When coming out as gay leads to homelessness

[theHandpuppet]

A must read. This is the reality for untold thousands of LGBT children in this country.

The Cincinnati Enquirer
When coming out as gay leads to homelessness
Krista Ramsey
September 27, 2014

Dedrick Hall was 17 when he acknowledged to himself that he was bisexual.

When he shared his identity with friends, classmates at Elder High School and his two sisters, he found support. Or, at least, acceptance.

Then he told his mother.

"She just didn't approve at all. She was very upset about the situation. She said, 'You can't stay at my house any more. You have to find someplace else to go.'"

"I thought, she didn't mean that. She'll change her mind. Then it was like, she's serious."....

MORE at http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2014/09/27/coming-gay-leads-homelessness/16366959/

[BlueJazz]

1. Ah yes...there's nothing like a mother's hate to bring out the best in a child.

The young man was trying to gain acceptance and got kicked in the teeth by his own loved one.
My heart truly bleeds for these youngsters. They learn how cruel the world can be, in the worst possible way.

[Wella]

2. Are there statistics on how common this is?

A real study needs to be done to document the prevalence of youth made homeless by coming out at home. Part of the reason this problem remains invisible to the larger society is that most people think this is rare.

[theHandpuppet]

5. There have been many studies

This is a subject that's oft been discussed at the LGBT group. Here are some of the more recent threads:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113734602
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113723222
http://www.democraticunderground.com/113738653
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1137&pid=40209

[MissB]

3. I just can't imagine.

My oldest came out to me earlier this year. I can't imagine telling him he has to leave home. What kind of mother would I be? How is he suddenly any different of a person than he was the moment before he told me he is gay?

[dickthegrouch]

20. Thank You MissB

When I came out to my parents (40 years ago) I was expecting trouble from Dad and not from Mom. In fact he was as supportive as could be and she was difficult (to put it mildly). The shock could not have been greater. But I appreciated my Dad far more after after that even though it was only on his death bed that I told him how much I had appreciated his support all these years.

If your son hasn't quite twigged to the implications of your support, yet, let us thank you on his behalf for being a wonderful mother.

Dick

[Heidi]

4. Kick, kick, kick!!!

[Shankapotomus]

6. Why aren't parents and families

who do this to their children confronted and shamed?

[theHandpuppet]

12. Because their religious leaders tell them that being gay is an abomination

So as far as they're concerned it's the child who should be shamed and rejected, not them.

[Shankapotomus]

15. Yes but

where are the LGBT groups and allies? These parents should be publicly called out for neglecting their parental responsibilities and making more work for the community. If these parents don't take care of their children, someone else has to. They should be called out.

I suggest a small crew with camera and microphone wait until they leave the house and confront them on their discrimination of their child (with the child's okay).

Stick a mic and camera in their face and ask "Why did you kick your child out of your house?" Then throw it on YouTube.

[theHandpuppet]

16. They're busy fighting homelessness and for rights

It shouldn't just be LGBTs and their allies addressing this epidemic -- it should be everyone. You have to look no farther than this thread for an example. Do you think if I posted a pic of a cute puppy or kitten here this thread could get a few recs? But it's just about thousands of abused and neglected gay kids, so who gives a shit. Not enough, apparently. Or perhaps the fact that these kids are being thrown onto the streets because of religion makes some folks too timid to muster even a murmur of outrage.

My apologies if I'm coming off as curt because my frustration is certainly not aimed at you. Some of us have been posting about this problem for years (including links to organizations that need support) but the response has been underwhelming.

[Shankapotomus]

18. I would approach online liberal media outlets

including Gay USA and ask them to investigate. They always need content for their shows so what could be better than investigating what is happening to LGBT youth? Again, that would be with the victim's approval.

Sometimes you get a better response from people if you SHOW them what is happening and who exactly is doing the community a disservice.

Small time businesses out to scam customers hate nothing more than being a target of investigative journalism.

[theHandpuppet]

17. My wife and I are supporters of the Point Foundation

http://www.pointfoundation.org/page.aspx?pid=378
The Point Foundation empowers promising LGBTQ students to achieve their full academic and leadership potential – despite the obstacles often put before them – to make a significant impact on society.

Here's one Point Foundation scholar who is working to make a difference....

http://www.pointfoundation.org/viewpoint
Kyle Vey Leads Alternative Service Break to San Francisco Focusing on LGBTQ Youth and Homelessness
September 15, 2014

My Community Service Project (CSP) for the 2013-2014 school year involved taking a group of students from North Carolina State University to San Francisco, California in order to help the homeless and work with local LGBTQ youth. The goal of the project was to engage the students so they would be inspired to continue to help these populations back in Raleigh. The project involved a semester and a half of planning and budgeting. Service organizations, such as GLIDE Memorial Church and Project Open Hand, were contacted before the trip in order to set up times for the group to serve and prepare meals, as well as sort clothing for homeless youth. At GLIDE, we worked directly with the homeless community of San Francisco while providing them lunch and dinner. Many of our group members said that this was the most impactful volunteering they had ever done. At Project Open Hand, we also prepared meals and learned the importance of a sterile environment due to many of the clients having compromised immune systems. Additionally, some educational and discussion opportunities were organized at the Durham Rescue Mission and the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

Personally, my goal was to be a better team leader, building on the feedback he received previously. I focused on being a more open, personable and reflective team leader. I have now led this trip twice, and this one turned out to be an even better experience than the first. I am confident that I was at least able to bestow them all with a greater knowledge about the homeless and youth LGBTQ communities and what they can do to make a difference.

[Shankapotomus]

19. That's all good

But the community's resources wouldn't have to go to such services if parents were given the message that what they were doing to their children was not acceptable to the community.

If the child can be shamed and shunned by the parents, why can't the community shame and shun the parents? That would send a message. If I was a business owner and I knew who they were I would do everything legal I could to make sure they weren't welcome in my store.

[B Calm]

7. I went to my first same sex marriage this weekend. At first I thought

the two young girls were brave to come out and show redneck Indiana how much in love they are, but then I saw both sets of supporting parents of the brides.

[sakabatou]

8. If you kick your kid out when you find out he or she is gay

then you really didn't love him or her.

[reddread]

9. the nearly universal cause/precedent of homelessness

families that will not support a member with issues they cannot abide or understand.
probably the second most significant cause is a complete absence of family, perhaps the same thing.
its NOT the economy that puts people on the street. Its their family members who cannot or will not cope.

[Scruffy Rumbler]

10. Why aren't families that do this prosecuted for child abandonment and abuse?

We go after families that allow their children to die because a religious beliefs, why not arrest them for abandoning a child?

As a 50 year old gay male, this was the largest issue among my friends before the AIDs/ HIV Plague. I lost count of how many friends never had contact with family because the family chose their religious crap over their child. That is, until they lay dead or dying, then the family would swoop in like hyenas and vultures. I had friends that would come home from the hospital after the death of their boyfriends and find locks on their homes. Literally putting a second person out on the streets with their same hate.

Thanks for bring awareness to this!

[theHandpuppet]

11. Here's the organization mentioned in the article

Providing shelter and services to homeless youth. Please consider making a gift.

http://www.lys.org/runaway2.html

[theHandpuppet]

13. The Forsaken: A Rising Number of Homeless Gay Teens Are Being Cast Out by Religious Families

Rolling Stone
The Forsaken: A Rising Number of Homeless Gay Teens Are Being Cast Out by Religious Families
While life gets better for millions of gays, the number of homeless LGBT teens - many cast out by their religious families - quietly keeps growing
By Alex Morris | September 3, 2014

One late night at the end of her sophomore year of college, Jackie sat in her parked car and made a phone call that would forever change the course of her life. An attractive sorority girl with almond eyes and delicate dimples, she was the product of a charmed Boise, Idaho, upbringing: a father who worked in finance, a private ­school education, a pool in the backyard, all the advantages that an upper-middle-class suburban childhood can provide – along with all the expectations attendant to that privilege.

"There was a standard to meet," Jackie says. "And I had met that standard my whole life. I was a straight-A student, the president of every club, I was in every sport. I remember my first day of college, my parents came with me to register for classes, and they sat down with my adviser and said, 'So, what's the best way to get her into law school?'"

Jackie just followed her parents' lead understanding implicitly that discipline and structure went hand in hand with her family's devout Catholic beliefs. She attended Mass three times a week, volunteered as an altar server and was the fourth generation of her family to attend her Catholic school; her grandfather had helped tile the cathedral. "My junior year of high school, my parents thought it was weird that I'd never had a boyfriend," she says, "so I knew I was supposed to get one. And I did. It was all just a rational thought process. None of it was emotionally involved."

After graduating, Jackie attended nearby University of Idaho, where she rushed a sorority at her parents' prompting. She chose a triple major of which they approved. "I remember walking out of the sorority house to go to Walmart or something, and I stopped at the door and thought to myself, 'Should I tell someone I'm leaving?'" she says. "It was the first time in my life where I could just go somewhere and be my own person."....

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/the-forsaken-a-rising-number-of-homeless-gay-teens-are-being-cast-out-by-religious-families-20140903#ixzz3EhwG3fi4

[theHandpuppet]

14. One Town's War on Gay Teens

Rolling Stone
One Town's War on Gay Teens
In Michele Bachmann's home district, evangelicals have created an extreme anti-gay climate. After a rash of suicides, the kids are fighting back
By Sabrina Rubin Erdely | February 2, 2012

Every morning, Brittany Geldert stepped off the bus and bolted through the double doors of Fred Moore Middle School, her nerves already on high alert, bracing for the inevitable.

"Dyke."

Pretending not to hear, Brittany would walk briskly to her locker, past the sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders who loitered in menacing packs.

"Whore."

Like many 13-year-olds, Brittany knew seventh grade was a living hell. But what she didn't know was that she was caught in the crossfire of a culture war being waged by local evangelicals inspired by their high-profile congressional representative Michele Bachmann, who graduated from Anoka High School and, until recently, was a member of one of the most conservative churches in the area. When Christian activists who considered gays an abomination forced a measure through the school board forbidding the discussion of homosexuality in the district's public schools, kids like Brittany were unknowingly thrust into the heart of a clash that was about to become intertwined with tragedy....

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202#ixzz3EhxP6Zs8

[Behind the Aegis]

21. I have known several people to whom this happened.

Again, this type of report shows, despite the claims of some, the way GLBT are being treated is still problematic and not quite past the point on the tipping scale of things being "all good" yet. Certainly, some things have become better. There is an aura of more acceptance, though I don't know how real it is.