Destruction of Walk Of Fame star leaves Donald Trump down to his last six Horcruxes

[progressoid]

Stabbing a copy of The Art Of The Deal with a Basilisk’s tooth is the next step to eliminating Donald Trump, according to experts this morning.

Donald Trump howled in agony and demanded a flask of serpent’s milk to help him recover some strength after the destruction of his first Horcrux on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame yesterday.

Trump, whose unusually-styled hair is believed to hide a face on the back of his head, is understood to have concealed fragments of his soul in multiple receptacles in an attempt to protect himself from defeat in the forthcoming election.

Fragments are believed to be hidden in places as diverse as the fabric of Trump Tower, a pussy he grabbed without warning in 2003, and Mike Pence’s unnaturally shining white head of hair.



...http://newsthump.com/2016/10/27/destruction-of-walk-of-fame-star-leaves-donald-trump-down-to-his-last-six-horcruxes/

[niyad]

1. that was funny!!

[FSogol]

2. Is he attempting to enter the White House and say his name backwards?

[Solly Mack]

3. Expelliarmus!

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. Brilliant!!!!!!!!

[lindysalsagal]

5. I think I found another one: Kinda small....

[Borchkins]

7. Too flipping funny!

[calimary]

8. Oh, for a vial of Veritas serum...

EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!

[gratuitous]

9. The remaining horcruxes

A first edition copy of "The Art of the Deal."

One of the tiaras from the Miss America pageant.

Donald's mother's wedding ring.

Loving cup trophy from Donald's office inscribed "World's Greatest Dad" that he bought for himself.

The tie that Trump wears to all the debates.

Okay Potterheads, you're going to have to help me out here. What were the rest of them?

[lindysalsagal]

15. You forgot his life-sized self-portrait, paid for my his foundation.

He knew no one would ever break into his house to steal it.

[mwooldri]

10. If Donald needed to defend his horcrux....

... he needed a bigger wall.

[Hekate]

12. Thank you, thank you. Horcruxes to The Donald's rescue.....

[Lucinda]

17. KNR