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Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:16 PM

Christmas Eve in my family gave me hope

Previously posted in THIS THREAD and moved to an OP at the request of Niyad.

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The anti-bully campaigns in schools may actually be doing some good outside the school.

A cousin has been in an emotionally abusive relationship for some time. The guy is a master at treating her like shit then blaming her when her feelings are hurt, and looking like the good guy to everyone else. Over time he's convinced her this is better than what she deserves.

They played host to her sister's family.... which included 4 kids ranging in age from 8 to 18. Well the 8 yr old figured out the deal in under 2 days and enlisted her siblings. One day at the dinner table the jackass started his little routine and all 4 kids let him have it. Told him he's a bully. Told him he has no right to treat anyone that way. Told their aunt (my cousin) she deserves better, can do better, and should not have to live with this. Told their parents they should help her pack and take her back to their house until she can get divorced and back on her feet.

Being challenged the fucker's true color came out for all to see. Apparently the police were called and the 18 yr old of the kids was arrested..... released a few hours later to his parents as they were leaving town early. Of course it shot the hell out of Christmas Eve.

My cousin, their aunt, spent Christmas packing up her car and this morning arranging for a U-Haul and a couple strong backs. The financial cost to her in the immediate future will be incredible but she says the kids standing up and calling a bully a bully made her realize it's not just her. It's really him.

She has some mental and emotional work to do but I think those kids saved her......

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Update since this post dear cuz has moved out, taken half the bank account and is staying with a friend she actually thought she'd lost years ago. Cuz says she'd been toying with getting the hell out for years but stuck it out because people don't divorce and plus she thought it was all HER problem. The kids were the spark and jerked her to reality.

Her soon to be X is has never been the violent type and we are crossing our fingers he'll let her go in peace and get some help.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:46 PM

1. Her courage is notable. It is so hard to leave after your ego is beaten flat. Bravo to the kids!

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Response to Shrike47 (Reply #1)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 02:31 PM

12. from the mouths of babes ... I love your family. Good for her. She will feel better when she

decompresses and those beautiful kids saved her from despair. Wonderful. Christmas has never had a greater purpose than this.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:46 PM

2. Best Christmas ever, I'll bet. Best Wishes to All the Family

 

Maybe even the Jerk will catch a clue....

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:48 PM

3. Bravo - however, two words

"Restraining Order" - gives it the official stamp of approval and formalizes it. A bully like that will never respect the break, it is in his pathology to make another effort. Make it serious to him.

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Response to packman (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:21 PM

8. Restraining order often triggers violence

A restraining order, particularly when children are involved, is often the "trigger" which brings on a violent attack including murder. In most cases, a restraining order provides little actual protection.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:49 PM

4. That is great...

...and KUDOS to those children! Well, well done!!

Here is wishing her all the best. Sounds like she has some family support already built in and that makes a big difference.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 12:52 PM

5. your family is wonderful--and I so admire the children for their courage and ability

to see through the bs.

I know this is a hard situation for all. sending energies for healing and strength for all.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:00 PM

6. Great kids. Glad the family backed them up.

Best wishes for new life for your cuz. Bullies abound. We all need to face up them. thanks for the post.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:11 PM

7. Bravo to her and those kids.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:23 PM

9. Glad it turned out so well for her


K&R!

OS

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:36 PM

10. This literally takes my breath away. Thank God for those kids; what a gift they gave her.

Big hugs to them, and a happy new year to all.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 01:48 PM

11. Remarkable children

We should all stand up to bullies in our families, in politics and at schools.

Her soon to be X is has never been the violent type and we are crossing our fingers he'll let her go in peace and get some help.


Bullies almost always take revenge. They have most likely had a parent who set the example.

Unfortunately, restraining orders and the police fail all to often to provide any protection. My thoughts are with your cuz. What county does she reside in? My grandfather and father had close ties with law enforcement in their day. Maybe we could contact someone willing to keep an eye on her and the X?

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 02:51 PM

13. Awesome kids, brave cousin.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 02:58 PM

14. bless those kids - my goodness what guts

make sure your aunt stays safe and away from the jerk.
It will take years and much support to help her over the damage he has done.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 03:17 PM

15. thank you for posting like art linkletter said...kids say the darndest things.....

take care of the 18 yr old so that doing the right thing does not hurt him

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Dec 28, 2015, 06:35 PM

16. Sounds to me like your cousin got the best gift ever: freedom. Best of luck to her...

and those kids need high fives and maybe something special for a treat.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Tue Dec 29, 2015, 09:58 AM

17. bless those children!

I am sure she is for a long slog...it will take time to become emotionally and financially stable on her own. They say the first step is the hardest, and that is now behind her thanks to some very sharp children. I hope she is receiving counseling or is in a support group; she may need considerable help to get over "HER" problem.

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