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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDonald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis Before Putting On Clothes, Starting Day
NEW YORKReal estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan's Trump Tower to start the day.
According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function. "God, look at this thing," said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. "Pitiful."
Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.
At this point, Trump is purported to have released the heavily crinkled pouch and sighed deeply. "What the hell happened?" said Trump, who appeared to receive no reassurance by swiveling and viewing his shrunken penis in profile. "It's just
dead."
EDIT
http://www.theonion.com/article/donald-trump-stares-forlornly-at-tiny-aged-penis-i-28589
B2G
(9,766 posts)olddots
(10,237 posts)B2G
(9,766 posts)Sunlei
(22,651 posts)I love the onion
Response to hatrack (Original post)
1000words This message was self-deleted by its author.
B2G
(9,766 posts)Ageism is decidedly not funny.
Codeine
(25,586 posts)nc4bo
(17,651 posts)On Wed Jul 8, 2015, 02:40 PM an alert was sent on the following post:
Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis Before Putting On Clothes, Starting Day
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026952429
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
ALERTER'S COMMENTS
Okay it is about Trump but this is just disgusting.
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Wed Jul 8, 2015, 02:47 PM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.
Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I think I served on a jury for this before.
Get over it.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It's the Onion! It's suppose to be disgusting. Not my thing, but not against Community Standards.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: This is from the Onion... (!)
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Censoring the ONION now are we? wow
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Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
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Explanation: Omg, it's The Onion.
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