Everyone who didn't see this coming, raise your hand

[cthulu2016]

They are now reporting that the Canadian cat-torturer and sometime porn performer who is suspected of mailing dismembered body parts to the Conservative Party may have eaten parts of his victim. (According to MSNBC)

Well, duh.

They don't call it the zombie apocalypse for nothing.

[WilliamPitt]

1. I am typing these words

to make a point of how much this thread has wasted my time.

You have my time now.

Please don't do it again.

[Cali_Democrat]

2. The Zombie Apocalypse is not something that should be taken lightly.

Be prepared --->>> http://www.amazon.com/The-Zombie-Survival-Guide-Protection/dp/1400049628

[WilliamPitt]

3. NOM NOM NOM

says me to your face.

...and I ain't dead yet.

Kinda screws up the whole theory.

Or something.

[tularetom]

4. If you hadn't responded

You would still have all that time.

See, I gave up some time to respond too.

But I'm not the one bitching about it. And I'll bet I have a lot less time left than you do.

[cthulu2016]

6. Is kicking worthless threads your version of "The Royal Nonesuch"?

[slackmaster]

5. You kill the brain, you kill the ghoul

Shoot 'em in the head.

[Initech]

7. And yet the CDC is actively denying the zombie apocalypse is happening.

Move along, nothing to see here.

[chowder66]

8. Americans heads are getting bigger to meet Zombie Nutritional needs.

Zombie buffet!

all kidding aside. These stories are terrifying and sad.