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Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:54 PM

Comey Praises Brave F.B.I. Agents Who Had to Touch Anthony Weiner’s Computer —Borowitz



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—James Comey, the embattled director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, presided over a special ceremony on Friday evening to commend the brave F.B.I. agents who had to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer.

In awarding the commendations to the agents, whom Comey called “the bravest men and women this country has to offer,” the F.B.I. director criticized the political uproar that he said had overshadowed “their selfless acts of heroism.”

“These agents have performed far and beyond the call of duty,” a visibly angry Comey said. “I know we’re eleven days away from an election and tensions are running high, but we shouldn’t let that subtract in any way from what these brave agents did with their own hands.”

“Who among us could look at ourselves in the mirror and say, ‘I have what it takes to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer’?” Comey asked. “I know I sure as hell couldn’t.”

Harland Dorrinson, one of the agents who received the official commendation, acknowledged that touching Weiner’s computer was “the toughest mission I’ve been on” since signing up with the F.B.I. “I spent two weeks undercover in El Chapo’s drug cartel, and this was much scarier,” he said.

www.borowitzreport.com

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Reply Comey Praises Brave F.B.I. Agents Who Had to Touch Anthony Weiner’s Computer —Borowitz (Original post)
Mira Oct 2016 OP
BootinUp Oct 2016 #1
LisaL Oct 2016 #2
Sophiegirl Oct 2016 #3
jonno99 Oct 2016 #4

Response to Mira (Original post)

Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:57 PM

1. LOL

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:58 PM

2. Hope they wore gloves.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:00 PM

3. I sooooo needed a laugh!

At the least, they needed a basket full of hand sanitizers.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:16 PM

4. That is funny! nt

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