Hri

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Response to vlyons (Reply #77)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 02:44 PM

79. Thank You Vlyons

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 02:47 PM

80. lots of love and light to your family

And three chants for your mother in law.

Namaste.

Linda

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Response to loveandlight (Reply #80)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 03:06 PM

81. Thanks you for your kindness

Welcome to DU

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 04:38 PM

82. I've said goodbye, and peace be to you and your wife

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Response to Big_K (Reply #82)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 05:50 PM

86. Thank you for your kind thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 04:40 PM

83. Said the prayer

Peace to you and yours...

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Response to Highway61 (Reply #83)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 05:51 PM

87. Thank you so much highway61

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 05:52 PM

89. My condolences. Peace to you and your family.

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Response to blueotter (Reply #89)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 05:54 PM

91. Thank you blueotter

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 06:01 PM

93. While I'm not a practicing Buddhist...

A wise woman taught me that prayer many years ago, and I use it often for calm and clarity.

I've said it three times in honor of your mother-in-law.

She must've been a very special woman. I wish you and your wife peace and comfort.

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Response to hamsterjill (Reply #93)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 06:08 PM

95. Thank you for your kindness

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 06:31 PM

96. May you find peace in your memories

with this goodbye beautiful prayer

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Response to Lebam in LA (Reply #96)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 06:33 PM

97. Thank you

I appreciate your kind thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 06:56 PM

98. My religion ...

Does not preclude my joining in your sorrow at your loss. Prayer was chanted (although I am sure the pronunciation was off). May you know peace in the times ahead and recall memories with joy.

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Response to rustysgurl (Reply #98)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 07:07 PM

100. Thank you for your kind thoughts

We're glad to hear that mom is being thought of and farewells are being said.

My wife and I aren't trying to proselytize - that's why any response is fine.

If anyone has qualms about the chanting, well that's fine. Your kind thoughts are much more important than forms and rituals.

Peace

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 07:11 PM

102. I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's a privilege to offer this prayer for your mother-in-law. I wish you and your family peace.

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Response to badhair77 (Reply #102)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 07:13 PM

103. Thank you.

We appreciate your kind thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 07:52 PM

104. I was very happy to honor your request. My mother passed away on May 1st.

I think she, and your mother-in-law, are smiling.

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Response to Boomerproud (Reply #104)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:15 PM

105. Thank you Boomerproud

I have to ask.

Aerial refueler or submariner?

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:23 PM

106. My condolences

What a lovely prayer.

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Response to treestar (Reply #106)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:37 PM

107. Thank you

I appreciate your kind words

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:37 PM

108. I am a former Nichiren Buddhist.

I did it anyway, out of respect.

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Response to qwlauren35 (Reply #108)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:39 PM

110. Thank you

I hope that you aren't uncomfortable.

Not trying to influence anyone.

I appreciate your kind thoughts

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Reply #110)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 09:00 PM

112. It's funny.

When people talk about chanting for me, I am uncomfortable. But for someone else, if they needed it and it was a close friend, I'd be down on my knees beside them.

For most of my chanting life, I did not chant for myself or my own problems. I chanted for my family as a whole, for individual members, sometimes for the happiness of people I was struggling with. In fact, I remember having a list of about 35 people I was chanting for. I would chant and imagine them being happy. I remember chanting for someone's marriage. I remember chanting for my sisters and I to have harmony. I remember chanting for an end to a war we had about 35 years ago. Don't remember which one.

I did not quit because I thought it was a hoax, as some may, but because it was too difficult, with being ADHD/bipolar, to feel that I was doing it right. It never gave me peace, I was never able to empty my mind.

After about 27 years, I gave myself permission to stop trying. I went taiten and the world did not end, I did not fall apart, I was not miserable, or at least not more miserable than I already was, sometimes.

A friend started chanting a few years ago and asked why I quit. I think I told her that it wasn't right for me. May have said some other things. But that's the gist of it. She still chants and I am happy for her.

More than you needed to hear.

If you got this far, thanks for listening. I definitely did not feel uncomfortable chanting for your mother-in-law. It was for her and for you and your wife. Love is a powerful thing, and you loved her. That is worth honoring with Sansho.

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Response to qwlauren35 (Reply #112)

Thu Nov 17, 2016, 02:55 PM

105. Sorry for the late reply

Thank you for your thoughts. The practice isn't for everyone... My wife is a strong Nicheren Buddhist, but I just do sansho now and again.

I am glad that you were comfortable with saying goodbye to mom.

Peace

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:39 PM

109. My condolences to you and your wife.

I said the prayer three times. It sounds like she was a great lady.

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Response to IrishEyes (Reply #109)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 08:42 PM

111. Thank you so much

She was a no nonsense tolerated - ever - tough woman...

Who loved almost everyone she ever met

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Response to The Polack MSgt (Original post)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 09:14 PM

113. ...

"Nam Myoho Renge Ky"
"Nam Myoho Renge Ky"
"Nam Myoho Renge Ky"

sending my good wishes your way

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Response to Skittles (Reply #113)

Mon Nov 7, 2016, 09:23 PM

114. Thank you so much Skittles

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