How 'Black Fathers' Facebook Group of 9K Is ‘Shattering Stereotypes’

[romanic]

When Matt Prestbury gained custody of his then 2- and 3-year-old sons, after divorcing his first wife 12 years ago, the single dad knew he needed support. “I’m very much an introvert,” the Baltimore father, 39, tells Yahoo Parenting. “But I knew that I wanted to build a brotherhood in a sense — and I didn’t see anything else like that out there.”

So in 2008, Prestbury, a kindergarten teacher, took matters into his own hands and founded the Black Fathers Facebook group for dads. “I wanted to create a virtual space where fathers could come together and be a resource for each other — and help break lot of stereotypes to change the narrative of what it means to be a black father in America,” says the now remarried father, who has four children today: sons Breon, 16, Bryce, 14, Braylon, 10, and daughter Laila, 8, with his second wife, Kelly. “There used to be the perception that fathers, and in particular black fathers, all abandon their children. But I wanted to have stories represented like mine, where the fathers are actively involved in their kids’ lives.”

Fatherhood, he says, “wasn’t really a big social issue at the time. Sure, you could have kids and take care of them,” Prestbury adds, “but sitting home and kickin’ it with homies, we didn’t talk about fatherhood and being dads. And I wanted to give dads a sense of validation.”

At first the group was about gathering for casual playground meet-ups, but it quickly grew in scope and size. Now with a whopping 9,000 members from across the country, Black Fathers has become the network, and the agent of change, that Prestbury always hoped that it would be. The group offers workshops, an active discussion board, and resources for men seeking advice and legal counsel regarding custody and other family issues. There are also events — including the group’s recent “hip-hop and spoken word celebration,” with musicians who are fathers or who rap about fatherhood, and “Daddy & a Movie,” a free outdoor film series.

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/how-black-fathers-facebook-group-of-9k-is-121297535977.html

Saw this earlier and it warmed my heart. I truly believe black fathers, single black fathers especially get a bad wrap with the "deadbeat jailbird" stereotype that is often thrown out by the mainstream media. I wish Mr. Prestbury and his group luck.

[F4lconF16]

1. I don't know.

I'm going to comment with the recognition this really isn't my place to say much.

I'm glad this guy has found something that has worked for him, and clearly many others. It sounds like they do a lot of good things in their community.

But I worry about the way it is presented. The problems affecting black families do not exist because black men have not been actively breaking stereotypes for years. Gangs in LA are not the result of the community not rising above stereotypes. These are systemic problems.

And this also redirects this problem black onto the black community, rather than recognizing that it is the result of the way our society is structured.

Of course, this organization sounds great. It promotes community, interdependence, and education. I hope it does really well. But this article gives all of this the wrong slant, then. Because it should be about how to build community around a common struggle, not about how black men need to join an organization and be good fathers. The black men I know have no problem not giving a crap about sterotypes already. This makes it sound they need to "break stereotypes" to prove themselves to white people. Screw that, white people need to pull their heads out of their asses about the realities of race in the US.

[romanic]

2. I get what your saying

but whether it's at the fault of society or the black community itself doesn't change the reality that there are too many black fathers absent in the lives of their children; leaving behind a generation(s) of young boys and girls without a strong father figure in their lives. I can only speak from experience and say that if my father wasn't present to keep me in check or give me advice on how to survive in the hood, I don't know WHERE I would be today. So many black kids don't have that either due to jail, being murdered on the streets, so-called "baby momma" drama, or whatever else that creates these broken homes in the inner city.

I'm just glad there's a group like this out there; black fathers truly get shit on more often then you think. I hope they grow, not to prove themselves to anyone, but to strengthen the black community and black families.