The difference between the responses to Peterson and Rice

[cali]

The differences are stark and disturbing. I've read a lot of comments on a lot of different sites- from ESPN to Slate. While very few people are actively supporting or defending Rice, many people are defending and even supporting Peterson. In fact, from what I've read, more people support Peterson than condemn him. So why is that? There seems to be a lot of support for corporal punishment of children by parents- including switching. Many of the supportive comments come from those who were switched themselves by parents or grandparents and seem to see it as an indication of love by those parents/grandparents, as well as the thing that saved them from becoming "bad".

I have read numerous posts that assert that switching a small child to the point of bleeding, bruising and welts is not abuse. There are numerous posts that assert that if there was more corporal punishment there wouldn't be an "epidemic" of disrespectful, violent kids running wild, that there was much less of that in the "good old days". That belies the fact that 85% of parents use corporal punishment.


I confess that the difference in responses to the two incidents flummoxes me. I don't understand the lack of compassion or understanding that is exhibited. I do think the widely divergent response reflect a culture that accepts violence against children by their parents in the name of discipline.

[ann---]

1. The only thing

parents who hit (in any way) teach their children is to be a violent hitter when they grow up. Sickening. I'm betting both Ray Rice and Peterson were hit as children. That's how they learned to be physically violent in handling life's problems.

[cali]

2. I agree- though I think they learn other bad things as well

They learn fear, resentment and anger.

Peterson was switched when he was a child. And he told police that he doesn't think he did anything wrong and intends to continue switching his kids. I don't know about Rice's childhood. Also, I think that children can learn to abuse by witnessing abuse even if they don't directly experience it.

[PDJane]

3. I don't understand the support for either man.

Corporal punishment leaves children fearful and passive, with a huge reservoir of inner rage. I have personal experience with that. It does the same to adults, and yes, I have experience with that, too.

The last man who hit me ended up with his head through a wall, and it was a very liberating experience. I imagine that a horse or puppy that bites his abuser feels the same kind of liberation. Violence just begets more violence, and it's a lousy cycle. It's time to make it stop, especially when the abuser is a grown man of large physical proportions that is used to violence.

Please note that I didn't hit my child. I had a very good memory for how that feels, and hated it.

It's long past time to fire the commissioner.

[cali]

4. yes, goodell should go. but what I'm pointing out is that it's socially acceptable

to defend child abuse in the guise of discipline, and not so in the case of domestic violence. There is far, far more support and defense of Peterson than can be found for Rice.

[Sheldon Cooper]

5. I wonder if people would feel the same way if a video of Peterson beating his child

could somehow surface. It's one thing to consider it in the abstract, or even have some bizarre fondness for the beatings one received in their own childhood. But I think most people would be horrified to see an actual four year old little boy beaten to the point of bloody gashes and welts, screaming in pain and terror, while a huge, grown man took a switch to his entire lower body. I think the outcry would increase pretty quickly, because the greatest outrage over Ray Rice didn't happen until people were able to actually see what he did to his wife.

[cali]

6. yes, I think that's a good point

and not that the following is particularly germane, but Rice said his son didn't cry and if he had he would have stopped. His son says that his father stuffed leaves in his mouth.

[Lurker Deluxe]

7. It came up

The subject of discipline of professional athletes came up yesterday at various times during the days games.

The Ray Rice issue came up more than once and generally everyone was of the opinion that he will play again but has coming to him what he gets, and that if he does not play again it would be appropriate.

The Peterson (I'm in Texas, he's a home town guy) came up pretty strong between the Texas game and waiting for the 49'rs game to kick off. I stayed out of it for a bit and let the guys go on about how they walked uphill both ways to school while being beaten with wooden spoons in the driving rain during the winter months with no coat and shoes with holes in them ... before I chimed in and asked if they knew the kid was 4.

FOUR!

Tune changed almost immediately as I handed them my phone with the pictures of the FOUR year old with whelps all over him.

I think that very few people are informed, generally about anything, and make judgments about when they were younger and got into trouble and got a switch or a belt taken to them. And as I repeated last night, my father took the belt to me on more than one occasion, as did my coach take a paddle to me at school more than once ... neither of them ever left a mark on me that was visible after fifteen minutes, and there were damn sure no "defensive wounds".

While I do support corporal punishment, that is not what this is. This is child abuse. Peterson should be charged, convicted, placed on probation, and lose his job until the term of that probation is over.