Fun with Republicans

[Jerry442]

Hey boys and girls. Want to have some fun? Just retype the following memo, inserting the name of your favorite Republican candidate and other stuff as appropriate. Then make a whole big bunch of copies and spread 'em around. Here's the memo:

From: The desk of {candidate name}
To: my friends, supporters, and constituents
Re: Gun policy

As you know, I am running for {office} as a member of the Republican Party. I want all of you to know that I fully and unequivocally support the policies of the Party. To this end, I am announcing the following practices to be followed at all of my campaign events.

Every campaign event where I plan to appear will be gun-friendly. That means that both people carrying concealed weapons and people carrying weapons openly will be welcome. I will not be hypocritical on this issue. If my constituents have to conduct their daily lives with the constant presence of firearms, then so will I. I welcome people to exercise their Second Amendment rights in my presence.

Since I am fully committed to the concept that the only person who can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, there will be no checks to assure that guns brought to my events are unloaded or disabled. How could a good guy with a gun stop a bad guy with an unloaded or nonfunctional gun? I have complete faith in the professionalism and diligence of my constituents. I'm sure that all firearms will have the safeties on, unless there is a need to act to preserve order.

I'll see you on Election Day, God willing.