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Thu May 7, 2015, 07:33 PM

The President, after capturing Texas

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?w=940

http://qz.com/399409/why-would-obama-want-to-invade-texas/
http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2015/05/02/403865824/texas-governor-deploys-state-guard-to-stave-off-obama-takeover







Obama’s Texas Invasion Plans Revealed



Greg Carey https://twitter.com/Greg_Carey/status/595577492414529537 made this image and shared it on Twitter,.....There is actually serious irony to several of the arrows. Climate scientists invading from Alabama? Evolutionists from Kansas? I suppose the anti-gay legislation in Arizona might motivate gays to begin an exodus – but why would they head for Texas rather than California?

Perhaps something similar could be said of all these groups – people who accept mainstream science might have good reason Alabama and Kansas. In which case, perhaps Texas is going to be confronting less of an invasion and more of a refugee crisis.

I just hope they have room for all of them in the tunnel system under their Wal-Marts…
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/exploringourmatrix/2015/05/obamas-texas-invasion-plans-revealed.html


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Walmart issues statement denying underground tunnels beneath stores used in Obama plot to take over Texas. Really.
http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2015/05/05/walmart-issues-statement-denying-underground-tunnels-beneath-stores-used-in-obama-plot-to-take-over-texas-really

34 replies, 7176 views

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Arrow 34 replies Author Time Post
Reply The President, after capturing Texas (Original post)
kpete May 2015 OP
hifiguy May 2015 #1
NoJusticeNoPeace May 2015 #2
misterhighwasted May 2015 #3
lovemydog May 2015 #8
calimary May 2015 #10
BlancheSplanchnik May 2015 #19
99Forever May 2015 #4
LiberalElite May 2015 #5
A Simple Game May 2015 #16
pinboy3niner May 2015 #22
Gothmog May 2015 #28
etherealtruth May 2015 #6
brer cat May 2015 #7
lovemydog May 2015 #9
NuclearDem May 2015 #11
Dr. Xavier May 2015 #12
freshwest May 2015 #13
mountain grammy May 2015 #17
freshwest May 2015 #20
DisgustipatedinCA May 2015 #23
Thespian2 May 2015 #25
A Simple Game May 2015 #14
Scurrilous May 2015 #15
freshwest May 2015 #26
AuntPatsy May 2015 #18
PBass May 2015 #21
dflprincess May 2015 #24
DamnYankeeInHouston May 2015 #32
Gothmog May 2015 #27
Danascot May 2015 #29
hifiguy May 2015 #30
heaven05 May 2015 #31
Spitfire of ATJ May 2015 #33
Marrah_G May 2015 #34

Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:34 PM

1. THAT is funny!

 

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:35 PM

2. I heard if Hillary is elected she is gonna force all evangelicals to undergo sex changes

and if Bernie wins he is going to seize all personal property from christians.

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Response to NoJusticeNoPeace (Reply #2)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:38 PM

3. + 10000 This ^ Bwaaahaaaahaaa

One can dream..

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Response to NoJusticeNoPeace (Reply #2)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:27 PM

8. roflmao

Paranoia strikes deep...

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Response to NoJusticeNoPeace (Reply #2)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:30 PM

10. And she may have secret plans to test out a time machine on that Duggar family!!!

I heard she's planning to reverse the clock on all those kids so they all turn back into babies, and then she's gonna stuff 'em all back inside of their mama! And Alex Jones has seen the insertion order!!!!

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Response to calimary (Reply #10)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:29 PM

19. good!!!!

Can't happen soon enough!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:41 PM

4. That was so funny I had to call the wife in to see it.

We're still laughing.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:45 PM

5. So where's the Tea Bagger Paul Revere - you know -

one if by land and two if by sea?


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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #5)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:05 PM

16. Catch up please, you need to add "three if by air."

And they said the forefathers were all knowing.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #5)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:54 PM

22. When last seen, the REAL Paul Revere was...




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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #22)

Fri May 8, 2015, 08:12 AM

28. Greg Abbott is making Perry/goodhair look bright

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 07:50 PM

6. K and R .... this is too good to miss

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:22 PM

7. Perfect! nt

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:28 PM

9. kpete, you've had a lotta great posts but this just may be your

BEST THREAD EVER!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:31 PM

11. Next thing you know he'll be building bases all over Texas!

 

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:35 PM

12. My wife and I want to retire to New Mexico.

We're both native Californians and really hate what our home state has become. We both love New Mexico and are really looking forward to it. One of my ancestors was a governor of New Mexico in the early 1600's. He was scoundrel and made a deal with his successor so that he wouldn't be indicted. I think part of the deal was that he had to leave New Mexico and so the family settled in El Paso. The only thing I am not looking forward to living in New Mexico is that it is right next to Texas. Those people are loony and its spreading.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 08:44 PM

13. kpete, kpete, kpete! I will have to explain this to you. As a native Texan, here are 10 facks:



FACK #1:

Texas is illegally occupied, as it never really re-joined the Union after the traitorous War of Northern Aggression! The South, er, Texas, will rise again!

FACK #2:

Texas was split into 5 states because the Yankees were afraid of Texans and JEALOUS. They still are and we know this. Back off!

FACK #3:

Texans were first in promoting religious liberty. The Mexican government snookered them into being part of their Empire to turn them into Catholics. They refused to submit to such tyranny. The allegation that the settlers were in violation of Mexican laws against slavery, are totally bogus! Every red-blooded Amurican had slaves. Get over it!

FACK #4:

The Mexicans did not have the machismo to deal with the native population, so they gave grants to Real Menz to move there and drive them away. That is why the Texas Rangers are still revered in Texas to this day. Just watch the show Walker: Texas Ranger and you will learn all about it.

FACK #5:

Alaska is not the biggest state in the Union. As soon as that ice melts, you will understand that Texas is still the biggest and greatest state in this hemisphere. Oh, and a Republic, too. Tough stuff, Union lovers!

FACK #6:


Texas embraced the death penalty because some people 'just needed killing.' The rest of the country seems to think this is Europe or some other bleeding heart liberal place. Once you all grow up, you will agree with whatever Texas does.

FACK #7:

Texans do not give a damn what they rest of the nation thinks of them. And never will. Texans look down on all of you. Because you are not as special as Texas. Yes, we really believe that. Now go and hide under your beds.

FACK #8:

Texans are well aware of the fack that Obama and other wild eyed commies are always trying to steal OUR OIL. We have more than once planned to join OPEC. 'Let the bastards freeze in the dark' is what they think of those Damn Yankees who want our oil.

FACK #9:

We are the freedom-est, most liberty-ness, most grandest of all peoples. Except for little ladies who don't know their place, which is barefoot and pregnant, and other such uppity folks. In time, you will learn our ways. We are coming for you.

FACK #10:

Obama began his campaign in the same state from whence came the destroyer of our Gawd given rights to own slaves and other things granted by the Constitution. He wants to be the new Lincoln.

And he is trying to force us to accept the return of the Damn Yankee Carpetbaggers and the illegal Reconstruction on us again.

He will not win, and we will take back all the states that we gave up to join the Union under the mistaken idea that America did respect our Gawd given rights. Thus, we need our own army, loyal to the Republic of Texas. The penalty for trespassing can be death by landowners. Fear us, we are not going away.

Addendum:

This is satire. But it all whas been said for many years. So apply the icon liberally. Just don't do that when a member of the freedom loving Open Carry brigade is looking at you. Since, well, they might just decide you 'need killing.'

Oh, and thanks for the maps. I will be sure to pass those around, so Alex Jones and the Tea Party folks will block the roads where they attempt to attack. Which means there will be a target rich environment, and we will have a grand hunting party shooting in all directions at once.

Note:

The pronouns in this post are quite jumbled up. My apologies to our resident grammar nazis. Sorta.

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Response to freshwest (Reply #13)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:06 PM

17. Lived in Houston for 6 years, a pretty fun place from 78 to 84.

I remember the Montrose district and the original Chilis and Mama Ninfas, my introduction to Texas and Mexican food. Still go to visit family. Your post is dead on and very funny. thanks. It's another world .

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Response to mountain grammy (Reply #17)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:49 PM

20. We are compatriots, same era and neighborhoood, even! Hola, amiga! Dying for comida mexicana here!

But I lived there forty years. I lived in the Montrose on and off from 1969 to the early eighties. I can't go back anymore, financial and health issues interfere. Every time I've gone back, it's almost unrecognizable to me. Glad you enjoyed the post.

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Response to freshwest (Reply #20)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:54 PM

23. I lived there a little later--1987 to 1989

 

I did go to the original Ninfas--I loved that place, but mostly ate at the one that had cropped up in Kingwood by the time I lived there. I haven't been back to Houston in a long time.

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Response to DisgustipatedinCA (Reply #23)

Thu May 7, 2015, 10:44 PM

25. Did my PhD work at U of H.

Pollution almost killed me...Texas Repugs are out-rage-ous-ly stupid...don't even bother to give them facts...They already know what they believe, don't need no facts...Were one to wander into the state, that person may be crushed by all the giant egos...or by those ostrich-skin fake "cowboy" boots...

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:02 PM

14. I have to disagree with the Chuck Norris one. I don't know about his movies but

Walker, Texas Ranger has to be one of the best comedy shows on TV even in reruns.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:02 PM

15. Where have you gone....



...Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón,

Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

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Response to Scurrilous (Reply #15)

Thu May 7, 2015, 11:32 PM

26. He was defeated when he ran out of breath repeating that name. Nice pic of that imperialist, though!

No, just kidding there. He was quite an interesting figure in history. Not really anything to be scoffed at.

Santa Anna[2] or López de Santa Anna and sometimes called "the Napoleon of the West", was a Mexican politician and general who greatly influenced early Mexican politics and government. Santa Anna first opposed the movement for Mexican independence from Spain, but then fought in support of it. Though not the first caudillo (military leader) of modern Mexico, he was among the earliest.[3]

Santa Anna had great power in the independent country; he served as general and president multiple times during a turbulent 40-year career; he served as president for eleven non-consecutive terms over a period of 22 years. A wealthy landowner, he built a firm political base in the major port city of Veracruz. He was the hero of the Army; he sought glory for himself and his army, and repeatedly rebuilt it after major losses. A brave soldier and a cunning politician, he dominated his era so much that historians often call it the "Age of Santa Anna".

However, historians also rank him as perhaps the principal inhabitant even today of Mexico's pantheon of 'those who failed the nation.'"[4] His centralist rhetoric and military failures resulted in Mexico losing just over half its territory, beginning with the Texas Revolution of 1836, and culminating with the Mexican Cession of 1848 following its defeat by the United States in the Mexican-American War.


At the pinnacle of power

President Pedraza convened the Congress of Mexico, and he elected Santa Anna as president on 1 April 1833. President Santa Anna appointed Valentín Gómez Farías as Vice-President and largely left the governing of the nation to him. Farías began to implement liberal reforms, chiefly directed at the army and the Catholic Church, which was the state religion in Mexico. Such reforms as abolishing tithing as a legal obligation, and the seizure of church property and finances, caused concern among Mexican conservatives.[7]

Farías also sought to extend these reforms to the frontier province of Alta California. Farías promoted legislation to secularize the Franciscan missions there. In 1833 he organized the Híjar-Padrés colony to bolster non-mission settlement. A secondary goal of the colony was to help defend Alta California against perceived Russian colonial ambitions from the trading post at Fort Ross.[8]

In May 1834, Santa Anna ordered disarmament of the civic militia. He suggested to Congress that they should abolish the controversial Ley del Caso, under which the liberals' opponents had been sent into exile.[9] The Plan of Cuernavaca, published on 25 May 1834, called for repeal of the liberal reforms.[10] On 12 June, Santa Anna dissolved Congress and announced his decision to adopt the Plan of Cuernavaca.[11] Santa Anna formed a new Catholic, centralist, conservative government. In 1835 it replaced the 1824 constitution with the new constitutional document known as the "Siete Leyes" ("The Seven Laws". Santa Anna dissolved the Congress and began centralizing power. His regime became a dictatorship backed by the military.

Several states openly rebelled against the changes: Coahuila y Tejas (the northern part of which would become the Republic of Texas), San Luis Potosí, Querétaro, Durango, Guanajuato, Michoacán, Yucatán, Jalisco, Nuevo León, Tamaulipas, and Zacatecas. Several of these states formed their own governments: the Republic of the Rio Grande, the Republic of Yucatan, and the Republic of Texas. Only the Texans defeated Santa Anna and retained their independence. Their fierce resistance was possibly fueled by reprisals Santa Anna committed against his defeated enemies.[12] The New York Post editorialized that "had [Santa Anna] treated the vanquished with moderation and generosity, it would have been difficult if not impossible to awaken that general sympathy for the people of Texas which now impels so many adventurous and ardent spirits to throng to the aid of their brethren".[13]

The Zacatecan militia, the largest and best supplied of the Mexican states, led by Francisco García, was well armed with .753 caliber British 'Brown Bess' muskets and Baker .61 rifles. But, after two hours of combat on 12 May 1835, Santa Anna's "Army of Operations" defeated the Zacatecan militia and took almost 3,000 prisoners. Santa Anna allowed his army to loot Zacatecas for forty-eight hours. After defeating Zacatecas, he planned to move on to Coahuila y Tejas to quell the rebellion there, which was being supported by settlers from the United States (aka Texians).


Texas Revolution

Like other states discontented with the central Mexican authorities, the Texas department of the Mexican state of Coahuila y Tejas rebelled in late 1835 and declared itself independent on 2 March 1836. The northeastern part of the state had been settled by numerous American immigrants, beginning with Stephen Austin and his party, welcomed by earlier governments.

Santa Anna marched north to bring Texas back under Mexican control by a show of brute merciless force. His expedition posed challenges of manpower, logistics, supply, and strategy far beyond what he was prepared for, and it ended in disaster. To fund, organize, and equip his army he relied, as he often did, on forcing wealthy men to provide loans. He recruited hastily, sweeping up many derelicts and ex-convicts, as well as Indians who could not understand Spanish commands.

His army expected tropical weather and suffered from the cold as well as shortages of traditional foods. Stretching a supply line far longer than ever before, he lacked horses, mules, cattle, and wagons, and thus had too little food and feed. The medical facilities were minimal. Morale sank as soldiers realized there were not enough chaplains to properly bury their bodies. Regional Indians attacked military stragglers; water sources were polluted and many men became sick. Because of his weak staff system, Santa Anna was oblivious to the challenges, and was totally confident that a show of force and a few massacres (as at the Alamo and Goliad) would have the rebels begging for mercy.[14]

On 6 March 1836, at the Battle of the Alamo, Santa Anna's forces killed 189 Texian defenders and later executed more than 342 Texian prisoners, including James Walker Fannin at the Goliad Massacre (27 March 1836). These executions were conducted in a manner similar to the executions he witnessed of Mexican rebels in the 1810s as a young soldier.

However, the defeat at the Alamo bought time for General Sam Houston and his Texas forces. During the siege of the Alamo, the Texas Navy had more time to plunder ports along the Gulf of Mexico and the Texian Army gained more weapons and ammunition. Despite Sam Houston's lack of ability to maintain strict control of the Texian Army, they defeated Santa Anna's much larger army at the Battle of San Jacinto on 21 April 1836. The Texans shouted, "Remember Goliad, Remember the Alamo!" The day after the battle, a small Texan force led by James Austin Sylvester captured Santa Anna. They found the general dressed in a dragoon private's uniform and hiding in a marsh.

Acting Texas president David G. Burnet and Santa Anna signed the Treaties of Velasco, stating that "in his official character as chief of the Mexican nation, he acknowledged the full, entire, and perfect Independence of the Republic of Texas." In exchange, Burnet and the Texas government guaranteed Santa Anna's safety and transport to Veracruz. In Mexico City, however, a new government declared that Santa Anna was no longer president and that the treaty he made with Texas was null and void.

While captive in Texas, Joel Roberts Poinsett — U.S. minister to Mexico in 1824 — offered a harsh assessment of General Santa Anna's situation:

Say to General Santa Anna that when I remember how ardent an advocate he was of liberty ten years ago, I have no sympathy for him now, that he has gotten what he deserves.


Santa Anna replied:

Say to Mr. Poinsett that it is very true that I threw up my cap for liberty with great ardor, and perfect sincerity, but very soon found the folly of it. A hundred years to come my people will not be fit for liberty. They do not know what it is, unenlightened as they are, and under the influence of a Catholic clergy, a despotism is the proper government for them, but there is no reason why it should not be a wise and virtuous one.[15]

Redemption, dictatorship, and exile

In 1838, Santa Anna narrowly escaped capture and was severely wounded in the attack of the French against Veracruz.

After some time in exile in the U.S., and after meeting with U.S. president Andrew Jackson in 1837, Santa Anna was allowed to return to Mexico. He was transported aboard the USS Pioneer to retire to his hacienda in Veracruz, called Manga de Clavo.

In 1838, Santa Anna had a chance for redemption from the loss of Texas. After Mexico rejected French demands for financial compensation for losses suffered by French citizens, France sent forces that landed in Veracruz in the Pastry War. The Mexican government gave Santa Anna control of the army and ordered him to defend the nation by any means necessary. He engaged the French at Veracruz. During the Mexican retreat after a failed assault, Santa Anna was hit in the left leg and hand by cannon fire. His shattered ankle required amputation of much of his leg, which he ordered buried with full military honors. Despite Mexico's final capitulation to French demands, Santa Anna used his war service to re-enter Mexican politics as a hero. He never allowed Mexico to forget him and his sacrifice in defending the fatherland.

Santa Anna used a prosthetic cork leg; during the later Mexican-American War, it was captured and kept by American troops. The cork leg is displayed at the Illinois State Military Museum in Springfield. The Mexican government has repeatedly asked for its return.[16] Santa Anna had a replacement leg made which is displayed at the Museo Nacional de Historia in Mexico City.[17] A second leg, a peg, was also captured and is displayed at the home of Richard J. Oglesby in Decatur, Illinois.[18]

Soon after, as Anastasio Bustamante's presidency turned chaotic, supporters asked Santa Anna to take control of the provisional government. Santa Anna was made president for the fifth time, taking over a nation with an empty treasury. The war with France had weakened Mexico, and the people were discontented. Also, a rebel army led by Generals José Urrea and José Antonio Mexía was marching towards the capital in opposition to Santa Anna. Commanding the army, Santa Anna crushed the rebellion in Puebla.

Santa Anna ruled in a more dictatorial way than during his first administration. His government banned anti-Santanista newspapers and jailed dissidents to suppress opposition. In 1842, he directed a military expedition into Texas. It committed numerous casualties with no political gain; but Texans began to be persuaded of the potential benefits of annexation by the more powerful U.S. Santa Anna was unable to control the Mexican congressional elections of 1842. The new congress was composed of men of principles who vigorously opposed the autocratic leader.[19]

Trying to restore the treasury, Santa Anna raised taxes, but this aroused resistance. Several Mexican states stopped dealing with the central government, and Yucatán and Laredo declared themselves independent republics. With resentment growing, Santa Anna stepped down from power. Fearing for his life, he tried to elude capture, but in January 1845 he was apprehended by a group of Indians near Xico, Veracruz. They turned him over to authorities, and Santa Anna was imprisoned. His life was spared, but the dictator was exiled to Cuba.


It all went downhill from there, however. Not that it was all that smooth. Still, 40 years in power is nothing to be sneered at and he was a philsopher, as well. All in all, a fascinating man who lived in interesting times.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_L%C3%B3pez_de_Santa_Anna

That isthe crazy world of Texas up close. But to Texans, it all makes sense. LOL!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:28 PM

18. Lol husband is not laughing ;)

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 09:52 PM

21. Bring on the Enforced Gay Marriages!

YEE HAW

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Thu May 7, 2015, 10:24 PM

24. Austin needs to be liberated!

surrounded as it is by right wing lunatics.

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Response to dflprincess (Reply #24)

Fri May 8, 2015, 07:38 PM

32. Hey! Houston, too! We're cool. We have a gay mayor and the Art Car Parade. Jeez!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Fri May 8, 2015, 08:10 AM

27. What did Houston do? I do not know

I want to know what Houston is accused of doing?

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Fri May 8, 2015, 03:11 PM

29. The troops would never make it past

those Texas sized Walmart shoppers in their motorized shopping carts; more effective than concrete barricades.

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Response to Danascot (Reply #29)

Fri May 8, 2015, 04:29 PM

30. Nah. An oversized cowcatcher on the front of a personnel carrier

 

would scatter them like tenpins.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Fri May 8, 2015, 05:29 PM

31. this would be funny

 

if those CT's in texas weren't so serious......it's not funny.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Fri May 8, 2015, 07:42 PM

33. ...

 

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Fri May 8, 2015, 07:46 PM

34. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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