OH GOLLY, please help me understand and NOT devolve into hating high school classmate(s,)EDITED

[elleng]

Last edited Sat May 28, 2016, 05:02 PM - Edit history (1)

with whom I often disagree but never converse re: politics!

Posted this: 'AMERICA IS EVIL BECAUSE THEY BOMBED JAPAN?????
POtuS needs to get his head out of his butt. and what about the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor, brutalizing POW's in their camps, killing American soldiers in many other parts of the South Pacific!!

Obama is the MOST ANTI-AMERICAN PRESIDENT WE HAVE EVER HAD! that is probably because he is NOT an American!!'

I responded: 'He has said no such thing.'

This the latest: 'and Paul Ryan needs to be relieved of his duties since he has obviously joined the Democrats ....another POS'

What did HE do lately???



EDIT: Another friend responded to the first (unpleasant) post fortunately, more expansive than I was: 'Obama did not apologize. He said we need to live in a nuclear free world but did not apologize. He is an American, born in Hawaii. Every time someone says something we do not agree with does not mean the person is unAmerican, but rather sees things differently.'
I'm pleased to see this.

[safeinOhio]

1. Ireland, Canada and Iceland.....

I'm looking into civilized nations.

[elleng]

5. I'd do the same but

want to/need to be near my grandchildren, 1 baby and 2 toddlers now. (Incidentally they have Irish ancestry. But have you seen the movie Philomena? http://www.irishcentral.com/opinion/others/philomenas-story-is-just-one-example-of-the-forced-adoption-of-irish-children-234732091-238262871.html

[safeinOhio]

12. Never had any children.

I've spent time in those places, less Iceland and would have no problem living there or most Western European countries. I see there is a new 'dating cite' to connect those wanting to move to Canada to escape Pumpkin Head Trump.

[beachbum bob]

2. put yourself inside of a conservative mind...that does sound dangerous

1. you never apologize...that equals being WEAK
2. you never compromise....that equals being WEAK
3. you always bully....that equals being STRONG
4. you never admit wrong....that equals being WEAK
5. say anything you want no matter how true or false because of the above #1, #2, #3 and #4

[Ex Lurker]

3. They're just people you thrown together with by accident when you were teenagers

There's no reason you should have anything in common with them now, or have a relationship with them any more if you don't want to. I stay in contact with a handful of my classmates. The others, I couldnt' care less.

[kentauros]

22. It's interesting that the few with whom I am in contact again

are all of my intellectual friends from band and D&D gaming. And to a T, they're all liberals, too. I went to my 10-year reunion and vowed to go to no others after that. I simply could not relate to any of them, unlike my aforementioned friends. Plus, those few good friends range in ages, versus classmates all the same age. Hell, I didn't even relate to them in high school!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

24. Your comment makes the Opening Post sound implausible. I hope our exchange caused Good edit.

Last edited Sat May 28, 2016, 05:13 PM - Edit history (1)

Why do you think anyone would put those kind of anti-Obama comments in an Opening Post, at a Democrat website? I suspect the DU Opening Post was similar to a few of my own. I often post first and rewrite later, which is a mistake that costed me plenty of readers.

[PJMcK]

4. Take a deep breath

Relax, elleng. Your classmates are obviously under the influence of the Kool Aid or ignorance.

Did you follow the 2012 election? Remember how Karl Rove's head exploded when Fox News called Ohio for President Obama? My former father-in-law (R-obviously) couldn't believe the election results and just KNEW that the election would be overturned by the Supreme Court. I never had so much fun just watching him and not saying a thing. It made him nuts!

You really cannot engage with the stupid. It's a waste of time and your emotions. For the most part, Donald Trump's followers are detached from reality, history and facts. Hold your horses and just watch while the Democratic Party destroys the Republicans this fall. Then you'll be able to hold your head high with the confidence that you're right and our country will stay on the right path. The best part is you won't have to say a word, just smile at your classmates.

[SheilaT]

6. Either ignore it completely, block their posts from appearing on your FB page,

or unfriend them altogether.

Ignoring, as in not paying attention, can be highly effective. In 2012 a h.s. classmate "Liked" Mitt Romney. I was appalled, but didn't say anything, and she never posted anything overtly political. This year, she has likewise made no overtly political statement on FB, although she posts frequently: typically stuff about her grandkids or memories of other classmates. We recently had our 50th reunion and that's been nice.

I realize you may not at all be referring to FB, but the principles still apply.

Because I lived for so long (18 years) in Kansas, surrounded by Republicans, I learned to conceal my political opinions for the most part. Here I get to express them, and that's nice.

As for the substance of your post, while I don't think of this country as evil for dropping the bomb, it's actually clear by now we didn't need to do it. Personally, I think Obama should apologize for it, but he's not asking me for my opinion.

[elleng]

10. Thanks, SheilaT; that's basically what I've done, IGNORE, that is,

haven't paid attention to her political crap.

It IS FB, and due to connections there, I gave a 70th birth anniversary party last year for the classmates who could come; 15 did; she was unable (and she had put together our 50th graduation party at home a few years ago; she's an 'important' alum, that many of us like and maintain the connection with.)

I agree with a following poster, it's probably 'foxitis.' I just bookmarked POTUS' speech at Hiroshima, IF anyone responds to my post 'he said no such thing' so I'd be able to provide EVIDENCE!

[trudyco]

16. Elleng

I always enjoy what you have to say here. There are sane people, too. My classmates are mostly Repub, many are low information Trump supporters. Some of them unfriended me LOL. What's worse one of my family members who is highly educated is a Trump supporter and I can't exactly cut off my family.

But, on the bright side, my MIL and SIL and my MIL friends are all Republican and they are appalled by Trump. They are going to write in Kasich then vote down ticket. So many Republicans are very unhappy. I don't think the unifying of the party is going past the politicians.

I also suspect, but don't have proof, that Trump doesn't really want to be President. He isn't really going after the Independents and he often makes statements that seem more geared to making Democrats and Independents decide to vote for Hillary (if she gets the nomination) as the lesser of two evils. He threatened to get SCOTUS who would reverse abortion, he said he'd gut the EPA and business regulations, it was brought out that he stopped dating a woman because she was half black, he's denying CA has a drought, he's complained about a Mexican judge... these all seem to be things specifically targeted to Democrats and especially potential Hillary supporters to push them into voting against him. But he's all over the map and any good PR person would have had him have a clear narrative where he'd be making some concessions to the right but also some towards drawing in the Independents. He isn't doing that. That's why I don't think he wants to be President. In fact, he may not be Republican. He's just stirring the pot and enjoying the notoriety. I suspect he never thought he'd be this popular and he loves it. But he doesn't really want to govern. That's kind of tedious.

So despite your classmates lack of logical political sense, I don't think he will win. Or if he does win it's because he out hacked the vote counting of the other side so really it doesn't matter how we voted anyway (sorry, I'm a bit of a cynic these days).

[elleng]

21. Thanks, trudyco.

You've reminded me of one of my best friends in high school, TRUDY! Sorry she didn't make it to my reunion/birthday party last year.

My class seems to be made of many Dems and some repugs. Have agreed to disagree with one who does (or did) support tramp. I don't know how many more there are, but most are not 'low information.' We attended one of the highest rated high schools in the country (on Long Island, NY,) so no excuse for them to be ignorant.

I tend to agree that tramp doesn't really want to be president.

[3catwoman3]

28. He would glory in the title.

No way he wants to work as hard as he would have to if he got the job, for which he is spectacularly unsuited.

[elleng]

29. Darn right he doesn't want to work that hard,

and he MAY at some point figure it out! Think his 'designated' VP, whomever that might be, will let him know?

THAT person may be more important to this process that usual.

[3catwoman3]

31. Not only doesn't want to work that hard, I have serious...

...doubts about his ability to put forth the sustained effort that the job would require. The president is never truly off duty. Never. He does not control is own life or schedule. The Secret Service knows his every move. There could be no bellowing, "Get 'im outta here," or "You're fired," on a whim.

Finesse is required. He hasn't any.

[elleng]

32. Absolutely, you've mentioned several attributes he probably doesn't have

AND would need.

[Thinkingabout]

7. Sounds like FOXitis stage 5, no cure in many cases.

[gratuitous]

8. I have a couple of FBers like that

I have simply taken them off all my feeds. I'll see something of theirs if an actual friend likes it, but for the most part, they can stew in their own juices without any input from me. That way I don't unfriend them, they never know that I don't see their stuff, and everyone's happier, especially me.

[CurtEastPoint]

11. I do the same.

[TeamPooka]

9. With friends like that who needs the internet?

[Downwinder]

13. Can't help.

Had a 50th reunion and nobody showed up.

[SheilaT]

17. How many in your class?

Was it really small? Had they all left for other parts of the country?

I attend reunions for two different classes, because I graduated a year early, so I had a 50th last year, and have another 50th next month. Reasonably large urban school, over 400 each class. So far, for both of them, a lot of people have or will show up who either never attended a reunion before, or who haven't in some time.

What distresses me a lot is the ones who aren't coming, citing health issues and consequent problems travelling a long distance. And we are not yet 70.

Heck, I've been in touch with classmates at the school I attended on the other side of the country through 8th grade, hoping to attend that 50th. Alas, they are holding it the weekend before something else I'd already planned to go to, and it's simply not possible to make both events. Well, if I were rich enough to afford a private jet charter I probably could, but alas, I'm not. Again, the classmates who will not be attending for health reasons, is discouragingly large in number.

[Downwinder]

23. We had about 600. Even in school everyone went their own ways.

After graduation they scattered.

I have no desire to go back, even if I were able. I think that is a common feeling for the class. I speak to others occasionally (every decade or two).

[SheilaT]

25. Not a single person out of 600?

That's genuinely sad.

In reality, it's probable that at least half of them probably live in the same state, and about a quarter of them in the same city/metro area. At least those numbers are accurate about classes in three different parts of the country that I'm familiar with.

Or did that class never hold a reunion until the 50th? If that's the case, many of them wouldn't have been locateable, especially women who change their names upon marriage. Or those who have relatively common names, and no one has heard from them since graduation.

My classes all held regular reunions, which makes a difference.

A lot of people express scorn and derision at the very thought of attending a reunion, or they went to their tenth and didn't like it. I can assure everyone that a mere ten years out of high school almost everyone is still in the same role they were back then, but the more time passes the less that is true. And by the 50th, people are, in my experience, completely beyond that. Indeed, there's a strong sense of being grateful to still be around, even though most of us still are. Nonetheless, we've lost enough classmates to be very aware of our own mortality.

I tell people they should attend as many class reunions as possible. Especially as the years go on. At this point, those who've been organizing reunions aren't certain they will do it again. It's a lot of work, and as wonderful as the reunions have been, there's a certain sense that it may be a time to bring them to an end. I hope not, but I live in a different state and so I'm not really able to help in the planning.

[Different Drummer]

14. IMO, hating some HS classmates is inevitable,

especially on FB. I responded to a couple of political posts a friend of mine made a few months ago, not noticing that he had set his posts to public and that everyone on FB could see his posts, as well as responses to them. He is a fairly new friend and a lib, the same as I am. Well, his posts and my responses to them didn't sit well with a HS classmate of mine who just couldn't face the possibility that he might know a liberal Democrat, so he unfriended me. A woman who wasn't in my class but whom I know and who was the victim of a Fox News brainwashing years ago reacted similarly. Nowadays, I'm much more careful to check on whether or not the person to whom I'm responding has set their posts to public.

[frogmarch]

15. Tell your ignorant Obama-hating Fb friends to read this:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2016/05/27/obama-visit-hiroshima-bomb-site-pledges-no-apology/85022938/

(bold emphasis mine)

HIROSHIMA, Japan — President Obama made an emotional and historic visit to this once-shattered city Friday, embracing survivors of the Aug. 6, 1945, atomic bomb blast and renewing calls for an end to nuclear weapons.

He did not, however, apologize for the decision to drop the bomb.

"We come to Hiroshima to ponder the terrible forces unleashed in the not so distant past. We come to mourn the dead," Obama said in a speech at Hiroshima’s Peace Memorial Park.

An estimated 140,000 people — including a dozen captured American airmen and thousands of forced laborers from Korea — were killed in the world’s first atomic bombing at Hiroshima. Another 70,000 people died in the atomic bombing of Nagasaki three days later.

Friday’s visit was the first by a sitting U.S. head of state and appeared carefully crafted to focus on reconciliation, rather than troubling questions of wartime blame or responsibility.

I wonder how many people are aware that along with the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the firebombing of Tokyo killed at least 100,000 people and injured around a million others. My dad was stationed in Japan after the war, and our family lived in Tokyo. My mom, who'd been a an ARC worker during the war, took my sister and me with her when she went to what we referred to as the tin-hut town, where survivors of the firebombing lived (if you can call it that) in huts they'd made out of wood scraps, rags, paper and tin. Americans mostly called it Ant Town, but we didn't. When the Army wasn't looking (how Mom put it), Mom took my sister and me, along with her train case full of gauze and medicines and canned goods and clothing she'd collected from churches and other organizations and we did our best to help the firebomb survivors who weren't too proud to accept help or who didn't hate us. Mom wasn't alone in her efforts. There were other volunteers helping too. My best friend in Japan was Kasuko, who was about 8 years old (I was 6). She lived with her family in the tin-hut town. I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up and fix her firebomb-mangled legs. The people in the tin-hut town rec'd food rations, but they were still starving and grew vegetables in the ashy dirt, and ate mice.

President Obama handled everything perfectly. His haters can just fuck right on off. And so can war.

[elleng]

20. Thanks. Good one.

I went so far as to say 'he said no such thing,' but will use some of this IF I hear anything back.

THANKS for what you and your family did.

[Fumesucker]

18. Once you learn how to pose questions the right way they are much easier to deal with

Act like you have no idea what they are talking about, not hostile just interested and lead them on, after a while you can have them so tied up with their own inconsistencies they are about to blow a gasket but if you ask them why they can't tell you.

"Oh, I'm such an ignoramus, I can't pay attention to politics, none of them make sense to me. The Democrats say this and the Republicans say that, I have no idea what to think". Then they'll try to explain and the fun ensues.

Arguing with them does zero good, getting them to explain themselves to a listener who has no idea what all the dog whistles actually mean (but really does) can be entertaining.

[elleng]

19. I agree; that's been my approach generally (in life.)

I am an advocate, after all. 'Entertaining' would be good!

[LibDemAlways]

26. I ignored a high school classmate's right wing crap until he started

posting hateful stuff on some of my FB friends' walls. Then I unfriended him. Don't know why some people have their privacy settings so loose that their posts can be seen by general public or friends of friends anyway. That's asking for trouble.

[elleng]

27. I'm open to public (I think,)

and haven't had anything personally hateful. I am careful about what I say to whom.

[Initech]

30. That's the end result of what happens when you replace Fox News with critical thinking.