General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSo I get this email from a Republican errrr pal of mine.
My simple response is at the end....Well, OK, so there are some generalizations here, but the overall philosophy does hold true...
THE FENCE TEST, THINK ABOUT THIS, IT IS TRUE.
You can't get any more accurate than this!
Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".
Well, I forwarded it.
I wrote back:
Republicans are fascist douchebags.
If a Democrat reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Republican will delete it because he's "offended".
Well, I forwarded it.
= new reply since forum marked as read
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Mind if I steal and use this as needed?
Vincardog
(20,234 posts)
EOTE
(13,409 posts)If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.
Yeah, just ask Donahue and Olbermann. Fucking republicans don't have the brain cells required to make a cogent argument.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
And just how many democrats have done this? Does your mentally challenged friend have a tough time discerning the difference between following the constitution and wanting to silence any mentioning of religion?
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
No, actually if a republican is homosexual, chances are that he'll stay in the closet for the rest of his life and if he's a congressman too, he'll do his damnedest to make sure that the lives of other homosexuals are as miserable as possible. I'd like to believe that nearly ALL democrats believe in respect for all, but RIGHTS sometimes need to be legislated.
I'm guessing your friend's sole brain cell must get awfully lonely sometimes.
jmowreader
(50,553 posts)That's how we know this whole thing is bullshit: there's no such thing as a Republican who's a non-believer.
CJCRANE
(18,184 posts)Um, no one *decides* if they need healthcare.
We all need it sooner or later and we have no way of knowing when that'll be.
Only God/Nature/Luck can decide when we need it.
catbyte
(34,373 posts)s/he decides not to have an abortion, but respects the opinions of others and respects their right to privacy.
If a Republican is pro-life, s/he will outlaw abortion for everyone because, after all, it's murder.
Diane
Anishinaabe in MI & mom to Leo, Taz & Nigel, members of Dogs Against Romney, Cat Division
"Dogs Aren’t Luggage Even Though They Are Lower Life Forms--HISS!”
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he pretends he does so his buddies don’t think he’s a whimp.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, they promote reasonable regulation and education.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he’s a cannibal.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he teaches his friends how to cook some damned tasty veggie dishes.
If a Republican is homosexual, he hates himself.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he fights for the same rights that every other American gets.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he blames Democrats for shitting on big corporations by making them pay taxes and following regulations that protect worker’s health and our environment.
A Democrat wonders why mega-corps are making record profits and still not hiring.
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he reads Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be held to the same standards as real journalists.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he has nothing to live for.
A Democrat non-believer wants separation of church and state.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes without, like so many others, unless he has a spare 2 grand every month because employers aren’t offering health insurance as often as they used to.
A Democrat fights for health coverage for all Americans.
If a Republican reads this, he'll turn beet red and start spitting “socialist”, “commie”, “Marxist” or any one of the other words they don’t understand.
A Democrat will forward this because they believe in humanity and the rights of all Americans, even Republicans.
the other one
(1,499 posts)If there's a Republican that doesn't like guns, I haven't met them.
Democrats are concerned about crime and how to prevent its causes.
If there's a Republican vegetarian, I haven't met them.
Democrats would like a safe, healthy and affordable food supply for all.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life in the closet.
Democrats demand that everyone be respected.
When people are down-and-out, a Republican tells them to get a job.
A Democrat takes care of them.
I don't give a rat's ass about talk shows, so no comment. But I remember Dan Rather getting canned for a report critical of Bush if that counts for anything.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he keeps that in the closet.
Democrats want religion and government separate. Like in the Constitution.
Republicans want health insurance for those who can afford it.
Democrats want health care for all.
Forward this to 10 friends in 10 minutes and you will win the election this fall!
JoePhilly
(27,787 posts)something much, much funnier.
He sent one in which he said Obama would turn the US into the Soviet Union. He then said Obama was a communist, and then later in the email, called Obama a Socialist. I pointed out that the Soviet Union no longer exists and that communism and socialism are not the same thing, and so perhaps he should head over to the local community college and take a world history and government class. And then so ... "oh wait, going to college might turn you liberal, better skip that". Our other friends responded by basically laughing in his face.
Then he sent one in which he told a right wing joke. It basically goes like this ... an old priest is on his death bed and he asks Obama and Nancy Pelosi to visit him before he dies. They come and sit on each side of his bed. The ask him "father, why did you request that we come?" ... and he responds, "just like Jesus, I want to die between two criminals."
He thought it was hilarious. He's a very conservative Catholic.
So I responded ...
"Oh, I've seen that one. But when I saw your subject line ... "An old Priest ... ", I assumed you were sending THIS joke I just started to see."
Why are Priest against Contraception?
A) If they can't have sex, you shouldn't be having any either
B) Priests find that condemns reduce their sensitivity and limits their pleasure
B) Contraception limits the supply of little boys in the Parrish
C) All of the Above
And then I included ... "I know, I know, this is totally wrong ... but its also very funny."
He did not respond ... but our other friends did ... one of the wives sent me an angry "That's not appropriate." To which I responded, "I know, that's why I said it was 'totally wrong'" ... not sure she ever liked me anyway. One of the other wives (very Catholic) loved it and said she'd be sharing it.
BTW ... most of these friends are Catholics from Philly, where the latest Priest scandal is going on.
Anyway, my Republican friend no longer sends me such emails, but the others to forward some of them to me, and then I send them funny responses, just to drive our GOP friend nuts.
bongbong
(5,436 posts)Direct the sender to the snopes.com page that debunks their lies.
This works for EVERY repig chain email.
Bettie
(16,089 posts)...is a left wing hate site.
At least that's what my freeper brother says now.
otohara
(24,135 posts)i can't hear you , la,la,la,la
jmowreader
(50,553 posts)If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he keeps his damn mouth shut because his friends will beat him if they find out.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he keeps his damn mouth shut because his friends will beat him if they find out.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he asks that he be given the same rights that all his straight friends have and usually doesn't get them.
If a Republican is homosexual, he knows that if anyone finds out he'll be friendless, and maybe dead, in the morning.
When Republicans are down-and-out, they think about how to better their situation.
When Democrats are down-and-out, they go out and do it.
Ask Keith Olbermann what happens when a Republican doesn't like a talk show host.
Democrats who are non-believers find better things to do with their Sunday mornings than going to church.
Republicans who are non-believers go to church anyway, so no one finds out they don't believe in God.
Republicans protest against "Obamacare," abortion and preventive health services until they get sick, the quarterback knocks up their daughter or their kid gets sick.
Obviously, Democrats DON'T do that.
If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it to every Republican he knows so they can be "offended."
A Democrat will do the same thing...and then post the outraged replies on DU so we can all laugh at them.
theaocp
(4,236 posts)There's just so much "choice" of different jobs and then you have to consider the ones that provide health insurance, too! What a fucking bounty we have in this land of plenty! Please tell your "friend" to fuck off.
