Ask, tell: What gay rights wins can teach pro-choice movement

[William769]

It’s happened to Newt Gingrich, and he responded calmly. Michele Bachmann gets it again and again. Mitt Romney learned the hard way in a New Hampshire diner.

It seems that everywhere the Republican hopefuls go, they’re confronted by supporters of gay rights, who may or may not themselves be gay. And every time it happens, their equivocations or evasions or sputtering give birth to another viral moment, primed for Facebook sharing and coalescing around the view that the Republicans are hopelessly out of touch on an issue of growing consensus. That narrative gets reinforced even without the candidates’ help — just last week, there was the instantly iconic image of a sailor, first off the ship, passionately kissing her partner, and the enduring popularity of Zach Wahls’ earnest speech about his mothers before the Iowa Legislature.

You know what I’ve never seen someone confront a Republican candidate about, with maybe one exception? The fact that four of them have signed the so-called Personhood pledge to wholly ban abortion and many common forms of birth control, or that five of them have vowed to defund Planned Parenthood, which provides basic health services to literally millions of women under the Title X program. The only recent viral video I can remember that deals with reproductive rights was U.S. Rep. Jackie Speier saying on the House floor in February that she had terminated a wanted pregnancy with serious complications. Combined traffic tallies at every publicly measured place where this video was posted suggest it had a fraction of the views of the others.

Such cathartic, confrontational moments aren’t the whole picture, but they’re emblematic of the sort of enthusiasm and grass-roots engagement that the gay rights movement has seen this year, and not coincidentally, they’ve come along with real legislative momentum. It’s hard to disagree that this year was “the best year for gays ever.” The Obama administration certainly would like that word out there, since it’s steadily building a case that it’s done more for gay rights in three years than anyone else did in eight. (Not that there’s very much competition on that front, given that the two most-targeted policies, “don’t ask, don’t tell” and the Defense of Marriage Act, were put in place by our last Democratic president.)

http://www.salon.com/2011/12/26/ask_tell_what_gay_rights_wins_can_teach_pro_choice_movement/singleton/

[izquierdista]

1. Not a useful lesson

Gays are looking forward to building a life in the open; having to terminate a pregnancy means having to put it behind in the (closed) past. There is nothing that can be gained from telling one's story of having to terminate their pregnancy, other than to leave the option open for other women who find themselves in the same situation.

I think I agree with Mike Malloy on this one, the pro-choice movement missed the marketing boat and should relabel themselves the pro-privacy movement. It might win more converts to say "government has no business intruding between a woman and her doctor".

[William769]

2. I think you missed the point of the article.

Did you read the whole article?

[izquierdista]

3. And?

I cn b crptc 2.

[jeff47]

4. Way to not read.

"There is nothing that can be gained from telling one's story of having to terminate their pregnancy, other than to leave the option open for other women who find themselves in the same situation."

Because it's impossible for a woman to need another abortion. Each one is allocated only one ectopic pregnancy, and if she uses that up she's in the clear for the rest of her life.

Even if we buy into your assumption that she's only working for selfish reasons, she's got a reason to protect her own freedom.

The reason for women to "come out" that they have had an abortion is the "pro-life" groups have successfully labeled such women as "irresponsible" and "bad". Much like gays used to be labeled. Demonstrating that such women are not irresponsible nor bad greatly disarms the anti-abortion forces. They'd have to fess up that abortion isn't about sluts trying to escape consequences. They'd actually have to address the reason why women get abortions.

[izquierdista]

5. What needs to "come out"?

If women need to tell their stories why their abortion was a medically necessary procedure, I still don't see why they have to give up their privacy to make their point. That the 'pro-life' groups get so much mileage out of "irresponsible" and "bad" IMHO indicates a failure on the part of women's health groups to explain that not all pregnancies can be brought to term. There are cases (and Dr. Tiller handled many of them) which would completely take the wind out of the sails of pro-lifers. They would be left muttering "oh, I didn't know there could be those kinds of complications ...[font size = 1]mumble...mumble..mumble[font size = 2]", and they would shut up and go away.

I'm still not convinced that regular women need to tell their story any more than I needed to hear (and see) Katie Couric's colonoscopy. There are some topics that need to be kept confidential between patient and doctor. I must be old, thinking in terms of patient privacy.

[jeff47]

7. Because anti-abortion is all about sluts

If they don't reveal their identity, then they can't disarm anti-abortion forces.

More to the point, the idea is to stop having dumb reactions like yours, where abortion is something icky that needs to be hidden away and never discussed. Because that's how anti-abortion forces have ignored the medical necessity.

[CTyankee]

15. there was a time when feminists came out with the stories of their illegal abortions back in the day

and when doctors in hospital Emergency Rooms actually saw the horrors of women suffering and dying from botched, back alley or self induced abortions and told their stories, trying desperately to save a woman who had had a septic abortion.

After Roe, to put it quite simply, women stopped dying from those abortions. The fact of the matter is that by making abortion illegal, it will not simply "go away." It will cause women to DIE.
Making abortion illegal never has and never will make it stop. Not here. Not anywhere else in the world. Not ever.

[Warren DeMontague]

6. We need to stop living in terror of imaginary "values voters".

Most Americans are pro-choice. Most Americans support marriage equality. Most Americans want pot to be legalized.


Our leaders need to catch up.

[CTyankee]

10. warren, please see my post further down the thread.

As a former PP staff member, I have tried to address what you are saying, since I was once one who believed as you do.

It seems to me that if the gay rights movement can be this pro-active, so can the pro choice movement. It hasn't happened and reproductive rights continue to suffer and not have the public support it once had. With 3 granddaughters I feel the chill wind blowing...

[xchrom]

8. interesting. nt

[CTyankee]

9. I once believed that all was ok because the american people are pro-choice. I've been proven wrong.

The percentages have gone DOWN among americans approving of roe. v. wade, or in many other wordings. The most regressive stands on abortion have been passed by state legislatures. Restrictions on Roe continue to be enacted by state legislatures. The forces against reproductive freedom for women are stronger than ever, nearly winning the battle to defund Planned Parenthood at the federal level, which had been heretofore unthinkable!

I worked for Planned Parenthood at the state level, in the Development area. We had donors whom we asked to bring in new donors from amongst their social circle and many of them shuddered. They would continue their financial support, but asking their friends and colleagues to join them in support was something they had problems with. Why? Because their friends -- even liberal ones -- thought PP was just too synonymous with abortion. We had to rebut with "It's only 5%" again and again. It was like throwing ourselves against a brick wall. People want a strong reason to feel good about supporting an organization. These donors were feeling cowed and tentative. Not a good position to be in when you are trying to win hearts and minds.

As an organization, PP (both nationally and locally) has retreated behind the castle walls. Yes, they help litigate cases and work continually with collegial organizations, feminist and reproductive rights organizations, the ACLU, gay rights groups, etc. But getting out there in the public fray debating/confronting the right to lifers was not something they wanted to take on. It wasn't a question of whether an individual woman came out with her story because that's been done on numerous occasions. It was a question of the organization becoming a major player in the court of public opinion.

I had donors ask me "why aren't you talking publicly about all the good work you do in all these areas of women's and their families' lives?" Programs such as "how to talk to your kids about sex" for instance. PP has an education department that produces excellent information for parents and young people. And it's very family oriented that stresses that parents are the best sex educators for their children. It would be hard for the RW to argue with that.

The gay rights movement is totally the right model for PP and other reproductive rights organizations. It takes a lot of courage, but believe me, the people who work in the trenches at PP health centers all over the country are among the most courageous people I've ever encountered. It is a management issue. The organization simply has to move beyond just talking with their friends, just getting board members who don't rock the boat organizationally, just maintaining smug superiority and among their tight little groups.

Why hasn't this been done?

[William769]

11. Thank you for a informative post.

I think some responses in this thread are based on their prejudice of the right to choose and nothing else.

[CTyankee]

13. I hope that I was pretty clear in my post.

In fact, it is because I feel so strongly about a woman's right to choose that I think a new way of promoting the prochoice cause is necessary!

[xchrom]

14. taking away reproductive rights by inches has served the Right very well.

it's worked on the minds of americans --it's taken away the will to fight for what is right -- and it's created a hierarchy of people who want to maintain their positions of rubbing elbows with the powerful without creating waves.

[CTyankee]

16. While that may very well apply to at the national level, it's not quite that simple at the state

level. It is important to have the ear of your state's AG, such as PP of CT did with Dick Blumenthal who is a true friend of the prochoice movement. Those sorts of ties must be maintained to the degree they can be.

I'm talking about taking the issue to the American public the way the gay rights movement has. There needs to be a VERY public campaign outlining what happens when abortion is made illegal. Yes, the stories must be told, but there needs to be a FLOOD of articles and publicity about all the good things PP does -- and not just when the movement is confronted with defunding of PP --it must be out in the community all the time. PP needs to be a "people friendly" organization publicly, not just working behind the scenes. This is critical for the organization to survive and keep serving the women that its serves so admirably in the local clinics all across the country...

[Warren DeMontague]

17. key phrase there is "in many wordings". Phrasing is key.

Look, when push comes to shove and people actually THINK about legislating against reproductive choice, they don't do it. The wet dream of the anti-choicers is to grant rights under the 14th amendment to single cells- (thereby outlawing not just abortion, but oral contraceptives as well) yet every time they get close to actually trying, they get their butts kicked. Why? Because while people answer polls saying "oh, yeah, I like life. I'm pro life"... when you ask them if they want to, for instance, outlaw abortion, outlaw birth control, throw women in prison for aborting, etc. they will say "no".

As usual, we do a piss-poor job of framing. We need to do better in that regard, clearly.

[CTyankee]

18. I'm disallusioned from "framing." We tried that at PP of CT.

That framing guy thought this one up and everyone was going around with his little book. It was a little strange. I thought at the time that it would be better if they could just hear from rank and file people that they HELPED! I mean really! But, sadly, it didn't happen...

[Warren DeMontague]

20. I remember standing with 1.2 Million other people in DC in April of 2004

As the media completely ignored us.



I don't know what the answer is.

[CTyankee]

22. Oh, I remember so well. It didn't "work", did it?

It is sad, but it didn't work. We need another strategy. We need to go to the people. I don't pretend to know how to do it, but it must be done on choice. Otherwise we will keep losing. And we can't do that.

Failure is impossible.

[Warren DeMontague]

23. It was the largest gathering on the mall, ever. If nothing else

it reminded the Powers-That-Be; who love to spin yarns about the mythological "values voter" as cover for a corporatist control agenda-- where the REAL majority is.

[CTyankee]

24. I know that, and yet, look at all the advances anti-choice measures in states leges all

around the country have taken place!

Simply put, we have NOT connected on the ground with our natural allies, people who would be with us. WE haven't given them a reason to feel comfortable defending us against some of the roughest customers in the antichoice community. WE gotta get out there and fight. We aren't doing it. It is a shame, isn't it?

[Warren DeMontague]

27. Yes

but I make no qualms about standing up for what I believe in.

[CTyankee]

30. I have no qualms either, probably because I'm too damn old to care what anyone thinks...

You did the right thing as did all of those people who gathered on the mall. The media was shameful not to cover it. Frankly, I don't know why they didn't. But the prochoice movement should have taken a clue and said "OK, a mass march on Washington SHOULD have worked, but didn't. Now what." Instead, I heard lots of people moaning and groaning about how bad the media is. Well, the media is terrible when it comes to causes the media thinks is just a bunch of lefties.

This is where the example of the gay rights movement is instructive. They stood up and got in the face of elected officials. People began to realize that gay people are their neighbros, their relatives, their coworkers. Ordinary people, not weirdos. Well, it's the same with women who have had abortions or those close to them.

We need to pin the wingnut candidates down. What do they actually MEAN when they say "no exceptions" for an abortion? For example, in 2004 my daughter developed an extremely dangerous form of eclampsia in her 8th month of pregnancy. Fortunately, she was far enough in her pregnancy that an emergency C section could be performed without danger to the baby she wanted so much. But if it had been much earlier in the pregnancy, she would probably have to have had an abortion in order to save her life. So let some politician tell me that in his or her
view my daughter should have just died!

[MineralMan]

12. Yes. Very good comparison.

The same forces that have fought against LGBT equality are fighting against women's right to choose, and using many of the same strategies. It's time to fire up the support for choice, and I believe the strategies that have been used to make gains for LGBT rights can be effective in other areas where people's rights are threatened. Thanks for posting this.

[frazzled]

19. I think there's a good point here.

One of the things that has helped the gay movement is the coming out itself, the realization by many citizens that their boss, their son, their sibling, their neighbor, whom they had always loved and/or respected before, was gay. It gave a face--a face of normalcy--to being gay. Back when ActUp was doing very confrontational actions, it wasn't working so well: but it did have a benefit. It made people come out, and the confrontation of those years turned eventually to showing that many people were living regular, middle class lives as couples, and with children. This is what caused our society to shift its views.

Women of all ages, socioeconomic levels, classes and races need to come out, just to say "I had an abortion." They might be mothers of well-loved children, they might be single, they might be senior citizens. I don't think this has to be limited to women who had medical reasons to abort a pregnancy: there are many valid reasons, none of which are really anybody's business, to make that personal decision. It will be the large numbers and "normalcy" of these women, the respect they have in their communities and families and among their co-workers, that will help change attitudes. The right cannot stereotype women anymore when people see that their grandmother, their aunt, their boss, their neighbor are among those women who chose to terminate a pregnancy.

(Disclosure: I was fortunate never to have had to make the decision to have an abortion; but there was a time in my life when I was certain that if I did become pregnant I would absolutely have to terminate it. I had two young children, one with a disability and the other who had been an extremely taxing infant; our income could barely support the four of us at the time; and I simply had no more emotional or financial resources to give to another child. I felt that my two beloved children would suffer if there was yet another person to tend to and support. I would not have had that third child. I was lucky it didn't come to that.)

[CTyankee]

21. I felt the same way with my 3 children, when I thought was pregnant with a 4th. I was mercifully

wrong. But I was prepared to have a first trimester abortion if it was a pregnancy. This was NOT what I wanted. I wanted it to be that I had 3 kids and that was it!

OK it really worked out for me and there was no abortion. But it was then that I realized what other women were going thru. I dropped any illusions I had about women in any station of life when it came to an unwanted pregnancy. This stuck with me.

It is why I am here in this group today...

[frazzled]

29. Absolutely: just thinking about it marks the moment of commitment

It makes you totally understand (I supported, but had never truly "understood&quot the desperation that a woman undergoes when she feels that she must not carry that pregnancy to term. I suppose many many women have had this epiphany at some point, whether or not they have ever had to go through with an abortion themselves.

From then on, you cannot turn your back on other women. And you're right: you never forget it.

It's really time we all admit and discuss these thoughts and actions out loud. (I should say, it's again time to discuss these issues, because we did do it during the first wave of feminism. )

[ohheckyeah]

25. I think this makes a very good point.

I think women have been so shamed over having an abortion that they have been conditioned to keep it to themselves. I agree that coming out about it could have a big effect on how people think of abortion but frankly I don't see it happening any time soon.

[CTyankee]

26. then we could have surrogates! They would serve as well...

the message needs to be driven home and it is NOT shame. It is that we need abortion care for women, who are human beings, not vessels for fetuses.

This is an opportunity for us. Shame on our nationally based organizations. They should be encouraged to reach out to the community at this time...

[ohheckyeah]

28. I agree...

I was the only person in my high school civics class who would take the pro-choice side in a debate. It created a lot of grief for me but I didn't regret doing it.