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Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:19 PM

I had an abortion at 7 months pregnant in 1978.

It was after extensive consultation with my doctor and my husband. My husband drove me 6 hrs away to find a clinic that did them that late. We paid for a hotel room nearby.

Although I am sometimes sad about never having children I will never regret my decision. I feel grateful often that some medical people somewhere close enough for me to access, was willing to do what needed to be done. That kind of work had to be hard on them. They were compassionate, skilled and probably saved my life.

It was hard enough as it was. A torturous decision. Why..... WHY....... does anyone in government.......... anyone in the whole world...... think they have any right to make it even harder than it has to be. WHY would anyone demand that I be forced to carry until the actual moment of life threatening emergency takes place.... when the odds of me surviving would be so much less having lived in a very rural area? WHY add more expense, invasive ultrasounds and waiting periods to the agony already present in such a decision?

WHY - WHY - would anyone think they have a right to make a medically necessary procedure illegal.

You have no say. It's not your baby. It's not your body. You are not my doctor. The whole lot of you who think the ban is a fair compromise are so far in the wrong it's ridiculous.

I hope to God none of you ever face a decision like that.

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Reply I had an abortion at 7 months pregnant in 1978. (Original post)
KentuckyWoman Mar 2016 OP
shrike Mar 2016 #1
kas125 Mar 2016 #19
renate Mar 2016 #96
wryter2000 Mar 2016 #92
Kalidurga Mar 2016 #2
shrike Mar 2016 #4
Kalidurga Mar 2016 #7
riversedge Mar 2016 #54
PatrickforO Mar 2016 #51
Blue_In_AK Mar 2016 #59
ms liberty Mar 2016 #3
jeff47 Mar 2016 #5
Yuugal Mar 2016 #29
lark Mar 2016 #45
AllyCat Mar 2016 #75
AtheistCrusader Mar 2016 #88
redruddyred Mar 2016 #94
7962 Mar 2016 #91
itcfish Mar 2016 #34
jeff47 Mar 2016 #35
truebluegreen Mar 2016 #76
AtheistCrusader Mar 2016 #89
Hydra Mar 2016 #6
KentuckyWoman Mar 2016 #8
jillan Mar 2016 #9
Warpy Mar 2016 #10
elljay Mar 2016 #44
stevenleser Mar 2016 #70
mwooldri Mar 2016 #81
Bjornsdotter Mar 2016 #11
pansypoo53219 Mar 2016 #12
qwlauren35 Mar 2016 #13
warrprayer Mar 2016 #14
fbc Mar 2016 #15
XemaSab Mar 2016 #16
ScreamingMeemie Mar 2016 #33
sarge43 Mar 2016 #73
shadowmayor Mar 2016 #17
Arugula Latte Mar 2016 #18
SoapBox Mar 2016 #20
Boldine Mar 2016 #21
rusty quoin Mar 2016 #25
raccoon Mar 2016 #41
Lazy Daisy Mar 2016 #60
mountain grammy Mar 2016 #22
Greybnk48 Mar 2016 #23
CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2016 #24
GaYellowDawg Mar 2016 #26
beam me up scottie Mar 2016 #27
liberalfromaustin21 Mar 2016 #28
Arazi Mar 2016 #30
myrna minx Mar 2016 #31
es35 Mar 2016 #32
jwirr Mar 2016 #40
Bluenorthwest Mar 2016 #36
hamsterjill Mar 2016 #58
polly7 Mar 2016 #37
CrispyQ Mar 2016 #38
Hell Hath No Fury Mar 2016 #39
bluevoter4life Mar 2016 #42
valerief Mar 2016 #47
Mariana Mar 2016 #50
valerief Mar 2016 #84
mountain grammy Mar 2016 #71
bluevoter4life Mar 2016 #79
elljay Mar 2016 #43
valerief Mar 2016 #46
eggplant Mar 2016 #48
noiretextatique Mar 2016 #49
fredamae Mar 2016 #52
SunSeeker Mar 2016 #53
MuseRider Mar 2016 #55
saidsimplesimon Mar 2016 #56
Dont call me Shirley Mar 2016 #57
RoccoR5955 Mar 2016 #61
Jed28 Mar 2016 #62
emsimon33 Mar 2016 #63
The Traveler Mar 2016 #64
Tab Mar 2016 #65
Post removed Mar 2016 #66
Hell Hath No Fury Mar 2016 #67
Mariana Mar 2016 #74
madinmaryland Mar 2016 #78
redruddyred Mar 2016 #95
AlbertCat Mar 2016 #82
truebluegreen Mar 2016 #80
Iggo Mar 2016 #90
Bayard Mar 2016 #68
zentrum Mar 2016 #69
Dems to Win Mar 2016 #72
madinmaryland Mar 2016 #77
KentuckyWoman Mar 2016 #83
Warren DeMontague Mar 2016 #85
easttexaslefty Mar 2016 #86
deathrind Mar 2016 #87
Hell Hath No Fury Mar 2016 #93
KentuckyWoman Mar 2016 #97
MrMickeysMom Mar 2016 #98

Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:22 PM

1. Have you ever seen the documentary "After Tiller"?

Maybe it would be too emotional for you. It's about the four U.S. doctors that continue to provide late-term abortions.

The filmmakers were extremely courageous. They presented the complexity of the issue. One of the doctors did indeed say it can be a difficult procedure to do. But, as one of them said, they are committed to a woman's right to choose, and that means the right to choose late term.

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Response to shrike (Reply #1)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:58 AM

19. I saw it and thank god for those doctors! I had a friend who had juvenile diabetes

and had been sick all her life, but was the friendliest, funniest person in the world and everyone loved her. Three years ago her kidneys stopped working. She was in a Catholic hospital because it was the closest one when we took her to the ER, she was on dialysis, waiting to find out if she was a candidate for a transplant and they discovered that she was pregnant. Of course she needed an abortion, but they wouldn't do it where she was, the hospital wanted her to travel three hours away to have it done, which was impossible. Her ob/gyn told them that the baby was already dead, when it wasn't. I was in the room when he came in with the monitor to listen to see if there was a heartbeat, which they forced him to do. He turned the volume all the way down on the machine and said to the other doctor in the room, "I don't hear anything, do you?" The other doctor said I hear nothing. He asked me if I heard anything. I said nope, I don't hear anything. He asked my friend if she heard anything, she said no. So they let him do it, but only because nobody could hear the heartbeat. My friend lived a few more months, but died long before the baby would have been born. I was SO glad that doctor did what he did or the last few months of her life would have been a thousand times worse than they were.

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Response to kas125 (Reply #19)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 02:16 PM

96. what a compassionate doctor

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend--she sounds like such a lovely person. But as you said, at least the end of her life was easier than it would have been without his kindness and (in a Catholic hospital) bravery.

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Response to shrike (Reply #1)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 12:34 PM

92. I know one of those doctors

Shelly Sella was a resident at the medical center where I used to work. She's my hero, and I've told her that.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:25 PM

2. Well I know someone who had her life ruined by something like this.

She was a youth counselor and very religious both her and her husband. She got pregnant in her early twenties and the baby stopped moving. The doctor refused to take the baby out and she got a life threatening infection. When the doctor finally did deliver the dead fetus it was too late to save her ability to have children. That almost ruined her marriage. It did cause her a whole lot of pain over not being able to have children. It also somehow messed up her hormones for life so she was on medication for that, probably depression too, although she didn't disclose that. The whole reason it came up is she asked me about my homework and I was doing an essay on abortion so she told me her story to give me some real life perspective on the issue. She didn't just tell this to a bunch of teenagers.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #2)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:29 PM

4. I know someone this happened to. The first thing the docs did was induce birth

To get the fetus out. Incredible grief for the parents. The baby was nearly nine months. It just died in utero.

In a fair world, that doctor would have lost his license.

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Response to shrike (Reply #4)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:36 PM

7. He didn't

and I don't know if they declined suing him or if the laws in the 1960s meant they couldn't.

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Response to shrike (Reply #4)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:34 PM

54. That happened to my neice a few years ago. It just stoppeed moving about 37 1/2 weeks. Had to

be aborted immediately. Everything was fine till one morning she said--why isn't he moving today?. Incredible grief like you said.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #2)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:30 PM

51. Ah, the 'christians' making everyone's life better and better...

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #2)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:59 PM

59. I had a nonviable fetus once, also, in 1976.

It was discovered on my fifth-month checkup when I didn't seem to be getting bigger and there was no movement. I had an outpatient vacuum extraction (which technically is an abortion). Because this was handled correctly, I was able to get pregnant again and my second daughter was born the next year. Thank you, Dr. Stransky.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:27 PM

3. Thank you for sharing this.

A woman's choice is just that - her choice. There should be no argument among democrats about this.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:31 PM

5. Thank you for sharing this.

I'd really like Clinton to explain what the point of this compromise is. Is she under the illusion that anti-choicers will stop?

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Response to jeff47 (Reply #5)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:57 AM

29. She is a republican

 

in everything but the letter by her name. Pissing on the left by restricting abortions will be something she can brag about next time she is hanging with her rich conservative friends. They will reward her very well because it really has to be the dems that ruin abortion rights and SS. Wouldn't you agree? I'm sure the rich do.

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Response to Yuugal (Reply #29)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:55 PM

45. Disagree!

Repugs don't support minimum wage and especially any increase in it, she does
Repugs want to make abortion totally illegal, she does not
Repugs are in favor of colleges charging the max possible and students getting killed by for profit loans that kill that future - she isn't
Repugs want immediate war with Iran - she doesn't
Repugs want no restrictions on gun ownership or use (unless it's against the 1% or their enforcers - the cops) she supports sensible restrictions
Repugs want to eviscerate the constitution and make our laws biblical ones - she doesn't

Conflating the 2 just means we get royally screwed by a Trump or Cruz. Don't do it, the American people deserve better than them.

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Response to lark (Reply #45)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 07:31 PM

75. Protecting a woman's right to comprehensive medical care by eroding it.

Interesting strategy.

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Response to lark (Reply #45)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 06:41 AM

88. Ok, ok. Republican Lite.

Big fucking difference.

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Response to lark (Reply #45)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 02:03 PM

94. to be fair

 

hillary was not supporting the $15 wage early in her campaign

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Response to Yuugal (Reply #29)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 11:17 AM

91. Oh please. I'm no HRC supporter, but she's NOT a republican

 

Come on. You sound like those on the right I used to hear in '12 saying "theres no difference between Romney & Obama"

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Response to jeff47 (Reply #5)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 11:22 AM

34. Clinton has

Always been pro-choice.

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Response to itcfish (Reply #34)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 11:24 AM

35. Nope.

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Response to jeff47 (Reply #35)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:06 PM

76. She's deluded if she does.

 

It's clear that they don't give a rat's ass about abortion per se, or saving babies. If they did, they would push policies like sex ed and access to contraceptives, and they would care about those babies after they were born. This is straight up about controlling women.

Why the great feminist and supporter of women and children can't see that is but pathetic and revealing.

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Response to itcfish (Reply #34)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 06:43 AM

89. I'm curious on what basis you think that.

Because it's not true. (see post above)

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:36 PM

6. It's not ok that the religious right thinks they own everyone's unborn

Supporting that behavior is even less the case.

I support everyone's right to access the best medical care and to be able to choose or not to choose whatever is offered, and I am glad you are still with us through such a horrific experience.

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Response to Hydra (Reply #6)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:41 PM

8. Yes that is part of why I posted this as well.

Here we are, fighting to increase access to basic medical care for everyone and then off the side we have members of the Democratic Party talking about compromising away a woman's ability to obtain life saving medical care in certain situations.

It is completely beyond my understanding.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:47 PM

9. Thank you for sharing this with us. It is so true that the government has no right to stand

between a woman and her doctor....
jeebus, isn't that what they warned us about the ACA? (which didn't happen) and then the very same people turn around and want to intervene when it comes to this painful decision.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 10:57 PM

10. I keep trying to tell people that there are always damned good reasons for late abortion

but antiabortionists are so focused on punishing women for the sin of sex that it just doesn't penetrate the layers of cement around their hard little hearts.

Government and preachers should not be trying to practice medicine. Ever.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #10)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:50 PM

44. Not for the sin of sex alone

because they feel free to cheat on their spouses with rentboys or prostitutes. It is for the sins of a woman controlling her own sex life and body.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #10)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:59 PM

70. See downthread. Someone already assumed the OP had no good reason. Shameful.

 

Fortunately, a jury took care of it.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #10)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:47 PM

81. Agreed. No sane doctor would do it without good reason.

While the OP does not go into the reasons why (and rightly so, it's her business) it is a medical decision between the wise doctor and the informed patient. I somehow suspect that there's more women who carry unwanted babies to a viable time of delivery and give them up for adoption than going in for elective late term abortions.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 11:03 PM

11. A mom of a classmate died

....if she had had a late term abortion she would have lived.

This is a medical procedure, not a political procedure.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Mar 7, 2016, 11:14 PM

12. we are only incubators now.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:06 AM

13. What a challenging situation.

I'm sure it took a lot of thought, some sleepless nights, and some real courage. I have had two abortions, and neither so traumatic. Thank you for sharing. My life would be so different without Roe v. Wade, and I don't like to think about it. I also have had no children, and it may have been because of my abortion... I am VERY okay with it. I'm not mother material.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:14 AM

14. If they ever had to walk a mile in your shoes

Maybe they'd really know what it's like to have to choose



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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:32 AM

15. Careful... Hillary may be willing to compromise on the statue of limitations too.

 

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:34 AM

16. People don't have late-term abortions for chuckles

I posted in another thread that I know someone who aborted an anencephalic fetus at 5.5 months.

Horribly, horribly sad, but what else could they do?

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Response to XemaSab (Reply #16)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 10:26 AM

33. This... this right here...

One, it is not like this is a willy-nilly thing that happens all the time. The main two reasons for late-term abortion are this/life of the mother or a judge somewhere stuck his/her nose into a horrific abuse case (this happened in Michigan), dragging it out until what would have been an early abortion ended up being a late-term abortion.

Really, it comes down to it being that woman's right to make the decision about what is best for her body.

I'm so sorry for your friend, Xema. Life is cruel.

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Response to XemaSab (Reply #16)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 06:43 PM

73. Even the most desired pregnancy can go heartbreakingly wrong

No certified MD will perform a late term abortion on a whim.

I'd like someone to ask Hillary Clinton in public if she believes an anencephalic fetus should be brought to term.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:51 AM

17. You didn't have to say a word

But you did, you chose to tell your story; and you tell it bravely. I cannot fathom why it is anybody's business but your own. The controlling, the shaming, the shunning is all part of an authoritarian world I just can't stand. Bless you and yours and thank you for speaking to what is always a personal, private, and still somewhat legal issue.

The Shadow Mayor - Warrior for Peace

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:56 AM

18. Hillary is always giving dog whistles to the right.

 

Par for the course for Two-Faced Hillary.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:07 AM

20. I'll just say...

Thank you for sharing this painful decision.

And agree with your thoughts.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:10 AM

21. I so feel for women who have to go through late term abortion

Abortion is a hard decision. Late term abortions are done after very difficult decisions have been made; these are usually very much wanted babies, the women weren't waiting to have an abortion they were waiting to welcome a healthy baby. Why would someone, especially a woman, want to punish other women whose dreams and hopes have been dashed. Women who go through abortion, especially late term abortions, need our compassion and kindness, not disdain and scorn.

Thank you for sharing your story KW.

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Response to Boldine (Reply #21)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:00 AM

25. Why?

"Why would someone, especially a woman, want to punish other women whose dreams and hopes have been dashed"

The reason why is that religion and politics are now the same, and there is a side you need to take, with no though about details

It's like when Bush said to the world that you are either with us or against us, about the Iraq war. You could not be about supporting America without backing everything it was doing, and about to do.

With the Christian Right, the women who go to church each Sunday, are told either you believe all what I say, or you are against Christ.

Religion is no longer a moral compass in America, it is dogma, and I hate paying their taxes.

I hate it on Sundays paying for cop after cop directing traffic at their churches while I wait. I hate how my whole adult life, they have been tax free spurting out their tv bullshit. I hate how Pat Robertson, the billionaire, for free, gets on tv and asks for donations.

They control minds for voting. It isn't for good things. Jesus Christ would not approve.

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #25)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:57 PM

41. Good post. nt

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #25)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:59 PM

60. Yeah, funny how that works

 

"Why would someone, especially a woman, want to punish other women whose dreams and hopes have been dashed"


When it came time to support Hillary for President, women should burn in hell for not doing so.
When it came time for Hillary to support women on the subject of abortion, she's willing to negotiate with the right. Because, you know, pragmatism.


See how that works?

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:33 AM

22. thank you for sharing this

and to everyone on this thread sharing their story. After reading a particularly nasty exchange on this subject on another thread, this is a much needed dose of reality for some DUer's.

All the best to you, KentuckyWoman.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:47 AM

23. Sending my love and sympathy

to you and your husband for what you had to go through. I can't imagine how you must feel, but your decision clearly was the right one.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:56 AM

24. Thank you so much, my dear KentuckyWoman, for telling us your story.

OF COURSE it was your decision and no-one else's.

I just want to scream when I read about this sort of thing and the people who want to stop it.

As another poster said, this is a medical procedure, not a political one.



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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:32 AM

26. As a man, I have to say...

Thank you for your perspective, and I'm sorry for your pain, both past and present. Because it's a decision that I and no other man will ever encounter, as a man, I think we have no business whatsoever telling women whether they can or should make those decisions. Our role should be to support the decisions that women make about their bodies, and try to make them easier, not harder.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:43 AM

27. Anyone who doesn't completely support choice doesn't belong here.

We shouldn't have to defend abortion here, period. Our choice, our bodies, if you think you have the right to tell us otherwise Free Republic is that way ------>


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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:34 AM

28. Thanks for sharing this story with us

 

It's a shame that more than 30 years later, women in this country still have to fight against such ridiculous laws regarding their body. The War on women rages on.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:30 AM

30. Thank you Kentucky Woman for telling your story



This is a private medical decision. Period. Nobody else gets to be in the middle of that choice but you, your family and your doctor

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 09:09 AM

31. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 10:15 AM

32. Thanks for showing us the truth about abortion

As Anne Gaylor famously said "abortion is a blessing." It certainly saved your life and thousands like you. Last year I heard reports that abortion had reduced crime years later in a number of locations, something you will never hear from the self-righteous (church righteous) who believe fertilized eggs are people. Anti-abortionists are incited to near violence by their clergy who use "religious freedom" as an excuse for criminality. When are we going to realize that the problem is religion.

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Response to es35 (Reply #32)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:54 PM

40. The really hard truth of what happens is that moment when

the fetus is expelled from you body and you look down and realize how developed the fetus already is and understand that it is a matter of saving your life in order to protect the rest of your family from being motherless.

Thank you for this post. Been there. No one has a late term abortion unless it is necessary. It is too hard.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 11:45 AM

36. In 1978 I was already standing up for choice and to this day this man is here to make sure those

 

decision belong to the woman in question and to her alone. Always and no matter what. There is no room for compromise. I will in fact never have to face such a decision, and all I can do is support those who do. And that is exactly what I will do.

Some of the comments on DU the last couple of days have made me furious, and I think those posters should be sent packing, they are the same as the crowds that harass clinics and seek to intimidate their patients.

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Response to Bluenorthwest (Reply #36)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:51 PM

58. Thank YOU for YOUR post.

As a post menopausal woman, I will not face a decision about abortion, but as you illustrate from a man's point of view, the rest of us need to support the freedom of choice. We must stand together and make sure that the radical right does not take away medical decisions from women.

There should be no need for public discussion whatsoever on the topic of abortion because it should be a private decision between a woman and her health care advisor. Anything less is political and absurd.

If there is anyone posting on this board who doesn't support that sentiment, then they are in the wrong place.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:08 PM

37. Your story is heart-wrenching.

My older sister got pregnant at 17 and tried to OD, she was about 12 weeks along - I shared a room with her and for some reason woke up and turned on the lamp next to my bed, saw the bottles of pills near hers and woke up my mom and dad. They got her to the hospital in time but she swore to them she'd keep trying if she had to go through with the pregnancy. I can't even imagine not having her with us now.

No woman should have the absolute right of security of person placed in the hands of anyone other than herself. None of these decisions are made easily. I'm so glad you're here.






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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:36 PM

38. "The most important decision a woman can make is not yours."

Saw that on a bumper sticker & love it.

Here's the thing about the 'right to life' argument - once you put life in a hierarchy, once you state "this life is more important than that life," the argument loses all validity. They are such fucking hypocrites & the fact that so many are men is just creepy & perverted.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 12:48 PM

39. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

It reinforces my belief that safe and legal abortion MUST remain an option in this country, even in the third trimester.

I have never faced a decision like the one you were forced to -- I simply cannot imagine what it must have been like. I am happy you did not have the additional burden of no access to a medical procedure you needed, which would have made an already terrible situation worse.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:33 PM

42. From a male's perspective

The year was 2009. I had just started seeing this girl a few months prior. Senior year of college. We had sex with each other for the first time and she ended up being something like 9 days late. After careful consideration and deliberation, we (she) decided that if a pregnancy test came back positive, we (she) would abort the pregnancy. We were both too young, didn't have much money, and just had too much we wanted to do with our lives at the time without the stress of a child. A PERFECTLY legitimate reason to abort, as is ANY reason. Though we came to this decision together, it was ultimately her that made the decision. To anyone that thinks this is something that you just decide as you're pouring your morning coffee, go pound sand. For most of us logical and compassionate individuals, this is one of the hardest decisions I had to be a part of. The reasons why that particular decision was made is of no one's concern other than those directly involved with it. You are not me. You are not her doctor. You are not living our lives. Go fuck off. I find it funny how these politicians claim to be "pro-God, and pro-life" yet fail to recognize a miscarriage as a "God-induced abortion". I am truly sorry if I offended anyone who HAS miscarried. I was simply trying to illustrate a point.

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Response to bluevoter4life (Reply #42)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:16 PM

47. I found it an easy decision. So did my friends. Not a hard decision at all.

I'm very tired of the "hardest decision of my life" stories. Men don't have to make these decisions. And shouldn't. Their bodies aren't affected.

Men may have to make decisions about whether or not to support a child of theirs that's born. For the most part, women don't really have that choice once they bear a child. If they don't want to live with the guilt of giving the baby away, they're stuck with supporting it.

Men don't get to have a "perspective" on abortion--or shouldn't--just as women don't/shouldn't have a perspective on vasectomies or Viagra. Opinions, yes, but the perspective is all on the person whose body it's affecting.

You sound like a rational person, so I don't mean to finger-wag. I wish I was young enough to live to see the day when men have no say in abortion. (Well, we love the male medical professionals who agree to perform the abortions, but we love the female professionals who do them, too. Medical professionals, of course, should have a say. But not a legal say.) But I'm old now and will die before that day ever comes.

Some of us atheists would hate religion less if it didn't continually keep women second-class citizens. But I guess that's what religion is for anyway.

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Response to valerief (Reply #47)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:25 PM

50. The only reason some people find it a hard decision

is because they've been manipulated into believing abortion is inherently a bad thing.

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Response to Mariana (Reply #50)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 09:32 PM

84. Right. Woman-shamers are assholes. nt

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Response to valerief (Reply #47)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 06:28 PM

71. I agree, the decision was no decision

just a follow up on failed birth control, and the only feeling after was tremendous relief. Mine was a surgical procedure, even in the first trimester, but now, thankfully, most women don't have to face that. If termination of pregnancy can be done medically, any woman should be able to go to her private physician or even an emergency room and get a prescription. The continuation of "abortion clinics" is to stigmatize and shame women and control their decisions. It's nobody's fucking business.

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Response to valerief (Reply #47)


Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 01:44 PM

43. Forced Birthers

It is time we stopped using the term "anti-choice" because it makes their position seem innocuous. Let us call them what they really are - Forced Birthers.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:02 PM

46. Hope to God? It's their "god" that makes them hate this way. nt

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 02:56 PM

48. Sigh. Hugs to KentuckyWoman.

**hugs**

Thank you for your story. You are correct, it is nobody's business.

Choice doesn't mean "choice followed by public justification". It means "choice followed by everyone else can just STFU".

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:10 PM

49. It really infuriates me that she offers up a possible ban

While her surrogates scold women about voting for her. She's already decided who can be victims of one of her potential grand bargains.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:33 PM

52. I make no judgement-I ask no questions

I offer support for women if ever faced with this very personal and very difficult decision.

Our bodies. Our choice. No compromise. Butt out.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:33 PM

53. Thanks for posting.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:35 PM

55. Our reproductive health and decisions

belong NO WHERE in the constitution. We should have the rights to our body and our decisions about our health without needing meddling politicians involving themselves.

Hillary, you had my vote grudgingly if you are the nominee. I have to say, it is going to be damned harder to make myself vote for you now. The one and only reason I had for making myself do something so horrifically against everything else I believe in is pretty much gone. Feminist? Only when it benefits you. Only then, the rest of us can just fucking live with it. No one claiming to support women would ever bargain away ANYTHING having to do with our rights as citizens.

Hugs to you KentuckyWoman. I had an early abortion before it was legal. Not much fun and I certainly did not go get my nails done on the way home. I spent the next week in pain and hiding from my parents.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:38 PM

56. K&R, thank you for speaking KY lady.

I hope to God none of you ever face a decision like that.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 03:44 PM

57. Kentucky Woman...

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 04:11 PM

61. Thank you for your story

 

Hopefully it will convince some folks that the choice should ALWAYS be that between the parties involved, and that government should just stay out of these decisions. They are difficult enough.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 04:51 PM

62. I hear you

My mother was advised by our family doctor to terminate a pregnancy because of the complications she experienced with a previous pregnancy. I remember a meeting in our home with my mother, my father and our parish priest. There weren't any politicians present. Ultimately, she decided to go forward with the pregnancy and thankfully everything work out.

My heart goes out to you for the difficult decision you and your husband had to make. It isn't an easy decision.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:11 PM

63. Too many young women today do not know what it was like before Roe vs Wade

I am shocked at how narrow and unempathetic their view on this issue is.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:22 PM

64. I'm so sorry you went through that experience

 

And I really, really appreciate your closing expression of hope. I think it self evident that is just one of the harder, sadder human experiences. Like you, I don't understand why some people feel compelled to make it even harder. The phrase "banality of evil" comes to mind. Maybe they're evil.

Bright blessings, and thanks for sharing your experience and strength with us.

Trav

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:24 PM

65. A miscarriage is very hard

You didn't give a lot of details, but I know that when my first wife and I were expecting, we didn't hear the heartbeat at 12 to 14 weeks. It could have happened later, much later, given some of the stories I'm reading in this thread. But the loss was tangible. I had just assumed ('cause I was young and inexperienced) that a miscarriage was just something that happened, and obviously the fetus wasn't viable. I wasn't prepared for the depth of grief I experienced, and that was for quite some time.

Thank you for posting. It's a topic a lot of people don't want to wade into, but it needs to be discussed.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)


Response to Post removed (Reply #66)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:42 PM

67. You and your shaming BULLSHIT --

 

make me vomit.

If you read her post closely you would have seen this was done in consultation with her doctor and she was looking at a pregnancy that had the potential to kill her if she took it to full term.

Tough shit that you have a problem with a woman who chose her life over a fetus.

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Response to Hell Hath No Fury (Reply #67)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 07:01 PM

74. Really. Fuck anyone who thinks like that.

Where do these people get the idea that women have late term abortions done on a whim? It's people like that who support total bans on late term abortion. You must carry that fetus to term even if it's likely to permanently harm you or kill you, even if it has zero chance of surviving after birth, hell, even if it's already dead and rotting inside you. No late term abortions ever for any reason.

Fuck that.

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Response to Mariana (Reply #74)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:20 PM

78. That's what pisses me off the most.

So these religious zealots wanted to take my wife and my daughter's mother away just because they don't want a "dead" fetus killed?

You're right. FUCK THAT!

You can read further down about our situation. We were fortunate to be living in CT, but it still had to be done at a hospital that took on more difficult cases. BTW, she is fine, though we never did have another child (or really attempt) after that one.



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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #78)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 02:07 PM

95. these stories make me really not interested in going thru the whole pregnancy hoopla

 

dating guys is tough enough; someone gets rough with you and you're on your own as far as law enforcement is concerned.

those MGTOWs make me laugh, it's women who have no real stake in the status quo.

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Response to Mariana (Reply #74)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 09:12 PM

82. Fuck anyone who thinks like that.

 

Also people who think a fetus is a baby or a child. It is not. It is a fetus. (Just like an infant is not a toddler)

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Response to Hell Hath No Fury (Reply #67)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:25 PM

80. Who the FUCK voted to LEAVE that revolting comment?

 

If ever an 0-7 HIDE was merited, that was it.

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Response to Hell Hath No Fury (Reply #67)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 09:52 AM

90. We've still got DUers shouting "baby killer"?

Not for long, I hope.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:42 PM

68. Have you ever noticed

Repugs fight like hell for the fetus, but once its born, they want no part of caring for it......healthcare, education, anything.

Hugs to you KentuckyWoman from another KY woman.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 05:49 PM

69. Everyone should call PP and Cecile Richards

..and tell her how angry we are for her backing the less-choice candidate.

But at least Richard's daughter has a great job with the Clintons. Everything is so corrupt.

Thank you for sharing your story.



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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 06:41 PM

72. Thank you for telling your story.

 

Everyone should butt out of these gut-wrenching decisions.

Bernie2016 Pro-choice, Pro-privacy, Pro-respect

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 08:13 PM

77. Thank you for your story...

My wife, while not as far along as you were, was told by her doctor that there were dangers by carrying the pregnancy to term. Women MUST have that choice to make medical decision based on all of the information they are given by medical professionals and NOT religious nut jobs who do not understand medicine.

It was a very difficult decision for her (and me), but it was HER decision. I supported her all the way. We also knew that if it did become life threatening, our daughter might lose her mother at a very young age.

There are so many variations on this that it really pisses me off when families and women, in particular, are not being allowed to make medical decisions without the interference of religious nut jobs.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 09:26 PM

83. Thank you everyone.

Many of you have added similar stories to the thread, which is what I hoped for. Whatever else happens in the future this thread will stand as a testament.

Thank you.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 10:19 PM

85. People need to be in control of their own bodies. Not strangers.

The fucking rationalizations people make to be in charge of the decisions others make.. Dont they have enough on their plate running their own lives?

Its not my place to make that call because its not my body. I dont know better than you what factors went into your decision.

But no, the control freaks need to be in charge of of everyone else. Its even worse when they claim to be progressive.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Mar 8, 2016, 11:18 PM

86. I had one around the same time.

I was in a horrible marriage, 22, had two young son's & got pregnant with an iud.
Hugs.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 12:01 AM

87. You are a very...

Courageous lady. Thank you for sharing such an emotional story.

I am very much for a woman's right to choice. In my honest opinion people who are "pro life / anti-abortion" are some of the most self serving people I have ever met. I certainly have not met all the people who feel that way but the ones I have met and discussed this with strike me as being that type of person.

The reason I say they are self serving is because it costs nothing to have an anti-abortion position. They maybe spent a little bit of time protesting at a clinic or "defending" the defenseless (as they like to put it) but that is as far as they go. The process of doing this does nothing but boost their ego and make them feel morally superior to others which is self serving to their own feelings/emotions.

None that I have had this debate with has ever invested real time or money in a boys or girls club as a big brother or big sister or spent time with children in foster or state care or even children's hospital. Most do not even know what The Shriners organization is or what it does.

As person who grew up in foster care and needed multiple surgeries as child due to bad choices my mother made when she was pregnant I do donate time and money. I always ask when having this debate with a person who is anti abortion to come with me on a Saturday or Sunday for a couple hours just to go and spent time with children starting out life in a very rough way and let them know that they are not alone in this world, that people do care about them and in the process maybe bring a smile or two to a child's face but none ever do. I really have no respect for a person who will tell a woman what to do with their baby but disappear once the child is born. As I said I have not met all anti abortion people but the ones I have met are what I describe above.

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Response to deathrind (Reply #87)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 12:41 PM

93. I have a born-again "christian" friend --

 

from grammar/high school who is much like that. She is so extreme that she is against abortion even in the case of the mother's life. We got into a discussion about how abortion rates could be brought down, and I sited studies that talk about availability of birth control and solid sex education being two things that are proven to reduce unplanned pregnancies and subsequent abortions. Her response, of course, was that she is 100% against birth control and that she is also against any sex education but abstinence. And of course, she was adamantly against having any of her tax dollars go to PP and wants cuts to "welfare" and recipients tested.

I reminded her how well no birth control and abstinence went at our Catholic school, where we had several girls get pregnant and have babies, other girls get pregnant and have abortions (including one of our closest friends), and how she herself (along with half our class) was sexually active despite being taught she was sinning against God for doing so.

A perfect example of the type of person who is against abortion but completely unwilling to do the things that actually reduce abortions or help pay for the aftermath of an unplanned pregnancy.

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Response to Hell Hath No Fury (Reply #93)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 10:39 PM

97. I have yet to meet a born again that was right in the head.

I'm not saying there aren't any, just that I've not met any. The mental gymnastics required to justify born again doctrine are so massive that I can understand why it twists a person into knots.

When a born again type pontificates to me on pretty much anything I tend to just let it bounce right on through because I've learned from experience their judgement simply cannot be trusted.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Wed Mar 9, 2016, 10:52 PM

98. But, we have faced those decisions! Many, many women for too long...

And, some of us know too well how painful medical decisions may take us down that road. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

They have NO RIGHT to make decisions about women's bodies and rule our lives with those kind of decisions. The hell isn't bad enough, but to endure the decisions born out of draconian laws over our bodies.

Thank you for bringing it up. This must END.

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