Hillary Clinton To Nation: ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me’

[Katashi_itto]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by MineralMan (a host of the General Discussion forum).

WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her.

“Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds.

“Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in.

http://www.theonion.com/article/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for--38416

[Exilednight]

1. It would've funny if her actions didn't make it seem so true.

[Fred Sanders]

7. Clinton made her candidacy the old fashioned way...she earned it. Hilarious!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

2. Sounds like she was channeling Trump

... but with better hair.

[spooky3]

14. Good one!

[bravenak]

3. Some people here will really believe she said this.nt

[A Simple Game]

9. Heavens no, we know she wouldn't say that, at least not before the election,

but we know she's thinking it. Along with many of her supporters

[heaven05]

12. along with many supporters

in BOTH camps, really.

[A Simple Game]

15. As a Bernie supporter I can not honestly say; Not me, I would never think that! n/t

[Motown_Johnny]

4. Satire:

sat·ire
ˈsaˌtī ə r/
noun
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature

[malaise]

6. Thread winner

nothing else needs to be said

[bigwillq]

5. Another spot-on piece by the Onion.

Sounds like the truth.

[MyNameGoesHere]

8. I thought I saw this posted on another site

along with Vince Foster murder, blue dress and other stuff. I had to take a shower then, now I guess I need another one.

[Katashi_itto]

10. Have a good shower!

[heaven05]

11. I love it

pretty close to reality I bet.

[OhZone]

13. DU, don't fuck this up by chasing fairy tales and getting a Republican elected. :( n/t

[Oilwellian]

17. So posting an Onion piece on DU...

will fuck up Hilly's chances for president?

[IDemo]

18. Kind of like a previous poster

Who suggested DU'ers need to get onboard with TPP "before it's too late".

Too late, meaning the deal hinges on Obama reading up on the latest opinions of DU'ers before finalizing it?

[7962]

16. Whats funny is that a lot of people wouldnt think this WAS satire!

Because most people probably believe that she says this in private

[cantbeserious]

19. The Sense Of Entitlement Makes This Ring True

eom

[MineralMan]

20. Locking - Democratic Primary Thread should be posted in GD-P

From the GD Statement of Purpose:
Discuss politics, issues, and current events. Posts about Israel/Palestine, religion, guns, showbiz, or sports are restricted in this forum. Posts about the Democratic primaries, conspiracy theories and disruptive meta-discussion are forbidden.

You can repost in GD-P http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1251

Satire doesn't allow an exception to this rule.