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Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:47 PM

"And I'll tell you no lies. . . ." Please come CAPTION Bill ("It's the literal truth!") O'Reilly!!!



Bill ("Remember, the truth stops here!" O'Reilly is saying, "Oh heavenly Father, what is wrong with these pathetic idiots?? Why can't they believe me? They say I couldn't be in Florida and Texas at the same time. They say I couldn't have seen the nuns killed. They say I wasn't in a war zone. They say I wasn't under siege in the LA riots. . . . Next thing they'll say I can't walk on water. . . . Where do they get this crap???"

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Reply "And I'll tell you no lies. . . ." Please come CAPTION Bill ("It's the literal truth!") O'Reilly!!! (Original post)
skip fox Mar 2015 OP
RKP5637 Mar 2015 #1
malaise Mar 2015 #2
skip fox Mar 2015 #3
pennylane100 Mar 2015 #4
skip fox Mar 2015 #6
skip fox Mar 2015 #5
Tierra_y_Libertad Mar 2015 #7
skip fox Mar 2015 #8
Takket Mar 2015 #9
pinboy3niner Mar 2015 #10
skip fox Mar 2015 #11

Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:53 PM

1. "My Lie was only This Big!" n/t

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:55 PM

2. Truth be told

Even when I die I will lie still

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:55 PM

3. Bill is saying:

"If my member was any bigger, I'd have to hire a kid with a wheelbarrow to follow around behind me! . . . That's the God's honest truth!"

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:56 PM

4. God, I hope this does not get banned, but this was the first thought to come to mind.

"Yes, it really is that big"

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Response to pennylane100 (Reply #4)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 04:01 PM

6. Would someone censor these?

I always try to avoid curse words (or at least use sh*t instead of full spelling), out of respect, but these posts seem rather benign.

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 03:59 PM

5. Bill is asking for divine clarification:

"Dear God, what do they mean when they call me Pinocchio without the nose? . . . Are they trying to be funny?"

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 04:02 PM

7. Santa's schlong was this long. I was there. I saw it. Honest.

 

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 04:04 PM

8. "Dear Christ,

if you had to put up with the kind of harassment I've had to endure recently, you'd drop the lily in a minute and pick up the burning sword. . . . Good thing I'm more patient."

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 04:12 PM

9. "This was me...

1 second before I made the interception that won the Patriots the Super Bowl!"

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Mar 6, 2015, 04:20 PM

10. "Missed it by that much."

"And when I was in combat, that was good enough for hand grenades!1!!"

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Sat Mar 7, 2015, 05:19 AM

11. Bill is saying:

"I know I should be more patient, Father, but I swear: if Christ would have had to go through then what I am going through now, he would have quit!"

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