I never thought I would be the one to need help
Last edited Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:57 AM - Edit history (2)
OneGrassRoot suggested I post here and I am going to suck up my last bit of pride actually hit "post" after typing this.
This year has been hell for me financially and I have no where left to turn. My hours were cut at work, my car needs to fixed, I am behind on my bills after paying off the huge heating bill from last winter. My utilities are behind, my rent is going to be behind soon. I just keep juggling my paychecks to try and keep everything on.
My son turns 21 on Saturday and we are told it might be a year or two before (or if) we can finally get his SSDI approved. So I am supporting us both while he takes some classes at the community college in hopes that at some point he will be able to get and keep a job. I can't even afford a birthday present for him.
DU is like an online family and I am hoping someone out there can help me to get out of this hole I am in while I try to find another job or at least some Elance work to make up for the loss in wages. I worked out a budget that I can get by on if I could just get out of this hole. I want to start my own business eventually( I sew) but materials cost money.
I made a fundraiser on Gofundme.com.
I am embarrassed and horrified by all this, but the stress and worry really has me at my wits end. I am hoping I didn't ramble to much. My phone broke last night and I was up all night in fear of over sleeping and not being up for work. Hopefully I can get it fixed today since it is the phone I use for work.
So I am going to put this all out there and hope for the best.
a K&R for continued exposure. I do really hope that things work out for you, I will go to the site mentioned and look it over.
I hope things get better for you. A lot of us are one paycheck away from being in big trouble. The people in power want all of us gasping for air so we do their work with no complaints for fear of losing our jobs. Praying for you, I'll go to the site today.
You did a brave thing...the right thing, imho...by sharing here and inviting your DU friends to help if they can.
I am so sorry that the site takes 7.9% + 30 cents of any donations to you, Marrah.
I upped my donation to take that into account.
Best of luck, do please update us.
Every bit helps and hopefully I can send some money off to the electric/gas company today.
Even hard working people.
And they say there was no Depression... Only a Recession.
Sadly, all I have to offer you is a kick and recommend.
My email is [email protected]. Is that what you need to find the paypal account? I've only ever used it to pay for things from stores.
it seems like a donation with my debit card will have comparable fees, so I'll go through the crowdfunder to make it easier. It's not much because I'm a student but I hope it helps.
(but yes for future reference your email is all you would need )
I am just an impoverished baker but did what I could. I know there are a lot of generous folks here, may you get some relief soon!
Hugs and encouragement!
Despite the problems I've been able to create in my life, I've somehow made it this far. I've been lucky to get here. You, too, will continue.
When you do get your sewing biz ready, check out Etsy.com as a potential place to sell.
Very popular site.
I even had someone offer to make a logo for me
I have been trying to find a heavy cloak for a present and can't find a decent one for less than $200
And there are no good tunics!
There are a lot of young people into cosplay costumes for comic cons and the like, Game of Thrones costumes are wildly popular and expensive...I wish I could sew, there some serious money to be made there.
Maybe you could start a thread here and take some orders...
Especially Men's Ren faire and SCA garb- everyone makes gowns, but not many make mens wear.
I just completed a linen poet type shirt completely hand sewn for a ren faire friend. It's so pretty and made from hemp linen.
When you get up and running let us know. I will be one of your first customers!
grading essays, but I will pop over there when I wake up and send a bit.
Last edited Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:24 AM - Edit history (1)
Do alterations, too. You can make money that way without paying for a lot of materials. Hemming, especially, is quick and easy, yet those who can't do it are willing to pay well to have it done properly. Since some seamstresses do a sloppy job, I often ended up having to repair bad work others had done, and when that happened, the customer became a loyal client, since he/she had learned that not all seamstresses are created equal, and that paying to have it done right the first time is cheaper than paying less and having to then pay again to have the lousy job fixed.
BTW, when I made a dress or other garment for someone, the customer purchased all the materials, except for things like thread. My sewing business was quite cheap to start.
I live in a college town. Young women often don't sew at all, so they paid well to have a simple skirt or a pair of pants hemmed or altered, and they told all their friends about me, so I often ended up doing jobs for everyone in a sorority or a dorm.
One fraternity on campus had an annual "Fiji" party (I don't know if that is still a thing). All the young men and women who attended wore sarongs to the party--and I ended up making them for everyone. Since there is a new pledge class each year, that meant that each year I had a bunch of new people to sew a sarong for. Obviously, those were very simple to make.
I also used to make a bunch of Halloween costumes every year--for little kids, but also for college students.
Some young men will also pay for alterations. Many young men from Middle Eastern countries liked to have their shirts altered for a better fit, so they were repeat customers, too, because I did a better job than other seamstresses in town.
What fantastic ideas- and I live in Providence RI where there are a bunch of big colleges.
They often need costumers and some of the bigger ones can afford to pay. (Smaller ones are often volunteer only, but it may not hurt to check them out.)
We went to the "better" parts of town, and literally walked up to peoples' houses and left the flyers in their doors. If someone was outside their house, she offered her services, and asked if they'd like a card or flyer.
It didn't take long for calls to start coming in. Business became repeat business. It was just shoe leather and time. If people are offering to help design logos, cards, or flyers here, take 'em up on it.
I know it takes some gumption to go walking around dropping off the flyers, but it's like everything else- you get used to doing it, and it gets easier.
for alterations and other sewing work. She does a very good business with students always changing and the faculty and staff passing her name along to everyone. She's a gem!
dorms to post them on their bulletin boards.
very sorry to hear of your bad luck, Marrah. I will see what I can do with a wee bit later today.
Best of luck, hope you meet your number in record time.
a little better off than our neighbors can't help them. What good are we?
Don't be embarrassed and horrified; sometimes life just happens in ways that aren't fun. Don't be so hard on yourself and try to stay positive. It will get better!
I don't even have a spare dollar.
Don't be embarrassed or horrified, you are brave to ask for
help and there is nobody here qualified to judge you.
Fifteen years and my job is being eliminated.
Hang in there and kicking the thread for you.
I love you guys.... as always DUrs are amazing. It's like a big family- we might fight sometimes, but boy are you guys there when someone needs help. I am so grateful to all of you.
and know this will not last forever. I know it's hard sometimes at a time like this to be confident that you are of infinite value to the universe and that you will turn all of this around, but you ARE and you WILL!
I made a small donation.
Wishing you and your son a brighter future.
Keep us posted.
Another kick for Marrah!
wishing you all the best, marrah g. cannot do anything right now but send good vibes and prosperous thoughts. once again, DU'ers show that they are the BEST.
I considered asking for help. We have a severely autistic adult daughter and it made it incredibly difficult for us to get on our feet. We wouldn't have been able to do it all except that we have each other. I don't know how anyone alone can deal with the adversity that the world presents in this day and age.
You needn't feel ashamed, embarrassed or horrified to ask for help. I wish that some of the money that went toward this outrageously expensive mid-term election went toward folks who need it rather than supplementing the MIC owned media.
I wish you good luck.
for you. Hope all turns around for you and yours right away.
All the best. No shame. Know you will get the amount, prevail this winter and onwards!
Hope you can get relief and rest soon.
Sewing sounds great. Always wanted to see P. town, lil bro. in NYC liked it. Saw some of the coast around Newport once. In DC area and on my own.
If you are ever up this way, let me know I have a son living near Baltimore.
to bring you up to $700. Hopefully, you'll hit your goal (and then some) in no time!
Best of luck to you!!
Sitting here in tears with a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I cannot tell you all how much this means to my son and I.
Also- I had a friend here in RI who holds Magic the Gathering parties once a month for her son and his friends. It's my son's favorite game and the next one is on his birthday and she is turning it into a birthday party for him!
I was facing the same thing with my son many years ago.
I was blessed to be living in a city that had an agency that was able to get him into it right away.
This required that I 'kick him out of the house' so that he could then have access to all of that
agencies remarkable abilities. I also had to cancel the health insurance coverage I had for him for several
months and pay the $1000 a month MINIMUM costs out of pocket (but it was costing me $800 for insurance anyway).
I didn't really have to 'kick him out'; he wasn't homeless for even one day, but I did state that I was
moving in three months and he would not be able to come with me. And I was moving.
I think everything progressed from the foundation they needed that he was (about to be) homeless
and had a disability. The result though was that these wonderful experienced people got him on SSDI so
fast your head would spin. Otherwise, we no doubt would have spent the next several years fighting as
most parents have to do.
He has bipolar disorder, OCD, ADD, etc.
I don't know if there are any agencies there that can assist you.
The program my son was enlisted into is a joint thing managed by a local hospital that specializes in
mental health, with contributions from federal, state, and local sources plus many others.
You might try, if you haven't already, some local crisis hotline, ask them if they have referrals
to other agencies. But some of those crisis lines seem only to offer reflective psychotherapy,
as in, "Oh, so it upsets you that you have no food on your table for tomorrow", which used to
infuriate me, until I realized they weren't any good for anything.
God bless you and wish I could help. So many of us are struggling these days.
I knew DU would come thru.
Betcha we can complete your fund request by tonight...wouldn't that be great????
So glad Marrah posted this. If stress and suffering can be relieved by people helping, we need to ask.
Find out if you qualify, if your hours are cut you are probably eligible. Here are the income guidelines--they also have a 'weatherization' program that can cut that heating bill too: http://www.energy.ri.gov/documents/liheap/LIHEAP%20OM%2028-09.25.13.pdf
Also, have you applied for SNAP? That might take some pressure off you.
Most states have a low income phone system that works through tracfone or NET10 or one of those "pay by the card" cellphones (burner phones to the drug dealers--but hey, they work). If you're not a big phone talker, that might be the best bet for you and save on another bill. http://www.ripuc.org/utilityinfo/telecom/Lifeline.html
Another good resource is your local St. Vincent de Paul Society. They will sometimes make a grant for a purpose (to buy medications, to repair a car, for example) to people. There's no religious litmus test for that charity, either.
I hope you can find your way out of this, and your son's SSDI is approved.
For all the links!
My mom volunteers at St Vincent depaul and she's been keeping her eyes open for me at the store. I didn't know about the other services. She is getting on in years and I couldn't worry her about my situation too much so she doesn't know how bad it was.
and was having a helluva time getting services. The V de P gave him the cash to get his medications which had he not gotten them would have been very problematic. They didn't ask for anything in return, either.
I was very impressed.
Look, you could call one of the directors at the V de P and explain that you don't want to worry your mom--they might be able to work your appointment around her volunteer days. They might be able to give you funds to fix your car, and that seems to me like a first line priority.
Absent that, you should ask the state (the same people that coordinate the LIHEAP and LIFELINE phone assistance) if they have any transportation help for you. If you live where you can take a bus to work, you might be able to get a break on a bus pass. The other thing to consider is carpooling--if you can find someone to carpool with, you put a few dollars in their tank and you're good to go. Might not be a bad idea even if you get the car running. It's amazing how much one can save using public transport in some circumstances.
The car can get fixed now and since I work from home I dont use much gas- just dr appts, food shopping really. Sometimes a trip to the cape to visit my folks. My son can buy student bus passes at the community college since he can't drive yet (he has visual spacial awareness issues and processing slowness) at a discount.
It takes courage to expose yourself and ask for help. We are a family.
we've been there. When our daughter was a baby, we literally lived on a 10 pound bag of potatoes so I could buy baby food. Fried, mashed, baked, etc. Ugh, I couldn't eat potatoes for almost a year after that. t was too proud to ask my folks for money and they weren't well off anyway. We've been together for almost 47 years now (on New Year's Eve) and took the for richer and poorer seriously. Take good care!
DU truly seems to be doing it!!!
This is really wonderful to see, such great community spirit here.
You are not alone, and I'm sure you'll be able to get on your feet again soon. I've been where your are, but had family that was able and kind enough to help, so am paying it forward. We're all in this together!
I have had some tough times lately so I can't help but will send you positive energy that things will get better soon!
Just a few more donations and you can sleep well tonight!
Kudos, to all the kind, generous and wonderful people who gave Marrah a lift.
I think most of us go through a time where we're a little down and out, it's nothing to be embarrassed by.
I hope your son has a wonderful birthday!
He is my sweet shining star. He has two other siblings, both older and doing well. He's had to grow up under the shadow of his brother who is everything he is not.....but what he is, is the sweetest, gentlest, most caring young man I know. If he catches me crying he brings me a cup of tea and says "it will be okay mom"
I do understand what you are going through. I can only afford $20 right now but will contribute more later.
Good luck and don't feel bad about having to do this. We all find ourselves in bad situations occasionally.
but i will give you something tomorrow when i get paid. so many people are struggling, so don't feel ashamed
I reached my goal- I cannot begin to thank you all enough! You are my DU family and I love you guys- I will pay this forward as soon as I can.
I went to go do some chores for a few hours and I came back and OMG!
You are all amazing and I am so grateful.
I am just so stunned....I feel like I can breathe again.
It isn't a lot of extra cash, and you will probably need it sooner than you think.
I know exactly where you are at. I co-signed for a car for one stepdaughter. She managed to get it repo'd and ran up over $3k in toll road fines. I got that all straightened out (taking the car back in the process) and my other stepdaughter was using meth and got CPS called on her. We took in our three grandchildren. Dancing paycheck to paycheck sucks. I hope things get better for you.
I sent a donation with my PayPal account. Keep us posted on your progress. Glad to help.
I just never knew I would be on this end of that amazing generosity.
and I am so pissed that our Gov't spends the tax money we give it on so many anti-social things.
Looking forward to hearing how you are doing, Marrah.
First thing is paying off the utilities. Not having to worry about them getting shut off is a huge destresser. It was getting pretty close.
Good luck to you and your family this holiday season and for the years to come.
I always want my donations to be anonymous, but I don't know how to make that happen without making them entirely invisible.
I click the button to hide it from everyone but the organizer of the page, but that seems to make the donation not get added to the total shown at the top of the page.
What I would like is for my name to not show--i.e., for my donation amount to be shown on the page as being from "Anonymous"--but for the actual donation and message to show on that page (to encourage others coming to the site to make a donation), and for the donation to be added to the total at the top of the page.
How does one do that?
On Edit: The reason I think my donation is not added to the top total when I click the "hide" button is that the top total stayed exactly the same after I made my donation.
I made the page in sept but never posted it anywhere ( i chickened out) so really only been familiar with the page for a few days.
Don't feel bad, it's not you. I know, been there myself, you can work your a** off and not still not stop the downhill slide. Hope your seamstress business works out! And tell your son everyone from DU says Happy Birthday!
Hang in there Marrah and remember to breathe. Every morning is another chance for a great day.
but I'm pretty strapped myself. I am trying to do what I can to change our system and I hope, down the line, will help those like yourself who are slipping through the cracks. I may be here soon myself.
place and ask for help. I would feel the same way.. but, it's better to do something and hope than keeping it to ourselves.
The Best of Luck to you.. I would give you some $$$ if I could but the best I can do now is moral support and kick your thread.
Clarence: [In book inscription] Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
Do I hear a bell ringing?
I can't thank you all enough. I am overcome with gratitude.
Use a bit of that money to buy yourself a good multi vitamin with some Vit. C in it.
Stress can really be harmful, wear down your immune system, and flu season is coming.
I am thrilled that you got the help you need and delighted with how DU members came thru!
People DO care. K&R
I look forward to paying it forward once my situation improves and I am sure it will. I wasn't sure before, but I am now. All this has given me my hope back - and I love you all for it.
Paypal does not keep a cut if $$ is sent to Friends & Family using one's Paypal balance or funds from linked bank account; there is a 3% (or so) charge if using money from a credit card.
The funds are available instantly if using Paypal, so the recipient can use them to shop online or to pay bills right away. If the recipient has a Paypal debit card he/she can withdraw $$ at most ATMs ($3.00 to $4.00 fee) or can use it to pay for something at a store and ask for cash back (usually there is no charge). The recipient can also choose to have the money transferred to a linked bank account (it typically takes 3 to 4 days for the funds to be deposited), or sent by paper check.
Gofundme keeps around 8%, and withdrawals take between 5 and 7 business days. The recipient can choose between an electronic bank transfer or paper check delivery during the withdrawal process.
Am very glad you reached out, sensitive people are helping, and you could finally rest Marrah! I hope others help out even more, so you can also cover other basic needs that come up (too soon!).
Happy birthday to your son, and congratulations to you for doing your best for him. Best wishes to both of you and to everyone who has helped or will help you in any way!
the weight, stress off you and on to steadier days. All the best to you & to those depending on you, including your wonderful big Pooch! Hugs.
Means "Winter Wind" He is a husky/wolf mix that I rescued a year and a half ago. he will be 2 in January. He is a very active, goofy and neurotic toddler.
Please, anyone still thinking of donating to me, please consider the other one instead.
Thank you all so very much for what you have done.
things up quite a bit. Your local legal aid office can often help or refer you to an attorney in private practice with experience in disability cases. Best of luck.
The lawyer warned up this might take a long time and we may have to keep appealing.
Today I was able to pay off the Electric, Gas and rent. I was also able to get my son a used laptop for school for his birthday. I am also able to go do an actual food shopping tonight. Hopefully I will have the car repaired and back on the road soon.
But most of all....I have been able to sleep and no long feel as though the constant stress will send me over the edge any second.
Thank you so much for everyone who donated. I promise to pay it forward as I get back on my feet
I saw your other post and know what is going on in your own life. It makes your encouraging words even more powerful.