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Mon Jan 4, 2016, 08:56 PM

 

Oregon Lunatics Send Desperate Plea For Snacks And Socks — See The Internet’s Hilarious Reaction

Oregon lunatics don’t seem very prepared to take on government…

Saturday, domestic terrorists from various militia groups entered federal land and took control of a federal building…on a bird sanctuary…because reasons.

The leader of the pack, Ammon Bundy, son of Cliven Bundy from the Nevada BLM standoff told the media the group was willing to die trying to achieve their objective — stealing land from the government — and planned on being on the property for YEARS if it came to that. Ammon is also joined by his brothers Mel and Ryan.

Also, on the property is Jon Ritzheimer, the infamous shithead known for his armed protests outside of mosques. He sent a tearful “goodbye” video to his wife and kids ahead of the occupation on federal land — which is hilarious — but he also recently sent out a plea for things the men should have brought ahead of usurping a government building in freezing temperatures.

Blaine Cooper has been relaying the group’s messages to social media:

The Oregon lunatics need snacks. pic.twitter.com/YnAOM3hPQk

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

Also in a separate post, Ritzheimer asked for:

Things we could use:
cold weather socks
snacks
energy drinks
equipment for cold weather
snow camo
gear
anything you think will help.

Thank you all for the support

So let’s get this straight. These guys, who plan to stay on the refuge for years if need be, traveled to a remote location in the dead of winter and are in short supply of warm clothes, Redbulls, and snacks? Oh, this is too great.

Obviously, the internet was also equally pleased.

"We don't want your money." *Translation: "Please send money." pic.twitter.com/mhpqcYdtqh

— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) January 3, 2016

.@imraansiddiqi Well,this should teach them 2 pack more cheezy poofs next time they break into a wildlife refuge and threaten to kill people

— twoOneSix (@TwoOneSix216) January 4, 2016

@imraansiddiqi my mom cooked hella pallau and chalau last night. Think they'd be ok w/ afghan food?

— Wagma Mommandi (@wagmamommandi) January 3, 2016

@imraansiddiqi @EllenDatlow They want snacks? Send them Cocoa Puffs. They're obviously cuckoo!

— Aaron Smith (@AaronSmith377) January 3, 2016

The response on Facebook was also hilarious:

“Energy drinks. Of course.”

“It takes a really special kind of idiot to try to protest the federal government while asking people to send you stuff through the USPS.”

“Wow, for Militia, you sure went in totally unprepared. OathKeepers have made a public statement regarding your situation.”

“You clowns are like a child who ran away with only a jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of Ritz. Grow up, kids.”

“Lolol anti-government militia using a government service (US Mail) to beg for supplies.. Which they didn’t bring to begin with because they’re idiots with no common sense”

“Waitaminit. You yahoos decide to take over a federal building in the hopes of fomenting governmental overthrow…but you forgot to bring snacks and toilet paper? Okay, then.”

Thank you, internet!

http://reverbpress.com/news/us/oregons-domestic-terrorists-send-desperate-plea-for-snacks-response-from-muslims-hilarious/

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:03 PM

1. I thought I read that

this "protest" had been planned for some time. So, how is it big tough guys need civilians to send them snacks? And cold weather socks? WT FLYING F? What a bunch o' losers.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:16 PM

4. And using USPS???? LOL!

 

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Response to Photographer (Reply #4)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:21 PM

9. Irony meter has been incinerated. nt

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Response to Lucky Luciano (Reply #9)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:29 PM

18. They may have put The Onion out of business n/t

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Response to sarge43 (Reply #18)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:27 PM

89. They're stealing the Onion's material. I love reposting this, my all-time favorite Onion article:

 

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

-snip-

http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he-imagines-c-2849







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Response to arcane1 (Reply #89)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:22 AM

108. That is, indeed, hilarious, but my all-time

favorite Onion headline and article is still this one: "Christian Scientist Pharmacist Refuses to Fill Any Prescriptions". It perfectly skewered the idiot pharmacists who try to substitute their own beliefs for the educated medical judgment of their customers' physicians and who think they should still be paid for refusing to do their damned jobs.

And these militia terrorist yahoos sound a lot like them.

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Response to arcane1 (Reply #89)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 09:54 AM

156. "At last, our long nightmare of peace and prosperity is over."

This was the title to an Onion article published in January 2001.
Yes, that is right, the month that George W. Bush took office, The Onion foretold his entire 8-year administration with a single line.

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Response to Cassidy (Reply #156)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:56 PM

177. That one is my favorite, too.....nt

 

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Response to msanthrope (Reply #177)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:59 PM

198. Not political...but my all time fave is:

 

Collectable Plate Industry Calls For Tragic Death of Barbra Streisand

This was a while after Lady Di collectable plates were available. The article says they just aren't selling as well anymore. Streisand's agent was considering it....

too funny!

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Response to arcane1 (Reply #89)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:55 PM

197. This is my fave:

 

"Dad's great, but listening to all that talk radio has put some weird ideas into his head," said daughter Samantha, a freshman at Reed College in Portland, OR. "He believes the Constitution allows the government to torture people and ban gay marriage, yet he doesn't even know that it guarantees universal health care."

I love how they gently skewer both sides.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:02 PM

39. And they love to quote the 2nd Amendment

Not the first clause though that mentions "a well regulated militia", not a bunch of unorganized bozos who can't even remember to bring food and cold weather gear in the dead of winter.

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Response to brush (Reply #39)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:27 PM

88. Perhaps they had to wait for their gub'mint checks to come before they could buy supplies.

This really is hysterical.

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Response to dflprincess (Reply #88)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:40 AM

125. Okay, I can not read any more of these comments!

Thanks a lot!

Your guys' hilarious comments are making me leave this thread. (I've woken up everyone in the house with my LOL'ing).

p.s. I'll be back tomorrow to read the rest. HA!

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Response to dflprincess (Reply #88)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 06:50 PM

216. Exactly what one of them who wasn't there posted online, bro's I'm sorry, waiting on the fed check

Ohh the irony, late for the overthrow because the postman didn't bring the gubermint check in time.

Should I look it up? It is a meme on Twitter under #OregonUnderAttack
[center]
Oregon Militiamen Mocked on Twitter





Adam Osborn
Couple hundred white terrorists and only few dozen IQ points among them #YallQaeda #YeeHawd


The Independent
'#YallQaeda' don't plan siege very well, put out desperate call for snacks, chewing tobacco http://i100.io/MWold8B

#GotSnacks?

meetgolfers ‏
@Independent this is a inbreeding success story
Mia McPherson
@Independent they need snacks, today is the day of the #YallQaedaSnackAttack

Andrew ‏@milesandtime
They're hungry. Please help. #YallQaeda #YeeHawdists


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Response to brush (Reply #39)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:23 AM

151. Who regulates militias?

Although wingnuts have claimed well-regulated means they should have training and excellent aim

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Response to IronLionZion (Reply #151)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:26 AM

167. The state/president (Article 2, Section 2, Clause 1 of the Constitution)

Last edited Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:18 PM - Edit history (1)

The authors of the Bill of Rights intended that militias/citizen armies, were raised and maintained at the behest of state governing bodies whenever needed as they themselves were against standing armies after having witnessed what powerful standing armies had wrought in Europe.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:09 AM

135. REAL MEN would live off the land

Some rat skin socks, some squirrel meat, and if necessary, a little sodomy and cannibalism (survival of the fittest, after all) and these stalwart pioneer men should do quite nicely.

Hell, weren't they ever in Boy Scouts? Eat some berries, boil some tree bark, melt some snow, experiment with some mushrooms (they won't all kill you), huddle together to conserve body heat. You've got guns, can't you shoot some rabbits? Man up, men!

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Response to Midnight Writer (Reply #135)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:08 AM

143. And then, you could elect Bernie or Hillary and make sure your

country doesn't become a dictatorship. Obama has held it down as long and his term can do, the rest is up to you.

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Response to Midnight Writer (Reply #135)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:21 AM

166. I predict that the biggest problem will be lack of TP.

No leaves in winter!

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Response to Nitram (Reply #166)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:03 PM

200. No leaves in winter!

 

Isn't poison sumac evergreen?

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #200)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:30 PM

209. Ouch!

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Response to Nitram (Reply #209)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:48 PM

210. Ouch!

 

I looked it up after I made the joke. (I look up everything)

Sumac is the most toxic of the Ivy... Oak.... Sumac poisoned trio. But alas, it is native to...yes wet lands and swamps.... but in the South East, so it may be too cold for it in OR.

Oh well.... they're back to using birch bark.....

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:10 AM

136. "Lawyers, guns, and money" would be a manly request

Sockies, Red Bull, and candy is not.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:38 AM

140. They'te just tryng to be inclusive

 

You know... All the ways people can participate, like sending care packages to soldiers...

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:50 PM

196. And cold weather socks?

 

I'll send them some warm weather socks and Hawaiian shirts....


y'know, in case they're still there this summer.....

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #1)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 05:55 PM

214. Don't forget the guy who couldn't be there because his SSDI check didn't arrive!

 

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:06 PM

2. Send them Winter Camo! When these idiots get lost, they won't be found until Spring thaw! nt

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Reply #2)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:36 AM

139. Perhaps Ted Nugent


can be dropped in to show them all how to survive the cold wearing warm feces.



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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:10 PM

3. Damn..taht is hysterical!

Big tuff self reliant gun toting man babies.
Minus any planning skills..

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Response to dixiegrrrrl (Reply #3)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:49 PM

29. Oops, we didn't know it was gonna snow and be cold! n/t

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Response to RKP5637 (Reply #29)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:32 AM

124. And they left the wimmen behind, so who's gonna cook for them?



I am really surprised Palin has not shown up there.

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Response to dixiegrrrrl (Reply #124)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:23 AM

159. Exactly! It reminds me of the Bob the Angry Flower cartoon strip where

the Ayn Rand activist flowers go off to Galt's Gulch in a huff, forgetting to bring all the servants. Ooops.

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Response to Nay (Reply #159)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:33 AM

170. How could I have possible lived this log without knowing about Bob?

Just found the site, am laffing now.

thanks....

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Response to dixiegrrrrl (Reply #170)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:41 PM

180. Bob is the shiznitz, ain't he?? The Ayn Rand one is my absolute favorite.

I'm glad to have introduced you to a delightful cartoon.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:16 PM

5. The armed-to-the-teeth Bundy & Co. Terrorists are NOT "Oregonians", they're interlopers

 

unwanted by 95% of the local citizens. Please don't call them "Oregon" lunatics .. most are
from Nevada or elsewhere.

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Response to 99th_Monkey (Reply #5)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:18 PM

6. Oregon is only where these dolts are hanging their hats at the moment and it's not aimed at the good

 

citizens of thgat state.

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Response to Photographer (Reply #6)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:42 PM

24. Like i said, they are INTERLOPERS who virtually NO Oregonians want to be here.

 

Your suggestions otherwise are wildly off-the-mark.

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Response to 99th_Monkey (Reply #24)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:46 PM

26. I have not said a thing disparaging the citizens of Oregon.

 

Only the idjits Bundy et. al.

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Response to 99th_Monkey (Reply #24)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:56 PM

32. Oh don't kid yourself

 

Oregon is full of white supremacist gun nut militia guys. It was founded as a white supremacist state. It has had strong klan and neo-Nazi groups for years.

Sorry, not buying the "innocent locals" line. Eastern Oregon is militia country big time.

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Response to rjsquirrel (Reply #32)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:39 AM

141. It sure represents a mix



Always best to stay west of the cascades. But there are enclaves there as well.


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Response to Photographer (Reply #6)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:27 PM

50. perhaps you could change the title to "idiot invaders in oregon"

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Response to niyad (Reply #50)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:43 PM

58. This is a linked story and headline. I didn't write it and feel that if I changed it

 

some would feel misled if they clicked on the link.

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Response to Photographer (Reply #58)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:43 PM

59. of course.

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Response to 99th_Monkey (Reply #5)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:58 PM

33. Nonegonians

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Response to 99th_Monkey (Reply #5)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:12 PM

46. you bet

 

Make sure everyone understands that these idiots are not Oregonians...

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:19 PM

7. Well regulated militia -- FAIL

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:20 PM

8. "The Entire DVD set of 7th Heaven?"

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #8)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:53 PM

30. How about an Ice-T CD set!

 

Kind of fitting for the weather, and would serve as fuel for their racist tendencies...

I made the mistake just trying to drive to the eastern side of Portland yesterday, not just the eastern side of Oregon and it was a five hour effort in futility where the ice won in the end.

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Response to cascadiance (Reply #30)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:18 PM

48. They probably brought

"Birth of a Nation" with them. That will keep them busy for several hours.

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Response to Stryder (Reply #48)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:54 PM

64. Did They Ask For White Hoods And Crosses, and Torches?

 

Are you sure?

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Response to Stryder (Reply #48)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:11 PM

202. They probably brought "Birth of a Nation" with them.

 

They ain't watchin' no old black & white movie!!!!!


How about "Left Behind".... which they think is about a liberal ass....

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #202)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 08:55 PM

220. They should watch the documentary series...

'Why We Fight' (Frank Cappra) made to get the American people behind the allied effort in WWII.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLue4rhsHxp6-h5AO9Az-gdo7sq_m5roBm

Clearly they're misguided about why we fight.

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Response to Blanks (Reply #220)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 09:09 PM

222. 'Why We Fight' (Frank Cappra)

 

Is it in color?

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #222)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:29 PM

224. Is that important? They're black and white. eom

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Response to Blanks (Reply #224)

Wed Jan 6, 2016, 10:41 PM

225. Is that important?

 

A joke.

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #225)

Wed Jan 6, 2016, 11:29 PM

227. Have you watched them? eom

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #8)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:59 PM

199. What would they watch it on with no electricity?

They can use the discs as target practice maybe?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:22 PM

10. Is it wrong if I kind of want to send them one pair of socks

 

Size-Newborn.

Note attached: Since you guys are being a bunch of crybabies, here are some socks for you. Didn't know your size, hope they fit.

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Response to Travis_0004 (Reply #10)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:38 PM

22. Maybe some diapers or those little boy briefs with superheroes on them.

How pathetic is this?

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #22)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:55 PM

66. They will be needing diapers if the heat is cut and the toilets freeze. What a bunch of seditious

idiots...

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:23 PM

11. I can supply

homemade lutefisk and six bags of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears...

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Response to sarisataka (Reply #11)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:38 PM

21. Oh dear! This Norwegian hopes it's lutefisk!

Inedible fish jello, cured in lye!

But without power, how will they bake it? Plus, they won't know to soak the lye out of it before baking it to its disgusting gelatinous consistency.

I agree! Send them lutefisk. Maybe they could use it as a weapon.

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Response to sarisataka (Reply #11)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:55 PM

31. I've read the Amazon reviews for those Sugar-free gummy bears

Where do I chip in so I can send a 5-lb bag

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Response to LynneSin (Reply #31)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:14 PM

73. Are four enough? Are six too many?




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Response to longship (Reply #73)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:20 PM

82. Never too many sugar free gummy bears for Vanilla Isis

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Response to sarisataka (Reply #11)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:38 AM

115. Hey, I read about those Haribo Gummies and they should be classified as toxic warfare.

The Amazon comments were .....

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:24 PM

12. Funny, because yesterday people were claiming these guys were crack survivalists with MREs, etc.

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Response to Starry Messenger (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:06 AM

100. I'm guessing that MEAL Team 6 already ate the MREs

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Response to Submariner (Reply #100)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:32 AM

112. ...

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Response to Submariner (Reply #100)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:10 AM

126. Rawr!

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Response to Submariner (Reply #100)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 08:51 AM

153. I think that's Meal Team 6, 7, 8 and 9.

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Response to Submariner (Reply #100)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:53 PM

189. Heh. +1 n/t

 

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Response to Starry Messenger (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:16 AM

103. Ridicule has taken over.

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Response to L. Coyote (Reply #103)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:05 AM

119. It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that stupidity is a crime!

But, they sure are pushing the envelope.

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Response to Fuddnik (Reply #119)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:01 AM

148. Stupidity may not be a crime

but what those morons are doing is a crime, and need to be locked up.

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Response to Starry Messenger (Reply #12)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:35 AM

113. Well... I'm one of those who

suggested that they probably had enough food in them trailers they brung with them!

I stand corrected and happily so! This is far more entertaining! Who knew these guys would give us so much material for mockery?

I have to say that the comment about not bringing enough cheezy poofs is where I lost it.


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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:24 PM

13. They couldn't say "FedEx or UPS" the supplies instead of MAIL us the goods?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:27 PM

14. Send Vanilla ISIS chocolate Ex Lax.

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Response to LynneSin (Reply #34)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:30 PM

52. oh. my.word!!!! must order some of these-"I have a little list. . . "

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Response to niyad (Reply #52)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:14 PM

72. They might be sweetened with mannitol.

Last edited Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:46 PM - Edit history (1)

I once chomped down a whole package of breath mints sweetened with that stuff, just because they tasted so good. As I was driving home from work, i had to release the waistband on my skirt because I bloated up so badly. It hurt like hell. Poking a large bore needle thru my abdominal wall to release the pressure would have felt better that waiting for it to "take its course."

eta - make that sorbitol. I knew mannitol didn't sound right.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #72)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:23 PM

85. oh my word, how utterly awful for you!

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Response to niyad (Reply #85)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:38 AM

114. Yup. Sorbitol. I have just laughed my way...

...thru the first 4 pages of reviews of these gummi bears. Seems that many, many people have experienced the intestinal distress and loss of control. I laughed so hard I almost experienced loss of bladder control.

One of the funniest suggestions was substituting the gummi bears for the per-ccolonoscopy cleansing prep. It could definitely work, and would at least taste better going down.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #114)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:10 PM

174. a most excellent idea!

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Response to LynneSin (Reply #34)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:21 PM

206. These reviews....

 

..... buck up my confidence in mankind.

My fave:

"Customers who bought this also bought:
Pepto-Bismol
4 pack of baby wipes
Stomach pump
Air Freshener
Coffee straws
Gatorade
Bullets"

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Response to muntrv (Reply #14)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:06 AM

120. And Graham Crackers and marshmallows.

They can shit s'more.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:27 PM

15. Laughter is the best medicine.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:27 PM

16. Lets send them boxes of dog crap. nt

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Response to Quixote1818 (Reply #16)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:32 PM

53. now, why would we want to expose the postal carriers to that?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:29 PM

17. Do they really expect a letter carrier ...

... to come within range of their weapons?

... or will they be coming to collect those provisions from the post office?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:33 PM

19. How 'bout some nice snow cone syrup?




You clowns might enjoy that while you're standing around a campfire in sub-freezing temps.




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Response to Photographer (Reply #20)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:15 PM

74. Tamron Hall referred to them as 'citizen activists' this morning. nt

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:39 PM

23. Please tell me they are not allowed to receive supplies?

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #23)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:35 PM

55. doesn't seem right to expect the USPS to help them with their pathetic efforts

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:54 PM

63. I cannot believe they should be allowed to receive anything since they are illegally

occupying property.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:01 PM

68. we could deliver some stuff by drone

no need to put usps, fedex or ups to risk

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Response to dembotoz (Reply #68)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:09 AM

121. I'd suggest a Hellfire Missile.

But this is funnier than the Daily Show.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:09 PM

71. That carrier's oath only mentions heat, snow, rain, and gloom of night

So I think the postal carriers wouldn't feel obliged to deliver to a pack of overgrown spoiled brats.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:19 PM

77. I say they can stay if they clean up bird poop.

 

Do something productive for winter socks, those things don't grow on trees.

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Response to Skittles (Reply #55)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:33 AM

161. As a former USPS worker, I can tell you all that NO mail carrier is required to

deliver mail in dangerous situations. So, no, there will be no USPS deliveries to this place.

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #23)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:29 AM

111. Local RV park sent them chili, so I called them...

 

I generally don't get in peoples' faces, but I'm so done with the tea baggers/sovereign citizens/miltia whackjobs.

So when one of the articles mentioned that Ron Gainer, owner of a local RV park, had delivered them chili, I googled him and found his phone number. The lady who answered the phone (I used the 800 number, to cost them that extra 50 cents) said that Mr. Gainer was "unavailable." I tried to be as polite as possible, but I think she took exception to me asking her why she was delivering food to an armed insurgency against the U.S. government. Actually, yes, she got a bit upset, so I started feeling guilty.

Until she said she had a right to make a profit selling them her food.

Well, I told her she should probably find good legal representation, since according to U.S. anti-terrorism laws, she could probably be found guilty of aiding and abetting. Assuming, of course, that the Feds do arrest the Bundy clan.

I apologized for taking up her time, and politely ended the call.

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Response to Ned Flanders (Reply #111)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:59 AM

173. good for you! well done.

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Response to Ned Flanders (Reply #111)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:45 PM

176. "she got a bit upset"


Tough shit.

They obviously wanted the publicity of having supplied these domestic terrorists, or they wouldn't have been mentioned in the paper.

If they think people have a "right" to take over a wildlife refuge, then I hardly see why they should be upset that someone would like to speak to them about it and share their opinion of it.

People also deserve to be aware of businesses that support domestic terrorism:

---
http://www.narrowsrvpark.com/

Your hosts, Ron and Linda Gainer, will ensure you receive the finest in Western hospitality.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/01/03/armed-militia-bundy-brothers-take-over-federal-building-in-rural-oregon/

Ron Gainer, the owner of a nearby RV park who dropped off some chili for the occupiers, told the broadcaster that he counted about 15 people, a half-dozen vehicles and a trailer at the site.
--------

I couldn't give two shits if she "got a bit upset". Fuck those people sideways.

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #23)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:54 PM

190. One hopes that the pizza delivery kids are intercepted at the police checkpoint. n/t

 

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:42 PM

25. Considering there is no Law Enforcement in place people could ship them an M1 tank.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:46 PM

27. Those are great! I'd tweet: GET A JOB, YA BUMS! Because they think they're so special... n/t

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 09:48 PM

28. maybe the feds could offer them catering?

dumb. fucks.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:00 PM

35. Let them stay ...


but since they are occupying a federal building, I do not think it is unreasonable to charge them for staying there. $50 per person per night seems fair. I would also send a food truck up there and sell them $50 hamburgers.

Cheers
Drifter

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Response to Drifter (Reply #35)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:33 PM

54. excellent plan.

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Response to Drifter (Reply #35)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:36 AM

152. No cut off all city services like Philly did to the Move members years ago cut off water, electric

heat They even had children there. Remember seeing the Quakers cross the police lines to bring them food. No mail. Freeze them out.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:01 PM

36. As of today there was nobody blocking access and they were coming and going

to the Wal-Mart in Burns. What...no socks or redbull or snacks at Wal-Mart?

And snacks? You asked for snacks and redbull? I thought you were tough survival dudes and you want snacks on your camping trip? And you think you guys are going to last for years? OMG,that is hysterical.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #36)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:11 PM

45. I miss the good ol days when warriors

ate concertina wire and pissed napalm.

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Response to elmac (Reply #45)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:25 PM

87. That is hilarious!

Thank you for the best laugh of the night.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #87)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:26 AM

109. Your welcome,

have a good night.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #36)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:17 PM

76. There doesn't seem to be a Walmart in Burns, Oregon

There is one in Ontario, Oregon, nearly 100 miles from Burns and 160 miles from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

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Response to csziggy (Reply #76)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:05 AM

99. sorry, I should have linked to the video I saw of them talking about it

Cause I might be wrong. Maybe they said Safeway, or maybe they said Wal-Mart, but meant Safeway. I thought I saw it on Oregon Live but I might have seen it somewhere else. I usually do links but there have been so many damned stories on this now I'm just spinning.

It was a few of the militants talking and I think it wasn't even to news, but to social media. Maybe it wasn't even a video, maybe it was a facebook post or something. Sorry...my bad.

I'm too wrapped up in this reality TV show...because I live in Oregon, and I hate to see this happening in our state. Although parts of the state are like a whole different state...red as can be.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #99)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:58 AM

117. I had seen/heard other references to these guys getting stuff from Walmart

So it's not just you. I was just curious if a town as small as Burns might have a Walmart and looked it up.

It was not intended as a criticism of any comment you made. My husband had said something about it earlier so it seems to be a pretty wide spread rumor.

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Response to csziggy (Reply #117)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:22 AM

128. Oh it's OK,and it's good to know it's not just me that heard or read it.

Most of these guys probably shop at Wal-Mart at home, so maybe it just slipped out.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #99)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:29 PM

179. Wal-Mart has been putting in mini stores branded Wal-Mart but they are like a Dollar General in size

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:02 PM

37. Fox heroes, pathetic children.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:02 PM

38. <3 twitter people

The comment on Afghan food was precious

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:06 PM

40. I can ship them an old birdwatching book, half empty book of matches,

John Wayne movie on Betamax, and some really scratchy institutional toilet paper.

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Response to Snarkoleptic (Reply #40)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:05 AM

150. Thrown in a couple of duck calls from Duck Dynasty

and you have a revolution!

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:08 PM

41. Cheese doodle warriors.

What a gaggle of idiots.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:09 PM

42. White socks and white cheddar popcorn for all!

 

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:09 PM

43. As the saying goes:

Too funny for words.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:10 PM

44. Snow camo?

You gonna sneak out the back door?
While the FBI is having lunch maybe.
Declaring YeeHawd for sure.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:12 PM

47. I'll trade 'em Socks for Guns.

Fuck that worthless dirty corrupt gubmint money. Let's barter like big boys!

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:25 PM

49. hmmm, socks with smallpox, water with e coli or giardia, snacks with salmonella,

cold weather gear with. . . and so on. .

works for me.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:28 PM

51. "equipment for cold weather:

morons.

Like I said in another thread, the feds don't have to do a thing, just given this morons a month and they will destroy themselves.

just block all the road access to the site and nature will do the rest.

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Response to Javaman (Reply #51)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:05 AM

98. Ignore them and bill them for the inevitable mess they'll leave behind

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Response to Javaman (Reply #51)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:20 AM

127. 'Equipment for cold weather' LOL

Ummm yes. Because Oregon. in fucking JANUARY derpyderpDERPderp...

Youre right Feds need to cut power and access and let them all freeze to death.

The FBI post-event press conference will be 3 sentences:

"Winter is Coming. Thank you all for being here today. God bless America."

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:39 PM

56. We should all send condoms with a note that reads "please don't reproduce."

That's a small investment for the greater good.


The address is at the tweet.

https://twitter.com/imraansiddiqi/status/683764510662901760/photo/1

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:40 PM

57. Heat will be a problem sooner or later,

the only heat must be from propane. Eventually the tanks will run low. I'm also predicting an acute shortage of toilet paper. Plumbing will be a problem if the electricity is cut off.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:43 PM

60. Thanks. I needed the laugh.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:45 PM

61. Close the gate and close the park.

Then, if they leave and try to get back in, arrestn them for trespassing.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:46 PM

62. Mallet & bag of sand.

See if they take the hint.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 10:55 PM

65. Well I never woulda thought

that I would ever laugh my ass off at the thought of someone being cold and hungry.

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Response to Kalidurga (Reply #65)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:42 PM

94. And I never woulda thought

I'd laugh my ass off at someone laughing their ass off at the thought of someone being cold and hungry...

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:00 PM

67. These guys have a valid claim to trademark the term "idiot." nt

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:04 PM

69. This building is completely sealed and surrounded, right?

I certainly hope that these nutjob terrorists are actually unable to receive care packages.

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Response to Tarc (Reply #69)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:20 PM

79. As of noon today CNN was doing live reports from the location

So the "occupied" site is not sealed at all.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:06 PM

70. Here's something else they need...

 

[link:|

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:17 PM

75. So they hijack a bird sanctuary and now need socks?

 

Are they feeding these animals? It is amazing the lack of worry to government property I hear the usual suspects crying about in the news. Are they stupid?

Stupid domestic terrorists crying about the govt oppressing Moses and slavery or bird poop? I read there is a brigade of TVEE cars there...what are their demands?

Socks for bird poop cleanup? Are they going to let people in there to take care of the birds? The GOP morans are coming unhinged, Glenn Beck can be heard slobbering all the way to Oregon.



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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:20 PM

78. Damn pretend soldiers!

They have problems and they are armed.

Let them eat their guns.

Pussy assed tough guys, welcome to reality based life!

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Response to SCVDem (Reply #78)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:47 PM

95. Nothing like the good ole days of the Great War!


Longing for the days of old, here is a picture of that event...



Not trying to be heartless here, there is time to admit the planning was flawed.

/

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Response to SCVDem (Reply #78)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 09:04 AM

154. Yup. Video games and real world: Not the same thing, idiots. n/t

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:20 PM

80. Hosiery for hosers

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:20 PM

81. Wait, we were supposed to bring gear?

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Response to AwakeAtLast (Reply #81)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:51 AM

142. Gear...

what kind of gear? Gear for what?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:22 PM

83. Empty tummies and cold tootsies can...

...make life pretty miserable.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:22 PM

84. I have the sense that the "leaders" of these idiots

were out at a bar right before this happened trying to prove "Quien es Mas Macho" (the SNL game show from way back)

And when they woke up and their hangovers wore off they realized they were in a building in the middle of a bird sanctuary.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:24 PM

86. Instead of doing laundry I can send my dirty socks to them, I will make sure they are extra smelly

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:29 PM

90. My heroes - The Mythbusters would outlast them all with a single roll of duct tape.

Pussies!

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:35 PM

91. I thought about it for about five minutes earlier today

And one of the things I considered if I were to occupy a remote location would be to buy some of those emergency freeze dried food supplies. At Costco you can get one year supply for one person for just under $1000 that includes two water barrels.

But then if these guys are relying on their government aid checks to make ends meet, they can't afford to actually buy supplies, can they?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:39 PM

92. I volunteer some Ex-Lax...

...but they're way too full of shit!

PEACE!

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:40 PM

93. sounds like Hitlers Russian excursion

...it'll be over before winter
won't need winter equipment
what ever


oops

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:54 PM

96. Don't firgit the pork rinds, Rollin Rock and lip balm. Especially don't firgit the hemorrhoid creme

and TP

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Mon Jan 4, 2016, 11:59 PM

97. Not prepared for 3 days

let alone years. I know little children who go to the playground better prepared.

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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #97)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:19 AM

105. 3 days. Didn't Fox News mock people in New Orleans for not being prepared

?

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Response to underpants (Reply #105)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:53 AM

163. I think they did

People in New Orleans were trapped in an unplanned disaster. The idiots in Oregon put themselves in the position they are in.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:09 AM

101. Who the phuck plans a terrorist siege for years and forgets to bring some phuckin food?

Dumb shits

The Yallqaeda tweets will have you laughing til you cry.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:10 AM

102. From my twitter feed

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:18 AM

104. The revolution will take a pause due to lack of toilet paper.

"We are ready to die fighting the gub'mint, but you expect us to go a week without some ultra-soft Charmin?"

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:20 AM

106. They are Utah and Nevada lunatics, NOT Oregonians. We want to deport them

but i think they are cherry picking Oregon for the nice prisons full of white people.

[center]?1451863542

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Response to L. Coyote (Reply #106)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:25 PM

186. I wish you were right but

There are supposed to be some Oregonian militants out there too...maybe not, but they asked them to come. Oregon has some of these nuts too.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:21 AM

107. K&R

What a pack of dumbfucks.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:26 AM

110. The gift shop wasn't extensively stocked as they had assumed

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:48 AM

116. Did they run out of smores flavored schnapps?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:59 AM

118. no USPS delivery for them!

Surely the federal employees filed change of address forms when they closed the office. Their cheese puffs will probably go to an office in Portland. They better brace for the socks, red bull and cheese puffs on their way!

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:24 AM

122. Well, they had snacks at Valley Forge didn't they?... n/t

 

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Response to 63splitwindow (Reply #122)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:36 AM

132. your post make me think that this whole hilarious affair

is going to end up being grist for the South Park mill.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:30 AM

123. This is hilarious, but recall that OWS similarly disorganized (and derided) in its first days.

 

I hope it will fizzle and be wrapped up in court, but other people share this group's anti-establishment ideals.

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Response to anigbrowl (Reply #123)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 05:29 PM

212. OWSers should demand that these wanna-be-Rambos....

.... get jobs.

===============

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Response to anigbrowl (Reply #123)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 08:59 PM

221. OWS took over Federal lands and buildings? Gosh, I didn't know that n/t

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Response to kcr (Reply #221)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 09:22 PM

223. Please do not put words in my mouth, which is a dishonest thing to do.

 

All I pointed out was that the first OWS folks also sent out tweets about stuff they needed and people mocked them for it. Look it up yourself - you might have to scroll down a few times but I got right back to the beginning of OWS within seconds: https://twitter.com/hashtag/needsoftheoccupiers

It does not mean that I think the guys in Oregon are justified or that they are just like OWS, as you well know. My point was that many people did not take OWS seriously at first either, and underestimated the seriousness of the participants.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:25 AM

129. Another proof of the "loony tunes" status

Aamond Bundy says God told him to do this.

Not in those words, but basically that's what he's saying and that he knows what God is thinking.

Here is a video of him explaining this. I almost couldn't stand to watch the whole thing, but I did.

&feature=youtu.be

Now my biggest question is, if they want people to join them, why are they not laying out the facts, that they believe happened, and the constitutional writings that are being broken by not stopping the law from arresting, bringing to trial and sentencing people who break the law. He refuses to talk about the fact that the Hammonds and the Bundys broke the law and that it's the government that is wrong, not them.

SO you get pablum with a big scoop of God and patriotism and please please please come and help us...it's the right thing to do. Oh, and don't forget...bring snacks. (just kidding about the snacks)

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #129)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:04 AM

134. Oh noes

there is another thread now where NPR is reporting that the militants have said if the town of Burns asks them to leave they will.

Wooops! I guess God changed his mind.


Message from town:

"Don't let the door hitcha where the Lord splitcha!"

Lets hope this is for real.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #129)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:33 AM

160. What a shitty leader IMO!

Half of his speech consisted of the word "uhh", not to mention his soft speaking voice.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #129)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:01 AM

164. Hoping for his own reality show?

If he gets a show, hope it is like 'Orange is the new black'.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:25 AM

130. blankets with bedbugs, socks with fleas

Might get them out of there a bit faster.

Where are the Colorado readers? Perhaps some of those special cookies and brownies you get there could mellow them all out.

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Response to Liberty Belle (Reply #130)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:56 PM

184. Washington is closer

Just sayin'

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Response to Liberty Belle (Reply #130)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:06 PM

201. You can get those cookies and brownies in Oregon now

Y'know, this could work to our advantage...go watch the War Game scene in The Dirty Dozen.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:32 AM

131. This is the delivery "service" I would use:

?quality=65&strip=all&w=600


Second funnier image, can't get it to embed: http://www.tahoedailytribune.com/news/13312080-113/bear-bears-break-doors

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:39 AM

133. "hmmmm... extra clip or warm sox... which am I more likely to need?" n/t

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:18 AM

137. "MO-OM!"

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Response to NBachers (Reply #137)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:23 AM

145. "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah. I never should have left Nevada...

People are laughing, making fun of us.
Please send ticket for the next homebound Greyhound bus."

With apologies to Allan Sherman.

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #145)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:28 PM

187. Love it! Thanks!

That should go on facebook.

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #145)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:13 PM

203. Ponchielli wrote the tune.

It's from Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda....1876.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:30 AM

138. No sympathy for these criminals...

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:20 AM

144. Don't worry kiddies. Three hots and a cot is waiting for you at the local penitentiary.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:23 AM

146. They could cook the bacon they don't have using the "Ted Cruz barrel wrap method".

If they remembered to bring ammo.

Just trying to be helpful.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 05:26 AM

147. I need to see a pic of the whole group

I'm beginning to think these guys are really my old mates from Billionaires for Bush
That group certainly sounds like street theater

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:01 AM

149. The FBI is hanging back, the Sheriff just asks

them to leave... No shots need to be fired because those militant morons are being roasted in the court of public opinion. Laughingstocks! National Lampoon's Militia.

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Response to txwhitedove (Reply #149)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:03 AM

158. Smart, just let the cold weather and boredom do their work for them.

Then deal with them later.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 09:20 AM

155. Wow, even the "Oathkeepers" didn't want this stand-off. . .

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:01 AM

157. Hope they thank the Federal employee, aka Postal Worker who delivers these goods

out to the middle of nowhere in the winter.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 10:50 AM

162. Water

I am sure the people of the city of Flint MICHIGAN will send all the tap water they want.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:18 AM

165. I'll send them a package... nt

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:28 AM

168. Snacks and socks....but not underwear????

 

Hmmm...

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:29 AM

169. Typical right-wing freeloaders

Send us free food and other things, because we don't want government handouts.

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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #169)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:59 AM

172. Precisely.

Hypocracy has no better friend than a right wing nut. With them it's a lifestyle.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 11:58 AM

171. What the F**K is wrong with you folks? These are people in need, who are cold and hungry.

We should look into our hearts and dig deep to donate...

I have a broken VCR, 2 pairs of old flip flops, a summer dress, and a beach ball I can send them.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 12:21 PM

175. there's that famous rugged individualism.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:15 PM

178. question here: I keep hearing that these domestic terrorists are mormons. don't the

mormons have to have supplies for a year? didn't they bring theirs?

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:49 PM

181. I'll send them some applications for military service

 

but the fat stupid bums would never make it through basic training.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:50 PM

182. They "planned" a take over in 10 degree weather and forgot warm socks?

Yeah the Feds should be real worried about these guys.

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Response to yellowcanine (Reply #182)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 01:53 PM

183. Feds should trade one warm sock for one assault rifle.

Oh you want a PAIR of socks? That will be two guns, please.

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Response to yellowcanine (Reply #185)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 02:33 PM

188. Baby food, diapers, and sparkly fingernail polish...Love it! nt

 

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Response to yellowcanine (Reply #185)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:39 PM

194. That is hilarious!! nt

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:23 PM

191. They sound a bit organizationally challenged

as in they couldn't organize a pissing contest at a brewery.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:26 PM

192. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

But I would send them some Ex-Lax disguised as Hershey's bars, and some potato chips cooked in Olestra. Maybe some Hello Kitty socks. Some Bertie Bott's jelly beans, but only the Booger, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Rotten Egg, Soap and Vomit flavored ones.

These inbred, cousin humping sacks of monkey shit are such candy asses that if they fell on an ant hill the ants would eat them alive.

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Response to Cheap_Trick (Reply #192)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:45 PM

195. Don't forget lots of candy sweetened with Xylitol...

That will keep them busy for a while.

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Response to Contrary1 (Reply #195)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:15 PM

204. mmm, yes

Forgot those Gummy Worms. And we send them these things after we shut off the water.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 03:36 PM

193. Someone should send them a huge bag of horse shit. That should feed them for a while.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:19 PM

205. Priorities, priorities.

 

They remembered the important things -- firearms and ammunition. Just as all freedoms are secondary to the right to bear arms, so it is that food and clothing are secondary to having lots of fire power.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:24 PM

207. Sorry guys. This will only lead to a cycle of victimhood and dependency.

 

I suggest you grab your bootstraps, or eat them, whichever is more urgent, and stop whining.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:30 PM

208. Dear Fellow Patriots of the One True America

You may well remember the battle of Jade Helm and how successful we were at holding the government at bay. We saved Texas and we can save Oregon too!

We understand that you can't be with us here in person, due to your government checks being delayed, and we know your Medicare paid for scooters don't do well in the snow, but you can still be here in spirit!

Remember us while using your SNAP card at the grocery store! Buy a little extra and send us as much as you can. Just go down to your local U.S. Post Office and show your support by sending a care package today!

We'll take money or goods. Cash is preferable, as we don't trust the banks either.

You may be aware of our cause: To defend true Americans from the tyranny of government by exercising our right to trespass on federal lands and to threaten violence against those who deny us that right.

You may know our goals: To restore the Constitution because, obviously, we're not really free if we can't take up arms against the government.

If you're tired of the government telling you you can't engage in armed insurrection, then please send your donations today!

Even though we were well prepared for this moment, can a person ever truly be prepared for the restoration and glory of sedition?

Your help is needed.


P.S. Please send netting. The birds are shitting all over us. A government plot if ever there was one.






(Disclaimer: I am NOT mocking those that rely on government services. I AM mocking those who rely on government services and support anti-government, tea party-esque ignorance.)







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Response to Solly Mack (Reply #208)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 04:52 PM

211. Wonderful!!!!

 

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 05:49 PM

213. just a bunch of terrorists

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 06:22 PM

215. Too bad John Candy can't make the movie. /nt

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:19 PM

217. As suggested previously:

There's what, about 15 guys in there?

Send in about 3-4 bags of the Dreaded Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears, hack in to the security cameras, and stand back.

Forward the video to Youtube, and make the entire militia movement(pun intended) into a laughingstock forevermore.

Non-lethal, low cost, simple, and effective; they'll come crawling out by themselves begging for something to relieve the agony.

"And the Youtube videos will be frickin' hilarious."

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 07:32 PM

218. Maybe we should send warm food

to the postal carrier so he/she can thank them for hooking her/him up with free eats.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Tue Jan 5, 2016, 08:43 PM

219. "Give me liberty or give me snacks!"

Oh fuck liberty, just send Pop Tarts. Or Cheetos. Or Funyuns.

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Response to Photographer (Original post)

Wed Jan 6, 2016, 11:02 PM

226. Lots more new TOONs today:

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